Page 38 of The Atonement

The sound of my phone ringing penetrated the silence, and I jumped, watching as the screen on the dashboard lit up to announce an incoming call.

I knew it was Peter without seeing the screen, which was why when I stared at my mother’s name, I had to blink twice to be sure I wasn’t seeing things.

“Mom?”

“Ainsley, where are you?”

“I’m…driving. Why?”

“Are you crying?” she asked, sounding distracted.

“No,” I lied.

“You sound like you’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Well, when is your flight?”

“Oh, I’m not sure. I haven’t booked it yet.”

“Why not? I thought that was why you needed my credit card number last night.”

“No,” I said simply. “Er, well, yes, it was. I used your card to load a prepaid visa, so we could book a flight when we’re ready. Thank you again for letting me do that. I’ll stop by your house this afternoon and bring the cash to pay you back for it.”

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just pay for them from your own account. What’s the deal with all this cash? Are you dealing drugs now? Isthatwhy Peter left you?”

“No, Mom, I’m not dealing drugs.” I rubbed the stress wrinkle from my forehead. “I told you, Peter and I decided to close the accounts in our name and open separate ones, in order to keep things civil while we figureout what we’re doing. I just haven’t had a chance to open my new one yet.”

“I really think you’re jumping the gun on this, Ainsley. It all seems very dramatic.”

I bit my tongue, gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “Yeah, well…it’s done. Thanks again.”

“Wait—” she cried, before I could hang up.

“What?”

“Come home,” she said, then cleared her throat. “Come back to my house. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for not understanding. I just…let me help you.”

“Mom, it’s fine, honestly. I’ve got—”

“I’m not offering because I think you can’t handle it. I know you better than that. I’m offering because you’re my daughter. I may not always know the right thing to say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to…you know… It doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

It was the closest I’d ever come to hearing my mother say she loved me.

“I’ve already paid for the hotel room. But I appreciate your offer. Really, I do.”

She sighed. “Okay, well, do the kids need anything? Maybe I could order your dinner and have it delivered.”

“No, I’ve got it covered. We’re all fine. We have money and food, and we’ll be out of here soon. I just had to take care of a few last-minute errands.”

“Well, when will you be back?”

“I’m not sure,” I lied again. “Maybe a few months.”

“What about their school? And work? Will I see you at Thanksgiving?”

“Once we get where we’re going, I’ll enroll them in a new school. Or…homeschool. Maybe I’ll do one of those online programs for the year. And, I’m still figuring out my work situation. I have no idea about any of the holidays. I’ll let you know. It’s all happening pretty quickly, and I can only take it one step at a time.”