Page 16 of Take the Lead

A leksis stares out of the window in silence as our taxi whisks us off to Brixton. He must be able to tell I keep looking over at him, but he refuses to meet my eye. It makes it impossible to start up any kind of conversation.

It strikes me that he couldn’t be more different to Merle. Where Merle is dark-haired with a Mediterranean tan, Aleksis’s hair is so blond it’s almost white and his skin is as pale as a marble statue. He seems about as cold as one, too.

We eventually pull up outside a nondescript office block that looks ready for demolition and the driver tells us we’ve arrived.

The second-floor studio inside is, as Shane warned, somewhat shabbier than the one I shared with Merle.

The wooden floor is damaged in places and has been patched up with duct tape, and several sections of the mirrored wall have mottled with age.

There’s a battered ballet barre along the back wall, and a crack in the door that looks like it may have been made with an axe. I tell myself it’s got character.

Aleksis surveys the room then dumps his bag in a corner and pulls out his dance shoes. Expecting to be dropped from the show this morning, I didn’t bring mine with me, so I’ll have to dance in my socks.

‘We’ve got the salsa,’ he says – his first words to me. ‘You know the basics?’

I nod.

‘Good, let’s warm up then. Just watch in the mirror and copy everything I do.’

We spend the next few hours going over the footwork he wants me to learn.

First without music, then with, then with arm movements, then again from the beginning, again with sharper turns, and again with more style.

It’s hard to keep up, and I don’t feel like I’m really getting it, but he doesn’t slow down or make any allowances for the fact that I’m still a novice.

And then, midway through the afternoon, he suddenly announces, ‘Okay, we’re done,’ leaving me staring at him from the middle of the dance floor.

‘But it’s only three,’ I point out. ‘There’s still loads more time.’

‘Tomorrow we’ll start partnerwork. We’ll meet here at eleven,’ he says coldly, snatching up his bag and heading for the door without even changing his shoes.

‘But …’

It’s probably a full minute before the shock subsides and I manage to react.

I run to the open door and peer down into the stairwell, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

I go back into the studio and look out of the window, but I can’t see him on the street below.

I check the time on my phone, in case the clock on the wall is wrong, but it really is just three o’clock.

He really has just walked out in the middle of training and I don’t quite know what to do about it.

All I can think is, What the hell is his problem?

For a few minutes longer I remain immobilised.

At first I convince myself he must be pranking me and will come back any minute.

When he doesn’t, I try to go through the steps again on my own in front of the mirror, but my heart’s not in it and I keep looking at the door every five seconds to check if he’s come back.

Eventually I sink to the floor next to my bag and pull my trainers back on, feeling dejected.

Was Aleksis really so annoyed about having to dance with me in this dingy little studio that he couldn’t bear to stay here any longer?

Was he worried I might try it on with him if he stuck around too long?

Maybe he also has a wife and doesn’t want her to think he might follow in Merle’s footsteps.

I reach for my phone and pull up the dressing room photos on the screen yet again.

Those bloody pictures. If it wasn’t for them, none of this would be happening.

I’d be back in the studio with Merle, I probably wouldn’t know he was married and we’d probably be getting up to all sorts. All of which feels preferable to this.

There is absolutely zero chemistry between me and Aleksis. I’d even go so far as to say today’s session has been downright depressing after the excitement of last week. I reckon if I’d been paired with him from the start, it would have been me, not Liam, who was voted out of the show on Saturday.

I’m amazed Aleksis managed to do so well with Emilia. Lucky for him that she’s so talented. I flick to YouTube and search for their performance. I watch it twice, trying to figure out what it is she has that the rest of us don’t. Are you just born a good dancer?

I try to copy one of her moves in the mirror from my position on the floor, but my arms refuse to look how I want them to, which makes me feel even more deflated.

I know I pulled off a presentable kizomba last week, but realistically that came from Merle.

What a fool I was to let anyone make me believe I had any talent.

I drop my head into my hands and sigh through my fingers, feeling stupid and alone.

I can’t help thinking how good Merle and Emilia are going to look together on stage next Saturday. I wonder which dance they’ve got. The more I think about them as partners, the more gutted I am about how things have panned out.

I’m sure Merle could have dragged a decent salsa out of me. I’m sure we would have focused on our partnerwork right from the start rather than the footwork drills Aleksis has fired at me all morning. The truth is, much as I hate what he’s done, I wish I was still dancing with Merle.

With a sigh I grab my bag and head home, where I distract myself with the telly until Lucy gets home from work.

She’s dying to know what the outcome of my meeting with Shane was and I tell her everything.

I know I’m not supposed to mention the partner switch to anyone, but I trust her to keep it secret.

‘So you’re still in the show and you don’t have to dance with that arsehole any more? That’s great!’ she exclaims. Then she clocks my glum expression and narrows her eyes. ‘Only you don’t look like you think it’s so great … What am I missing?’

‘Aleksis absolutely detests me. He walked out halfway through the session,’ I sigh.

She looks alarmed. ‘Why? What did you do?’

‘I didn’t do anything,’ I protest. ‘We were just going over our solo section for the umpteenth time and I thought we were about to move on to something else, but instead he announced we were done and just left.’

I fight back the urge to cry as I recall how hated he made me feel.

‘That’s so weird,’ Lucy frowns.

‘The whole thing was awful,’ I confess. ‘He was so unfriendly and he didn’t make any effort to talk to me. I don’t know how we’re meant to look like we’ve got any kind of connection on the dance floor if this is how he’s going to be with me.’

‘Maybe he just needs a day to get used to the new partnership,’ she suggests. ‘It probably came as a shock to him too, right? I reckon he’ll be fine about it once he’s had time for it to sink in.’

‘I hope you’re right,’ I sigh, but I’m not so optimistic.

‘I think he’s kind of cute,’ she says sheepishly. ‘I thought that at the show on Saturday.’

‘What? Ew!’ I chuck a cushion at her in horror.

‘It’s those eyes. They’re so blue you just want to dive straight into them,’ she laughs. ‘And his body is easily as fit as Merle’s.’

This makes me snort. ‘He’s definitely no Merle.’

‘Even Aiden agreed he was attractive. Speaking of whom, I’m meeting him up the road later – do you want to join us? There’s a band playing in the downstairs bar at Hagen and Hyde. Aiden won’t mind.’

On any other day I would have loved to, but it was hard enough getting on the Tube today, wondering if anyone was going to say anything about the photos. The thought of being in a bar full of people – it makes me shudder just thinking about it.

‘Thank you, but I’m going to stay in tonight. I’ve got the dreaded phone call with my parents to get out of the way. I have no idea how they’re going to react after what they’ve seen.’

‘They might surprise you,’ she says.

‘They might, but I’m already picturing the look on Dad’s face and it isn’t pretty.’

‘They’re your parents. They’ll just want to make sure you’re okay.’

And thankfully she’s right. Although my heart races as I wait for them to log on to Skype, it isn’t nearly as awkward as I expect.

I can tell Dad is too embarrassed to even mention it and when Mum looks like she’s about to launch into a mini lecture about the kind of behaviour that’s becoming of a lady, Dee jumps in and steers us to safer ground – namely, what my next career move should be once I’m done with the show.

She’s been talking to her friend, who works in events management, and she wants me to have a chat with her because she thinks it’s something I’d really enjoy.

And I’d actually be able to make use of my marketing degree, so it would feel more like a career role, too.

She promises to set something up when I’m ready.

After that we talk about the kids for a while, who are in the other room watching telly, then Mum tells me she and Dad are thinking about cutting their trip short and flying back to the UK on Friday in time to come and sit in the audience for the next show – probably so they can make sure I don’t do anything else embarrassing.

‘Although it’s not going to be easy watching you dancing with that man after what we saw,’ Mum says. ‘I hope you were taking precautions.’

‘Mum,’ Dee warns.

‘Well,’ Mum starts, but I interrupt her.

‘You don’t have to worry, Mum, we were using condoms. And that aside, I’m not going to be dancing with him any more. They’ve given me a different partner for this week.’

I’m aware I’m letting the cat out of the bag again, but who are my parents going to tell? And it will put their minds at ease.

‘Oh,’ Mum says, visibly relieved. ‘Which one have you got now then?’

‘Aleksis. The one who was with Emilia last week.’

Just saying his name brings back all the frustration from earlier today, but Mum doesn’t notice me shudder.

‘Oh, I liked him. I thought he was really good,’ she beams, then her face falls. ‘You’re not going to sleep with him as well, are you?’

‘Mum!’ Dee and I shout in unison.

‘No, sorry, of course not,’ she flaps. ‘Well, that’s good to know. That’ll make your dad and me much more comfortable.’

‘There’s really no danger of anything untoward happening with Aleksis,’ I assure her.

‘We barely even talk to each other. So you really don’t need to ruin your holiday and fly back because of me.

I don’t want you to waste your time off sitting around at home just so you can see me on the show for one hour a week. Stay there and enjoy yourselves.’

‘But we do worry about you,’ Mum says.

‘I know, but there’s no need. Tell them, Dee.’

‘She’s fine,’ Dee says.

‘See?’ I’m suddenly eager to finish the call. ‘I’ll check in again at the weekend, okay? With hopefully less drama to report than this weekend. In fact, definitely with less drama. It’s just going to be a normal week this week, I promise. So I’ll talk to you all soon. I love you all.’

‘Love you,’ Mum says. ‘And we’re here for you whenever you need us.’

I close my laptop with a sigh of relief. I don’t want to have to talk to them about Merle ever again. I really should reply to some of the other people who sent messages following the events of the weekend, though, so I take a deep breath and start with the Fire Dancers chat.

Beth has asked how my rehearsal with Merle went today, after everything, and suggested us all getting together for a midweek drink if I want to talk about it.

But I know I’ll probably end up letting slip that I’m not dancing with him any more if I have a couple of glasses of wine with them, so I tell her rehearsals were fine but that I’m keeping a low profile for a few days because I’m not ready to discuss anything yet.

‘ I get that ,’ she replies. ‘ This can’t have been easy. Just let us know if there’s anything we can do.’

I promise I will.

‘ And if you feel up to it by Saturday, I was going to see if everyone wants to go out and party after this week’s show. It was lovely going for dinner with Matt last week, but I can do that any time. ’

‘ I’m up for it ,’ Tammy writes. ‘ My two sisters are my audience guests this week and they’ll definitely want a drink afterwards. ’

‘ I’m in ,’ Liam says. ‘ I can nab us a table at a pub near the studio while you’re doing the show, then you can come and join me afterwards. ’

‘ Great ,’ Beth replies. ‘ Can we save you a seat, Kate? We’d really love you to be there too. ’

And I want to be – I don’t want to miss out on all the fun. Plus, they’ll know about Aleksis by then, so that will no longer be a problem. But can I get past my embarrassment about the photos? Can I stop feeling nauseous every time I think about anyone so much as mentioning them?

I’m going to have to face everyone at Channel 6 on Saturday anyway, so maybe I just need to swallow my fears and get on with it.

Is it really so bad if people know I have an active sex life?

Obviously I’d rather they hadn’t had such a graphic insight into it, and that it hadn’t involved a married man, but neither of those things were my fault.

So can I stop torturing myself and just own it? I decide I owe it to myself to try.

‘ Okay fine ,’ I reply to Beth. ‘ Put me down for a chair. ’