Page 10 of Tempt Me

Why did college students only think about sex? Well fuck, who was I to judge.

“Now it’s a party, dude! All right.”

Drowning out the noise, I took the incapacitated girl into the bedroom and tossed her on the beanbag on the floor at the end of my bed.

When would my life fucking matter?

My anger pooled into my gut, the hatred and self-loathing eating away any other emotion. When I found who killed her…

My daughter’s beautiful eyes haunted my memory again and again. No matter how hard I tried to block them out, they were always there. Watching me. Seeing me fail. I still hadn’t found Xenia’s killer. A whole fucking year of pointless living and still not so much as a single clue.

Fury fueling my actions, I picked up my cell, smashing into the keypad, the only person I needed to hear from.

“Did you find anything?” I said before I even let him say a greeting.

I could hear Quinn sigh on the other end, and I didn’t wait to be told how useless he and all the fucking cops were for the hundredth time. I just threw my fucking phone at the wall.

I flipped the girl over to her side so she didn’t die in the damn room and left the key on the nightstand by her so when she woke up, she’d take her drunk ass and go.

Throwing on a hoodie and pants for the chill that came with the night, I crawled out the window and down the fire escape.

Yet again, I would do it myself. I’d track this son of a bitch down until the day I died, and when I found them, they’d better hope they kill me.

The cemetery at night was always calmer than the rush of the morning. It felt peaceful even. I came here when I needed to think, clear my head, or just fucking scream.

The night trapped the sound like it was accepting of it. You could scream for hours out here, but no one but the dead heard. I would know. This past year I had screamed myself hoarse on my damn knees and then screamed some more.

The thing about strength is to know what the bottom becomes so that when you do manage to crawl your ass back to the top, you know how big of a hole you had to claw up from to get there.

The question was, how did you not fall back deeper when you reached it?

“Hi, Daddy.”

I jolted backward, my ass velcroing to the ground. The haunting melody of her voice was strong. I’d heard it for a while now, and her sweet greeting gave me some comfort.

“Hi, Xeny bug,” I said back to the air around me.

I dusted off the gravestone. Her beautiful name was written in big letters alongside her mother’s.

“I miss you, Daddy. It’ll be okay.”

I tried to smile. In case her spirit could see my wallowing ass sitting on her grave.

“I know, Little Flower. It’ll all be okay when I find them.”

I reached into my pocket, bringing her little drawing out. Those stick figures were my only peace for so long.

“Daddy?”

Her voice sounded clear, not the song-like echo I was used to hearing. Confused, I spun around. Standing beside me in the sunflower dress from before was Xenia Lynn Masters.

“Hi, Daddy,” she repeated, twirling that dress around and smiling.

Well, I’d finally lost my goddamn mind.

“Hi, Little Flower. It’s nice to see you, pretty girl.”

She smiled and jumped up and down, her springy dark curls bouncing with her movements.