Page 38

Madness: The state of being mentally ill, especially severely.

C an I survive frenzy inside me?

My brother was driving like a madman. I wasn’t told shit. I was lucky they allowed me to be in the car. Randall was holding Judas’s head up even when he gazed up from the glass with a lolled, dazed look on his face. The gentleness that burly log had with Judie was…interesting.

“Road trip, Larry,” Judas said in a quiet, monotone voice.

“Boys, there is shit going down. Everyone is cracked nuts right now, but you need to get it fucking together. Our sister is in trouble and…Fallon.”

I jerked forward, gripping Goliath on his bicep.

“Man, back the fuck up. She is alive. That asshole found her at the cabin,” Goliath turned the wheel of the SUV a bit too hard, but I didn’t care. I waited for him to tell the rest of the story.

“Tal was shot.”

We could see the sirens and lights speeding on the hill toward the direction of the cabin. We were only a few miles away.

Fallon…

If I had killed that fucker when I had a chance, this wouldn’t be happening. She was supposed to be safe. Lith told me he had moved her to keep her safe. I stayed away to give her space to heal and time for myself to hunt that fucker…but he hunted her.

“Step on it,” I demanded.

The SUV jerked forward, and we drew closer and closer to the cabin’s location. As soon as I had Fallon in my fucking arms, I was never letting that damn girl go.

“Roe, there’s something you need to know.”

I growled at my brother. “What.”

Why the fuck was he keeping shit from me?

“Your girl…she…she lost the baby. I am so sorry, man.”

I looked at my brother, trying to decipher if I heard him right.

Fallon was pregnant?

“It’s not mine. That monster made her lose his own kid.”

Lith processed that and turned back to the wheel.

“Rock-a-bye-baby…on the…” Judas sang because he was off again in his own world.

Both Goliath and I were shocked when Randall started humming with him. I turned around while Lith stared at him in the mirror.

“What?” he said, turning away and ignoring us.

Had Judas found a man who wouldn’t try to quiet the voices…but become them?

How did you reach a man that lived in his mind?

“It’s okay, Little Chip. Just lay down your head like the baby in the song. We will be there soon.”

Judas looked around, confused. “Where is Larry?”

Exchanging a look with Goliath, we both shrugged. “Maybe he needed a nap, Judes. Just get some sleep.”

Taliah had to be okay. She was a tough mother fucker and often rivaled even us.

She practically raised our dumb-asses, and that was triple trouble.

I would never be able to repay her debt when she kept Xenia safe all those years until I led the monster right to her doorstep.

Maybe if I saved her from my girlfriend’s psycho ex, we would be slightly even.

Please be safe, Little Voyeur.

We drove the rest of the way to the cabin in silence. It was daunting, and every minute in the car was helpless. I hated being unable to know what was fucking happening.

“Shit.”

I followed my brother’s gaze. Cops were all over the property, and a fire truck and an ambulance were included in the entourage. Quinn was leading the parties, but…they looked angry and concerned. No one was inside the ambulance and cops were walking canine units over by the side of the woods.

“What the fuck is going on?”

I didn’t bother waiting for Lith to stop the car. I opened my door and jumped out. Catching myself before I stumbled, I ran straight to Quinn.

“Micah. What happened? Where’s my sister? Where…”

Wheeze.

“Is.”

Cough.

“Fallon?”

The cop, with a kinder heart than anyone I’d ever met, looked defeated. My stomach filled with dread, and I prayed that I wasn’t about to live through another fucking nightmare that entailed cops, paramedics, and death again.

“Please,” I said. Whether I was speaking to Micah, myself, or a clearly spiteful god, I didn’t know.

Micah sighed. “Roe, I am not going to bullshit you. It is bad, man. You need to prepare yourself.”

I swallowed, nodding my head for him to continue.

“We found blood trails leading into the woods. There is DNA linking all three of them. We can’t assess any of the injuries, and we can’t find them. There’s a heavy storm warning, and the dogs can’t pick up their scents either because everything is changing. We’re trying, brother. I promise you…”

I looked down on the ground. “But?”

Quinn sighed again, reaching forward to give me a comforting shoulder squeeze.

“But you need to prepare for…”

I let the tears fall. The amount I fucking cried had me rivaling the damn babies at the hospital. I couldn’t hear this.

“I left her. It was supposed to break the fucking curse! Why Quinn? Why isn’t she okay? Why wasn’t she spared?”

Quinn held my arm as I slowly lowered to the ground.

I saw in the corner of my eye the blood trail. I had to find her. I had to find her and throw that asshole that hurt her off the cliff behind these woods. If I could only give her this and nothing else, I would find her…

But…

Will it be to hold her in my arms again…

Or to bury her?

We searched for hours. The rain was pouring down now, and the wind was so strong it was making the dirt cling to us in a sticky, caked-on layer.

“Roe.” Quinn was beside me, shining his flashlight into another section of trees. They found something.

I swallowed and nodded for him to continue.

“The blood trail…It ended.”

I looked at him in confusion, shining my own flashlight onto the ground where the red tints were fading as we continued further into the deep forest. The winding trees were so thick that they seemed to absorb every sound of the crackling thunder around us.

“They found gunpowder over that way and a match. I don’t know your sister, but that could be used as a cauterization tool in the army. Emergency situations call for…painful solutions to preserve one’s life.”

I wiped off my face from the dirt, sweat, and rainwater. Taliah was resourceful, and pain hardly bothered her. It was a miracle that, based on the blood amounts that had been identified to be hers, she was even alive. There were no bodies and no sounds in the dark forest.

Nothing.

It made it harder to accept. There should be sounds of a struggle or cracking twigs from someone running. It couldn’t just be this fucking silence. We needed something to go on. Taliah and Fallon were a blip on a huge radar.

We would never find them.

The helicopter over our heads was our only hope, but with the tree coverage and the number of bodies on foot, it was a slim chance.

“Where are you, Little Voyeur,” I whispered into the darkness.

Judas, Randall, and Goliath were close by. Quinn got a call on his radio about more gunpowder residue.

“Quinn, I got my brothers. Go over to your team. Find my sister.”

Micah looked hesitant to leave us alone, but finally, Lith convinced him. He had a gun in his hand.

I reached out for the weapon, giving my eldest brother a look. “I have to do this, Lith. This isn’t your fight, man. Don’t you take this away from me. He took away Ariah. He has to know who killed Xenia. I have to do this.”

Goliath hesitated.

“Lith, come on,” I said, forcing him to look me in the eye.

“You can’t take this from me. You can’t always shield me from what’s going to happen.

I was called a monster for all those years.

I am not the innocent man that was put behind those bars.

I may have been a good man back then…but the asylum changed everything.

Losing Ariah and Xenia took any light I had.

If I lose Fallon too …I will never fucking forgive you. ”

My words trailed off, and I reached out and took the gun from my triplet’s hand.

“I am already the monster, whether you try to pretend or not. I will kill him. You can’t save me.”

Judas and Randall came up to us. They likely spotted the tension but knew better than to say anything. It reminded me of that night Joe was killed. The only difference was that Randall joined the party, and I was the one with the metal in my hand.

“Where, oh, where are you?” Judas said, peering behind our backs. Whatever imaginary friend he lost track of, we had shit to do.

“Roe. The force has combed these woods for hours. I am not sure they’re going to find them tonight. Maybe we should head back.”

I yanked my arm away from Randall’s outstretched hand.

“You wanna run? Fine. Go for it. I am not leaving until I find my woman, my sister, and kill that monster. Quinn can wait outside with my handcuffs. I don’t care anymore.”

Randall sighed and walked forward deeper into the woods. Judas followed him on the sort of leash that Randall had linked him to—those boys were a fucking mess.

“Lith… If you need to go back, I understand. You have a house of crazies to rally. I can’t leave.”

Goliath shook his head. “I let Zee know to keep everyone in check. I am not leaving until this is over…one way or another.”

I swallowed. I realized there was a scenario where I wouldn’t find Fallon and my sister alive, but I couldn’t think like that. It wasn’t going to help anyone.

They have to be okay…

The dark forest crackled with the lightning, and I took a minute to get my bearings. We were nearly at the cliff that led to nothing but fucking death. The perimeter where they could run was thinning.

I will have my answers soon.

“Hey, boys! Looky looky. We hear something, don’t we, Larry? Where are you, Larry? You naughty minx, stop hiding from me, asshole.”

I picked up my pace and headed to where my brother was skipping around near a tree. Randall had a knife poised in the direction of…laughter.

“Fallon! Taliah!” I yelled, pushing past my brother and heading toward the sound.

The cliff came into view, the drop leading into the rapids below. We used to throw all kinds of shit off this ledge as kids, never really knowing where it led. It made me sick to think I may have to find the path of the river…to find a body.

“Tal? Little Voyeur? Where are you?”