Page 18 of Striking the Match (Redwood Bay Fire #3)

Teddy

The clouds overhead look like they’re tempted to rain on my parade.

They better skedaddle, because I’m not having any of it.

If I was thinking with a clearer head, maybe I would have reconsidered going for a hike considering what happened last time I tried chancing it with the weather.

To be fair, if I’d been sensible, I wouldn’t have been able to save Kiki.

I can’t bear to think what might have happened to her if I hadn’t been there. So it wasn’t all bad.

But the sky above is looking eerily similar to that day, and that’s the last thing I want while on a hike.

A hike with Cassius. Just the two of us. All alone.

When he messaged to say how much he enjoyed our walkway-and-sushi adventure the other day, he suggested we could do some more exploring.

I was only thinking that he’d maybe like somewhere we were less likely to run into anyone like that homophobic fan again, and that’s how we settled on a walk in the wilderness park to check out some of the falls there.

We’re only about a half hour’s drive north from Redwood Bay. But as we start walking it feels like we’re in the middle of nowhere and haven’t seen a single other soul yet. They’re probably smart enough to look at the weather forecast and stay at home.

But I was far too excited at the opportunity to spend more time with Cassius to think clearly and rearrange.

Besides, being all alone was meant to be a bonus.

After the way people kept asking for selfies last time, I thought he’d appreciate the solitude, not to mention we could avoid anyone else who might feel the need to one, speculate on the nature of our relationship or two, get weird and homophobic about it.

And…yeah. So maybe I wanted Cassius all to myself, just like when we were at the beach with our picnic in the Pirate’s Cave.

Most of the time, I’m desperate for people to stop treating me like the baby of the group when I’m a fully grown man.

But right now, I’m very aware that I’m being extremely childish, acting like Cassius is my new favorite toy that I don’t want to share with anyone else.

Which is why it felt like if I suggested anything else other than the hike we’d planned, he might turn around and say the day was ruined and he didn’t want to ever see me again.

Logically, I know how crazy that sounds.

However, I’ve never felt this way before about anyone in my life, so logic isn’t necessarily privy to all my decision making at the moment.

I’ve never had anyone so interested in me. I’m the ‘kid brother’ who everyone’s gaze just slides over. The youngest in the conversation. The least experienced.

When Cassius messages me, when he has a conversation with me, I feel like the most important person in the whole world, let alone the room. Could anyone really blame me for wanting to cling onto that?

Which is how we end up an hour into this trail, I guess, determinedly heading farther up the peak, neither of us mentioning the ominous clouds above as we determinedly try to outrun any rain that might be tempted to fall.

In my defense, it’s not as if Cassius has mentioned anything about changing plans or heading back, either.

As he’s supposed to be older and wiser, this emboldens me that our plan might not be as foolish as a cool head would argue it is.

All my wilderness training and health and safety protocols fly out of my brain whenever I hear Cassius laugh.

I know I’m also being reckless by putting myself in the middle of nowhere with a guy I’ve only connected with a handful of times.

If he wasn’t famous, I’m sure I’d be a lot more cautious of whether he was a predator.

The trouble is I do think I know him, even though I’ve only just met him.

The childish part of my brain is arguing that pro NFL quarterback Cassius Garda can’t possibly be a serial killer because otherwise everyone would know about it.

Clearly, I should be watching less football and more true crime documentaries.

To be fair, I did have the common sense to tell Lili and Sawyer where I was heading this afternoon. Both of them sensed I wasn’t going alone and after mentioning the walkway from the other day, I’m sure they’re starting to suspect something’s up.

Even if it was a regular guy I was tentatively seeing, I wouldn’t say anything to them until I was sure.

The fact that it’s Cassius Garda who’s been monopolizing my time means I’m going to have to be a hundred thousand percent sure before I utter a single word, and that will only be after I get his blessing to do so.

And that’s another reason why I’m not going to abandon our tranquility, even if we’re running a risk of getting drenched.

If we’re all alone, I’m hoping it’ll mean more of a chance to talk openly.

My gut’s telling me there’s something on Cassius’s mind, and I’m dying to know what it is.

Even if it’s not necessarily the news I’d like to hear, I’d prefer that to the uncertainty I’ve been tying myself up in knots with.

Is this a second date? Is the chemistry I’m feeling real between us or just in my imagination? My fantasy author is dying to know. Maybe that’s why she was so determined to set this scene in a forest. That’s where the magic is most likely to happen, right?

“Man, this is gorgeous,” Cassius comments, pausing to inhale deeply and look out over the terrain.

It’s very different to the redwood forest. The flora is filled with scrubs and shrubs, craggy rocks, flowers in yellow, pink, orange and red, and twisted trees like a witch’s gnarly hands.

The peaks rise in the distance, beckoning us onward.

The wind is stronger and cooler even when there aren’t gray clouds overhead.

Occasionally, the sun will peep out, though, fulling my delusion that this wasn’t a terrible idea.

As he gazes out over the vista, I sneak a look at him, my knees going weak.

He’s dressed sensibly in jeans and a T-shirt with proper walking boots and a sizable backpack filled with more layers, food, and hiking gear.

It’s much bigger and newer than the one he had with him at the beach, and I wonder if he bought it especially for today.

The idea that he purchased it just to hike with me is so outrageous, but I can’t help but hope it’s true.

I can still see his incredible physique through the clothes.

The way his muscles stretch and contract whenever he moves is like liquid beauty, stirring something fluttery in my belly.

And his smile, his million-dollar, dazzling smile.

How everyone who knows him isn’t madly in love with him I’ll never understand.

Not that I’m in love. That would be crazy.

But I can’t deny I’m infatuated, spending all my time daydreaming about a boy like I’m hormone-riddled teenager. Hey, I was one only a few years ago. I’m not sure if that’s funny or embarrassing.

Cassius doesn’t treat me like a kid, though.

Perhaps worrying about people in my life thinking I’m not mature enough yet is actually encouraging them to keep infantilizing me.

If I lead by example and just… know I’m a man now rather than waiting for permission from others to be considered one, their attitudes might change.

I want Cassius to see that man. In some ways, we come from different worlds.

But in others, we’re so alike and have so much in common.

I don’t want to focus on the negatives or what we don’t have.

Because what we do have is a warm, growing friendship, a lot of shared interests, and enough sparks flying between us to start a wildfire.

I’ve seen the way he’s been ogling me when he thinks I’m not looking. Maybe a downpour will be needed later if we keep this up.

Whoa. That’s an awful thing to contemplate. I’m tempting fate even just thinking about it. We spent the summer tackling some truly exhausting, terrifying wildfires. I tell my fantasy author to dial it down a notch with the metaphors.

“Hey, everything okay?” Cassius asks.

I blink and realize my internal chastising must have shown on my face. I’m tempted to cringe and mumble something about it being nothing. But for the first time in my life, I’ve found someone who doesn’t make me want to hide myself away to try and fit in with the grown-ups.

Because I am a damn grown-up.

“Just some intrusive thoughts,” I say with a sigh, shaking my head.

Lochlan taught me that phrase when he got it from his boyfriend, Dario, who’s done a lot of great work with his therapist. “Sometimes my subconscious decides I don’t deserve to be happy, so it imagines disaster.

I was remembering some of the wildfires we dealt with a few months back, and how if we get rained on, that’ll be better than that alternative. ”

He frowns for a moment, apparently considering my words. “You don’t think you deserve to be happy?”

I think about what I want to say as we start walking again, not wanting to come across like I’m throwing myself a pity party. We’re not far from one of the waterfalls that I especially want to show him. I’d be so annoyed if we have to turn around before we reach it.

“That’s not quite it,” I try and explain.

“It’s more like…I’m not usually special.

I don’t normally get noticed or stand out.

People don’t look to me for advice. I’m never the smartest or fastest. So when something exceptional happens, I question it.

Like when I graduated from the academy. For a second, I thought there’d been a mistake.

” I roll my eyes. “It doesn’t help that one of my brothers has always been kind of a dick to me just because I’m the youngest. He looked at the screen over my shoulder and told me I’d read it wrong before laughing and saying he was just joking.

But that seemed more plausible than me achieving my dream. ”