Page 21 of Texas Hold Em’ (The Devil’s Luck MC #3)

JAMESON

C arrie didn’t say a word to me as she sat in the passenger seat of the Chevelle.

After finding her nearly throwing up in the driveway after she stormed off the porch, I realized we needed to get out of there and have this conversation away from my friends.

I’d gotten their buy-in, which was why I wanted to go to Grant’s in the first place. Now I just needed to get hers.

She was the one who’d made all this possible, after all.

At a red light, she rolled down her window and twisted away from me in her seat.

“Are you going to ignore me all day?” I asked.

For a moment, I thought she might not answer. “I’m not ignoring you.”

“Sure feels like you are.”

“Well I’m not,” she snapped, glaring over her shoulder at me. “Forgive me for feeling a little withdrawn as I process the fact that I’m going to be responsible for you dying.”

I tried not to laugh. Something told me that might piss her off more. “Temporarily dying.”

“Hopefully it’s temporary. But hopefully is all we’ve got. You were there. You heard what Brody said. There’s no guarantee. For all we know, your heart could stop and he might not be able to bring you back. Do you know what that would do to me?”

The light turned green and I stepped on the gas. “This isn’t about you, Carrie.”

“No shit. But if something goes wrong, it’s on my head, nobody else’s.”

“That’s not true.”

“How so?” She twisted back toward me, straining against her seatbelt.

“I’m the one who went to Bates. I’m the one who made this happen.

If not for me, you guys would have had time to sort something out.

It would have gone differently. If you die, I’m going to have that on my conscience for the rest of my life. ”

“I’m making my own choice. Just because it was your idea doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility.”

She rolled her eyes and slumped in the seat. “You don’t get it.”

Neither of us spoke for the rest of the drive.

When we pulled up to the warehouse the sun was at the highest point in the sky.

It was a warm day, but nothing like the heat we’d had over the course of the summer.

Carrie shielded her eyes from the sun as she got out of the car and went to the back door of the warehouse, where she waited for me.

I let us in.

We moved down the humid hallway all the way to my door at the end. She waited with her arms crossed and leaned against the wall while I unlocked the door. I pushed it open and she ducked under my arm.

“I’m going to try to sleep again,” she said.

“We need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to.”

I caught her wrist. “Well, I do.”

She wrenched free from me. “What do you want to talk about, Jameson? Huh? There’s nothing you can say to me that will make this feel any less like a cage.

I feel like I have nowhere to go! All my choices have been stripped from me and I’m being forced down a road with no exits that keeps getting narrower and narrower, and at the end of the road, I’ll be crushed between two retaining walls and I won’t be able to breathe and…

and…” She trailed off her as eyes grew glassy and pressed a hand to her chest. “I can’t do this. Oh my God, I can’t do this!”

I caught her in my arms as she crumpled.

She sobbed and clung to my shirt while I held her and I tried to think of the right thing to say.

“You know,” I said softly, resting my chin on top of her head, “nothing is ever guaranteed in this life. The boys and I joined the club knowing full well we’d be giving up the straight and narrow life.

We take risks every day. Some of them aren’t even worth it.

We pull stupid stunts on our bikes or start a fight in a bar with a stranger.

The thrill? It’s in our blood. Some things are worth risking it for, Carrie.

And this? I want to do this. I need to. For William. ”

“He’s dead,” she sobbed. “He’s dead, and if he were here, he’d tell you that you were being an idiot, too.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, he probably would. And then he’d probably try to convince me to trade places with him because that was the kind of guy he was.”

Carrie sniffled. “Well then, that would make him stupid, too.”

I laughed. “Yeah, well, we all have our moments I guess.”

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.”

She pulled back and looked up at me with her arms wrapped around my waist. “I don’t want you to die, Jameson. That’s all.”

I held her face in my hands. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into my palm.

“Baby,” I whispered, “if I don’t do this, I might die anyway.

Bates has made it very clear that he wants us all six feet under.

Regardless of what we do next, he’s coming for me.

He’s coming for all of us. This plan gives me some control, and I’m not going to waste it.

Brody and I will make a plan. We’ll make it work. ”

Her eyes fluttered open. “You’re playing with fire. ”

“Brody knows what he’s talking about. Six minutes is plenty of time.”

“Six minutes is too much time! Are you kidding me? You can’t afford to be fucking dead for six minutes! And somehow in that time span, we’re supposed to convince Bates that you’re dead?”

“Well yeah, he’s going to want proof.”

“Well yeah,” she said, mocking me by dropping her voice lower.

She shoved my hands away from her face and took a step back.

“And just how are we supposed to prove to Bates that you’re dead?

He’s not an idiot. He’s going to need more confirmation than just a picture.

He’s going to want to get up close and personal.

With your corpse ,” she hissed. “How can we let him get close enough to believe you’re really dead while also making sure Brody can start your heart, all within six minutes of stopping it?

If you really think this could work, then you’re smoking more than just nicotine. ”

“We’ll figure it out.”

She rolled her eyes. “Figure it out, my ass. I can’t believe you’re even entertaining this idea. Has it occurred to you what might happen to me if you died? Jackson hates me enough as it is. If you die because of me, what do you think he’ll do?”

“Nothing,” I said. “He’d probably escort your ass out of Reno himself and pray like hell he never saw you again.”

“They’d ruin me,” she insisted. “You dying would ruin me.”

I gave her a cheeky little smile.

She shoved me hard in the chest. “What the hell are you smiling about?”

“Nothing, nothing, it just seems like you’re kind of worried about me is all.”

“Worried?” Her voice was damn near close to a yell. “Of course I’m fucking worried, you idiot! I don’t want you to get killed! I care about you!”

“You do?” I stepped toward her.

Carrie stepped back. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Too late. ”

She held up a hand. “Stay where you are. This is too much. I can’t catch my breath.”

“Let me help you.”

She shook her head, and her lips moved, but no words came out.

I could feel her falling apart as she held me at arm’s length. The woman was tougher than anyone I’d ever met, but she was also capable of feeling so deeply—something I’d never mastered myself. Shutting down and cutting feelings off always worked better for me.

She was so beautiful when she was vulnerable.

“Come here,” I said.

She continued shaking her head and backing away, but she didn’t have anywhere to go. Her back hit the wall beside the TV in the living room and her shoulders slumped. She took a shuddering breath and wiped at her eyes as more tears came.

“I don’t know who I thought I was,” she whispered, “but I was wrong to go to Bates. I was wrong to assume I could handle this and play with the big boys. I should never have left Austin. My life was so good there. I had everything I needed. I was safe.” Her voice cracked.

“I miss my friends and I might never see them again.”

“Hey.” I caught her up in my arms. This time, she tipped her head forward and rested her forehead on my chest while I rubbed her back in slow circles.

“Don’t talk like that. Just because things feel heavy right now doesn’t mean they won’t get better.

We have a hell of a week ahead of us, but I, for one, am glad you’re here. ”

She sniffled. “You are?”

“Definitely. You’re not giving yourself enough credit.

You acted rashly last night, but you were also bold.

Fearless. You created an opportunity out of thin air for us.

And like I said, you’re underestimating the Devils.

Give us a bit more credit, will you? We can do this. I know we can. Because of you.”

She tipped her head back and gazed up at me. Her blue eyes swam with tears, some of which had left the front of my shirt damp. “How on earth are we supposed to get through the next three days?”

“Together.”

“It’s that easy for you? ”

“The way I look at it, I have three days with a beautiful woman before I get a shot at justice. We’ve all been waiting a long time for this, Carrie. We’re ready. I’m ready. And until the night comes? I want to enjoy every second I have.”

Her lips looked plump and inviting despite the tear that got caught in the corner of her mouth. She let out a shaky breath as her fingers tightened in the fabric of my shirt. Her eyes searched mine. “Are you going to kiss me or not?”