Page 31 of Storm in a Teacup (Love in Edinburgh #3)

Ben

I’m sitting at a table in McCarthy’s with David, Callum, and Rachel, and want to know something funny?

I don’t bother to think about how grateful I am that Rachel is here as a buffer.

I mean, I do think it, and I am grateful she’s here, but this feeling comes from me reminding myself to feel this way.

I’m sipping a pint as they talk about smart people things. The words “data processor,” “cobra,” and “microplastics” are thrown around, so I am very lost, but attempting to engage with an interested look here and a shocked gasp there.

I am alerted to Linny’s approaching presence only by the, “Fuck, sorry,” I hear after the sound of a scooting chair.

I glance behind me to watch her approach and notice that she apologized to an empty chair.

I think she notices that as well because her face burns red.

But instead of shrinking, she puts her chin up and keeps walking.

However, her steps slow down, and her eyes scan and scan everything around her.

I could get up and meet her halfway, but I know she likes doing this by herself.

When she makes it to the table, she drops into the chair beside me and says, “I made it before her set started? ”

“Aye,” I confirm, leaning in to kiss her on the temple, placing my hand on her lower back as I do so, before I bother to wonder if I should be doing either of those actions.

Callum offers, “She’s still chatting with the bartender.” He indicates his chin toward my sister, who is leaned against the bar with her guitar strapped to her back.

Rachel follows our eyeline and says, “She loves a good chat.” She taps her phone to light it up and check the time. “Isles!”

Isla spins around to see Rachel tapping the invisible watch on her wrist. She grins, turns to say one last thing to the bartender, then weaves through the pub to first, come by our table and kiss Rachel on the mouth, then to the stool set up at the back of the bar with a spotlight shining on it.

“Hello, hello,” she says lowly into the microphone.

“Sorry I’m running a bit behind this evening.

I can’t even use the old ‘I was flirting’ excuse because the love of my life is sitting at a table in this pub”—she looks our way and Rachel squirms a bit under the attention, but smiles anyway, eyes only on Isla—“and I would never dream of flirting with anyone but her. So, in honor of her existence, I would like to start the set with her song.”

Isla starts strumming a very familiar chord, following it with lyrics that are a bit less familiar. Rachel keeps her eyes on her, despite how her face burns red.

David leans across the table to say, “She’s been starting every set with this song since she and Rach officially started dating.”

Linny puts a hand over her heart. “That’s cute. She wrote this? It’s good.”

I nod, agreeing. “She’s always been good at the music bit but convinced herself that she was terrible at the word bit.” I tickle Rachel gently on the arm. “Guess she just needed a muse.”

Rachel swats me off and shushes us, but smiles even wider .

I find myself unable to be shushed, but I am agreeable to being quieter. I lean over to whisper in Linny’s ear, “Are you feeling better today?”

“Yeah, yesterday really helped. Thank you.”

I offer an over-emphasized wink. “Any time.”

Her eyes narrow at me. She whispers, “You better mean the smashing shit thing because we agreed the other thing was a one-time occurrence.”

There’s a spasm in my chest at the knowledge that what happened yesterday will never happen again—likely because of just how good it was. Because it was. I mean, wet, naked Linny coming under my hand and my mouth. Obviously, that was a dream scenario.

But she’s right. It was a one-time thing because we both have our reasons for not wanting to be together. And they are very good reasons. I know that. But…my reason is starting to feel forced—like I’m making it a bigger roadblock than it is.

David’s laugh brings my attention to him. Callum has his hand on his back as he whispers something in David’s ear with a smile. David lightly bites his lip, angling toward Callum to mutter something back.

My heart twitches at the sight. Dammit. Still .

“Of course I meant the smashing shit,” I finally say. I swing my arm around her shoulders, letting her lean into me, thankful that even after yesterday, things are not weird. They are just as they always have been. Comfortable. Easy. The way a good fake relationship always is.

…

“Walk you home?” I ask as we leave the bar, parting ways from the rest of our group.

“I don’t need you to,” she says .

“Sugar, you know the offer is purely a selfish excuse for me to see Oscar Wilde again.”

She laughs. “Fine. Nice to know that you’re using me for my cat.”

I chide, “Better than using you for a body part of a similar name.”

She lightly hits me on the arm. “You do not get to make jokes like that after seeing me naked.”

I stop in my tracks. “I would never joke about seeing you naked. That was a magical experience. Magical . I mean, have you seen you? Fucking incredible.”

She did not stop walking, so I have to jog to catch up to her. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she says once I retake my place at her side.

I put a hand to my ear. “I’m sorry, can you say that again? I believe you said, ‘Ben, I think you’re fit.’”

“I said you’re not bad.” She bumps me with her hip.

“Rude.”

“Ben, you’re absolutely beautiful and you know it. I kind of love looking at you.”

I nudge her on the arm. “Well, then it sounds like the day you can’t anymore will be devastating.”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, so I think I’ve gone too far, but then she busts out laughing.

“You self-centered dick!” she exclaims. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.

In my old age, when my vision has completely deteriorated, the Highlands won’t be at the top of my list, nor the ocean, it’ll be your face .

” She shakes her head and says with a smile, “You are such an ass.”

I throw my arm around her shoulders as we continue to head in the direction of her flat. “You like it.”

“I do,” she admits with a sigh .

I don’t remove my arm from her shoulders until we get to her door and I need to so she can dig around her bag to pull out her keys. She unlocks the door and leads me to her flat. As soon as I enter, I hear little legs running toward me. I bend down to greet Oscar Wilde, aka the love of my life.

As the cat plops before me, rolling on his back and showing off his soft stomach, which I am not allowed to touch, I lie down with him. Twisting to my side and propping my head up with my hand, I say, “Can I ask you a question?”

After kicking off her shoes, Linny joins me, sitting crossed-legged on the floor. “I already told you. He came with four legs, but decided I needed a little extra trauma, so now he only has three.”

“He probably just wanted to ensure extra attention for the rest of his life.” Oscar presses his head against my hand, begging for me to resume my stroking as if to prove this point.

“That’s not my question, though. Why don’t you want to be in a relationship?

” I add quickly, “I don’t mean with me, I mean in general.

You were engaged to Andy, but now you’ve sworn off relationships altogether.

Do you just want casual now? I mean, do you ever hook up with people, or no? ”

She purses her lips, once again choosing to ignore my misnaming of her ex. “That was more than one question.”

“Okay, can I ask you”—I count the questions I asked on one hand—“three, or wait, I have one more. Four questions?”

She just looks at me, but I take that as permission to proceed.

“What happened with you and Atti? I assume it was something big and awful.”

She blows out a puff of air, then drops to her back on the rug. “I don’t have the energy to get into that right now.”

I’m a little disappointed, however, I don’t want to push her. “ That’s okay.”

“The breakup with Atti is not technically the reason I don’t want a long-term relationship anymore. I mean, it’s connected, but not completely.” She sighs. “And I do hook up, thank you very much. I’m not running around jumping every man I see, but if I have an itch, I know how to scratch it.”

Well, she answered one of my questions, so I’ll take it. And it turns out I have another one. “Is that what you were doing with me? Scratching an itch?”

She picks her head up to peer at me. “No. I was saying thank you.” Her head drops to the ground. “Though, I think you ended up thanking me a bit more than I thanked you.”

I chuckle. “Rather physical way to say thank you. Not that I minded doing some thanking myself.” I really, really did not mind. As Oscar Wilde moves on to attack a toy mouse, I shift so that I am stretched beside her on the floor, leaving a sliver of space between us.

“Casual is easier,” she discloses quietly.

I swallow before asking, “Are we casual?”

“We both know we could never work as casual.” She turns her head toward me. “I was serious about last night being a one-time thing. If you can’t agree to that, maybe we should stop what we’re doing right now. Before either of us catches feelings.”

Too damn late . I turn my head toward her as well, close enough to feel her breath. “I was just clarifying. We are strictly fake dating besties who have done some sexy stuff on the side, but will refrain from anything else sexy. I got it.”

“Good.” She swallows as she shifts her gaze back to the ceiling. “For me, no commitment is better. Then no one thinks I’m expecting anything from them.”

My brow furrows as I keep my head facing her. “Are you saying you don’t want to commit to anyone, or you don’t want anyone to commit to you?”

She chews her lip for a moment before whispering, “The latter.”

“Why? Anybody would be lucky to commit to you.”

She releases a sharp sound, shaking her head.

“What?”

“Ben, come on.”

I pick myself up on an elbow to look at her full-on. “You come on. I’m serious.”