Page 25 of Texas Hold Em’ (The Devil’s Luck MC #3)

JAMESON

C arrie had her eyes closed as she sat in the passenger seat of the Chevelle and I drove us home.

Her window was cracked open a couple inches, letting cool evening air flow through the car.

An old country song played on the radio, too quietly to hear the words, and I waited for her to say something or open her eyes.

I’d just finished recounting the details of the plan to her.

The guys and I had decided on the bare bones of the plan and come to terms with the fact that we couldn’t pin down every little detail.

A lot of it, if not most of it, would be left up to chance.

We couldn’t control how Bates would respond, and the ball would be in his court and Carrie and Brody’s.

Me? Well, I’d be temporarily out of commission to put it lightly.

“Say something,” I said when the silence felt too heavy.

Carrie still didn’t open her eyes. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I sighed. “I know this hasn’t been easy, but we just have to hold it together a little longer.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she clutched at her stomach. “No, seriously. I think I’m going to throw up.”

“ Oh, like right now? ”

She clawed at the doorhandle as I pulled off to the side of the road and hit the brakes.

“Yes, as in right now,” she grumbled before she gagged.

She kept it down until I managed to get the car to a stop.

A soon as we were pulled over to the gravel on the side of the road, she swung the door open, lurched outside, staggered three steps away from the car, bent at the waist, and let it out.

I grimaced and got out from behind the wheel. “Shit. I don’t have any water or anything. What can I do?”

She held up a hand but stayed doubled over, breathing. “Don’t come any closer. Just give me a minute.”

I hovered near the back bumper of the car.

Carrie gave me a side-eyed look I couldn’t read and dragged the back of her hand across her mouth. “This plan is batshit.”

“Well… yeah,” I said simply.

“It’s never going to work.”

Were we really going to go through all this again?

I didn’t have the heart to tell her to shut up about the whole thing and let me handle this, but I also didn’t want to indulge the wishy-washy bullshit that her actions had led to.

We were in this now. There was no turning back.

I’d made my peace with that and I was the one with the most on the line.

Why couldn’t she?

“A crazy plan is required to take down a crazy man,” I said. “The club will have my back. Yours too. You can do this. You’ll make the call to Bates tomorrow night. You’ll tell him you killed me in my sleep, and we’ll stage a photo. Easy.”

She scoffed. “Easy, my ass.”

I kept going like she hadn’t said anything. “Bates will come see my body or send someone, or you’ll have to bring me to him. Brody will be there with you every step of the way. You’re not in it alone. Then the most important part of the plan comes into play once Bates has confirmed I’m dead.”

“I know, I know,” she hissed, straightening up. “I have to make sure your body doesn’t leave the apartment. ”

“Precisely.”

“I’ll say whatever it takes, but I have to convince him to let me keep your body so I can use it to lure Jackson and the others to the landfill.

” She took a step toward the car but paused, looking for a moment like she might be sick again.

We both stood silently while she collected her composure and looked up at me from beneath her furrowed brow.

“It’s not that I don’t understand the plan, Tex.

Because believe me, I get all the moving pieces and mechanics of what I have to do.

But I don’t for a second think it’s going to work on the likes of Bates. ”

“And why not?”

“Like I said. It’s a batshit plan.”

“To catch a batshit guy.”

“You watch too many movies if you seriously think this is the solution to the Bates problem.”

I moved toward her. Carrie let me put my hands on her shoulders, and I bent down a little to be level with her gaze.

“Carrie, I know you feel responsible for all of this, but the weight of that responsibility is no longer on your shoulders. All of us have weighed our options. We could have walked away and made a different choice, but we’re choosing to go ahead with this, and it has nothing to do with you. Do you believe me?”

“No.” Carrie shook her head vehemently. “No, I don’t believe you for a second.”

How could I make her understand?

I put two fingertips to my temple. “Fucking woman. You’re more stubborn than I am.”

“That’s rich.”

“It’s a fact.”

“Look, I have every right to be terrified. If you die, that’s it for you. None of this will be your problem anymore. But me? I’m going to be stuck in it. I have to keep living it. I have to wake up every day after and remember that my actions led to your death.”

I grabbed her again and shook her. “Carrie, for fuck’s sakes, how do you not see how irrational this is? ”

“ I’m the one being irrational?” she asked almost hysterically as she tried to break free of me.

I held fast. “Yes, you are. Answer me this. If the plan works and everything goes exactly as we want it to and we bring Bates and Caroline down and not one of us is harmed, do you take all the credit?”

She blinked up at me. “What are you talking about? Let me go. I don’t want to play hypothetical games with you right now.”

“Answer the fucking question, Carrie. Would you get all the credit? Would our success be solely because of you and your actions?”

She searched my eyes with hers. They were a darker blue under the night sky, and they reflected the stars. “No.”

“And why not?”

“I don’t know.” She shoved my hands away and stepped back. “Because it would be a team effort?”

“Exactly. Failure would be a team effort, too.”

Her posture stiffened.

“I know you want to believe that everything is on your shoulders,” I said more softly now, “but it just isn’t true.

We get to make our own choices, Carrie. Just because we’re running through a door you opened does not mean that whatever happens to us on the other side of it is your doing.

If I die, it will because of my own choices, not yours.

You’re not responsible for my life. This is a decision I would make a hundred times over if it meant getting a shot at saving my friends—no, my family—from the hellfire Bates will continue to rain down on them if he’s allowed to continue operating in Reno unchecked.

It’s just that simple for me. I need you to let this go. ”

“What if I can’t?” she whispered.

“Try.”