Page 21 of Tempting Bo (Montgomery Dreams #2)

KENZIE

I'm tired of people knocking on my door.

I look like shit, and I feel worse, but I force myself off the couch to answer the incessant pounding. If it's some salesperson, they're going to get an earful. If it's someone I know, they're probably going to have to deal with me sobbing all over them like a baby.

I pull open the door, not bothering to paste on a fake smile. It wouldn’t fool anyone.

Bo stands at my doorstep, damn near vibrating with energy.

Of fucking course it's Bo. I contemplate slamming the door closed in his beautiful fucking face for a second, but he lurches forward and pulls me into a hug before I can go through with it.

“Kenzie, thank fuck,” he says into my hair. “God, it's good to see you.”

My brain short circuits at the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his muscles arms around me. Before I know it, he kicks the door closed behind him and squeezes me so tight I can hardly breathe.

“It's okay,” he says with a relieved laugh. “I figured out a way to fix everything. All of this is going to be over with before we even know it.”

He sounds so relieved, and he's rocking me back and forth as he hugs me. My brain feels like it's in hyper-drive, so many thoughts bouncing around in my skull at once.

I need to take a step back.

Or ten.

“Wait, Bo, hold on.”

He stumbles a bit when I push him back, and I resist the urge to whine at the loss of his touch.

My whole body feels like it's burning, shame and anger and hope and relief all swirling together in an absolute mess in my heart. Bo looks confused, glancing between my eyes and my still outstretched hands that keep him at arm’s length.

“Kenzie?”

“Just… fuck, just wait a second.” I can't find any words to say through the whirlwind of emotions in my brain. It takes me a long several seconds of standing there with my eyes closed and focusing on my breathing to calm myself down enough to speak. “What do you mean about fixing everything?”

Those warm brown eyes light up again, excitement sparking on his features. He steps toward me again, but I take a step back into the living room, needing the space to keep a clear head.

He falters, pausing for a second, but barrels in anyway.

“Oakley showed Mom that video,” he says, sounding thrilled. “From the rodeo, I mean. Mom and Dad are trying to figure out how to get proof that Savannah isn't pregnant!”

“Okay?”

I draw the word out slowly, happy to hear the news, but confused by… well, everything. If they can clear that mess up, it means that the family won't be under so much stress, but it doesn't fix the root of the problem between us.

“Kenzie, we can be together again!” he says, and my heart shatters. “I can finally fight for what I want, and all I want is you.”

The realization that Bo still doesn't understand crashes over me like an ice cold tsunami, and a broken laugh tears from my lungs. Does he really think it’s that easy?

That as long as the bottom line is met, it doesn’t matter what it takes to get there?

Does he not realize how much he’s torn my heart to shreds?

“No one's telling you not to, so you can stand up for yourself now?” My words are harsh, and my tone is so acidic that I almost don't recognize it as my voice. I've been through hell over this and to see him still so blithe and carefree about it makes my guts twist in pained fury.

“I—what?” He laughs awkwardly, stepping forward and grabbing my hands. “Kenz, did you hear me? I'm working on fixing this. For us.”

“ Your mom is working on fixing it,” I correct him, yanking my hands away. “Me and Oakley and Maggie and your mother are finding solutions. You're sitting back and doing what you're told, just like always.”

He blinks at me in shock, a flicker of hurt flashing in his eyes, but I can't stop now that I've started. I turn my back on him and pace, throwing my hands into the air as I talk to stop myself from screaming in frustration.

“You didn't even try to stand up for yourself! As soon as your dad told you what he expected of you, you folded. I begged you to fight for me, and you said that you loved me, and then you fucking left !”

Bo looks on in horror as I rant and rave, my words sinking in deeper than he's ever understood me before.

“You've always done what people expect of you,” I say, utterly heartbroken.

“People expected you to be popular in high school, so that's what you were.

We were friends, but you never looked at me as anything else because people expected you to date someone other than the bookworm.

Your dad expected you to work on the farm, so you did, and now he expects you to give me up because of this thing with Savannah, and you won't even try to tell him no!”

Tears stream down my face as I whirl to face him again, standing on the other side of the room as he stares at me, stricken.

He looks like a scared kid, unsure of what to do or how he even got here, and the thought makes me laugh furiously.

That's how he's always been, just going with the flow until someone tells him to do something else.

“I thought I mattered to you.” My voice comes out broken and squeaky, but I don't care.

I need to say this, and I need him to hear it.

“I'm so fucking in love with you that I was willing to stay with you, baby or not.

I would've raised Savannah’s child like it was my own if you asked me to.

But you'd rather choose duty over someone who loves you this much. Is it too much to ask for somebody to love me like I love them? Is it too much to ask for you to actually fucking care about me?”

I crumple down into a ball as those final words tear out of me.

They feel like they rip a part of my soul out along with them, and all I can do is wail. My head stays buried in the gap between my knees and my chest, but my sobs echo throughout the room. I would've given up everything for Bo. No matter what he asked, I would've said yes.

He wouldn't even entertain the thought without video evidence that Savannah might be lying. He couldn't trust me enough to even give it a shot.

My whole body quakes as my sobs trail off, my cries turning to silent gasps for air as my heart breaks all over again. I hear Bo’s careful footsteps as he walks over, and I want to scream at him to leave me alone, but I can barely muster the energy to suck in my next breath.

His palm is warm between my shoulder blades, and a fresh wave of tears burns through me. I'm never going to feel this again.

Whatever was between us, it'll never be the same again. We’ll never just be childhood friends, and if we can fix our relationship, it'll never be easy and innocent like it was in the beginning. This situation has broken something, and I don't think it can be put back together again.

“Kenzie, I'm sorry.”

His voice sounds choked, but I don't look up. If I see his face right now, I don't know what I'll do.

“I felt so helpless, and so scared. I didn't know what to do, and I thought?—”

“What will you do if she really is pregnant?” I ask bluntly.

There's no emotion in my voice, no anger, no hurt. He still doesn't fucking get it, and I’m too tired to keep trying to hammer it into his thick skull. Either he figures out what he isn't understanding, or he loses me.

That's the only choice here.

“I—what do you mean?” he asks, sounding shaken. “You and Oakley saw her drinking and riding the bull, right?”

“She can still make awful choices even if she's pregnant, Bo,” I say with a humorless laugh.

“So if she's telling the truth, what are you going to do? Because from what you told me, nothing’s changed.

You're still just doing what your parents are telling you is acceptable.

Just because it aligns better with what you want doesn't mean you're standing up for yourself.”

Bo is silent at that.

I give him a long several minutes to think, hoping against hope that he'll come up with something to soothe my nerves.

Anything . I need him to understand how much he hurt me, why he hurt me.

This isn't something I can look past. The seconds turn to minutes, and he says nothing. He just rubs over my back, silent.

“Get out.”

The words fall heavily into the silence that stretches between us. Bo’s hand stills on my back. His thumb twitches against my shoulder blade, and he draws in breath to speak, but I don't give him the chance.

“I need you to leave,” I say, finally listing my head from between my knees.

I'm sure I look like a wreck, tears and snot covering my face, eyes red and puffy. My tears haven't even stopped flowing, but I force myself to speak through them.

“I need you to go,” I repeat, choking on every syllable. “Please, Bo. Just… if you love me, if you really love me, I need you to leave me alone for right now.”

He looks like he wants to argue, but can't find the words. His eyes flit over my face helplessly, mouth dropped open as he stares at me. No words fall from his lips. No final pleas, no explanations.

Tears well in his eyes as we stare at each other, and he shakes his head like he hopes none of it is real. This time, there's no running away.

My heart aches so sharply in my chest when he stands that I swear I'm going to choke on it.

“I love you, Kenz. I swear.”

He says it over and over through his own tears as he stumbles toward the front door, and I can do nothing but watch as I cry.

Even now, all he can do is listen to what someone else tells him to do.