Page 47 of Stockholm (Angel of Mercy #1)

The Kept

“ I don’t know, I think I miss Starbucks coffee the most.”

I laugh, throwing a handful of leaves at Bo’s face that triggers a smile to stretch across it.

“I agree, although Jesse really knows his way around the barista stand, so I can’t complain too much,” I add.

“I think I just miss feeling useful, you know? I always had so much to take care of and now I’m just useless here.

There’s not much to do with my time. It’s like a weird, permanent lazy day that isn’t ending. ”

He looks at me quizzically. “I know that’s not all you feel. Yeah, this situation is obviously weird, but it's not going to be like this forever.”

“Don’t you kind of miss just having a normal day at the bank together? Everything was just so…ordinary.”

He shrugs. “I wasn’t very happy. I spent most of my time running to the bar and looking for the next person to take home.

You obviously had no idea, but I always hated being so close to Eric.

Being dependent on him was fucking hell, like a constant thorn in my side reminding me of everything that happened and the shit he was holding over my head. ”

My heart throbs for him and the frown that now rests on his face. “I haven’t apologized yet for not seeing that something was wrong. I wish I’d known.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Em. You had no idea and I was great at hiding it.

It’s just second nature to smile, go out, get drunk.

It makes it so easy to cover things up if you look like you're having a good time.” He shrugs, smiling like the words aren’t cutting him on the inside.

“Then people just believe that you are.”

“I’ll take your word on that. It feels like I went right from the strictness of my parent’s house to being a wife. Eric was sweet to me but he was the only thing I had, my only link to a social life, to the real world. I just got so used to being by myself that I don’t know how else to function.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you looked like you were about to crawl out of your skin when I got you to go to the bar with me.”

I push his shoulder. “You abandoned me for Jesse.”

He bites his lip, running his hand through the grass and his hair falls into his eyes. I study his face, the face of my closest friend, and I don’t see any of the heaviness from before in him.

“He just charmed me so quickly, I was obsessed right away. I’ve never met someone so unafraid to be themselves, so comfortable in their skin. And god, he’s just like a walking aphrodisiac.” His head falls back and he’s grinning at me, and I can’t help but match his smile.

“He said he loved you, the other day,” I say, blushing at the mention of our group activity.

He nods, peeking over at me out of the side of his eye. “I’ve never been so sure that I’m meant to be with someone. He just fits me perfectly. Do you…do you feel okay talking about the other night?”

I bite my lip, nodding at the ground. “I think it’s a little hypocritical of me to do these things and be too shy to talk about them, right?”

He brushes my hair behind my ear, and pulls me in for a side hug. “No, honey, that’s just how you are. I get it. I think that’s something about you that Noah likes. That you’re kind of new to all of this. He seems… possessive .”

I can’t help the smile that forms. “He’s something.

I just can’t help but be kind of fixated, you know?

I’ve never met anyone like him in my life.

And I get he’s like… a kidnapper . I know.

But even with that, I just trust him completely.

He’s showing me things that Eric never did in our whole marriage. ”

Bo waggles his eyebrows. “I’ve noticed. I’ve had a front row seat to some of it.” He laughs, and I flush, covering my face.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. Not with me. You’ve seen the things Jesse does to me, I’m the last person on Earth who would ever judge you for what you like.”

I peek up at him, blinking away my embarrassment. He’s right. It’s Bo. My Bo. “So you…obviously like the way he handles you?”

He closes his eyes for a moment, a tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth and his head tilts toward mine.

Then he opens them up and nods. “Yeah. He handles me like he can’t get enough.

Like he’d burrow under my skin if he could.

And I just, ugh .” He throws his head back, reliving some kind of memory.

“I can’t get enough. I’ve never felt so right as I do when Jesse’s asking me to submit to him.

It’s just a feeling I can’t explain, but I want to do every fucking thing he tells me to do. ”

I listen raptly. “I think I understand. There’s this pleased little smile Noah gets when I do something he says, and I—I would do almost anything to make him look at me like that again.”

Bo lies back in the grass, looking at me sideways. “Totally understandable. There’s something in the genes of this family, they’re both disastrously beautiful.”

I nod, “Yeah, they’re kind of devastating aren’t they? Okay, I have one more question.”

Bo rolls his head to me. “You know you can just ask, Em.”

I glance down at him, my cheeks flaring.

“Do you…feel guilty at all about what we’ve…

you know, been doing? Sometimes when I’m with Noah I kind of stop thinking.

He makes it so I don’t feel bad about the new things I want to try.

Like wanting to touch everyone. Jesse and…

you.” I exhale loudly. “How do you people talk about this stuff? I’m about to jump out of my skin. ”

He grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers like he loves to do.

“I’m not judging you, if that’s what you’re worried about.

I think we just love each other, Em. Things have changed, but I’ve always needed to be there with you, ever since the beginning.

I’ve always wanted to see you happy and make you feel safe.

That’s still there, right? It’s just…an attraction that’s always been pushed down, I guess.

We just needed someone like Jesse to shove it in our faces. "

I bite my lip at his familiar smile. “I needed to make sure I wasn’t ruining things. I don’t want to lose you over something like this.”

“Don’t ever worry about that, I still love you the same. I’m glad you’re here with me, Em. I’d be so fucking lost if I didn’t have you.”

A loud screech of tires in the distance has us both sitting up at the same time, his hand grabbing mine as the birds take flight around us. My heart jumps to my throat.

Have they found me? What if it’s the police here to take us home? I take a step back before I can think. What if they hurt Noah?

The front door busts open as the sound of a revving engine gets closer, and Noah comes running out to scan the woods. He sees us frozen under a tree and stalks in our direction.

“Inside, now,” he snaps. “Bo get her upstairs in the safe room.” Bo nods, grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the house as I look back and see a black car speeding through the break in the trees up the driveway.

“Jesse!” Noah shouts, and he appears a moment later, stumbling onto the porch pulling a boot onto one foot with the grip of a gun locked in his teeth.

“Oh my god,” Bo says under his breath before shouting, “You’re going to shoot yourself. Get it out of your mouth!”

“Wait, it’s Patrick,” Noah says, stopping to watch as the car skids to a stop at the bottom of the porch stairs.

The clawing inside of me slows. Something’s wrong, but it’s not the police. They’re not here for Noah.

That’s not the reaction I should be having.

Bo looks to Jesse for guidance, who nods at the door. “Go inside.”

Bo tightens his hand on mine and tugs me onto the porch, but I trip up the stairs when the car doors open and Landon slides out of the passenger seat covered in blood .

“Bo, he’s hurt. Something’s wrong,” I whisper as we whip into the living room. Shaking him off, I run to peek out the window. “We can’t leave them out there! What if something happens?”

“They’ll be fine. They’re extremely well trained, Em. Just let them handle this and then we can harass them for information after.”

“Does Jesse tell you stuff? Noah’s like a lockbox. He doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Oh, yeah. I don’t know, maybe that’s because you’re the actual kidnapping target and I’m just like your plus one.”

My mouth falls open and he snickers, before we duck back around the curtain to watch. Landon pulls open the passenger door and Noah jumps in to help him lift Patrick, both swinging one of his arms over their shoulders to help him up to the house.

“He looks awful,” I say, my stomach churning.

The door kicks open and they bring him to the table, lifting him so that he’s sitting on the edge, his head lolling to the side.

“Stay with us,” Jesse says, slapping him in the face.

“Asshole,” Patrick slurs. “I’m not asleep. Keep your hands off my face.”

“Just checking.” Jesse turns for the cupboards and grabs a first aid kit.

Noah’s pulling Patrick’s shirt off. “What happened? You were watching Bundy today, yeah?”

Landon nods, his body starting to shake.

“We were watching from a distance, a few businesses over. We had the bug playing in the car so we could hear what they talked about. It just came out of nowhere . Before I could even look up the windows were breaking and we were being shot at. They just grazed me, but..”

He motions to Patrick, who’s got a hole in his arm. I’ve never seen a bullet wound in my life, and it’s not what I was expecting—but I still turn away, unable to handle the sight of the blood.

Jesse’s snapping on latex gloves from the first-aid kit and the noise has Bo’s eyes locked on him. “Bo, hold this gauze over the wound while I put the tourniquet on. ”

I watch helplessly as they work over him, working to clean up the blood and stop the flow. Noah calls his father to pass the info and have the organization’s doctor head to our house.

He hangs up and looks at Jesse. “He said not to remove the bullet, he’ll take care of it when he gets here.”