Page 66 of Stay With Me

“I’m so sorry, Nick. I tried.”

Chapter Sixteen

Nick

When Nick had casually mentioned his engagement to Chase, Chase had responded by snarkily retorting that he could kiss his sex life goodbye.

“Once you’re married,” he’d declared. “They stop putting out. Mark my words.”

But Chase had been wrong, and by the time Nick and Sammie’s second anniversary had come and gone, they were still having lots and lots of sex.

However, as time passed, it had quickly morphed into an entirely different kind of sex.

Gone were the days of heated make-out sessions on the couch that progressed to hours of blissfully exhausting sex.

Now sex was a mission; a scheduled, planned out, carefully orchestrated means to an end.

And month after month, the end evaded them. But they’d continue to try, in spite of crushing frustration.

They both went to doctors, and both received a shrug and the assurance that nothing was wrong. Keep trying. Stay healthy. Try not to get stressed out.

Don’t get stressed out was far easier said than done. And the stress created a strain, and the strain seemed to result in a chasm of stilted discomfort between them.

When they arrived home in the evening, Sammie quietly prepared dinner while Nick perched on a stool by the bar with his phone, skimming over real estate and glancing at the news, mentally noting that the nationwide recession was getting worse and Austin remained unaffected. They’d eat together, engaging in brief, polite conversation, and then he’d clean up while she prepared herself in the bedroom. Then he’d join her, take care of the task at hand, and afterward she’d flip onto her side while he’d read the news on his phone again.

In late July that year, they’d been disappointed yet again and Sammie began crying every time they’d finished having sex. At first, Nick didn’t notice something was wrong. She’d go into the bathroom and run the water, then reemerge with a damp looking face and red eyes, but blamed her allergies and went to sleep. After a few nights of that, he realized it wasn’t the case and attempted to ask her about it. She tearfully explained she was frustrated so he wrapped her up in his arms and let her cry herself to sleep while he held her.

Nick wasn’t the crying type, but that moment almost brought him to tears as well. It was becoming clear they were fighting a losing battle and he started to worry that they might end up losing each other in the process.

The final straw was one evening in August. He was on the cusp of …finishing,and she had her arms squeezed around his back while her face was buried in his neck. He was momentarily pleased, thinking Sammie was actually going to …finishas well. It had been a while since that had happened.

Unfortunately, he heard the distinctive sound of her sniffling so he immediately stopped and sat up, then scooped her into his lap, and kissed the top of her head.

He let her cry for a few minutes while he rubbed her arms and back, and shushed her soothingly. Eventually, he lifted her chin to make her look at him.

“We can’t do this anymore,” he said gently, but firmly.

Her breath hitched and she shook her head. “We have to. There’s nothing wrong with either of us. If we quit now, we’ll never have a baby.”

“It’s not working, sweetheart,” he insisted, still gentle, still firm. “There are other ways to do this—”

“Like what,Nick?” she shouted as she leaped out of his lap. “Adoption? A surrogacy? I’m not doing that!”

“Sammie, we’ve been at this for two and a half—”

“I know how long it’s been!”

With that, she slammed herself into the bathroom.

And that’s when Chase’s little declaration about sex and marriage proved to be true.

It was also when Sammie went on her second hiatus from talking to him.

Well, she didn’t stop talking to him completely,but things were off—much worse than before. So Nick decided they needed a new project. Something to take their minds off the disappointment of surrendering to what would likely be a childless marriage.

He’d been watching the real estate market for some time. His initial plan was to move forward with purchasing a house as soon as they were expecting, but since that was obviously not in the cards, it was time to take the plunge anyway.

In a bit of a positive twist, just as he made the decision to start actively looking, a demolition had been planned for an old office complex on Courtyard Drive. It was famous for having one of the best views in the city, one that overlooked both downtown and the rolling hills along highway three-sixty, including the iconic Pennybacker Bridge over Lake Austin. The space would be divvied up into residential properties so Nick decided this was going to be the site of their dream home.