Page 22

Twenty-One. The slut life

Vera

I t’s been five days and two matches since our late night date, and things with Elias are perfect. Having a deep conversation on a dark street wasn’t my plan, but the minute he said he didn’t want to be my friend, I knew I’d fucked up. There was absolutely no way I could convince anyone I wanted only sex with Elias. Things had more than changed and I was powerless to stop myself from falling.

But I was still keeping an emotional distance between us.

The issue wasn’t that we were on different pages, but that I was afraid to say the words and have everything fall apart. Elias’s feelings weren’t locked away anymore and I felt like he was seconds away from saying the three words. He always caught himself though and I was eternally grateful. While he was very different from Ajay and Rakesh, my past wounds resurfaced at the wrong times and I struggled to navigate us without hurting myself.

He’s been annoyingly perfect, though. Which makes it even harder to keep ignoring the way he makes me feel. All it takes is a phone call during practice, an early morning kiss before he has to leave me alone in bed or even a silly text about how many runs he scored during training—I find myself smiling to myself like an idiot.

As the owner of a company, and having worked multiple jobs, I know we’re walking a fine line. While Lucky Shot doesn’t have anything against coworkers dating, I don’t know how the Renegades feel about it. Brushing it off is a little dangerous, but there’s no way to get their policies and guidelines without triggering an avalanche of questions. And I’m not ready for them to find out the woman in those photographs from a month ago is me. It’s hard enough getting men in high places to respect a woman at their same level. This will give them all kinds of excuses to treat me like shit. I don’t have time for that.

I do, however, have all the time in the world for my cousin. She doesn’t give me much of a choice, really. Tamara shows up with a paper bag filled with food and plonks herself on my couch despite James loudly announcing that I have a very busy day.

“It’s her lunch break, James. I won’t stay longer than an hour, I promise.”

My assistant narrows his eyes, because he knows she will never leave. But he does exit the room, shooting another glare her way, which cracks me up.

“Is it weird that I love him?” she says and unloads food from our favourite pan-Asian restaurant on the table. “Also, I can’t believe it took you this long to invite me to the office for lunch. Didn’t realise Elias had so much power.”

“Technically you invited yourself.”

“Semantics.” She waves me off.

“Don’t you have a really demanding job?”

“Do I? More importantly, I needed a break and my boss knows it.”

As one of the top interior architects at her firm, Tamara is damn good at her job. She gets to design incredible spaces and has access to some of the rich and famous in the city. Because of that she works a lot, so her midweek days-off are common. She’s the reason I started to work from home at least once a week if I can. I’ve burned out at past jobs and I never want it to happen here, so I take care of myself as much as possible.

It definitely helps to have a sexy athlete for a boyfriend taking care of me too.

I can barely contain the squeal as I shove a California roll into my mouth, drawing her attention.

“Is the food that good?”

Rolling my eyes, I chew and swallow before speaking. “I was thinking about Elias.”

“God, Vee, keep it in your pants.”

“Fuck off.” She laughs and shovels a heap of noodles into her mouth, nodding at me to continue. “We had the conversation.”

Tamara holds a hand up and chews quickly. Once she’s swallowed, eyes wide, she says, “Did you say you love him?”

“No! Not yet. I…I’m not ready for that yet. But we discussed being more than fuck buddies.”

“Oh. Oh , this is juicy. Gimme the details.”

With a dramatic sigh, I relay everything from the secret gig to him being swoony as fuck and the evening taking a hard turn. But when I’m done, my cheeks hurt from all the smiling. I am happy and I feel really good. Even if I’m keeping certain things close to the chest. It’s a matter of self-preservation and even if it’s been three years, heartbreak still hurts like a bitch.

“You’re his girlfriend. How high school of you,” she teases and I poke her with my foot.

“It does sound childish, but it feels good to say it? It slipped out and gave me the chills. The good kind.”

“I’m happy for you, Vee. You deserve to have this young, handsome stud worship you every single day.”

Her words make me sigh and I sink into the couch, popping a Flaming Salmon roll into my mouth. Elias worries he’s not good enough for me or the world, but some days, I worry I might be too much for him. He can reassure me all he wants, but I’ve heard it from enough people and I know I’m not demure and sweet. But when he says he likes me wild, he means it and I love him for it.

“Speaking of worshipping, I’m back on the apps,” she says and my eyes widen. “I know, I know . There’s this new kid at the office and she swore to make my profile banging or whatever. So I took a chance and…got a few hits this morning.”

“People are swiping in the morning?”

She laughs. “Good options too.”

“So, what? You’re looking to hook up or something else?”

“I don’t know. I can give myself orgasms, so I’m not sure what the purpose is.”

“You want the truth or a comforting answer?”

“The truth, obviously. We don’t lie to each other.”

“ Sure ,” I mumble sarcastically and she kicks me. “You were in an eight-year relationship with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You got comfortable in the monogamous bubble and going back to the free bird lifestyle is…complicated.”

“Ugh. But I want to erase the monogamy from my life.”

“Maybe you need to take it one day at a time. Like you said, you don’t need someone else for the orgasms, so enjoy the time you have to yourself for a bit.”

She nods slowly. “Do you miss the slut life?”

I chuckle and stretch my legs out, setting my feet on the coffee table. “Not really. I wasn’t looking for monogamy either, but I guess on some level it suits me. Plus, when the other person is really good with handing out orgasms like fucking Oprah, you don’t really complain.”

“And you say you’re not in love with him.”

“For fuck’s sake, Tam.” I shake my head, realising that arguing with her about it is so silly. “I didn’t say I’m not . It’s only been a month and change. Isn’t that really fast? Besides, what we have right now is good. He’s kind, annoyingly beautiful and the sex is stellar.”

“Don’t forget the fact that he’s single-handedly taking the Renegades to the championship they so desperately need.” At my surprised look, she shrugs. “Showing a little support for the man making my cousin happy.”

“You’re ridiculous,” I tell her and we share a laugh.

James looks sheepish as he steps into my office. “The Renegades team is in the conference room.”

“Thanks.” I turn to Tamara, who hasn’t budged an inch. “You wanna hang around until I finish my meeting?”

“I’d love to, but I do have some work to do. Next time?”

We gather all the containers and once everything is back in the paper bag, Tamara leaves. I grab my things and head to the conference room where on the screen is the most gorgeous picture of Elias. He’s shirtless and sweaty, bat and helmet in hand, as he laughs with Bash. He left early this morning to practise and prep for their match this evening, and because he’s so busy our texts have been few and far between. And seeing these pictures makes me miss him.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Thomas.”

I turn away from the screen and smile at the enthusiastic group. “Looks like you’ve got great news.”

They laugh and nod as the team leader steps up to the screen and starts the presentation. “With how well Elias is playing and the partnerships he’s building with Bash, we were thinking they could be a huge piece of our marketing strategy. Reels featuring the duo do the best, photographs of their teamwork and friendship also drives the traction up. And every time they interact with each other on Instagram, the fans go nuts.”

“How are you going to leverage that?”

A presentation featuring images and videos of the two men fill the screen as the team takes me through their ideas. It’s very distracting and I’m surprised I even register what they’re saying, because half of the footage has Elias shirtless. I know every inch of his body and I’ve traced his muscles with my mouth, but it’s something else to see him in athlete mode. In my flat, he’s just the guy I’m falling for. But to my entire team, he’s a fucking superstar. My heart clenches at how happy he looks to be back on the pitch, because it’s where he belongs.

When they finish, I clap because it’s a damn good plan and one I know will get the Renegades the kind of social media and marketing traction they want. They stay on in the room while I head back to my office with the intention of reviewing this presentation once before it goes to the client. But I’m distracted by the note stuck to my computer screen written in Tamara’s pretty, loopy handwriting:

Step one: Forget about the assholes in your past

Step two: Tell HIM how you feel

Step three: Get us free tickets

If you want company watching the match tonight, you know where to find me. Love you!

Despite wanting company to watch the match and hoping to finish all my work by five, I’m still stuck at my desk at seven. My iPad plays the cricket match between the Chennai Renegades and the Bengaluru Mavericks, and my attention is split between the game and the work I have to complete. Their rivalry is well-known and even with the volume on low, I can hear the chanting and booing from our home fans. If there’s one thing we’re really good at, it’s being a menace for visiting teams.

The Mavericks are close to a hundred runs with only one wicket and if they continue at this pace, the Renegades are going to have a tough time catching up. I chew on my lip and watch as the striking batter taps the ball gently and starts running. The fielders are doing a piss poor job and I can feel the disappointment rolling off the fans at Chepauk? 1 .

I shake off my frustrations and return to work, looking up every so often to check the score. By the time I’m done replying to urgent emails and filtering things James can handle in the morning, the first innings are over. There’s a small break allowing the Renegades to get their shit together. I shut my laptop and stand, stretching my arms over my head before bending to touch my toes. If I leave the office now, I’ll get stuck in traffic and miss the Renegades batting. Staying where I am is the smarter choice.

With footage of the Chepauk stadium in the background, the line-up for the Renegades fills the screen. Elias will be the sixth player to come on, so they’re banking on him to save the day.

The Renegades barely get any runs in the first two overs and by the time the third one ends, I’ve chewed on my bottom lip so hard, I can taste blood. I get up and start pacing again. Now the volume is turned up, so even if I’m not looking at the screen, I can hear the commentators. And they sound concerned. Untying and retying my hair, I spin around when a loud cheer goes up and notice someone hit a boundary? 2 . Not a big win, it was only a four, but it’s still better than the single runs they’ve taken so far.

When the Powerplay? 3 ends and the fielders? 4 are shifted around, I hold my breath. The Renegades have to get their shit together in the next fourteen overs? 5 , or we’re screwed. The first wicket? 6 comes through in the middle of the seventh over, the second soon after. My heart is racing as Bash steps onto the field. Even with his helmet on, I can tell he’s angry and I hope that helps him. He takes every shot and whacks the ball hard enough that the Renegades score rises steadily.

Another two wickets fall, but Bash stays strong. At this point, the only reason the Renegades haven’t lost is because of him. The fifth wicket falls and I exhale loudly. Because Elias is walking onto the field. His body language shows he’s tense and determined. The camera pans to his face as he steps up into the striking spot and scratches his shoes against the pitch. Even with all the bright lights in the stadium, his helmet is protecting me from seeing his face.

“You got this, superstar. Breathe and swing,” I mumble, watching him get into position. The crowd is chanting his name as he rolls his shoulders back and nods. The bowler makes his run up and I hold my breath as Elias hits the ball high up into the stands, then I release a shaky breath and cross my fingers.

The Renegades lost.

Elias did his best, but in the end, the starting batters really failed to set them up with good numbers. Plus, the Mavericks fielders were in top form tonight. It’s a miracle the Renegades got the runs they did. He might have scored the highest number of boundary shots, but they were nothing compared to how he’d played the last few games.

When the last ball flew into the stands, barely helping the Renegades scrape through, I was packed up and rushing out of the office. I knew it would be ridiculous to even attempt it, but getting to him was all I could think about. However, it seems like most people chose to leave then as well causing pile-ups everywhere between the office and my apartment. What should have taken me thirty minutes, took me an hour and a half.

I hurry up to my floor, hands rummaging in my bag for the key when a shadow outside my front door draws me to a stop. He lifts his head, bloodshot eyes meeting mine under the brim of his cap. My heart drops to my stomach as he opens his mouth to speak and gives up. I hold my hands out, pulling Elias to his feet and guide us into my flat. I don’t bother turning on the lights. We walk to my bathroom where I help him strip out of his clothes before doing the same with mine. He moves slowly, like it physically pains him to do anything. I push him under the shower and lather soap onto both our bodies. He stands there, head dipped low and breathing shakily. Once I rinse us off and hand him the towel, he finally looks at me, the sadness in his eyes piercing my soul.

“Hi.”

“Hi, baby,” I whisper and he whimpers. “Let’s get you into bed.”

He nods and lets me tug him into the room. I pull the covers back and turn on the air conditioner. He takes off the towel, climbs into the middle bed and lays on his back. I slip in beside him and press myself against his side.

Elias sighs. “I failed tonight.”

“You didn’t fail.”

“Will you still love me if I keep failing?” he asks, completely ignoring my statement.

My heart falters at the pain in his voice and the choice of words, but I don’t hesitate when I say, “Of course.”