Page 37 of Take the Lead

M y legs start to ache before I’m even halfway through the next day’s cha-cha rehearsal. The footwork is so fast and the timing is really hard to grasp. The thought of an ice bath has always filled me with horror, but I’m starting to wonder if I might need one if I’m going to survive the week.

‘I am pushing you quite hard,’ Aleksis admits. ‘We could do a slower, easier version, but I know you can do this and it will look so much better this way.’

He promises we’ll do a longer stretching session at the end of the day.

From time to time my concentration slips when I glimpse my suitcase in the corner of the studio.

It gives me that flash of excitement that always comes before a holiday.

I know I’m not going to a fancy hotel in the Caribbean, but I can’t wait to see what his apartment looks like and keep wondering how it will feel being there.

Will it make us feel more like a couple?

Do I want us to feel more like a couple?

Aleksis politely suggests that I keep my eyes on my reflection in the mirror, to help me focus and so I can see when my posture and positioning are just right.

And watching myself makes me realise what a long way I’ve come since the start of the competition.

Six-weeks-ago-Kate was like a gawky teenager compared to how I look now.

Seeing how much I’ve improved makes my confidence soar.

True to his word, at the end of the session Aleksis makes sure every muscle is properly stretched out before we make the journey to Channel 6. Even so, I’m relieved when we manage to get a seat on the Tube. Sitting down for fifteen minutes feels like bliss.

It doesn’t last, though. Before we reach Hammersmith, we find ourselves in an impromptu photoshoot thanks to a mum who recognises us and asks if she can take a photo of us with her daughters.

It attracts the attention of the other passengers in our carriage and soon there’s a queue of people wanting their picture taken with us.

I don’t think half of them even know who we are, they just don’t want to risk missing out.

We’re still laughing about it when we arrive at Channel 6. It was a brief but welcome reprieve from my growing anxiety about seeing Merle again after what he said to me on Sunday – and Liam, now his true colours have been revealed.

As soon as we walk into the reception room, Liam is out of his chair and heading towards me, but Aleksis holds a hand up in warning and Liam stops in his tracks. It makes me like Aleksis even more.

‘Are you okay?’ Beth asks when I join her and Tammy. ‘This must be so awkward.’

‘As long as I pretend it never happened, I can just about deal with it,’ I assure them.

Beth squeezes my arm. ‘We’re both here for you.’

I tell them I appreciate it, then Olivia announces that now everyone is present we can head to the studio and get started.

To my surprise, I don’t let either Liam or Merle get to me for the first hour or so of the rehearsal.

I keep reminding myself that I’m strong and I can rise above whatever has come before.

Liam does say sorry the first time we’re paired together, but I ignore him.

I’m determined not to let my anger bubble up to the surface.

It helps that I’m only with him for a few seconds at a time before I’m passed to the next dancer, so he can’t say anything more.

I’m feeling pretty pleased with myself by the time we stop for a drink break – but just when I’m silently congratulating myself for my maturity, all hell breaks loose. It starts when Liam tries to approach me again.

‘We have to talk about this, Kate,’ he says, blocking my path this time so I can’t dodge him.

‘I want to apologise. I know what I did was wrong and I want to make it up to you. I wasn’t thinking straight at the time and I’ve been feeling awful ever since.

I’ve been wanting to say something ever since it happened, but I didn’t know how.

‘Now you know, I just want to make it right. I want to give you the money they paid me for the photos. It was a lot – two thousand pounds. You should have it, it should be yours. You’re right, I should have found another way to get my gym. I don’t want it to be founded out of this.’

‘Five,’ I say sharply.

His face blanches. ‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Five thousand.’ I poke him in the chest to emphasise each word. ‘You’re not trying to make it right, you’re trying to make yourself feel better and keep some cash for yourself. You really are disgusting.’

His demeanour changes from earnest to affronted. ‘I’m trying to say sorry.’

‘You’re trying to make yourself look like less of a shit,’ I snap.

‘You’re hardly perfect yourself,’ Liam fires back, losing his temper. ‘What kind of person sleeps with a married man just to win a dance show?’

‘Fuck you!’ I yell, aware that everyone is looking at us now.

Then Aleksis pushes himself between us. ‘I think you should walk away now,’ he warns Liam.

‘Or what?’ Liam gives him a shove as I jump out of the way.

Gabriel and Elijah rush over as they square up to each other, and Merle takes my arm and pulls me further away.

‘Kate,’ he says, concern in his voice. ‘What’s going on? Are you okay?’

‘It’s nothing,’ I reply, not wanting to talk to him, of all people, about the leaked photos.

But my body is shaking with fury – as well as shock at how quickly things have escalated – and I want nothing more than to get away from the sound of Gabriel begging Liam and Aleksis to calm down on the other side of the room.

So when Merle suggests we step outside for a moment, to take a breather until whatever it is blows over, I don’t even question it. I follow him just to get away from the tension in the studio, from the shock of screaming profanities in someone’s face for the first time in my life.

I let him lead me to his dressing room, as if in a daze, and when he’s closed the door behind us and turned to face me, I simply stand there as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

He doesn’t say anything, he just looks me straight in the eye and I stare back at him, almost willing him to make this nightmare go away.

And then suddenly we’re kissing and I can finally forget about the drama down the corridor, about the photos, about Liam throwing me to the wolves, about Aleksis, about having to keep up appearances, about pushing myself to my limits, about absolutely everything.

It’s not until Merle starts rolling my top up that I snap myself back out of it.

‘Stop!’ I gasp. ‘Stop! We shouldn’t be doing this. God, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have come in here. We need to stop.’

‘Even if we both want it?’ he says, his voice thick with desire. ‘I want you, Kate. I’ve always wanted you.’

I feel like I’m on fire – my body’s crying out to be seduced – but I manage to stay in control.

‘No, Merle.’ I shake my head and push him away. ‘I’m moving in with Aleksis tonight. This can’t happen again.’

Then I dash from the room, praying nobody sees me and jumps to the wrong – or even the right – conclusion.

The concerned look on Aleksis’s face when I walk back into the studio makes me feel terrible. Liam is on the opposite side of the room, getting a talking-to from Beth and Tammy.

‘I’m sorry,’ I apologise to Aleksis. ‘That shouldn’t have happened.’

I know he’ll assume I mean the confrontation with Liam, even if it’s not what I’m referring to.

He puts his hand on my arm. ‘It’s understandable. Are you okay to continue?’

Our eyes meet and I can see from the worry etched on his face that he genuinely cares. The realisation makes me feel even worse about kissing Merle. Even though we’re not a real couple I feel like I’ve cheated on him – and worse still, at a time when he was trying to defend me.

I silently kick myself for allowing Merle to exploit the situation – I have no doubt he knew exactly what he was doing when he took me to his dressing room. I’m not saying I played no part in it, but I just wasn’t thinking straight.

And now I can’t stop wondering what it means for me and Aleksis.

If he found out, I don’t doubt it would spell the end for our arrangement.

And given how desperately I don’t want that to happen, I think what that probably means is that I’m no longer going to have to try so hard to convince people I have feelings for him.

But now’s hardly the time to start thinking I might like him for real.

‘I’m fine,’ I tell him, doing my best to keep my voice even. ‘I just needed to let it all out, I think. But what about you? I really am sorry you got dragged into it.’

‘All good here,’ he assures me. ‘Liam has apologised to me. He doesn’t want to cause any more trouble.’

‘Shame he didn’t feel that way two weeks ago,’ I mutter bitterly.

‘Right, can we get back to it now?’ Ros directs the question to the whole room. ‘Everybody ready? Everyone calm now?’

There’s a chorus of yeses and we get back into our circle. Aleksis gives me an encouraging smile as the music starts up again and I offer a weak smile back to disguise my guilt.

Merle sneaks me knowing looks for the remainder of the rehearsal and lets his hands linger on me longer than necessary whenever we pass each other in the rueda, but I don’t rise to it.

Liam avoids eye contact with me altogether, while Beth and Tammy fire a few curious glances my way, which I pretend not to notice.

Emilia doesn’t wipe the scowl off her face all evening and I wonder if she can guess what Merle and I have done.

But I tell myself she can’t possibly know.

When Ros announces we’re done for the day, I can’t get away from everyone fast enough.

I grab my suitcase and race for the door, telling Aleksis I’ll wait for him outside.

I don’t want either Merle or Liam to corner me again and I don’t feel like answering any questions from Beth or Tammy.

I’m not sure I trust myself with the answers.

Why, why, why did I go to Merle’s changing room with him? I must have known what would happen. I’m furious with myself for my moment of weakness, for letting him think he had the upper hand – and for letting Aleksis down.

I take deep breaths and try to force it out of my mind. I don’t want Aleksis to realise there’s anything wrong, and I need to psych myself up for seeing Sofiya when we get to his apartment. I’d die if she ever got wind of what just happened. If she even suspected it.

‘That was eventful,’ Aleksis says, when he finally catches me up.

‘I just want to get out of here,’ I reply. I want to forget the whole evening ever happened.

‘I’ll book an Uber,’ he says. ‘It’s too late to be messing around with Tubes.’

I force a smile onto my face, but I’m not sure it reaches my eyes. A feeling of wretchedness hangs over me for the whole journey, until Aleksis tells me we’re turning onto his road.

‘Here we are,’ he says brightly, as we pull up outside a grand red-brick mansion block that looks like something out of a period drama. Sofiya is on the doorstep and waves her camera in the air by way of greeting.

‘You live here?’ I ask, staring at the giant windows and manicured flower beds.

‘I do.’

And I’m not surprised he says it with a grin. I finally stop brooding about Liam and Merle and focus on the task at hand. I need to pull myself together pronto if we’re going to make this look convincing.

Aleksis helps by draping his arm round my shoulders as we walk to the front door. It feels so familiar there now that I manage to relax as Sofiya snaps away. Then the door is opened and we’re inside possibly the nicest apartment I’ve ever seen.

‘Wow!’ I gawp open-mouthed at the vast living space with giant works of art on the wall. ‘This is not what I expected at all.’

There’s a plush four-seater sofa, deep pile rugs, ornate sideboards and a huge modern chandelier hanging from the ceiling. I slowly spin round to take it all in.

‘What did you expect?’ Aleksis asks, sounding amused. ‘A big empty room with a mirrored wall and a barre?’

‘I don’t know – a bit more of a lad pad, I suppose,’ I admit.

‘With a ten-year-old armchair, an Xbox and a projector wall?’

‘Something like that.’

‘Not really my style,’ he says, laughing. ‘Although Sofiya may have had more to do with the decor than me.’

‘It needed updating when our parents moved out,’ she explains. ‘When they moved back to Latvia, they said Aleksis and I could stay here if we wanted to. I was in my own house with Merle by then, so Aleksis got it all to himself. But he definitely needed my help with the decorating.’

‘I don’t think I would have wanted to leave if I lived somewhere like this,’ I tell them. I can just make out an impressively spacious roof terrace through the double doors at the end of the room – my absolute dream.

‘You should see the house in Latvia,’ Sofiya laughs. ‘Right, time for me to get out of your hair. I want to get these pictures edited and sent over to Stella, so she can run them tomorrow.’

Aleksis sees her out then gives me a tour of the rest of the flat, from the large, bright kitchen to the smaller, cosier bedrooms, which each have their own bathroom.

Aleksis has an art deco velvet headboard decorating his bed, and framed black and white photos of dancers on his walls.

The guest room has an elegant wrought iron bed frame and a beautifully restored antique wardrobe.

He puts my suitcase on the bed and says, ‘I’ll leave you to make yourself at home. Come and find me when you’re ready.’

I lie down next to it and close my eyes, wanting just five minutes of peace after the stress of the evening.

But when I open them again, the room is dark and the rest of the flat is silent.

I grope towards my suitcase and retrieve my phone from the side pocket, squinting at the sudden brightness from the screen.

‘It can’t be,’ I whisper, as my eyes grow accustomed to the glow and I discover it’s just after three a.m. I thought I’d be spending my first night here staying up late and chatting to Aleksis, getting to know each other better, not falling asleep without even saying goodnight.

But it will have to wait till breakfast now – Aleksis won’t still be up at this time – so I quietly move my suitcase to the floor, climb back under the covers and go back to sleep until sunrise.