Page 26 of Storm in a Teacup (Love in Edinburgh #3)

Ben

“All done here?” I ask the pair sitting at the table by the window. They give me yeses, so I clear their places and bring the dishes to the back, dropping them in the sink to be washed after we close.

I love owning this café, I do, but my ideal would be if I could hide in the back and bake all day, coming out only when I feel like a chat. However, when it’s just Isla and me, I have to be baker, runner, and busboy while Isla handles the front.

The bell over the door jingles, hopefully signaling our customers leaving and not new ones entering. I poke my head out of the kitchen door. Leaving, thank god.

I go back out front to wipe down the tables, getting a head start on closing procedures. I grab a lone mug sitting on a table as the clock hits 3 p.m. and Isla locks the door.

“You doing anything tonight?” she asks as she moves back behind the counter and to the register to start counting it out .

“I don’t think so,” I say, snatching a napkin from the floor and crumpling it to throw in the bin before I take the mug I’m holding to the back with the other dishes.

“Not seeing Linny?”

“Naw, she has a thing,” I fib. I have no idea what Linny is doing tonight.

I haven’t seen her since Isla and Rachel came over for dinner.

Since Linny and I snogged for a while and I asked how she’d like me to refer to her cunt in the bedroom.

Aye, that was an odd conversation to have with someone I am not trying to date.

Call it genuine curiosity—I had to know.

I snatch a discarded wooden stirrer from a table, tossing that in the bin as well, as Isla says, “Too bad. David’s working at Hoot tonight, so Rachel and I are gonna spend our evening there if you want to come.

” She moves on to the next stack of bills in the drawer, counting one by one and entering the amount in the computer.

“Oh. Erm, you know. I am seeing Linny tonight. I forgot,” I lie quickly.

“If she has a thing, maybe you can stop in for one drink? We’ll probably be there a while.” She moves on to the next set of bills, not glancing up at me.

I swallow. “We’re busy. I forgot,” I say again. “Her thing is tomorrow. We’re doing something tonight. As soon as we close and it’ll go until late.”

Isla moves onto the coins. “What are you doing?”

Why the hell is parasailing the first excuse that pops into my head? I can’t say that. Oh, fuck. I can’t think of anything else. My mind is blank.

Well, no, actually it’s yelling: Parasailing! Parasailing! Parasailing!

Isla is regarding me curiously. I need to say something .

“Having sex,” I finally say. Nice .

Isla props a hand on her hip and asks slowly, “You can’t get one drink with us tonight because you’re too busy having sex with your girlfriend?”

I raise my chin and say cheekily, “Aye. We’re very passionate.”

She rolls her eyes and goes back to the drawer. “Right. And this has nothing to do with the strange thing going on between you and David?”

“There’s no strange thing.”

Isla turns back to me. “What world are you living in? After avoiding him for months, you went to dinner with him like two weeks ago, then basically ignored him at your birthday, and now haven’t seen him since.

” She shakes her head. “David may not have told Rachel exactly what’s going on, but they still talk.

He’s heartbroken about whatever happened.

And you? You get weird whenever I bring him up, all stiff and sweaty.

I’m tired of it. I mean, you used to act like you were in love with him, and now you can hardly look at him. ”

The mug I’m holding slips from my hand, shattering on the floor. “Bollocks,” I swear.

I quickly pivot away, Isla calling after me, “Ben!”

“I have to fetch a broom!” I call back. I retrieve the broom and then begin to sweep up the broken ceramic.

“Ben,” Isla says again, softer.

I keep my focus on the broom, crouching over as I sweep the remnants of the mug into the dustpan. Isla crouches down with me, grabbing my wrist and saying one more time, “Ben.”

I look up at her, panic alighting my eyes.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, the realization dawning on her. “You’re in love with him. ”

I shake my head and say, “I’m with Linny,” like that removes David from the equation. Like that was even a true statement.

“Talk to me. Please.”

I sigh, pushing the broom and the dustpan full of broken mug to the side, dropping fully onto the floor.

I bring my knees up, resting my arms on them.

Without looking at her, I say, “Seven months ago, I told him I was in love with him. He does not feel the same. If his heart was broken, mine was shattered.” I glimpse up to see her shoulders sag.

“Shite.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Are you still…?”

“I’m trying to get past it.”

“Any luck?”

“Hard to say.” I offer a small smile that feels more like a grimace. “I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you I’m bi.”

She stretches forward, pushing my legs to the side to wrap her arms around me. “I love you and I accept you,” she says into my shoulder.

“Don’t make this a thing,” I groan, tolerating the hug.

She pulls away and meets my eye. “I love you and I accept you.” Then she shoves me and says, “Also, I knew. I’ve seen the way you look at Orlando Bloom.”

I throw my head back in a laugh that almost immediately dissolves into tears. When she came out to me back when she was a teenager, I told her I knew because I’d seen the way she looked at Keira Knightley. Goddamn her. “Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley,” I sob.

“Of course. The classic bisexual awakening.”

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” I say through the tears .

She cocks her head to the side. “What about David?”

“I didn’t come out really. I just told him about the love bit. You’re the first person I’ve said the word to. Bisexual.” I sniff loudly, so she snatches a stack of napkins from off the counter, chucking them at me. “Rachel knows too-ish. She saw me snogging some bloke behind a club.”

She scoffs. “Are you taking the piss? Rachel knows?”

“I asked her not to tell you. Don’t be cross.”

She points an aggressive finger at me. “Stop telling my girlfriend to keep your secrets from me. She’s too nice to betray your trust.”

“Fine. Linny knows as well, I guess, but again, I never said the word.”

She falls back to her arse on the ground, mirroring my position with her knees brought up and forearms resting on them.

“Well, even though it sounds like I’m actually the last to know, thank you for saying the word to me.

So, what about Linny? Are you sure you should be seeing her while you’re trying to get over someone else? ”

I exhale heavily. “I shouldn’t be. Which is why I’m not.”

“You broke up?”

“We were never dating in the first place.” I give her a quick rundown of our agreement and why we made it. “You can’t tell anyone, though. Please. Not even Rachel.”

Her jaw stiffens. “I don’t keep secrets from Rachel, Ben. Even for you. That’s where she and I differ.”

I look at her pleadingly. “I don’t want this to get out to David. Please, Isla.”

Her face grows soft. “Alright. But I can’t keep this secret forever.” Her fingers drum against her arm. “Okay, so you’re not dating Linny, but you’re snogging in the kitchen? Please tell me that was not for our benefit.”

“Don’t be a perv. No. It was an ill-advised moment of weakness. We agreed to not do that anymore.”

“Okay. Next question. Do you fancy her?”

“Of course I fancy her. Have you fucking met her? But I can’t . Not until this thing with David is through.” I shake my head. “And even then, she does not want to be in a relationship. With anyone. Ever. I don’t…I don’t want to fall for someone else who will not feel the same.”

She reaches out to squeeze my knee. “I get that. However, I will note, Rachel also convinced herself she was not looking to date. But then she met me and couldn’t help herself.”

I give half a smile. “Brag, why don’t you? I think you and Rach are a special case. Not everyone is as lucky as you.”

Isla weighs her head. “True.” She stands up, grabbing both my hands to pull me up with her. “Come on. We have to close. Then you are coming with me to Hoot. If you want to get over this David thing and be normal with him again, you have to spend time with him. Think of it as exposure therapy.”

I grip the broom tightly, knuckles turning white. “What if it has the opposite effect? What if I fall again?”

She tips her head sympathetically. “Then we’ll reevaluate. But if you want me to spend tonight pointing out his flaws, I can.”

“What flaws?”

“Well, for one, he talks about computers too much.”

“He’s getting a Ph.D. in Computer Engineering.”

“Exactly! What a bore. Everyone knows getting your Ph.D. is only cool if you’re a hot girl getting one in Marine Biodiversity.”

“Aka, your girlfriend.”

“Bingo.”

…

It takes the entire hour we are closing to convince me, but I finally agree to go to Hoot with Isla.

Though I still hesitate once we get to the red door leading down steep stairs to the bar.

I focus on the sign beside it, wondering if I’ll discover my fortune tonight: hoot the redeemer psychic palm readings crystal ball gazers waiting for you inside .

She gives me a considerate glance and says, “One drink, Ben. If you can’t stand to be in the same room as him, you can leave, but if you want to move back into normalcy with him, you have to at least try.”

My face falls. Goddamn her for being right.

I follow her down the stairs, letting her push through the door marked by a life-size psychic woman statue. When we walk in, my first thought is about how ridiculously dark it is in here. Linny would not be able to see very well, and I am annoyed on her behalf. To hell with ambiance, right?

Rachel is already here, sitting at the bar, sipping something bright green.

She beams when she sees Isla, hopping up from her stool and planting a long kiss on her lips.

So long, in fact, that I clear my throat loudly to remind them that they are not alone.

Rachel pulls away quickly, throwing a smile of apology my way.

Isla just looks annoyed with me as she uses a thumb to clean burgundy lipstick from the corner of Rachel’s mouth.

David is not behind the bar. Someone else is, but that’s okay. Gives me a second to settle in. I take the seat beside Rachel, Isla stealing the one on her other side, resting her foot on the bottom of Rachel’s stool.

I pull out my phone, opening up my chat with Linny as a reflex.

ME: Hi

OSCAR WILDE’S MOTHER: Hey. What’s up? You okay?

ME: Fine. Just thinking about you. And your cat

In response, she sends back a photo of Oscar Wilde on his back, clutching a toy mouse with his front paws.

OSCAR WILDE’S MOTHER: You better mean this cat. You’re sure you’re ok?

ME: I may have had a bit of a sob fest today. Isla knows about us now, btw

She sends back a new photo of Oscar, now curled in a ball on his cat tree.

OSCAR WILDE’S MOTHER: Do you want to talk about it?

ME: Yes, but I’m at Hoot. Isla is making me do ‘exposure therapy.’ Do you want to come by?

OSCAR WILDE’S MOTHER: Probably best to not bring your emotional support fake girlfriend to exposure therapy

OSCAR WILDE’S MOTHER: But text me later?

I frown at my phone, wishing she said yes, but understanding why she said no. I respond: Will do. Thank you, Lin

“Rachel, I’ve something to tell you,” I declare as I place my mobile face down on the bar. She swivels toward me, curious. “I’m bi.”

She grins like a maniac. “Are you? Welcome to the club!” She holds up her hand for a high-five, which I slap enthusiastically.

“What are we high-fiving about?” A deep voice asks.

David walks behind the bar, setting a black serving tray down as he does.

He’s in a fitted, deep green T-shirt with black trousers.

The new stubble on his face is shaped to perfection, as is the fade on the sides of his head, like he recently went to the barber.

The other bartender changes places with him, heading into the back.

I twist toward David and give him a small smile. I can be normal. Lifting my chin, I say, “I’m doing the coming out rounds. I’m bi.”

David looks thrilled, reaching across the bar to squeeze me on the shoulder. “Congrats, man. Thanks for telling me. Officially.”

I nod, throat tight.

Isla must sense my oncoming emotional detriment, because she cuts in and says, “Well, our little group is slowly filling out the alphabet. Not that Ben is adding to it.”

“Maybe I should start identifying as pan to add another letter?”

Rachel pokes my arm. “Only if that feels more right.”

“Naw. I think the B is right.”

“Bitch,” Isla says as though in confirmation.

I snort. “Exactly.”

David shakes his head at us, sticking a hand in his pocket to root around. He gestures for me to hold out my own hand, so I do, palm up. David drops two one-pound coins into my palm. “Go pick a flavor or two from the claw machine. Drinks on me.”

Hoot has a claw machine in the back of the bar with various mystery flavors for a pound each. It’s a fun thing to get if you want a random, cool drink.

“Thanks, sugar daddy,” I say, pushing myself up from my stool. I pause at that, eyes widening as I acknowledge the words that fell from my mouth. That was a very old-Ben thing to say.The words didn’t feel wrong coming out, but they do feel out of place. Forced, even though it was a slip.

However, David must not see it that way because he throws his head back in a laugh. “Wow, I missed you. Just go get your flavors.”

And with that, I think I can manage this.