Page 19 of Take the Lead

I go to the studio early the next morning, because I don’t know what time the camera crew is coming. Aleksis didn’t tell me. But the lights are still out, so he clearly hasn’t rushed in to meet them.

While I’m waiting for everyone, I scroll idly through all the news sites on my phone to see if anything else has been printed about Merle or me.

There are a few new comments under the “ Kiz Kiz Bang Bang ” story – one or two that are sympathetic to me, but the majority firmly Team Merle.

Which hardly seems fair – it wasn’t me who was married.

Hearing someone arriving, I glance up to see a strikingly beautiful woman walking into the room. I leap to my feet as I clock her pale blonde hair and realise it’s Aleksis’s sister – Merle’s wife. What the hell is she doing here? I thought my week had already hit rock bottom, but now this?

My skin starts prickling as Aleksis follows her into the room.

I can’t believe he’s brought her here – or actually, I can.

He’s probably loving this. My eyes dart between the two of them as I wait for a barrage of abuse to begin.

But Sofiya holds her hands up in a conciliatory gesture.

‘I’m not here to fight. I just want to say my piece then I’ll be gone. ’

Heart pounding, I glance over at Aleksis, who’s now leaning against the mirror and observing me coolly, his expression unreadable.

‘I had a visit from Aleksis yesterday,’ Sofiya says, ‘and he told me how things are going here.’

She pauses to look round the studio. ‘Not too well, by the sound of things. I know how stubborn my brother can be.’

Another pause, then she turns back to me and says, ‘But I don’t want him to waste the opportunity he’s been given with his first TV show.

This could lead to a lot more work for him, so he needs to take advantage of it.

I’m not going to let him throw away his chances because he’s trying to be loyal to me. ’

I swallow loudly, but I can’t find any words.

‘So I’ve come here today to show him I’m not angry with you. I know what Merle’s like. I’ve known for a long time what Merle is like, but I’ve always hidden it from Aleksis, because it was Aleksis who introduced us and I knew how it would make him feel.’

‘I’m really sorry,’ I finally manage. ‘I genuinely didn’t …’

Another raised hand tells me she doesn’t want to hear my side of the story.

‘Let me finish.’

‘Of course,’ I whisper, unable to take my eyes off her. I wonder if she can tell my heart’s racing.

‘I was twenty years old when I fell in love with Merle. He was charming and gorgeous and made me feel like the most important person in the world. We were married within six months.’

She says this matter-of-factly, but it’s clear there was a time when she thought her relationship with him would turn out very differently. Which I, of course, can relate to.

‘But over time it became apparent I wasn’t the only one he was making feel that way.

His dance partner was the first. I didn’t want to believe it – wouldn’t let myself believe it.

Then, when I couldn’t lie to myself any longer, I confronted him and he broke down and told me what a mess he’d made of things.

He promised to change, so I gave him a second chance and for a long time after that it went back to being perfect. Until it happened again.’

I glance over at Aleksis. This must be hard for him to hear. But he’s looking down at the floor so I can’t gauge what he’s thinking.

‘I still didn’t leave,’ Sofiya continues. ‘Or the time after that. I simply hoped things would run their course then we’d get back on track again – and we did. And I thought I was happy, because when it was good, it was really good with him.

‘But now I find myself back here again and this time, I don’t know why, it just feels different.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s been so public with you.

Or if it’s just because while you’re standing here realising you weren’t the first, I’m here finally realising you won’t be the last. And all of a sudden, enough’s enough.

I don’t want this to be my life any more.

‘So while Aleksis thinks he needs to protect me from the pain you might have caused me, in fact I’m grateful to you, for giving me the impetus to walk away at last.’

‘Well, I …’

She shakes her head firmly. ‘I’m nearly done.

I need Aleksis to know I don’t blame you for what happened.

Merle didn’t tell anyone at the show he was married in case it affected his chances.

So why wouldn’t you fall for him? What I want both of you to understand is that this is neither a great shock nor a desperate heartache for me.

That reporter camped out on my doorstep, trying to get a picture of me looking devastated, is going to have a very long wait.

I’m finally ready to draw a line under my relationship with Merle.

And Aleksis, I want you to do the same.’

She says this last part in a tone that suggests it’s not up for debate.

‘AlI I want now is for people to see what a brilliant dancer you are. You deserve it. Which means the two of you need to put your differences aside and be the best you can be for the rest of your time in this competition. I’m not leaving until you agree.’

I wait in case there’s more, but she seems to be done this time. I can hear the relief in my voice when I tell her this is absolutely fine with me.

‘Aleksis?’ she says.

My eyes drift his way again and he stares back at both of us for a long moment before giving a curt nod. I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. Finally, the tension in the room dissipates.

‘Then that’s all I have to say,’ his sister says, heading for the door. ‘ Lai veicas !’ she says over her shoulder as she walks out of the room.

I don’t know how long I stare after her before Aleksis pushes himself away from the mirror and comes towards me.

‘It means good luck,’ he explains reluctantly.

I study his face, trying to decide if he looks any less like he can’t stand the sight of me. It’s impossible to tell.

‘Well, that was unexpected,’ I admit, feeling dazed. ‘And, er, motivating.’

‘It doesn’t mean we’re friends,’ he says coolly. ‘But we can work together.’

‘Of course,’ I backpedal. ‘That’s exactly what I was thinking.’

‘Let’s get started, then. The camera crew will be with us after lunch.’

I think his tone does get a fraction gentler as we start rehearsing, though, and he seems more patient. We even manage the odd smile when parts of the dance feel like they’re going okay. I’d say I almost feel relaxed by the time Sarah, Steve and Andy arrive.

‘Hi guys,’ Sarah says. ‘It’s that time again. How are you getting on so far this week?’

‘We’re making progress,’ Aleksis replies diplomatically.

‘That’s the most important thing,’ she nods.

She gives our tatty studio a once-over while the other two unpack their equipment. ‘We’re going to need to do a lot of retouching on the background at the editing stage,’ she sighs. ‘But we’ll make it work.’

When the camera and mic are set up, she tells us she’d like to start by filming us practising our routine. ‘And while you’re doing that, I’ll have a think about where we can take it from there.’

What we end up mostly focusing on is Aleksis trying to teach me how to build up the number of spins I can do on the spot.

To begin with, it’s almost three – which isn’t great this far into rehearsals – but eventually I manage six, although Aleksis has to catch me a few times and I have to stagger across the room and cling on to the ballet barre once or twice.

Sarah then decides I should have a go at spinning Aleksis. And as he can spin on the spot without me even touching him, we manage to make this look good. Sarah is pleased with how it looks on her monitor.

I notice Aleksis doesn’t ask to see it, which is refreshing after all the interfering Merle did on our filming day. We might not like each other, but I find myself respecting him for trusting Sarah to do her job.

‘This has given me an idea,’ she says, rummaging around in her bag and retrieving a roll of duct tape.

Seeing my quizzical expression, she explains that she wants it to look like Aleksis has spun me right through the floor.

She pulls the old tape off one of the holes and gets Aleksis to pretend to fix it with new tape while I hold my shoe and look incredulously at the heel.

‘I love it,’ she declares when she’s captured it all on film. ‘Which means, you’ll be pleased to hear, that’s us nearly done for today.’

There’s just a brief recording of us talking about our week – both of us choosing our words carefully – before we say our goodbyes.

‘Thanks for making our lives so easy this afternoon,’ Sarah beams. ‘And good luck for Saturday. Hopefully we’ll see you again next week.’

I can’t help noticing how much Aleksis’s face changes when he thanks her with a smile of his own. The angles soften and there’s a glimmer in his eyes. He almost looks nice. But the smile fades when he turns back to me, and the hardness returns to his features.

‘We have a lot to do,’ he says stiffly. ‘Shall we?’

For the first time, we rehearse until the studio closes.

The janitor even has to come and tell us to leave the building before we get locked in – just when it feels like we’re finally making progress.

I would happily have carried on for a few more hours if we’d been able to stay – not least because it’s been much easier to have my arms round Aleksis when it doesn’t feel like he wants to snap them off.

It’s such a relief to get through a whole day with no hostility that I go home on a bit of a high.

So when Lucy invites me to join her, Aiden and Warren for the pub quiz at The Grove – another Balham favourite – I seriously consider it.

I’d as good as forgotten what it was like to feel upbeat and it seems a waste not to make the most of it.

Of course I haven’t magically forgotten the anguish of the photos and I’m not sure I’ll ever be a hundred per cent over them, but I’m suddenly determined not to let it beat me.

With some extra encouragement from Lucy, I manage to convince myself it doesn’t matter if a handful of people in the pub think they know things about me because of what they’ve seen.

They can think what they like, but they don’t know anything.

Fighting off any lingering doubts, I take a deep breath and tell Lucy I will be on their team.

If people want to talk about me, let them.

And if they stare, I’ll deal with it. Lucy praises my newfound feistiness and reminds me that once this first outing is out of the way, it can only get easier.

Then she hustles me out of the door before I can change my mind.

I have my first and only wobble when we’re standing at the bar and the couple next to us start sniggering.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have come,’ I backtrack, even though it might not be me they’re laughing about.

‘Don’t worry about them,’ Warren says reassuringly. ‘You’re with friends, just ignore everyone else.’

‘And you’re here now, so you might as well stay,’ Lucy adds.

‘Plus Aiden’s terrible at pub quizzes, so we really do need you on our team,’ Warren says with a grin.

‘Hey! I’m not that bad,’ Aiden protests. ‘But I do want you to stay. You can’t leave me and Luce alone with this loser all night.’

‘This loser who just happens to know the perfect way to fix this situation,’ Warren says. ‘Wanna hear it?’

‘Go on,’ Lucy prompts.

‘Tequila!’ Warren shouts.

‘Now I wish I hadn’t asked,’ she laughs; then, ‘Okay, I’m in.’

‘Go on then, let’s do it,’ Aiden agrees.

And even though a small voice in the back of my head says, This is a terrible idea when you’ve got another rehearsal day tomorrow , I don’t object.

My salsa may not be anywhere near as polished as my kizomba was after all the time Aleksis and I have wasted, but it doesn’t matter.

We’ll go through anyway. And as frustrating as it is that we won’t be staying in the competition through our own merit this week, it does feel like payback for what I’ve had to go through with Merle.

‘Screw them all,’ Warren toasts as we tap our glasses together and lick piles of salt off our hands.

‘Screw them all,’ we repeat as we tip the tequila down our throats, wincing in unison as we feel the alcohol burning our throats.

‘We’ll take one more each,’ Warren tells the barman as we suck our lemon slices. And no one protests.

We take the second round to our table with our other drinks and this time Warren simply toasts Thursdays, declaring it the official start of the weekend. He gives me a playful nudge and I can’t help grinning back. It’s nice to feel like he’s got my back.

The quizmaster kicks things off and we get stuck into answering questions.

At regular intervals Warren touches my arm and checks I’m okay.

And I’m surprised to find I am – because when everyone around us is concentrating on picture rounds and music rounds and who the president was fifty years ago, no one is paying the slightest bit of attention to me.

But it’s really sweet of him and I appreciate it.

We order two more rounds of tequila in between sets of questions and it’s no surprise to any of us that we’re not one of the top five teams when the quizmaster eventually reads out the answers.

But we weren’t expecting to win the consolatory round of drinks that goes to the team who finishes right at the bottom, either.

Thanks to all the shots, instead of being embarrassed we find this hilarious.

We’re still giggling when Aiden comes back from the bar with four complimentary glasses of Baileys on ice. As we clink glasses, Warren puts his arm round me and asks, ‘Are you glad you stayed out now?’

‘I am,’ I nod. ‘It’s been such a fun night.’

The truth is, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.

He lowers his voice and says, ‘Listen, I know you didn’t fancy it last time we met, but I’ve still got to ask – do you want to come back to mine for a bit after this? I’m not ready to call it a night just yet.’

And perhaps because I’m a bit giddy from all the drinks, but more because he’s been so kind to me all evening, I tell him I do.

I actually do. This is what I need in my life – a really nice, funny guy, not some arrogant dancer who doesn’t give a damn about me.

Plus there’s the fact that I really want Merle not to be the last person I had sex with.

I’m pretty sure one thing will lead to another back at Warren’s, and that will hopefully make me forget about the whole Merle situation once and for all.