Page 31 of The Atonement

“There’s no reason to be.”

I swiped a tear from my cheek, steadying my voice before I spoke again. “I’ll, uh, I’ll get the flight information sent over to you. And I’ll call you in the morning to set it all up, okay?”

“Okay.” Her tone was soft as she waited for me to say more, but I couldn’t.

“Now, go enjoy the rest of your date. I’ll be fine, I promise. Iamfine.”

“I can talk as long as you need. He’s still fixing dinner and—”

“I’m fine,” I swore again, forcing my tone to be more convincing. “Honestly. Go, have fun. I need to look at flights before I pass out. It’s been a long day.”

“If you’re sure…”

“Positive.”

“Okay. Love you, babe.”

“Love you. Talk soon.”

I ended the call just as more tears began to fall. My best friend was moving on, as she should. My husbandwanted to kill me. My mother thought I should stay with him anyway. My kids hated me.

I was alone.

And with good reason.

I deserved to be alone after all I’d done.

But not until I made Peter pay.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

PETER

Idrove through the town that night without direction. Turning down side streets and taking curves too fast. I needed to move, to act, to do something, but there was nothing to do. Ainsley had slipped through my fingers. She was gone, maybe for good, and she’d ruined me with her departure.

She’d taken away from me the one thing I’d ever been good at.

My knuckles throbbed from where I’d pounded them against the steering wheel while sitting outside of the bar.

What was I becoming? What had I let her turn me into? Why did I even care?

Think…

Think…

Think…

I needed to get inside of her head. It wouldn’t be easy. She’d spent our entire marriage inside of mine, so even if Itried to think like her, she’d probably predict it and still manage to stay a step ahead of me. But there had to be a way. I knew her. I knew what she ate and what perfume she wore; I knew what made her feel better when she was sick and how she looked when she was sleeping.

I knew her.

Maybe better than anyone else, but still. My wife was an impenetrable wall, without gates or scaffolding for anyone. Whatever I knew about her, it was merely what she’d let me know.

Let me believe.

A sudden thought hit me, and I pulled the SUV over to the shoulder in an instant.

I was wrong.