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Love: Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

W hy did I have to love him?

That asshole fucking left.

He walked out of the door and, subsequently, my life without even the decency to look at me when he ran away. I rocked Xavier. His cries rivaled my own. I couldn’t pick up the pieces of this little guy any more than I could fix myself.

Pharaoh didn’t hurt his family.

He buried his soul when he buried them. He said himself that every ounce of love was snuffed out the moment their lives were extinguished. Maybe if I could just find who killed them, I could at least give him the peace he deserved, even if he rejected me.

He was never mine. I was betrothed to a monster, and would be forced to live the life of a broken housewife until death finally let me sleep.

No.

I had to find out what happened to Ariah and Xenia. Maybe in the process of saving my professor’s soul, I could save mine, too.

As if summoned by my thoughts, the door to the room was shoved open. I hoped it was Pharaoh coming to grovel for being a clueless asshole, but instead it was Ferdinand.

“What are you doing with that thing, Pet?” he said, walking up and grimacing at Xavier. “I had to cut my business trip short because of all this buzz of a serial killer. I mean, honestly, what kind of media gives such a talented killer a name like a funeral director?”

I sighed. “I don’t know, dear.”

“It is insulting to the cunning of this individual. They clearly take their time in presenting their kills in such a fashion. To be demeaned by such trivial civil service workers is blasphemy!”

I watched my fiancé with unease. He was very heated by the media and this murderer. His skin practically smoked with his anger.

I positioned my body to protect Xavier in case Ferdinand’s hands wandered in his rage. I was used to him using me as his literal punching bag when he was upset.

“I’m not sure, Ferdinand,” I said, trying to put a calming infusion into my tone.

It was the way I spoke to Xavier. Ferdinand either didn’t notice or gave a fuck that I had tears staining my cheeks and my makeup was smeared all over my face. Either way, he was too upset with the stupid ass news.

“It is very classless to kill in a graveyard. I mean, hypothetically, why would a killer choose to eliminate the steps of cleanup? Do they not enjoy the hunt? The blood?”

I swallowed loudly. I felt uncomfortable. Ferdinand was always a huge crime junkie with podcasts and TV shows, but he never spoke this way…like he was angry at the killer not for killing but for being less cunning about ‘the how’s’ than he would be.

“I need to get Xavier back to sleep. Can I meet you in the lobby? That woman was his mother, who died in the graveyard. It’s rude to talk about her like she is just some random fucking stranger.”

I bit my tongue, setting Xavier down in the crib while hearing Ferdinand walk over to me. I barely turned around before his backhand knocked me into the crib and disturbed the calm baby inside. I kept my eyes down on the tiled floor. Ferdinand turned his wrath onto me.

“How dare you speak to me like that. You curse at your husband? What mouth are you using? That is the mouth of a whore, not my wife.”

I let the blood drip into the grooved tiles. I barely felt the burn.

Ferdinand yanked me from the ground and held me by the crook of my elbow, throwing me over a medical cart. I tried to keep my breathing even, resisting the urge to speak because he was past the point of listening to anything I had to say.

He yanked my pants down, and the cold feeling of the metal cart bit into my legs.

He wasn’t gentle, and there was no warm-up for the invasion.

I could hear Xavier crying in the background, his little ears startled by the sounds of objects falling to the ground from Ferdinand’s cruelty.

I found myself looking over to the door, watching my reflection as I was thrown back and forth.

Through my tears, I sang softly. I told myself it was for Xavier, but it was for me too. The beautiful lyrics of “Tennessee Whiskey” gave me a sense of calm, allowing me to succumb to the numbness and wait for Ferdinand to use me to his own end.

His anger was worse than it had ever been. I could feel the heat of the blood dripping down my thighs, and that internal burn made me feel like I was on fire. I kept singing. My body was shaking, and my soul was breaking.

Where was the hospital staff? Couldn’t they hear this? Please, someone save Xavier…someone save me.

The brutality continued, and I was no longer numb. This was an inferno. I tried to adjust, attempting to get away from him. He punched my spine, and I fell forward. The shock of the new pain made me focus on that rather than the burning inside me.

Desperate for an escape, I attempted once again to get up. This time, Ferdinand threw me onto the ground and flipped me over, slamming into my body using the blood as a lubricant.

At least it wasn’t as dry.

“Please…Stop.” I heard the whispered plea and barely recognized my own voice.

“Shut the fuck up, you dirty, disappointing whore. You are only good for one thing, but you fail me even in this area.” He laughed, and the sound was cruel. His eyes sparkled with that dark humor inside him as he leaned into me and gripped my cheeks. “Then I will simply have to kill you, Fallon.”

He let go of my face, and my head bounced off the hard-tiled ground. I felt dizzy, black spots replacing his brutal smile. I needed to shut up, so he left Xavier alone. If I could just be quiet, he would be finished soon.