Page 42 of Stockholm (Angel of Mercy #1)

The Keeper

I almost slam the door behind me as I high-tail it out of the room, but at the last second block it with my boot. It’s not like she did anything to deserve this frustration.

Nothing but dig herself a comfortable little spot in my chest, so that I can’t stop thinking about her.

How reserved she can be, while somehow still trusting me enough to explore this carnal new side of herself with me as her witness.

How classy she looks on the outside when she really just craves me tearing her to pieces.

Even the way she says my fucking name .

This was supposed to be simple. Kidnap the girl, piss Eric off at the thought of her being used by the men of Mercy, and once he’s losing his shit, kill the motherfucker. Then kill all his friends, for good measure.

But, no. I can’t see how I’m supposed to continue this plan because she’s lodged herself inside me in a way I’ve never felt before.

Yes, I had needed to do some recon on Eric today, but I didn’t need to grab her cat.

And why did it have me seeing red to catch him entertaining some woman in the living room that Emma had kept put together for him?

Why is that what made me want to snap his fucking neck?

For disrespecting her. For focusing on getting his dick wet instead of his missing wife. Yeah, I know she’s being taken care of but he doesn’t.

Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I make a mental note to leave a Plan B on her nightstand. She’s cracking through all my control. I fucking never have sex without a condom on. But the way she’d surprised me with her request, I–I just…

I needed it. I needed her .

I stomp down the spiral staircase and see Jesse rummaging through the fridge, probably grabbing something for Bo’s sugar fixation. I see the plate of birthday cupcakes on the table and my stomach sinks further. I’d just made it so much worse, giving into her and fucking her on her birthday.

No, it hadn’t been fucking. It had been more than that.

I shouldn’t have done it. I should have at least stopped the second I saw that tear roll down her cheek.

It’s gonna fucking mean something to her. I’m what, the second guy she’s been with? I’m sure of it. And now I’ve gone and played right into her puritan fantasy about sex and how it means things and fuck knows what else.

It makes it worse because it does. I can feel it taking root in me, the way she’s tangling herself in every thought of mine.

I grab a cigarette and throw the pack down on the counter, the noise pulling Jesse’s head from the refridgerator.

“Trouble in paradise? We could hear you two all the way in Bo’s room and the sounds she was making were hot as f—”

“Shut the fuck up,” I order, pointing the cigarette at him. “I don’t want to hear a word about it.”

He smirks, turning away. “Okay, okay. I won’t mention anything about you falling in love with our little captive.”

“Jesse, I swear to fucking Christ this is not the time,” I say, standing up and moving for the door.

He follows me and lights up a cigarette of his own. We sit in silence for a moment while I force my heartbeat to return to normal.

“In a few months, I’m going to slaughter her husband.

” I turn to Jesse, my voice raised high enough that it surprises him.

“The man she’s married to, who she wanted kids with.

I don’t know how I’m going to let her go when this is done.

She’s obviously not going to want to stay here once it sinks in for real that we’re fucking murderers. ”

“Man, she already knows that. She’s already so far gone for you I don’t know why you’re acting like this.”

“She doesn’t know shit. She’s got no idea what kind of blood is on my hands, or how I don’t feel bad about a single one of my marks. Not one. How I’ll love watching the light go out of her husband’s eyes. You don’t think that will scare her?”

He huffs. “No, dumbass. Thanks to you, she’s scared of what would have happened to her if she’d stayed.

” Shrugging, he puffs his cigarette. “You’re right, John Bundy doesn’t share when he wants something.

She’d be on her way to his den of servants by now if we hadn’t stepped in.

What we did was the right thing. Don’t fuck it up by letting your issues ruin it. ”

“I don’t have issues,” I snap, then take a shaky breath. “Even if I do, this is real shit. I shouldn’t let her get attached to me, knowing what’s coming.”

Jesse shakes his head, looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot.

“You’re too late. I’m telling you. You’ve got this girl wrapped around your finger and it’s beyond obvious.

I don’t understand, we were all having a good time just last night and you were fine with being with her then. What’s the issue now?”

I shake my head, hanging it in between my knees. “I had her. She wanted me to fuck her. And instead of just fucking her, I wanted to stay. I wanted to keep her like that, like how she looked at me just now. And I know I’m going to ruin it.”

Jesse says nothing, and I shake my head. This loss of the control I grip so tightly is making it hard to fucking breathe. I can’t tell if it’s panic at wanting to be with her or fear of not having her to myself.

Back inside, I stand in the hallway for a few minutes, trying to decide which room to sleep in. I hear Jesse coming up the stairs behind me, and I turn, opening the door to my room and locking it behind me.

Collapsing in my bed, I drown in thoughts of a girl in a sundress.