Page 26 of Tempting Bo (Montgomery Dreams #2)

BO

This is one of those things where I feel like I should be grateful for what I have and not push for anything more.

Mom’s plan worked. Savannah’s lies were to be just that, and she slunk off to (lick) kick her wounds somewhere. I couldn't care less what she does, as long as it doesn't involve me.

Kenzie and I are back together, stronger than ever because of it all.

I’m having a hard time with guilt—seeing her smile like I hung the stars after everything she went through feels cruel somehow.

Not because of her, but because I don't feel like I deserve it.

I still don't think I've earned her forgiveness, no matter how much she insists I have.

It's just hard to accept that she did more than I would ever have the balls to do, and I'm the one benefiting from it.

Still, I'm not stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth. I've got Kenzie back by my side, and I'm never letting her go again. The last two days have been filled with a lot of talking and a lot of promises, but there's one thing I haven't been able to give her.

She wants me to fix things with my dad.

I have absolutely no idea how to do that.

We've never argued like this before. I've never stood my ground and gone against his wishes, and it almost feels like I betrayed him more by doing that than I could have by being with Savannah.

We haven't spoken since that day in the barn.

We've given each other a wide berth on the farm, splitting up to do separate tasks on separate ends of the property. Today's the first day I'll see him since then, and his request for help was a curt text message informing me that he needs help rounding up the cattle that got loose.

I've never seen the man text in his life. He’s always been the type to call, no matter what he needed to say. It's going to be awkward, needless to say, but I won’t back down.

I said what I meant. I was right about everything. What I believe in and who I love is something I won’t apologize for. If Dad wants to be an insufferable ass about it, that's up to him.

I make my way downstairs and head into the kitchen, aiming for a cup of coffee before I start my day. Mom is waiting for me, right in front of the coffee pot. I can tell by the stern look on her face that I'm about to get a tongue lashing.

She doesn't give me a chance to turn tail before she starts talking.

“I understand that you're upset with each other, but you and your father need to work things out,” she says firmly.

I hold my hand up to stop her tirade, surprised when she actually stops. I expected to have to talk over her, but she pauses to listen, crossing her arms over her chest.

“If Dad wants to apologize, I’d be happy to talk to him.

” She sighs at me, already opening her mouth to argue, but I keep talking.

“I wasn’t in the wrong here, Mom. I tried to tell you guys that Savannah was lying, and I tried to find a compromise about what to do if she wasn’t.

But you two wouldn't trust me. He spent so long drilling the importance of doing the right thing into my head that I almost married the wrong girl.

And even if she wasn't lying and I was wrong, you guys need to trust me to be an adult and make my own choices.

I don't want to wind up in a loveless marriage, and I don't want to hurt the people I do love.”

“I know it's important to you that your father admit you were right, but you need to understand where he's coming from. He grew up in a much stricter household, and all he wants is for life to be good for?—”

“This isn't about who was right, Mom.” I shake my head sadly, but a tender smile tugs at the corner of my mouth.

No wonder Kenzie had such a hard time getting the root of the problem through my head.

My parents seem just as clueless as I was.

“It's about trust. About you trusting me, and me trusting you to trust me.

If he can't get that, then we have nothing to talk about.”

I turn and walk right out the front door, leaving my mother and the coffee behind.

I'm less upset with her than I am with him, but she can't keep protecting him from his own shortcomings. I should know. It's only after I looked at who I was and compared it to who I want to be that I was able to fix anything.

I saddle up one of the mares, fill my saddlebags with everything I’ll need, and head out to join my dad in the fields.

First order of business will be to fix the fence where they busted loose, so he’s probably already started on that.

Maybe we’ll be able to work in silence, and I can try to have a conversation with him later.

I told Mom that I’m not interested in talking unless he apologizes, but I know that’s not likely, and Kenzie’s right.

It’s not like I don’t want to have a relationship with my dad. But something’s got to give.

Dad has been such a hardass about being a reliable person and doing the right thing my whole life. I’m the only son, and he wants me to be a good person. I can’t blame him for that.

The thing is that I am a good person. I just want to live my own life, not the one he lays out for me.

I want to make my own path.

I have a feeling that’s going to be a hard pill for him to swallow.

His back is to me when I reach him, and I stop to dismount. He glances back as I tie my mare up to one of the low hanging branches of a tree. His own horse is tied up a few feet away.

I expect him to have already turned his attention back to the fence by the time I turn around, but to my surprise, he’s just standing there. Waiting for me.

He has his hands tucked into his pockets and a bashful smile on his face. I pinch myself subtly on the thigh to make sure I’m not dreaming. A sharp prick of pain flares for a moment, leaving me to blink stupidly at him.

“How was the ride out?” he asks, easy as ever.

“Uh.” I hesitate, not wanting to give him the impression that we can just breeze over this. I know better than anyone that he’s not the type to just come out with a whole big apology speech. Small talk it is. “It was fine. Little cloudy today. Figure it’ll rain this afternoon.”

“Yeah. Could use the rain.”

We stand there awkwardly for another few moments before he ambles over to stand next to me. He pats the mare I rode over on idly, not meeting my eyes as he talks. I don’t think it’s because he’s ashamed, exactly, just that it’s easier for him to be honest like this.

“I wanted to thank you, son.” The words come out a little jagged at the edges, like he’s not quite ready to say them.

“I’ve been real caught up in my own world these past few months, and didn’t spend too much time thinking about how this was all going to affect you.

CSS Even though you weren’t happy with it, I was set on being a stubborn old man.

I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.

I kept telling you to be a man, and I just wasn’t seeing that’s exactly what you were doing. ”

I stare at him, slack jawed, as he talks. His voice stays level, that same soft smile on his face, and keeps petting through the horse’s mane.

Is it really going to be this easy?

David Montgomery, textbook definition of proud and stubborn, admitting defeat? Without even a fight?

Well, I guess these past several months have all been a fight.

“You’re a fine man, Boden,” he says, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m proud of you. And I’m sorry for pushing you toward that Ward girl. Kenzie’s always been the only one for you, and I know that. If… if you think you can forgive your old man, I’d like to try to do better.”

It almost feels like there should be more. Like I should scream at him and be furious at the thought of forgiving him, but instead, I’m filled with a sense of peace.

It’s not that this is easy , it’s that it’s important .

To both of us.

“Yeah,” I say softly, focusing on the mare myself. “Yeah, I think we can both do better, Dad.”

I pet over the well muscled shoulder of the horse as we let a comfortable silence settle between us. There’s a lot I want to say, but none of it feels right. It’s not the time, not the place. I want to think through the words more.

But there is one thing I want him to know. Or maybe I just want to say it out loud.

“I'm, uh, pretty sure Savannah drugged me. That’s why I can’t remember that night.

I didn’t—I wasn’t irresponsible. I didn’t drink myself stupid.

” It feels like something I shouldn't admit, something I should hide behind my fragile masculinity, but I'm done playing that game.

“Keith said a couple guys have had similar experiences with her.

I don't have any proof, but… I guess I just wanted you to know.”

Dad looks at me like he's studying me, his brow furrowed and his lips in a thin line. He doesn't look disappointed in me, or disgusted, or even angry.

I guess I was worried he'd think less of me for letting something like that happen to me, but he just nods. He doesn't ask me if I'm okay. I think he can tell I'm not really ready to talk about it.

“Those sons of bitches will get their karma someday soon, son.” He sounds certain of himself, but not bitter about it.

It's a nice change from the frustration I've gotten used to hearing in his voice recently.

“I've got no doubt about that. But we're going to stand with you through all of it. No matter what.” His tone is heavy with things unsaid, a million repeated apologies and promises to do better. I'm glad he doesn't voice them.

The time for apologies is over. From here on out, life is a clean slate. I don't want it dirtied with guilt and expectations anymore. I just want to live.

“Thanks, Dad,” I say softly. “It means a lot that you'd have my back.”

He smiles, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, and claps me on the shoulder.

“You'd be just fine even if I didn't.” He sounds proud of me, and I keep my eyes fixed on the shadows dancing across the ground to hide the emotion that wells in them. “But I promise you, kiddo. From now on, I'm right here with you.”

It's nice to hear.

It's nicer to realize that for the first time in my life, I don't need to hear it. The only person I'm living for now is myself.

And Kenzie.

God, it's good to have her back.

“How about we get this fence fixed up and get those damn heifers back in the pasture before they clear out your mother’s garden?” Dad asks.

“Sounds like a plan.”

It’s a good start to what I thought was going to be an awful fucking day. If we get this done before lunchtime, there might even be some coffee left for us.