Page 18

Seventeen. I’m so fucked.

Vera

“ I ’m going to get us refills. Same for everyone?” Krys stands, swaying slightly.

“Think you’ll make it to the bar?” I steady her, my hands at her waist.

“I’ll be fiiiiine .” And with a tug of her short dress over her ass, my friend struts off, every pair of unoccupied eyes following her swinging hips.

I shake my head. I’m not as drunk, but I’m feeling pretty buzzed. Which is probably a good thing because if I allow myself to think about anything other than what I’m drinking, my mind will wander back to Elias. Before I left home that evening, I tried him again and got an ‘unreachable’ message. Which is an improvement from his phone being switched off. But the minute I entered the bar, my phone was put on airplane mode, a rule I implemented when we started doing these evenings together.

Some would call the four of us—Tamara, Millie, Krys and I—workaholics and it’s not too far from the truth. We know how to turn off our work brains, but if something comes through while we’re out, we’re instantly trying to solve the problem. So on the nights we meet, we put our phones on airplane mode so we don’t get sucked into emails and texts from anyone outside of the group. Krys and Millie’s partners are always aware of where we are, so if something comes up, they know where to find us. Thankfully in all the years we’ve been doing this, nothing of importance has happened while we’re out.

However, I’m itching to check my phone because I want to make sure Elias is okay.

But since I set the rule in place, my girlfriends will tease me endlessly. So I force myself to think about anything else. Like how crowded this bar is and why are there so many young people under one roof ? Shaking my head, I turn to Millie and Tamara leaning into each other as they cackle.

Krystina, Millicent, Tamara and I became friends one month into our first year of college in Mumbai. We spent the next three years navigating the trials and tribulations of college life. We had big fights and bigger make-up sessions, we snuck out of the hostel countless times to go partying and stood by each other when the warden caught us sneaking in the morning after. Even though we had different majors, we helped each other through our exams and assignments, showing up even when we weren’t asked for help.

After college, we went all over the place for further education. The distance didn’t break us apart, even though it was hard at first. It got easier once we were all in India again. And in the last fifteen years, we’ve been there through heartbreak, marriages, divorces, miscarriages, births of children, deaths of parents and every time a job gets the best of us.

This kind of friendship stands the test of time.

“Why are there so many people here tonight?” Krys asks as she returns with a pitcher of margaritas.

“It is a Friday night,” Millie slurs.

I gather the empty glasses and top them off. We do our best to try new places every month, for the sake of variety. We also make sure never to meet over the weekend for this very reason, but we had no choice this week. Krys and her family are off on holiday soon and Millie and her fiancé are starting the process of adopting a baby.

“Does it make us really old that we’re complaining about people?” I ask and take a big sip of my drink.

Tamara snorts. “We are old. Well, older than most of the kids here.”

We do a sweep of the space and shake our heads. It’s hard to tell how old they are since most teenagers look like adults these days.

“Speaking of kids,” Krys starts, untying her hair from the complicated up-do she had it in all evening, “mine wanted to know why their aunties haven’t come visiting in a long time.”

“Ugh, I miss your kids.” I pout at the realisation it’s been six months since I’ve seen them.

“Please tell me you said we’ve been off saving the world,” Tam offers.

“Something along those lines.”

I narrow my eyes. “You better not have made us sound like assholes.”

“Venkat told them you’re being badass boss babes and that shut them up. They didn’t know if they should reprimand their father for saying ass or decipher what it meant.”

We burst into laughter, shaking the table and squeal loudly, hands reaching for the pitcher so we don’t spill it. Tequila is sacred in this group.

“I’m glad you two found the good ones in the world,” Tamara mumbles, knocks back her drink and refills her glass. It’s only been a few hours since she told me about dumping Kabir, but she ended things a week ago and stewed in it by herself for that long. Krys and Millie never liked him either, but unlike me, they didn’t say anything. We’ve learned from past mistakes not to get involved in each other’s relationships—unless absolutely necessary.

“Fuck Kabir for not being everything he was supposed to be!” Krys says loudly.

Millie smacks the table, making it wobble. “Fuck him! You deserve better than that piece of crap.”

All three of them turn to me and I roll my eyes. “Fuck Kabir,” I say halfheartedly, because they know the truth.

Millie and Krys boo , drawing the attention of the people around us and Tamara laughs as she wipes at her eyes.

“Who is Vee fucking these days?” Krys asks.

“Well…” Tamara starts and I shoot her a glare.

Getting to my feet, I smooth down my dress. “That’s my cue to pee.”

Another round of boo s echo behind me and I laugh as I head to the restrooms. When I’m done, I gather my hair into a ponytail and step outside as a loud groan startles me. I follow everyone’s attention to the television and see a cricket-themed commercial. Of course, it would follow me everywhere . I shuffle through the people and look up again as the field comes into view. The score appears at the bottom and I wince at the Renegades losing another wicket with only eighty runs on the board. The camera gets close on the batters standing in the middle of the pitch and my heart clenches—I recognise one of them.

The shorter one looks stiff, moving slowly as he tucks the bat under his arm and rolls his neck. Between video clips and seeing him naked in my flat every single day, I can read him so clearly even at this distance. He fidgets, shifting from one foot to the other, something he does when he’s anxious. If he wasn’t wearing his helmet, he’d be running his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends and smiling nervously. He bumps gloves with the other player and turns to walk to the crease and my mouth goes dry.

I’ve always thought the Renegades yellow uniform is a crime, but it looks so good on him. The jersey fits his torso perfectly, highlighting his strong arms. The pants hug his thighs and his ass, and on his back is the number nineteen with Joseph printed below it.

Elias’s picture and stats appear on the screen and while I can’t hear what the commentators are saying, it’s clear the fans are excited he’s back. When the camera pans in for a close-up, he raises his bat, adorned with all his sponsors, and the crowd goes nuts again. I cover my mouth as a smile stretches across my lips, tears prick the back of my eyes.

So proud of you, superstar .

He rolls his shoulders and gets into position, and the whole bar goes quiet. The camera pans out and I hold my breath as the bowler starts his run-up. His form is beautiful and when the ball leaves his hand, I clench mine tightly. I tense in anticipation and it takes a few seconds, but the loud whack of Elias’s bat making contact fills the space. The ball soars higher and further before it drops into the stands. There’s a moment of shocked silence before the crowd erupts. I’m vibrating, my heart racing so fast it’ll be outside of my body any minute now. Tears fill my vision and I close my eyes to calm myself down, because there’s no way I can watch the rest of his playing if I’m crying. And I definitely don’t need all these drunk people thinking I’m some kind of crazy woman crying over an athlete.

They’ll never understand how fucking proud I am.

Focused on the television again, I press a hand to my speeding heart as Elias hits another six, a four, then a short two runs before he’s aiming for the stands again. When he’s in the non-striker? 1 position I move through the crowd quickly. Given that everyone’s standing, it takes me a few minutes to find our table and only because Tamara appears in front of me, grabbing my shoulders.

“Are you okay? Where did you go?”

“Toilet,” I reply, drunk on watching Elias play. “He’s so beautiful, Tam.”

“Who?”

“Elias.”

She looks around before focusing on me. “He’s here?”

I point behind me. “He’s playing again.”

“Vera, what are you saying?”

Grabbing her arms, I smile. “Elias was cleared to play. I just watched him.”

She nods slowly. “You’ve got it so bad for this man, Vee.”

“I know. Fuck , I know.”

Tam laughs and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back and we sway in place as the bar cheers again. With our elbows linked, we walk back to the table where Krys and Millie are standing as well, worried expressions on their faces.

“I’m so sorry. I came out of the restroom and got turned around.”

“Also the man she’s fucking just made an appearance,” Tamara offers and our friends gasp, craning their necks to see where he might be. I shake my head and fill up my glass.

“Where?” Krys asks, frowning as she gives up on spotting him.

“Because he’s not actually here . He’s…” I wave a hand, unsure of how to explain I’m sleeping with Elias Joseph .

“She’s fucking a cricketer.”

“What?!” Millie and Krys say at the same time and I wince at the volume before shooting Tam a glare.

“I’ve been…in a situationship thing with Elias Joseph.”

They stare at me, mouths flapping like fish. Millie and Krys’s partners are huge cricket fans and I know my friends watch the sport too, so their reaction isn’t one of confusion. More of shock.

“What the fuck, Vee?” Krys whisper-hisses and turns around to point at the closest television, where the object of our conversation is getting into position at the crease. “Seriously?”

I nod and smile, watching as Elias takes another shot so effortlessly, his head tipped back before the camera follows the ball into the stands.

“They’re in love,” Tamara offers tartly.

“ Tam .”

“Venkat is going to lose his mind when he finds out,” Krys says and stills before adding, “Am I allowed to tell him?”

“As long as your husband can keep a secret, I don’t care.”

As the words come out of me, I’m surprised at the truth. Now that I’ve accepted I have feelings for him, I’m not too worried about the people closest to me finding out about him.

“Wait, are you seriously in love?”

I kick Tamara, who kicks me back. “I don’t know what I am. I wanted it to be a fuck buddy thing, but he’s…”

“Really handsome and sweet and good in bed?” Millie offers, a drunk smile painted on her face.

“Yup. He’s also got a really filthy mouth, which is such a nice change from all the forced dirty talk I’ve had to put up with the last few months.”

My friends nod and I chuckle. Until very recently in Tamara’s case, all of them have been in committed relationships. Their partners know what they like and the sex must be good, dirty talk included. I know sex isn’t important for a happy relationship, but I also know my friends and they’re kinky bitches. They get the whole wanting good sex and the right kind of dirty talk. It’s something we’ve discussed before.

The bar shouts again and I tap my fingers against my glass. I glance at the screen and find Elias raising his bat as he walks down the pitch. My eyes drop to the score and I gasp.

“He scored a half-century? 2 ,” I whisper and my friends turn to the screen as Elias bumps fists with his fellow batter before returning to the crease.

“I’m glad he’s back. He might save the Renegades from this shit streak they’ve been on,” Millie says, shifting in her chair.

I nod dumbly and turn to Krys. “Can I have my phone, please?”

“ You made the rules, Vee.”

“I…I’ll be really quick. I promise.”

She eyes me, digs into her bag and hands me the phone. I turn off airplane mode and watch as notifications light up my phone.

Superstar:

CLEARED TO PLAY TONIGHT BAAAABBBYYYY!

They waited until an hour before the match was to start to tell me.

I wish you were here to thank you for believing in me.

I slide the phone to Krys and exhale as they grin at me.

“I’m so fucked.”