Page 40 of Striking the Match (Redwood Bay Fire #3)

Teddy

I’ve ruined my brother’s life.

Okay. Maybe Nate ruined his own life by getting into an eye-watering amount of debt with a gambling addiction that no one was aware of.

Yeah, his work wouldn’t know about it if some sleazy reporter hadn’t dug into my family’s private life because I started dating a celebrity.

However, as Cassius keeps reminding me: with that amount of money, the truth would have come out anyway eventually.

But my brother is still blaming me.

Worse than that, he’s got it in his head that my new boyfriend could ‘fix it for him if I wasn’t so selfish.’

The mental gymnastics on that one blows my mind. So, it’s okay to be gay if he’s filthy rich and it could help my brother out, right?

I’m so ashamed, I haven’t even mentioned a word of that conversation to Cassius.

It makes me feel ill to think I’d ever take advantage of him like that.

My mom and dad are doing what they can to try and talk some sense into Nate, but now his work has gotten involved and they’re concerned about what his problem could do to the law firm’s image.

He’s not been fired…yet. I don’t know what will happen.

All I know is that Nate is blaming me for everything. In fact, he’s trying to convince us all that he doesn’t even have an addiction and that we can’t be mad at him for a ‘bit of bad luck.’ Me and him have never seen eye to eye on anything in my whole life, but my heart is still breaking for him.

Maybe now it’s all out in the open he’ll eventually realize he needs help and start going to meetings. For a little town, we have an impressive number of groups, and not just for gambling. There are people ready and waiting to get his life back on track. They’re there to help.

Because I can’t.

The incident with Dez Starr really rattled me. I was so determined to fight him off and protect everyone around me, but I just made it all worse.

Cassius and I have talked at length about how when he started earning big bucks he felt like he couldn’t do anything nice for himself until he’d provided as much as possible for his family.

It was his coach that stepped in and made him understand that self-care isn’t selfish, and if he continued giving everything away, he was training everyone in his life that he’d bail them out, no matter what.

Eventually, he came to see that by putting boundaries in place, he was actually doing them a kindness.

Is that what I’m doing now to Nate? Being kind?

It doesn’t feel like it.

But at least Cassius can relate to what I’m going through, and I appreciate all the patience he’s had with me as I fumble my way into this new normal. It’s almost kind of funny how the relationship part of it all is the easiest. Being with him is like breathing.

I think I might even be falling in love for the first time in my life.

But since we met, it feels like the world around us has been doing its best to throw whatever obstacles it can our way.

When it’s just us two here in the house with Kiki, I feel like we’re indestructible.

But navigating real life outside these walls has felt as unstable as that landslide that tried to kill us a few weeks back.

And now we’ve let what feels like the whole world into the house instead.

I suppose it’s fitting that it’s raining again, as it has been for the past few days.

Last night’s shift was a crazy busy one, and I wish I’d had more chance to sleep today before having to put on a show.

But that’s just the way it is, and at least I’m not alone.

The whole first watch is in the same boat, but they’re showing their support anyway.

I really do love my work family. Even when they drive me crazy.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Lili asks, sidling up to me with a glass of Champagne dangling from her fingers. She looks stunning in an emerald-green backless jumpsuit with her hair all done up and heels high enough that she’s looking down at me.

I mentally try and shake my woes away and give her my best grin. Fake it till you make it, right?

“Just thinking how you guys all owe me for getting you in on this sweet party.”

She scoffs and beckons some of the rest of the crew over from where they’d been ogling one of the Seattle Seahawks, too afraid to actually go talk to him. “Probie here seems to think he’s the shit now,” Lili tells them with a smirk.

“Ohh, you’re going to be scrubbing floors for weeks, dude,” Lochlan says with a laugh.

But Anton shakes his head and looks around Cassius’s living area where I’m used to cuddling up with him and Kiki as we watch TV. “I dunno, Lils. This party is pretty sweet.”

“Gene’s going to be so sorry he missed it,” Yara says sadly.

Dray tilts his head. “I think he was pretty stoked to have an excuse to miss it, actually. I’m not sure posh suits and celebs are his jam.

He told me he was super proud to be going to his daughter’s karate graduation ceremony thing.

” He raises his glass my way. “Me, on the other hand? Fucking delighted to be invited. Cheers, Teds.”

I laugh and tap my flute against his. “You’re very welcome, man.”

“Did you see Bella Dalton over there?” Anton continues. “My Rebecca’s obsessed with her.”

I love the warm look Anton always gets on his face when he talks about his daughter. I don’t blame her for being a fan of the actress. Bella Dalton is seriously cool. This whole party is. I just hope it works out the way Cassius and I intended it to.

“Apparently,” I tell my friends, “Captain Padilla knows her from when they shot the second Fallen Angels Club in the town where she used to be a detective. There was some kind of incident, I’m not sure what.

Long story short, Padilla got to know the cast quite well. Sabina Max is here as well, somewhere.”

“Oh, now that’s someone I have to go find immediately,” Lili says, licking her lips like she’s going on the hunt. I’d be worried, but Sabina seems more than capable of handling horny fans.

Who knows? Maybe I won’t be the only member of the One-Thirteen who ends up with a famous partner.

Although I don’t really think Lili is going to settle down any time soon with anyone, let alone Sabina Max, I guess it would be nice to talk to someone who knows what it feels like to be thrown into this crazy world.

My eyes drift across the throng of people, searching for Cassius.

He’s engrossed in conversation with a couple of people, but I can’t tell who from the backs of their heads.

This party is made up of a bizarre mix of people I know from around town and people I know because I’ve seen them regularly on my TV.

I can’t blame my friends for being excited.

That’s how I want them to feel, in fact.

The entire reasoning behind hosting a fundraiser was to break down barriers and bring the community together for a good cause.

We’ve already raised an impressive amount for the animal shelter, and I think a couple of the dogs might even have been adopted.

Captain Valentine has been wooing all kinds of people while looking sharp as fuck in his well-cut suit.

He’s casually mentioning how if the One-Thirteen had their own air operations it could make a huge difference to our response times.

It would also increase our ability to assist on land and sea without having to rely solely on departments from nearby towns or the naval landing field out on San Clemente Island.

Navy SEALs have better things to do than rescue tourists pulled out to sea on wayward pool floats, after all.

The evening is going well. People are having fun and we’re raising money.

Bryan’s been subtly working with some of the guests to post some photos he’s approved of me and Cassius to start organically promoting us as a couple.

The idea is to let people make real posts without his supervision as well, but the whole thing still feels a little off to me. It’s still kind of fake.

I’m so ungrateful. I’ve met an incredible man and all I can focus on are the problems we’re facing.

It’s kind of hard not to when this whole event was intended as damage control around our relationship, not to mention the drama with my brother.

But it’s much easier to bask in the amazingness of being with Cassius when it’s simply us two.

With all these people in our space, even those that are my good friends, I feel a bit like I’m in a zoo.

People I don’t know keep trying to talk to me and I’m ashamed to say I’m doing my best to avoid them.

Kiki has the right idea, hiding under Cassius’s bed. Luckily, she got her cone off a couple of days ago, so she fits in that tight space again.

I wonder if there’s room for me there as well.

“Oh, isn’t this marvelous?”

I blink and see that my One-Thirteen buddies have been replaced by Mrs. Bloom. I’d worry how lost in my thoughts I was to drive them away, but I’m sure they’ll be able to have a better time without me fretting beside them. So it’s probably for the best.

And if anyone can shake me out of a funk, I’d wager it’s Mrs. Sylvia Bloom.

Naturally, Miss Margot Fonteyn is at her feet, looking pristinely brushed with a teeny little tiara keeping her hair out of her eyes instead of her usual bow or sparkly broaoch.

“You’re having a good time?” I ask Mrs. Bloom, grateful for the distraction, regardless if I wanted it or not.

“It’s been an age since I found myself at a decent soirée,” she tells me gleefully. “Your fancy man is my kind of fancy.”

I laugh, feeling my shoulders relax a little. Mrs. Bloom might be intimidating, but I also know she’d never bullshit me, or anyone else for that matter. She says she’s far too old for false platitudes, but I think she’s still plenty young. Brutal honesty is kind of the vibe I’m feeling right now.

“So you, um, like him?”