Page 13 of Tempting Bo (Montgomery Dreams #2)

BO

I’m fucking tired.

These days, that sentiment is becoming a more common thread in my thoughts. Life was good, filled with Kenzie and new experiences and the fun of falling in love and learning different things about someone I’ve known my entire life. Then Savannah Ward had to butt her pointy little nose in.

I can’t keep my head on straight lately. Especially after telling Kenzie everything; my mind just won’t stop spinning.

Sleep is hard to come by, and I can hardly get food down.

I stare off at nothing for half the day that Dad has to remind me to get the basics done around the ranch.

Today was the worst of it so far, and I wound up being flung around by an unruly heifer who was not at all interested in the branding iron.

I don’t blame her, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about being flung into a foot of mud and cow shit.

Dad didn’t help, either, and laughed his ass off at my predicament. It’s the first time in years that a cow has gotten the better of me, but I can’t focus on anything, no matter how hard I try.

I just got out of the shower, and can hardly even remember going through the motions of cleaning myself. The stink is gone so I must have washed my hair, but the only thing in my mind is Kenzie and fear. I roughly dry myself off with a threadbare old towel, scowling down at the floor.

Time fades in and out of focus as I yank boxers and sweatpants up my legs. I’m in the middle of pulling a random tee over my head when my bedroom door slams open.

Oakley bursts through the doorway in a flurry of long brown hair and storming footsteps, glaring viciously at me.

I grit my teeth as I meet her eyes, already certain this will go badly.

I’m in no shape to have a real conversation with anyone, and Oakley is the last person I want finding out about Savannah. She’d be gutted.

“Talk,” she demands.

I swallow harshly, nerves and guilt joining the ever present frustration in my gut to bubble unpleasantly.

“What am I, a dog?” My shirt sticks to my still dampbb skin as I tug the hem of it into place, which only serves to heighten my annoyance. “Sit, speak, roll over. Want me to give paw next?”

Oakley looks just as annoyed as I do, but I have no idea what crawled up her ass. To be honest, I don't have the energy to worry about it right now, no matter how much I want to take care of my sister. There's just too much going on in my own head for me to worry about someone else right now.

I tousle my towel through my hair, hoping Oakley will get the message and leave me alone for now.

“You don't want to play that game right now,” she warns. “Savannah Ward is pregnant. Start talking.”

My towel falls to the floor in shock, and I meet Oakley’s fiery gaze through the still-wet strands of my hair. The shock quickly melts away into bone-chilling terror, and my mind races as I drop her gaze.

How does she know? Has Savannah given up any sense of tact and started telling people? She said I had a week, and it's barely been two days.

God, I'm an idiot for trusting her.

“What does Savannah Ward have to do with me?”

It’s a shitty deflection, and I hate lying to my family, but I'm not ready for this. Not in the slightest. I bend down to pick my towel up off the ground, avoiding Oakley’s eyes.

“What does getting blackout drunk and waking up naked next to Savannah have to do with her being pregnant?” Oakley shoots back.

I can't hide my disgust about the situation. Oakley’s always been good at getting whatever information she wants out of someone. I'm no different.

“How do you know about that?” I keep my voice steady, but my shoulders slump in defeat. It doesn't matter if I'm ready to talk about this yet, Oakley is going to make me. “Is she telling people?”

“Kenzie told me.”

Oakley’s voice is more frigid than the Arctic itself, and my heart aches in my chest at the mention of Kenzie. She didn't give me a chance to explain anything, but I don't blame her for that. What she must be thinking right now?

“How is she?”

“How do you think? One minute she's falling in love with you, and the next you're telling her you got another girl pregnant.

She looks like shit, and it's your fault.” Oakley rarely turns this kind of attitude on me, but when she does, I know better than to try to talk my way out of it.

Better to take the tongue-lashing like a man than be a coward about it.

“Tell me what happened, Bo, because I cannot believe that you would be stupid enough to fuck Savannah Ward !”

Oakley vibrates with the force of her rage, but she keeps her voice down to a furious hiss. I can tell just how much she wants to scream at me, but Mom and Dad are downstairs, so she keeps her fists balled at her sides and fights to keep her temper at bay.

At least that means she hasn't told them yet. I need to be the one to say it.

I have to be a man about it.

“She's lying,” Oakley says, her tone pleading as her gaze searches my face. “She's lying, right? You didn't. You wouldn't.”

“I don't know what you want me to say, Oakley.” My voice breaks over the words, my fingers clenching tight in the worn cotton of my damp towel.

“I don't know what happened. I had two drinks, and then I don't remember the rest of the night.

My buddy said I left early to go home because I wasn't feeling well, and I remember talking to Savannah for a second in the parking lot.

She was trying to drive me home because I was fucked up, I told her no.

Then I don't remember anything until the next morning.”

Oakley stares at me as I speak, horror and disbelief flashing over her features as the words spill out. Once I start talking, I can't seem to stop, and I crumple down onto the edge of my bed. My hair is still wet when I tug at it in frustration, shaking my head.

“I woke up naked in bed with her,” I admit sullenly. “I don't remember anything from that night, but I was sober when I woke up next to her.”

“But you didn't fuck her, right?”

Oakley’s voice trembles as she grasps at straws, hoping for redemption. I've made sure to give her everything I can my whole life, but this isn't something I can manage.

“Put two and two together, Oakley. You're not a little kid. Just because I don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen.”

The words taste bitter, acrid in my throat, and my eyes water at saying them aloud. This is the first time I've really admitted what happened, and it feels so much worse than I thought it would. There's an empty, gnawing pit in my gut. I want to fall headfirst into it.

“Don't patronize me, you dick,” Oakley snaps. “You're the one who was stupid enough to fall into one of her little traps. After everything she's done to me, after what her uncle did to our family, you still couldn't keep it in your fucking pants?”

“I'm not fucking proud of it!”

My anger explodes, and I shove up from the bed to pace furiously from wall to wall.

I feel so helpless and small, stifled, like I'm stuffed into a cage and the bars are crushing in against me.

I want to lash out at something, to pin the blame somewhere other than myself, but there's nowhere else to turn.

I'm the one who fucked up.

I'm the one who has to live with the consequences.

I keep my back turned to Oakley as I struggle to get my breathing under control. Tears burn hot on my cheeks, and I wipe at them furiously with the back of my hand. I don't deserve to cry over this.

“I know I fucked up.” My voice sounds hollow, ragged at the edges and desperate for some hope to hold onto.

“I betrayed you, and everyone else, and I'm sorry.

I don't expect forgiveness. I'm going to tell Mom and Dad tonight, and then I'll pack my stuff up and find somewhere to rent. I'm not going to make this anybody’s problem but my own, but I have to take responsibility.”

Oakley is quiet for several long seconds, tension building unpleasantly in my shoulders. She sighs, and I hear footsteps approach me. I kind of expect her to hit me, or maybe I just hope she will because I deserve it.

It feels so much worse when her slim arms wrap around my waist.

A sob tears from my chest at the tender gesture, and I hang my head in shame. This is probably goodbye, then. If only I could've learned my lesson without losing my family.

“Don't tell them yet.”

I startle at the sound of her voice, muffled against my back as she holds me tightly. Confusion wraps its way around my spine as I try to make sense of why she'd say that, but she keeps talking before I can puzzle it out.

“You said she gave you a week, right?”

I nod slowly and make a low noise of agreement.

“Something isn't right, Bo.” Her voice is still soft, but that undercurrent of steel is back. “I just… I don't know if I don't want to believe it or if I can just tell that something’s off, but I don't trust this. She has to be lying.”

I want to agree. I want to believe Oakley’s words so badly, but what would Savannah get out of having a child with me? Sure, we know now that the Wards have been trying to worm their way into the family, but there has to be an easier way.

Savannah may be the closest thing to evil I've ever met, but I have a hard time believing she'd use a child as leverage to get what she wants. Besides, that look of fear in her eyes was far too close to what I've been feeling myself to be fake.

“Just give me a few days to figure something out,” Oakley says, pulling back from me. “I'm positive she's up to something. Give me some time to prove it.”

My back feels cold without her pressed against it, and I turn slowly to face her again. The tears on her cheeks match the ones on mine. She looks solemn, but determined, a far cry from the desolate hopelessness hollowing me out.

It's not like I want this to be true, and I certainly don't want to lose my family over a stupid mistake.

I got drunk and ruined my life. I have to take responsibility for my own actions.

My parents will expect me to marry Savannah and be a good father, and there won't be any other choice.

Kenzie will move on, and I'll think of her every single day for the rest of my life and wish things were different.

Wishing doesn't change reality.

“We’re going to get down to the bottom of this, alright?” Oakley asks, her voice gentler now. “We’ll find out what's really going on.”

I feel bad that my little sister is taking care of me like this, but what else am I supposed to do?

I'm terrified that her search for truth will uncover something none of us want to hear—that Savannah is already being honest. All there is to do now is wait and see, I guess. If anyone can find something to save me from this, it's Oakley.

Hope is all I have.