Page 20

SARA

“ O h my God.”

Camille crowds Eve in the frame of my iPad, her jaw hinging open in shock.

It takes a lot to stun my sex therapist friend and our equally adventurous pal who’s banging said friend’s older brother. I’ve been bringing them both up to speed on my last several days of adventure.

“You go, girl.” Eve’s shaking her head but beaming like a proud mama bear whose cub just discovered a honey pot. “So Trent’s staying there?”

“For now.” I take a sip of my pina colada. The virgin variety, since it’s not even noon as I bask in a quiet corner of the pool deck. “Trent felt guilty for crashing the resort, so he told Ash he’d teach S.C.U.B.A. lessons for free.”

Camille quirks an eyebrow. “You mean the ‘Suck on my Snorkel’ S.C.U.B.A. enchantment or whatever they call it in the app?”

Eve snickers beside her. “They don’t call it that anymore. We rebranded it to something else in the menu. ”

“Trent isn’t sleeping with anyone.” A wave of heat rushes my cheeks. “No one but me, I mean.”

“Wow, wow, wow .” Eve pretends to applaud. “I still can’t believe it. Our little Sara’s all grown up.”

Pride blooms in my chest, along with a smidgeon of guilt. My mother called this morning, urging me to consider a simple church ceremony with Trent. Shame sloshed in my belly as I held the phone tight to my ear.

“I’ve been talking with his mother,” my mom informed me. “We agree it’s understandable Trent got cold feet. His father’s hasn’t been the best role model as a husband so naturally?—”

“Mom.” I didn’t want to discuss it with her.

But Mom kept on talking. “The important thing isn’t the wedding itself. It’s that you get married so you can properly be husband and wife. Building a home and a family together is the only thing that truly matters.”

I tried not to give her false hope, but the truth?

I’m clinging to hope of my own.

“I think we both need some time,” I told my mom carefully. “We’re taking a step back right now and?—”

“Oh, Sara.” My mother sighed. “You know you can’t move to San Diego unless you’re married. Obviously, you wouldn’t live together outside wedlock, but even moving to the town where Trent is when you’re not man and wife—well, it’s just not right.”

It’s just not right.

The holy gospel, as far as my parents are concerned.

But I didn’t feel like fighting her from afar. Not while I’m here in the land of soft, sloshy waves and white sand and shame-free sex. Instead, I pretended to get another call. “I need to take this, okay? Give my love to Dad.”

Now, as I struggle to focus on this call with my friends, I try not to think of my parents. “When are you back on the island, Camille?”

“Late next week,” she says. “It’s a bummer to miss you, but I set up my Portland appointments to coincide with your wedding. I couldn’t cancel at the last minute.”

“I totally get it.” Cancelling’s not easy. Just ask all the wedding vendors I’m still haggling with. At least Trent’s holding up his end of the bargain by paying for all of it. “I still don’t know where this is going.”

“What do you mean?” Eve asks.

I shrug and look out at the pool. Two women stand in the shallow end kissing while a man massages the shoulders of one of them.

I’m not even sure who’s a guest and who’s a consort, but I’m wildly curious about everyone’s sex life these days.

Even the waiter who walks by with nachos and a gleam in his eye leaves me wondering if he recently got laid.

“Obviously, I’m sleeping with Trent.” I find myself smiling, replaying our soapy adventure in the shower this morning. “And I’m having sex with Logan today.”

“No way!” Camille hoots with astonished delight. “Oh, he’s a sweetheart. And I hear he’s very talented.”

“Can confirm.” Eve laughs, brushing her hair off her face. “He’s who I did the DVP enchantment with.”

“That’s right, I forgot.” I knew she slept with Logan, but I couldn’t recall which enchantment it was. “I already know he’s good at the oral thing, and our chemistry just felt right, you know?”

Look at me, talking about chemistry like a woman of the world. It was only four weeks ago that I sat through a lecture from my mom about “performing your wifely duty” on the honeymoon.

“Chemistry’s important,” Eve says. “Especially when you’re adding a third to the bedroom.”

“Or fourth,” Camille adds with a smile. “Trent’s okay with it?” She winces and I watch her replay her words. “Scratch that, honey. Please strike that from the record.”

I must’ve missed something. “What do you mean? ”

“I mean this trip is about you , Sar. Trent shouldn’t be the one calling the shots or approving of anything. I was just wondering where he fits into all this.”

I’m wondering the same thing, honestly. “He wants to watch.” I nibble my lip, eager for it to be four o’clock already. “I want that, too. And I’m dying to know what another dick feels like inside me.”

Two women on a sunbed glance over from the other side of the pool. One of them smiles and my rush of embarrassment turns to something that feels more like pride.

Here at the Jilted Brides Honeymoon Club, I’m one of them . Not Sara the virgin, but Sara the vixen. Sara the sexually adventurous.

Sara the bride who isn’t sure anymore whether she’ll marry her groom.

“Sweetie?” Eve’s brow furrows. “Is everything okay?”

“You got kinda quiet just then.” Camille leans close to the screen like she’s peering inside my brain. “Are you feeling unsettled about where things stand with you and Trent?”

“Kinda.” I hate to admit it, but yeah. “I love being free and untethered while I’m here. I’m embracing the sexual Sara. Trent and I agree there’s no point returning to the real world before we have to, so we decided not to discuss it for a bit.”

Eve and Camille trade a look. It doesn’t appear they agree with me.

“What?” My gaze swings between them. “Is that bad?”

“Not bad,” Camille says carefully. “That’s a judgment word, and judgement has no place in the bedroom.”

“Especially at Crystal Bliss,” Eve adds quickly.

“But?” I prompt, watching Camille as she chooses her words with care. “What are you worried about?”

“Just be careful,” she says. “Communicate with each other as clearly as you can. The last thing you want is each of you operating with different goals. ”

I hadn’t considered it that way. “I don’t really know if we’re on the same page. I still want to get married and have kids someday. That part hasn’t changed, and I don’t think it ever will.”

Camille smiles at me kindly. “You don’t need to have all those answers now.”

“Enjoy,” Eve urges. “That’s part of the journey.”

“It is the journey,” Camille adds. “But at the end of the day, you and Trent need to discuss whether you want the same things or if your goals are shifting in different directions. It won’t work if one of you wants to restart and the other one wants to forget.”

That makes sense.

“Thanks,” I say, meaning it. “I really love you guys.”

“We love you, too.” My girls both blow kisses, laughing and waving as we wrap up the call and sign off.

I sit there in silence a moment. The man and two women get out of the pool and towel off in a hurry. They’re laughing and stuffing their feet into flip-flops, in a rush to get to wherever they’ll tear off their clothes and roll around naked together.

In the back of my mind, I replay my friend’s words.

It won’t work if one of you wants to restart and the other one wants to forget.

Which one am I and which one is Trent?

I’m not sure I know anymore.

“Holy fuck, Sara.” Trent gapes in awe as I stride from the bathroom, wearing the lingerie I bought for our wedding night. “You look so—so?—”

“Stunning, mouthwatering, stupendously gorgeous,” Logan supplies when words fail my fiancé.

Ex-fiancé?

Don’t think about that right now.

“Jesus Christ.” Trent shakes his head, looking more awed than he did the Christmas his mom bought him a motorcycle. “I can’t believe how fucking hot you are.”

“Thanks, boys.” I pivot to show them the back, which is honestly more like a string up my butt. It has garters and ribbons and a whole lot of see-through black fishnet.

Best of all, it’s not white.

I silently thank Eve and Camille for that.

“You want him to see you as sexy and hot,” Camille urged me last month on a girls’ trip to the coast. She nudged me toward racks of risqué lingerie in the Mischievous Mermaid shop.

“You want him to tear it off with his teeth,” Eve agreed. “Not treat you like you’re made of spun glass.”

Until this moment, I didn’t get what they meant.

I pivot to face the two men I’ve instructed to sit on their hands. They’re both at the edge of the bed, neither one wearing a shirt. That’s as far as I’ve gotten with my fantasy requests, so I might need a little help now.

“Fuck.” Trent shifts his weight, massive pecs flexing as he moves. “It’s gonna kill me not to put my hands all over you.”

Logan pipes up beside him. “Pretty please may we touch you?”

I glance at the front of their boxers, delighted to see they’ve both got erections. I should probably tease them a little bit longer, but I’m dying for someone to touch me.

“You may.”

Logan practically leaps off the bed, coming around behind me. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Oh?” My voice sounds breathy and high as his hands glide down my arms to my waist. He moves them back up, teasing the sides of my breasts before stroking his way down my belly.

Trent’s heated gaze tracks the other man’s hands to the lacy top of my panties.

He teases his fingertips under the waistband, but he doesn’t touch me there .

Not yet .

“Logan,” I gasp, squirming against his big body. “What’s your idea?”

His voice rumbles low in my ear. “I touch you and tease you until you’re good and wet.” The tips of his fingers dance at the edge of my slippery cleft, and I shudder as he slips one inside.

“Mmm.” He moans when he finds me already sopping. Stirring a finger inside me, he whispers into my ear. “Look who’s way ahead of me.”