Page 17 of Striking the Match (Redwood Bay Fire #3)

“Fuck off,” Bryan fires back with a smirk.

“I adopted one cat. You didn’t just adopt one cat.

You donated enough money to feed a hundred cats for a year.

I’m trying to tell you that it’s healthy to accept that some things are out of your hands, and there comes a point where you just have to go with the flow and see what happens.

I’m not saying you should be reckless,” he adds quickly, looking alarmed.

“I know, I know,” I assure him, meaning it. “But I have a really good feeling about this guy, and you said you haven’t found anything worrying about him online, so…”

“So,” he says, picking up my train of thought. “I’m suggesting that the next time you ask him on a date, you actually let him know that’s what it is. The poor guy can’t make an informed decision if he doesn’t know the whole story. Put your cards on the table and tell him you’re interested.”

I rub my thumb against the bottle’s lip. “And what about your worst-case scenario?” I ask, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

He sighs and wobbles his head from side to side a couple of times. “Yeah, it could happen. He could blab all your kinky secrets all over the internet. But I hope not. Seriously. And if it does, then you know I thrive at damage control.”

“Oh, don’t even joke about it,” I say with a nervous laugh.

He simply shrugs, though. “In all seriousness, this was one of the reasons I was so keen to work with you, and it’s why you were smart to hire me.

I’m damn good at my job, and I would work with any number of celebrities if the opportunity came my way.

But my main objective with bulldozing my way into your life was to handle how you came out of the closet.

As I know you understand now, it’s not something you do once.

You’ll be doing it the rest of your life.

But that means you’re also going to be a role model to thousands—fuck it— millions of queer people across the world.

Especially since you had to retire early from football—being gay is essentially your brand now.

How you handle this first relationship matters. How your boyfriends behave matters.”

“No pressure, then,” I mumble into my bottle neck. The way this conversation is going, I’m going to need another one soon.

“Of course there’s pressure,” he says glibly.

“You know that. You thrive off it. I’m just reminding you that you’ll need to think through big decisions like this.

But it sounds like you already have. Now you just need to give this young man a chance to see how he feels about the reality of the situation.

Put your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. ”

I frown. That sounds scary as fuck. But what’s the alternative? Walking away from Teddy to ‘protect’ him and never giving the two of us a shot?

That sounds way scarier to me.

“So you don’t think I’m jumping in too fast with the first guy I got a crush on?” I ask.

Bryan scoffs. Always a dangerous sign. “Oh, you’re absolutely doing that,” he tells me, dead pan.

But then he smirks and shrugs. “Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do, though?

Make fools of us all? Sweep us off our feet?

It sounds like you’ve already dipped your toe in the water with this guy.

Time to jump in with both feet and see if you can swim.

And if he breaks your heart, it’ll be character building. ”

Even though he’s being dramatic, he’s also kind of right. Part of why I’m so nervous about all this is because I’m inexperienced.

You know what the best cure for that is? Experience.

“A real date,” I say, exhaling and nodding to myself.

“Yes, but you have to say the actual words,” Bryan threatens me.

“Don’t dance around the issue because you’re afraid.

I know being vulnerable sucks. But instead of the worst-case scenario, you could try thinking about the best -case scenario.

If you’re open and honest, that could encourage him to trust you, and this could be the start of something disgustingly happy for you both. ”

He pulls a face like he’s just smelled something sour, making me laugh.

But I’d never really thought about it that way round until this moment.

Instead of wringing my hands over all the terrible ways this could go wrong, I could be imagining and manifesting all the ways it could go right. How amazing it could be.

Because Teddy Foster is amazing. And I don’t want to let him slip through my fingers just because the situation is uncertain for both of us.

“A real date,” I repeat, like a promise to myself.

“I’d say that deserves another drink to toast with,” Bryan says, launching elegantly to his feet. “And perhaps some chicken treats for the mademoiselle?”

Noir meows loudly, sitting up with interest from the top of her tree.

“Oh, now it really is a party,” I joke, but the truth is I genuinely feel light with relief.

It was almost as if I had to get Bryan’s blessing before I could allow myself to move forward. Now I have that, it feels like the world is my oyster.

Expect I don’t want any of the other fish in the sea. I just want Teddy.

Time to catch myself a firefighter.