Page 20 of Texas Hold Em’ (The Devil’s Luck MC #3)

CARRIE

I tossed and turned in Tex’s bed and missed the warmth of his body next to mine. I’d convinced him to let me get some rest before we talked to Jackson. It had been a long night.

It was half past eight in the morning. I’d been lying here, sweating in my yellow sheets despite the comfortable temperature of the bedroom, wondering who the hell I thought I was running after Bates like I did tonight.

Back in Austin, this kind of behavior would have gotten me written up or worse, suspended.

I rolled onto my back and draped my forearm over my eyes to block out the sunlight. “And I’d deserve it.”

Tex had been all too gracious about this whole thing.

For a biker and a hellion, he had a lot of patience, and I wondered if I’d misjudged him and every other man like him for my entire life.

Yes, he was a criminal. And yes, he’d crossed a lot of lines where the law was concerned.

But if I’d learned anything since becoming a Ranger, it was that nothing was black and white in this life.

Tex was still a good man, and I believed the others were too.

Even Jackson.

I sighed.

I get why he hates me now .

The bikers on Harleys with chips on their shoulders and hell in their hearts weren’t the loose cannon here. I was.

With a disgruntled mumble, I rolled back onto my side and drew my knees up.

Minutes ticked by. A bird chirped outside the window and a neighbor took the trash out.

I heard garbage bags rustling before the lid of the bin fell closed and the stranger muttered something about the garbage smelling foul.

“Fuck,” I hissed, sitting upright and rubbing at my eyes. My body felt so tired and lethargic, but my mind wouldn’t slow down enough for me to drift off to sleep.

Trying to sleep was truly pointless.

So I got out of bed, threw on a pair of sweats and a loose tank top, and padded out into the apartment, where I found Tex predictably smoking in the pit.

He had the metal door propped open with a wastebasket from under the kitchen sink, and he was peeling an apple and tossing the skin into the bin while he held his cigarette between his lips.

He looked up from his apple peeling when I filled the doorway and wrapped my arms around myself.

“Can’t sleep?”

I shook my head.

He cut me off an apple wedge and handed it to me on the knife. I pulled it free, the juices making it stick to the blade, and took a bite. It was fresh and crisp, more sour than sweet. My cheeks puckered.

He smiled and the cigarette dangled dangerously. “Well, if you can’t sleep, we might as well head to Grant’s.”

My stomach threatened to fall out of my body, and I pressed my hands to my gut instinctively. “I can’t face them,” I whispered.

“You don’t have to do it alone.”

“They’re going to hate me even more than they already do.”

“None of them hate you. Except Jackson. But Jackson takes longer to warm up to people than the rest of us. He’s got baggage. Just try not to provoke him this time and you’ll be fine.”

“Try not to provoke him? He’ll be provoked as soon as he hears what I did last night. ”

“It doesn’t have to come from you.” Tex pulled the last slice of apple from the edge of his blade with his teeth.

He tossed the apple core in the wastebasket and the cigarette returned once more to his lips.

He took three more drags before putting it out.

“I’ll do the talking. You just keep your head down for once. Think you can handle that?”

I licked my lips. “Maybe.”

Tex wrapped an arm behind my waist and pulled me up against him. It surprised me, and I let out a little gasp before he put a hand under my chin and forced me to look up at him.

“I mean it, Carrie. Head down. I’ll do the talking. Even if Jackson tries to get a rise out of you, don’t respond. It will only add heat to the fire and we need this conversation to go in our favor.”

“Is that an order?”

“An order, a request. It’s whatever you need it to be in order for you to listen.”

Despite the tightness in my chest and my stomach still trying to vacate its host, I smiled. “I’ll behave.”

I scratched at my upper arms as we walked up Grant’s driveway and Tex paused to unlatch the metal gate into the backyard.

He frowned at me. “You’re scratching yourself raw.”

“It’s a nervous habit. Leave me alone.”

He drew the gate open and latched it behind us.

I hovered around him like a six-year-old, desperate for his reassurance and protection as I continued scratching at my arms despite the way my skin burned.

Tex grabbed me by the shoulders before taking both of my hands in his and holding them firmly between his palms. His grip was warm and steady as he looked into my eyes.

“Enough of this,” he said. “You’re a Ranger, Carrie Hart. Even if you want to run away and hide, right now is the time to put your big girl fucking pants on and pretend you know what the fuck you’re doing. You hear me? ”

I blinked.

He released my hands. “You can scratch yourself until you have hives on the drive home. But right now, pull it together. Don’t show a weakness. You can do this.”

Yes, I can.

I didn’t start scratching again. I followed him across the gravel to the shop.

The bay doors were open, and all of the men, as well as Suzie, were tinkering away on bikes or other projects.

Unable to help myself, I immediately sought out Jackson.

He stood at the back of the shop with his back to me.

He spoke to Mason, who stood beside him.

Mason laughed at something Jackson said, but his eyes were on Suzie as she wrestled with a bolt on a bike.

Mason tapped Jackson’s shoulder when he saw Tex and me coming.

I reminded myself of what Tex had just said. I’m a Ranger. I can do this.

“Hey look, it’s the dynamic duo.” Abel flashed us a white smile and hooked his thumbs in his jeans. His pants were covered in grime and oil, and he had a dark smear across his nose, most likely from scratching an itch with a grease-covered finger.

Tex met Abel with a clasping of hands and a shoulder bump. When they broke apart, Tex looked around at them all. “Boys, we need to talk.”

Suzie stood and wiped her hands on her coveralls. “Does that mean I have to leave?”

I wanted her to stay. There was something comforting about another woman’s presence in the testosterone-filled shop.

Jackson shrugged. “You can stay, Suzie. What’s this about, Tex?”

Tex and I shared a look before he cleared his throat. “Maybe we should move up onto the deck and sit down. We’ve got a lot to tell you.”

The next half hour was a special kind of torture for me.

I wasn’t good at sitting quiet and still like a good girl while a group of men shot me mistrusting glances and muttered behind their hands about the quality of my character.

Jackson didn’t bother hiding his irritation with me.

He shook his head at me often, massaged his brow with two fingertips, and rolled his eyes half a dozen times before Tex wrapped up the story shortly after telling them Bates demanded Tex’s death in order to secure the deal on Friday night.

“It’s Tuesday,” Suzie said. “All of this is supposed to go down in the next three days?”

“Pretty much,” Tex said.

Suzie surprised me by shooting me a scornful look. “Have you learned your lesson yet? You’re fucking with our lives, Carrie. Do you get that?”

I looked at my hands in my lap and nodded. Yes, I get it.

“We’re not going through with this,” Jackson said almost dismissively.

He waved a hand in his sister’s direction, dismissing her concern with nonchalance.

“It’s too messy. And what, we’re supposed to sacrifice one of our own to get our hands around Bates’s throat?

No. I don’t think so. We need a new plan. ”

“We’re not going to get a better opportunity, Jackson.” Tex turned to Brody, who sat on his other side. “Chips, how long can a person’s heart be stopped for?”

“No,” I blurted out. Shit. I was supposed to keep quiet. But hell no. “Nobody is stopping anyone’s heart. That’s batshit.”

Brody nodded. “What she said.”

“Indulge me,” Tex said.

Brody ran a hand over his head with a sigh. “Four to six minutes, tops.”

Tex’s gaze slid slowly toward Jackson. “That’s just enough time to convince Bates I’m a goner.”

Suzie’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?”

“Of course he’s crazy,” Gabriel muttered.

“You can’t go through with it, brother,” Mason said, shaking his head. “There are too many variables we can’t control. Yes, we want Bates dead, but putting one of our own down in order to achieve that end? That’s not who we are.”

“Chips can bring me back,” Tex said matter-of-factly .

My stomach churned. No, no, no. This was not what I’d signed up for.

“It’s not always that simple,” Brody said. “There’s a very high chance I couldn’t bring you back.”

“I’m willing to risk it,” Tex said. “Jackson, think of your brother. Think of Tracy. They didn’t deserve what they got, and they won’t be the last souls Bates crushes if he’s given more days on this fucking planet.

We have to finish him, and Carrie, although somewhat misguidedly, has created a controlled situation out of town where we can get this done.

If we don’t take this chance we may never get another one like it.

When Bates is gone you won’t have to worry about leaving Samantha home alone, or the bar, or your sister.

Everyone will be able to breathe again.”

Jackson stroked his chin thoughtfully, but his eyes burned with frustration.

Knox, who sat on Mason’s other side, spoke for the first time since we’d all sat down. “Theoretically, let’s say we do this. How would it work, Chips?”

Brody looked around at the group with dismay.

Jackson nodded. “Go ahead.”

The doctor shifted uncomfortably before he spoke, and it made me almost relieved to see that the thought of temporarily killing one of his friends bothered him so much.

“ Theoretically , I could stop his heart with an electric shock. Six minutes is the maximum amount of time he could stay down, and even that is pushing it. I wouldn’t want to go past four if we could help it.

I’d restart his heart. But none of this is an exact science.

There’s no guarantee how your heart and your body will respond.

There are variables I’d want to know. Blood pressure, for example.

Heart condition. You smoke like a fucking chimney, Tex.

There’s no way your insides are healthy. ”

Tex shrugged. “I feel fit as a fiddle.”

I leaned back in my chair and took deep breaths. This was a lot. Too much, in fact.

Chips rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, admittedly this is batshit. Don’t get me wrong.

But… I don’t think it’s impossible. And I ha ve to agree with Tex’s logic.

We’re never going to get a chance like this again.

And sometimes risks and sacrifices are necessary to win the war. Right, Jackson?”

All eyes slid to the President, who knew more about war than the rest of them combined. He nodded solemnly.

“I still don’t like it,” Mason said.

Tex grinned. “Nobody said you had to like it.”

Grant leaned forward in his chair. “Wait, are we really considering this? What’s happening here?”

Jackson turned to Brody. “This is your area of expertise. If you think we can pull this off, I’m behind it.”

My heart raced wildly in my chest as I waited for Brody’s answer.

“I think,” he said slowly, “that if we prepare properly, and we do this thing right, that it’s worth playing with fire.”

Jackson nodded. “So be it.”

I stood up abruptly and my stomach lurched. I considered dashing to the railing to throw up over the edge, but a few deep gulps of fresh air and a hand on my stomach eased my nausea.

Tex looked up at me. “You alright?”

“This is crazy,” I said. “This is absolutely fucking crazy. I know I made this mess but I… I can’t be the reason this goes wrong. I don’t want this on my conscience. If you all seriously think this is a good idea…” I shook my head. “No, no way.”

With that, I stormed off the porch and down the steps. Tex called after me but I picked up my pace and let myself out the metal gate. As soon as I reached the other side, I bent over, braced my hands on my knees, and dry heaved.

There was nothing in my stomach to throw up.