Page 32

Heart-Pounding Feelings

Harrison

April showers bring May flowers. At least, that’s what my grandmother always said. And I hope it’s true because I’m going stir-crazy not being able to tag buildings.

The rain has been relentless for the past week, and the forecast shows no signs of improvement. My spray cans sit untouched in the corner of my loft like punished children.

With a weary sigh, I lie back on my bed and stare up at the exposed beams, letting the pitter-patter of the storm lull me into an afternoon slumber.

I get lost in a dream where Charlie, Daniel, and I are more than friends.

A dream where I’m not the rebellious outsider but an integral part of their lives.

It’s a beautiful dream, one that fills me with a warmth I’ve never known before.

And then it’s interrupted by my phone chiming.

I slowly open my eyes, the remnants of that beautiful dream still clinging to the edges of my consciousness. My phone chimes again. I reach for it with a languid hand. The screen is bright, almost blinding, and I squint as I unlock the device.

The notification banner reads, Daniel Hollingsworth sent you a message on Instagram. My heart skips a beat. Daniel? Messaging me? I tap on the app icon, my fingers trembling slightly with anticipation and nerves.

As the direct message screen loads, I count to ten to calm my nerves. The message is brief, consisting of an address followed by a simple request. “Come over. We want to talk.”

I read the words over and over again. A knot forms in the pit of my stomach as my body becomes filled with dread.

Nothing good ever comes from “we want to talk.” Those words are loaded with the promise of impending doom, of relationships crumbling and hearts breaking. I’ve heard them before from ex-lovers and fair-weather friends, always followed by a litany of reasons why I’m not enough.

But this is Charlie and Daniel. The two people who have shown me more acceptance and kindness than anyone else in my life. Surely, they wouldn’t invite me over simply to cast me aside. Would they?

I sit up in bed and run a hand through my messy hair as I try to make sense of it all. The rain continues to patter against the windows in a steady rhythm that does little to soothe my frayed nerves. If anything, the relentless thumping makes my heart beat faster.

My mind runs through a plethora of scenarios, each more heartbreaking than the last. Have they finally realized that I don’t belong in their world, that there’s no place among Ashford’s elite for a graffiti artist?

I close my eyes and push the frightening thoughts aside. Charlie and Daniel aren’t the type of people who toy with people’s emotions. But still, the fear lingers, cold and persistent.

I rattle off the address Daniel sent—fumbling slightly—to the taxi driver. The sound of the tires splashing through puddles accompanies me as I sink back into the cracked leather seat and watch the rain-slicked city blur past the window.

My thoughts are a chaotic mess, echoing the city’s frantic pace. What if I’m walking into a trap? Is this the end of whatever connection we had?

The cab weaves through traffic, jostling me from side to side. We stop and start, the rhythm doing nothing to put me at ease. I try to distract myself by watching people hurry along the sidewalks, umbrellas clashing against each other, but it doesn’t help.

With each block we pass, the knot in my gut tightens. By the time the driver pulls up in front of Charlie and Daniel’s brownstone, I’m ready to vomit.

I pay the fare and step out onto the curb. The rain turns me into a drowned rat as I stand there, staring up at the imposing facade of their home. The building is pristine, and the wrought-iron railings gleam, even in the dreary weather. It screams of old money and privilege.

I climb the steps to the front door and press the doorbell. The chime echoes distantly. Seconds turn to minutes as I wait, shifting from foot to foot, my hands shoved deep into the pockets of my hoodie.

Charlie’s beaming face greets me when the door swings open. His chestnut-brown eyes shine as they travel down my body, taking in my casual attire.

“H! You made it.” His voice is as bright and cheerful as ever, and I sigh with relief. If Charlie’s smiling, then it can’t be bad, right? He steps to the side and gestures for me to come in. “We were starting to worry you got lost in the rain.”

I cross the threshold and follow him down the hallway. The hardwood floor creaks beneath our feet. He’s barefoot while my shoes leave wet footprints in my wake. I cringe, knowing how easily water can damage wood. I should’ve taken them off. Too late now, I guess.

We emerge into a spacious living room, where Daniel is sprawled on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He’s barefoot, too, and suddenly, I feel woefully overdressed. He looks up as we enter, a lazy grin spreading across his face.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” he drawls, his voice dripping with amusement. “I thought you were going to leave us high and dry, Price.”

I shrug nonchalantly, even as my insides churn. “And miss out on the chance ‘to talk?’ Never.”

Daniel pats the space beside him on the couch. “Take a load off, Price. We don’t bite…unless you want us to.”

I gulp audibly and perch myself on the edge of the cushion, not wanting to ruin the furniture with my wet clothes.

“I’ll grab us some beers,” Charlie calls out on his way to the kitchen.

I open my mouth to protest, knowing that alcohol will only make the nausea worse, but his head is in the fridge before I can get a word out. I sigh and lean back, forcing myself to relax. It’s just Charlie and Daniel. My friends. My… crushes ?

Daniel shifts beside me and inadvertently brushes his thigh against mine. The contact makes me flinch.

He’s close. Too close. So close that I can feel the heat radiating off his skin.

Charlie returns with three bottles of beer.

The labels boast hints of citrus and pine.

He hands one to Daniel and offers another to me.

I shake my head, mumbling something about not being much of a drinker.

Charlie shrugs and sets the bottle on the coffee table, just in case, before plopping down in the recliner across from us.

He pops the footrest out and wiggles his toes. A contented sigh escapes his lips. “Much better. Nothing like kicking back with a cold one and good company, eh?”

I nod, smiling weakly. My nerves are still on high alert, and my body thrums with a mix of anticipation and dread.

Daniel’s hand lands on my knee, and I flinch again, startled by the sudden contact. He chuckles and squeezes gently. “Relax, Harrison. You’re safe here.”

Am I?

Charlie laughs. “Yeah, man. We just wanted to hang out, you know? Catch up and stuff. It’s been a while.”

“Sorry,” I say, blushing because I’m the most ridiculous person in the world. “I guess I’m kinda confused as to why I’m here. I mean, I know we’ve hung out before, but this”—I gesture to the room at large—“is unexpected.”

Daniel reaches for the remote and clicks off the TV, plunging the room into sudden silence. He turns to face me. My heart hammers in my chest as I meet his gaze.

His brow furrows in concern. “God, Harrison. You’re trembling.”

“It’s the rain,” I tell him. Partially, it’s also my nerves.

He chuckles softly and places a hand on my shoulder. “Charlie, get him a towel.”

“On it!” Charlie leaps out of the recliner, runs down the hall, and returns with the fluffiest green blanket. He drapes it around my shoulders like a cloak and settles back into his seat.

“Thanks,” I say.

He winks. I blush some more.

“We have something we want to discuss with you,” Daniel says, recapturing my attention.

I nod slowly, then lick my lips. “Okay. What’s up?”

Daniel glances over at Charlie, who gives him an encouraging nod. “Harrison, the truth is, ever since we all kissed on New Year’s Eve, Charlie and I haven’t been able to get you out of our minds.”

My eyes widen in surprise. My breath catches in my throat. My heart stops beating.

Did I hear him right? They’ve been thinking about… me ?

Daniel continues talking, and it doesn’t escape my notice that his thumb has taken up rubbing circles on my shoulder.

“And after a lot of talking, we realized something. We’ve developed feelings for you.

Real, genuine, heart-pounding feelings. The kind that keeps us up at night, wondering what it would be like to kiss you again. ”

I’m stunned into silence. All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to like me. I’ve imagined it more times than I could count, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would happen.

Charlie leans forward in his chair, his feet falling to the floor, and rests his elbows on his knees. “It’s true, man. We’re crazy about you. We’re crazy about each other.” He gestures between himself and Daniel. “That night unlocked something in both of us.”

I clear my throat a hundred times before speaking. “What are you saying? What do you…what do you want?”

Daniel takes my hand in his. “We want to be with you, Harrison. We want to explore these feelings and see where they lead. We want to do it together, the three of us.”

My eyes grow large and flit between the two of them. He’s not suggesting what I think he is, is he?

As if reading my mind, Daniel smiles and nods. Charlie mimics his movements.

In unison, they say, “We want to be a throuple.”

We order takeout and watch Stand by Me on one of the back channels. Daniel said it was to give me time to process their proposition. And boy, do I need it. Time. Lots and lots of it.

Because…are they serious? A throuple? With Charlie and Daniel?

The idea is rousingly thrilling and publicly terrifying.

Part of me wants to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.

That I’m not still in my loft, listening to the pitter-patter of the raindrops hitting the windowpane.

Another part wants to run for the hills, wholly convinced I’ll end up getting hurt.

But as I sit there, in a pair of sweats from Daniel and a hoodie from Charlie, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, I realize that this is an opportunity I can’t pass up.

This is a chance to explore the depths of my feelings for these two incredible men .

“Okay,” I say during a commercial. “Let’s do this. Let’s be a throuple.”

The words are barely out of my mouth before Charlie whoops and launches himself at me, tackling me back against the couch in a bear hug. Daniel laughs and joins in, his strong arms encircling us both.

We stay like that well past the end of the commercial break, giddy with the newness of it all. When we finally break apart, I’m flushed and breathless from the endless possibilities spinning in my head.

“How do we do this?” I ask, looking between them. “I’ve never been in a throuple before. Hell, I’ve barely been in a relationship, period.”

Daniel chuckles and squeezes my thigh, which causes my breath to hitch and toes to curl. “I think the first step is to go on some dates. Spend time together one-on-one and get to know each other.”

“Yeah!” Charlie chimes in. “Truth be told, Daniel and I have already done that.”

My eyes grow wide. “Really?”

Charlie nods. “We went to Coney Island not too long ago. Rode the Cyclone”—he shudders—“ate hot dogs, the whole nine yards.”

I raise an eyebrow, impressed. “Sounds like a blast.”

“It was,” Daniel confirms with a grin. “Which reminds me, I’ve been wanting to take you on a picnic, Harrison. I know a great spot that I think you’d love.”

My heart flutters at the thought of a romantic picnic with Daniel. Burrowing into the hoodie, I shyly smile and say, “I’d like that.”

Charlie pouts playfully. “Damn, a picnic? Why didn’t I think of that? I’m not good at coming up with ideas like that.”

I laugh and reach out to ruffle his hair. “You’re such a golden retriever. Tell you what, I have the perfect idea. How do you feel about seeing a Broadway show? ”

Charlie’s eyes light up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. “Are you serious? I fucking love musicals! Oh man, this is going to be awesome!”

His excitement is so endearing that I surprise myself by leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He blushes and ducks his head.

Daniel clears his throat, drawing our attention back to him. “Then, it’s settled. Two dates with Harrison.”

I smile while my heart sings. Never did four words sound so sweet.