Page 22 of Tempting Bo (Montgomery Dreams #2)

BO

Everything is a mess.

It’s scary to say everything is ruined, but that’s probably closer to the truth of it.

I never stopped to think about just how much I was hurting Kenzie, too wrapped up in my own worries.

I just assumed that if I could figure out a solution to the Savannah problem, everything else would fall into place.

I was wrong.

The thing with Savannah wasn’t the problem—I was. I am .

And I have no fucking clue how to fix that.

Everything Kenzie said was right. It’s been easy to be a coward my whole life, do nothing but go with the flow. Oakley was always the bull-headed one who disobeyed Mom and Dad.

I haven’t had anything that I cared about enough to fight for it.

Kenzie is the only person who’s ever made me look at my own actions like this, the only person who expects me to stand up and be better. She wants me to be better for myself, too, not just for her. My heart breaks every time I remember the look in her eyes when she asked me to leave.

I left that night because what else was I to do? After stewing on it for the last two days, I can’t just give up.

I’ve loved Kenzie since the first time I laid eyes on her, turning into a bumbling idiot every time my little sister’s friend came around.

When I finally got the chance to be alone with her, I was so damn nervous I thought I’d throw up.

Since then, I contented myself with being her friend, certain she’d never want anything more with me.

But part of it was exactly what kenzie said—I was popular, and people expected me to date the cheerleaders.

I compromised by not dating anyone. I thought that was close enough to making my own decision to count, but it was just more proof of my cowardice.

Now, I know without a doubt that Kenzie is the most important thing in my life.

I just have to prove it.

She’s been on the farm for several hours with the kids from her after school program, and I’m just lingering on the periphery, waiting for her to wrap things up. I just need a second to talk to her, to convince her to listen.

She hasn’t looked at me once.

It hurts more than I’d like to admit.

Just as the kids gather around Kenzie to wrap up the evening’s tasks, my dad wanders into the barn and makes a beeline toward me. I don’t want to talk to him, not right now, but I don’t have a good excuse to avoid him.

Hopefully, I can make it quick so I don’t miss my chance to talk to Kenzie.

“Your mother wanted me to let you know she and Oakley made a plan to get proof from Savannah,” he says without preamble.

My attention immediately shifts fully to him. If he has something to say that’ll change the scope of things, I want Kenzie to know too.

“Whatever they came up with, I’m in,” I say.

“They’re going to schedule an ultrasound appointment and surprise Savannah and her mother with it.

” He sounds a little annoyed and a little hopeful, but I know he’s just not good at talking about this kind of stuff.

He’s not great with emotions in general.

“Oakley seems certain the ultrasound won’t show anything, and Hailey’s already gotten in contact with our lawyer about legal action we can take to keep the Wards away from us. ”

My heart soars at the news. This means I’ll have proof of Savannah’s lies, and I’ll be able to keep her away from Kenzie and me. It still leaves the issue of fixing all the hurt I’ve caused, but that’ll be easier to do without Savannah sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong every five seconds.

“That’s great! That’s perfect. Thanks, Dad.”

I knew I could count on Oakley. I’ll have to thank her properly after this is all said and done.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he says gruffly. “Until there’s proof that she’s lying, I’m going to assume she’s not. If the ultrasound shows that she’s pregnant and the timeline lines up, you’re still going to have to buck up and be a man, Boden.”

I blink at him, my hope crashing and dissolving into disappointment.

Even after all this, he doesn’t understand.

He still thinks that I’m clinging to chances, that I’m hoping against hope that things will work out my way.

He doesn’t realize that I’ve already decided how things are going to go for me, regardless of what else happens.

I stare at him, at this man who I’ve let control my entire life, and I just… I don’t fucking care anymore. I can’t bring myself to be angry with him, but I also can’t waste time having the same conversations with him. He’s a man who understands actions, not words.

Dad hasn’t ever pushed his expectations on me out of malice, but he doesn’t understand just how much I’ve been stifled. He has no idea how often I’ve made decisions based on what he expected of me, on what everyone expected of me.

Part of me, the tired part of me, wants to just fold like I always do under pressure.

Accept what’s said at face value and don’t make a scene, even if I’ve made up my own mind this time.

But there’s something else tugging at my brain stem this time.

The part of me that hasn’t been able to stop looking at Kenzie no matter how badly it hurts, the part that screams in agony every time she avoids my gaze.

That’s the part that takes hold of the reins as I finally look my dad in the eyes.

“I don’t care either way,” I say bluntly.

Color rises on my dad’s cheeks, that familiar anger at being defied flashing in his eyes. It doesn’t bother me anymore.

“Now, I’ve had about enough of?—”

“Yeah, I’m sure you have.” I sound tired when I cut him off, weary beyond my years, but I think it’s the unbending certainty filling my whole body that stops him in his tracks.

“But I don’t care, Dad. I don’t care about anyone’s opinion but my own.

This is my life. I’m not going to keep following someone else’s choices, whether it’s you or Savannah trying to make them. ”

He stares at me in shock, bushy brows rising at my nonchalant tone, but I’m not a teenager anymore. I’m won’t speak to him like I’m scared of losing my allowance. I’ll speak to him like I’m scared of losing the woman I love, and like he’s standing in the way.

“I’m not saying that I’m running away from it.

Whatever the ultrasound says, I’ll take responsibility for my actions,” I say before he can start ranting.

“I won’t let my child grow up without being taken care of, but I won’t have anything to do with Savannah.

Kenzie is the only woman I’ll ever marry, and she’s the only woman I’ll ever be with, no matter what you have to say about it.

If me doing the respectable thing is more important to you than me ever having a chance at happiness, you can disown me for all I care. ”

My tone is level in an attempt to keep our conversation from reaching anyone else, but I don’t allow an ounce of uncertainty to creep into my voice. The kids are all piling into their parent’s cars as Kenzie’s after school program winds down, and I’d rather not expose them to my private life.

Dad doesn’t seem to have such reservations.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, boy?” he bellows.

Several of the kids turn to glance our way in my periphery, but getting my dad to understand is more important than my privacy right now. Kenzie’s already climbing into her sedan, and I can’t let her go again. Even if I have to chase her down to her apartment, I’m not walking away this time.

“I’m talking to you , Dad,” I say wearily. “I’m talking to you and hoping that you’ll decide your son is more important than your reputation. But if that’s not how it’s going to go, I have things I need to do.”

I need to talk to Kenzie. I need to apologize. I need to make the only thing that matters in my life right again.

Everything else can wait.

“How dare you turn your back on me?” my dad roars as I walk away. “You can’t walk away from this family, Boden!”

Kenzie’s car is already halfway down the driveway. Goddamnit.

I pull my keys out of my pocket and head straight for my truck as my dad yells behind me. I don’t look back as Mom’s voice join the fray, trying to calm him down and figure out what happened.

I already told him, I have important things to do.

Like get my girl back.

The drive to her apartment is silent. The radio stays off, but my blood pounds in my skull, too loud for me to even hear the rumble of my tires over the road. Too loud to hear myself think.

I don't know what I'm going to say when I get there.

I don't know if she'll listen to me.

But I have to try. The hard part’s already out of the way.

I park in the spot I always do, right next to her neat little sedan in front of her apartment. My legs shake as I step out of my truck, and the whole world feels jittery right now. What’s a few wobbly steps to add to it?

I hardly hear my own knocking on her door, and if it wasn’t for the way my knuckles sting from the force, I would worry I’m being too quiet.

Everything rushes right back into focus when the door swings open.

And there she is.

Red curls and long lashes and bright green eyes shadowed by uncertainty. Dainty fingers twisting one of her rings in the same nervous tic she's had since we were in school. I wonder if she can see a physical change in me, if I stand straighter or hold my chin a little higher.

I wonder if she can see how much I love her.

“I told my dad to fuck off,” I say in lieu of greeting.

The carefully distant mask on Kenzie’s face slips as my words startle a laugh out of her.

She looks just as surprised to be laughing as she does about my announcement. Her eyes aren't puffy today, so I can hope that she hasn't been crying, but I've got plenty of tears to make up for.

“Can I come in?” I’m almost scared to ask, scared she’ll shut the door in my face, but I'm not running from my fears anymore. I'm facing them head on. “I don't expect you to forgive me. I just want to tell you what I'm going to do to try to make things right between us.”