Page 96 of That Conflicted Feeling

Mrs.Bgives me a mischievous side-eye. “You’llwish you’d gone.”

“Oh,Idoubt that very much.”

“Haveyou heard from that handsome young man again?”Lord, this woman has a wicked smile. “Youknow.Theone who ‘sexed’ you in the llama shed.”

Nomatter how hardItry,Ican’t turn back the tide of heat rushing to my cheeks.NorcanIstop my mouth from lifting a little at the corners.

“That’sunfair,Mrs.B, and you know it.Iwas upset.Andit came out all wrong.”

Shelaughs. “Haveyou, though?Backin the day,Iwouldn’t have said no to a fine man like that.”Shesmooths her skirt across her thighs. “Hewould have had to have committed a high crime indeed for me to kick him out of bed.”

“Oh, he definitely committed a high crime.”Youcan’t come back from a felony like betraying my trust.

“Hereshe is,” saysMrs.BasCarlyflies by the window and grabs the front door as she fights to get her breath back.

Unableto talk, she waves and beckons me toward her.

“Nope.”Icross my arms and clutch them tight to my chest. “Don’tcare.”

Well, maybeI’ma bit intrigued.Shedid run back here pretty damn quickly.Andshe knows better than to drag me up the street to look at a “YellowBarnComingSoon” billboard.Whichis whatIimagine it is.

“Poll, come on,” she pants. “Youneed to see it.”

“Ifit’s so exciting, just tell me.”

“Forfuck’s sake.”Shelets out a breathless sigh as she walks around the back of the counter, grabs me by the overall strap, and pulls me toward the door.

Asmuch asIdon’t want to know whatMaxis up to,Ialso really do.

Ofcourse,Ido.

Andnot only with his business.Iwant to know what he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning, if he still smells ofMom’ssoaps, and if he remembers licking the chocolate frosting off my nose.Andwhether thinking of me makes his insides ache as much as mine do every timeIthink about him.Andif that ache isn’t easing for him either, no matter how many days go by.

“Okay,”ItellCarlyas she leads me across the shop. “Butwe can’t leave this place empty.”

“WhatamI?” asksMrs.B, arms akimbo. “Freshair?”Shewaves us away.

Carlydrags me outside asMrs.Bcalls after us, “I’llmake sure no one steals anything while you're gone.”

Assoon as my feet hit the sidewalkI’mfilled with hot, panicky dread.I’mreally not sureIcan handle this.

“Seriously,Carly.”Iswallow past the rock in my throat. “Idon’t thinkIcan take any more reminders ofMax.”There’sa prickling behind my eyes. “Ithurts so much.”

“Well, you need to see this,”Carlysays as she frog-marches me up the street like we’re trying to make the last bus, and its doors are closing.

Acouple minutes of pedestrians scattering to the sides later, she grabs my shoulders and swivels me to face the sign.Isqueeze my eyes closed just in time.

Sheleans into my ear. “Youhave to open your eyes.”

“Nope.”Atear leaks out asIpress them even tighter shut. “It’sonly going to say ‘YellowBarnComingToWreckYourNeighborhoodSoon’ or something.”

“Forfuck’s sake,Poll.Iwouldn’t have dragged you here for that.Stopbeing a child and just look at the fucking sign.”

Ishake my head slowly.Nogood can come from seeing something that reminds meIallowed myself to fall for a man who turned out to be everythingI’dconvinced myself he wasn’t.

Carlyrests her chin on my shoulder, and her voice softens to a gentle whisper. “Icould read it to you.ButIwant you to see it for yourself.Pleaselook,Poll.Forme.”

Isniff.