Page 46

The living room is dimly lit. The sounds of laughter and off-key singing echo up through the floorboards, reminding me of all the fun I’m missing out on while waiting for my impending death. But the longer I sit here, the more I second-guess everything about tonight.

Perhaps Roy’s silent treatment has nothing to do with me.

Maybe he’s simply annoyed about work. Charlie mentioned that he has an employee who always calls out and another who only works nights because he’s in high school.

Or maybe—and this is probably closer to reality—he does hate my guts and can’t stand being around me for more than five minutes before needing another drink.

After what feels like forever but is probably only five minutes, I hear heavy footsteps coming down the hall. My heart kicks into high gear as Roy enters the room, looking decidedly less murderous than I’d expected but still wearing a scowl that could freeze hell over.

“Nice aim,” I say in the hopes of breaking whatever tension looms between us.

“Next time, I’ll aim lower,” he replies flatly, without missing a beat.

Nice. This is good. We’re communicating now, even if it does involve threats of bodily harm.

“So, do you want to tell me why you’re avoiding me like I’ve got some kind of contagious disease?”

He sits down across from me with all the grace of someone who’s already decided how little he cares about this conversation.

“It’s complicated,” he mutters.

“Complicated how?” I press because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s getting to the bottom of things.

Roy crosses his arms and stares at the wall behind me. “Just drop it.”

“No. Not until you tell me what your problem is.”

“My problem”—he speaks slowly like he’s talking to a small child—“is that you won’t shut up and leave me alone.”

“Wow, mature,” I shoot back. “You know what? I don’t think it’s complicated at all. I think you’re pissed off because?—”

“You don’t know a damn thing!” he interrupts, his voice rising as he finally gives me his undivided attention.

“Bullshit!” I’m yelling now, too, but I don’t care. “You’re pissed because Charlie and I are together!”

The words hang in the air between us, and for a moment, I’m unsure whether he’s going to punch me or storm out. He glares at me with so much intensity that I cower.

“You think this is news to me?” he spits. “My problem is that I’m slowly being replaced.”

I blink at him. “Replaced?”

Roy’s jaw works, and for a second, I think he’s going to clam up again. But then he leans forward, elbows on his knees, and the words pour out .

“Three years ago, Charlie came to me all excited, bouncing on his heels like when he was a kid and Mom made his favorite cookies. ‘Roy, I got into Ashford! Full ride!’ And I’m standing there in the hardware store, my heart splitting in two.

But I smiled and told him how proud I was of him.

Because I was.” He pauses and takes a shaky breath.

“Then he says, ‘Which means I’ll be moving to New York.’ Just like that.

Like it’s nothing. Like leaving me behind is the easiest thing in the world. ”

“Roy—”

“No, let me finish.” His voice cracks slightly.

“That night, I went home and cried for the first time in my life. Because I knew that once he got to the city, once he met other people and made new friends, he wouldn’t need his big brother anymore.

And I was right, wasn’t I? He found you.

He found Harrison. Hell, he found a whole team of guys who worship the ground he walks on. ”

The pain in his voice brings tears to my eyes. All this time, I thought Roy hated me. Turns out he was just terrified of losing the one person who still looked up to him.

“You’re wrong,” I say quietly.

Roy snorts. “Am I?”

“You’re his hero,” I tell him. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard ‘Roy would know what to do’ or ‘Roy taught me that’? It drives me crazy sometimes, honestly. The way he talks about you, you’d think you hung the moon.”

Roy stares at me with his mouth hanging open.

“I’m serious,” I continue. “Yeah, he’s got new people in his life. But that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. It just means his world got bigger. And there’s room for all of us because Charlie’s heart is bigger than the world.”

“You don’t get it,” Roy mutters, but some of the fight has gone out of him. “I’m not…I’m not good at this stuff. At sharing. Charlie’s always been mine to protect, you know? And now…”

“Now you’ve got help,” I finish. “Whether you want it or not.”

We sit in silence for a moment. The party noise from downstairs fills the gap, reminding me that life is still happening around us.

“Is that why you took up drinking?” I ask. “To drown out this whole thing?”

Roy turns his head away from me and nods. “Pretty pathetic, huh? It was the only thing that dulled the ache in my chest.”

“And being shitfaced helps with that?”

“At least when I’m drunk, I don’t have to think. Or worry,” Roy mutters.

“Was it the drinking that caused you to fall down the stairs?”

“Yeah. That’s when I realized things were getting out of control.”

“Do your parents know the truth?”

He scoffs, his lips twisting into a bitter smile. “They bought the whole ‘I’m clumsy’ routine.”

“Are you going to get help for it? Before things get worse?”

Roy nods again, more certain this time. “I have to. I don’t feel like an alcoholic, but I enjoy how drinking dulls everything. If I don’t get help now, I’ll keep chasing that feeling and end up with even bigger problems.”

Relief washes over me as I realize he’s not as lost as I’d feared.

We sit for a while longer, two idiots trying to understand how we got into this mess in the first place.

“You better not mess things up,” Roy says eventually, breaking the quiet with a small smirk. “With either of them. I’m quite fond of that shaggy blond kid.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” I reply confidently. “And I’m quite fond of that shaggy blond kid too.”

Roy stands up and stretches, more relaxed than he was when he first walked in here. “Pretty sure my mom will kill us if we don’t get back down there soon.”

Nodding in understanding, we exit the room. This time, I walk beside him instead of behind him. When we reach the stairs, Roy stops and stares at me with those serious eyes of his. “You meant what you said back there? About if I ever need someone to talk to?”

“Yeah,” I reply without hesitation. “Every word.”

He nods again—more to himself than to me—and heads down the stairs.

As Roy heads over to his dad, Charlie walks up to me, brow furrowed. “Everything okay? You two were gone for quite a while.”

I wrap an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. “Never better.”