Page 46 of The Atonement

She softened, her eyes searching mine. “Mine too.”

“You…you weren’t like other girls, Ains. I realized that when we met.”When I couldn’t hurt you.I didn’t say that part aloud, but the truth of it was there between us. “And that was when I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That you were the person who could save me from myself.”

She looked down, playing with the plastic bag of candy thoughtfully. “We used to be great, didn’t we?”

“We still are,” I told her, running a finger against the back of her arm. “We still can be.”

When she didn’t say anything else, I reached for her cheek. She turned to look at me almost hesitantly, and I lowered my lips to hers. Kissing her was as easy as breathing. Easier, maybe. It was the only thing that made sensein the moments that made no sense at all. I was sure most of our problems could be solved if she’d just let our kiss take her back to who we used to be. If she would just let our kiss remind her of those people.

As quickly as it started, it ended. She turned away, staring out the window, and whispered, “Thank you, Peter. This was really kind of you.”

Taking it in stride, I touched her wrist gently, sliding my hand into her palm. “Of course.”

“Where are we going?” she asked, as I started the vehicle and drove out of the lot.

“Home,” I told her, gripping the wheel. “So we can talk more.”

Or not talk at all.That would be my preference.

She pulled out her phone, checking it.

“Do you have somewhere to be?”

“No. I was just checking the time,” she said. “My car is still parked on the street. I didn’t plan to leave it for long.”

“We’ll come back for it.”

She nodded, not protesting, and turned up the radio.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked, pointing at the untouched food in her lap.

“Maybe once we get there. I’m not too hungry.” She wasn’t looking at me, but I tried not to take it to heart. I knew things were going to be strange between us for a while. I could handle strange, as long as she was with me.

Half an hour later, when we pulled into our long driveway, something shifted in Ainsley. She sat up straighter in the seat, checking her phone again, and Inoticed how white her knuckles were as she gripped the door handle.

She was nervous. Scared, maybe. But she had nothing to worry about.

“Everything okay?”

“You were right, Peter,” she said again, repeating what she’d told me at the coffee shop.

“Hm?”

“I can’t kill you. I’m so sorry.”

“Well, I think I’ll manage to forgive you,” I said with a chuckle under my breath, trying to piece together what she was saying and why she suddenly looked so worried.

“I can’t kill you,” she repeated for the third time, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t protect myself and my children from you.”

As she said the words, we rounded the corner and the truth smacked me in the chest. The driveway was lined with police cars and various official vehicles. My blood ran ice cold.

No.

“What did you do, Ainsley?”