Page 5 of Stat: Love In Scrubs

O n the ride home from Little Angels Academy, all I could think about was Liz or Ms. Sinclair. Esa had spoken about her on multiple occasions. Not once did I think she was talking about the woman I fucked in the club. I think if anyone else was in this situation, they would think the same.

Seeing her again was a pleasant surprise. The way her ass swayed when she walked ahead of us reminded me just how full her ass felt within my palms. If I hadn’t been there for my daughter, that meeting would have gone a different way. I was sure of it by the heat in her eyes when they met mine.

“Daddy, did you hear me?” Esa asked from the backseat.

I cleared my throat and glanced through the mirror to see her staring up at me intently.

“I’m sorry, Bean. What did you say?”

She released a breath like I was getting on her nerves and she was tired of repeating herself. I held back my laugh as I waited for her to repeat herself.

“I said I love Ms. Sinclair and wasn’t she pretty?” she asked.

I chuckled and nodded. “Yes, she is pretty, but my question is, why are you going to this program pretending like you don’t feel good if you love Ms. Sinclair?” I asked, flipping the attention back to her.

I peeped in my rear-view mirror once more to see her lean back against her car seat, then cross her arms while looking out of the window.

I had learned a long time ago to give her the time to think through her answers.

We had long since come to the understanding that she could express her feelings without consequences, as long as she was honest and respectful.

“Ms. Sinclair isn’t my teacher, and I wanted to be with you.

All you do is work, and I get it. I am supposed to share you with other people so we can have a house, but I want time with you.

Don’t you miss me, too?” she asked, speaking with the kind of clarity that reminded me she was growing up, whether I was present for it or not.

At six years old, she already understood sacrifice better than most adults.

I glanced up in the mirror, and her large brown eyes were staring back at me, pleading for me to feel the same way.

My chest felt heavy. If only she knew how much I missed being with her.

My hands tightened around the wheel. If only she knew how much I missed her, how much the hospital stole from us both.

I just found myself on a mission that I felt not many others could achieve.

“Of course, I miss you, Bean. If I could play hooky and hang with you all day, I would do that every day to spend my time with you.”

Initially, I was heading to my parents’ place so I could return to work, but something told me my daughter needed this time with me.

Once I made it to the light that I would usually take to drop her off at my parents, I passed it and made my way back to my place so I could change.

If we were both taking a break from our usual day, we needed to be dressed comfortably. More so me.

I was still in my scrubs, so I needed to get changed for the day I had planned.

“Daddy, we’re going home?” Esa asked from the backseat.

“For a minute, I need to change my clothes, then for the remainder of the day it’s going to be me and you.”

Esa did a little dance in her seat, and her smile got bigger.

This was what I lived for, and I would do everything in my power to make sure she felt loved.

It was the one thing I promised myself when her mother passed; I needed to choose her, even over my desire to be the chief of Obstetrics. She was my main concern.

Once we made it home, I got Esa comfortable, then jogged up the stairs to shower and change. My phone vibrated against the top of my dresser as I got dressed. I pulled my shirt over my head and rushed over to answer, noticing it was my mom calling.

“Hey, Ma.”

“Son. We just wanted to check on you since you were supposed to be here not too long ago. We wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

I placed the call on speaker, then walked over to the drawer to grab a new pair of socks.

“Sorry about that. I went up to grab Esa like I told y’all I would, and her little butt was just fine. Ms. Sinclair suggested that maybe we have some time with just us two,” I told her.

“I love to hear that. Next time, let your mother know when there’s a change in plans. I just knew something had gone wrong.”

I glanced back at the phone with a shake of my head, but I understood where she was coming from.

“I hear you. I’ll make sure I keep you updated, but I’m getting ready to head out. I’ll talk to you later. Enjoy your day, Mom.”

“You too, Son. Make sure you give my Esa a kiss for me.”

I smiled and let her know I would. I took another ten minutes to finish getting dressed, then made my way downstairs to the living room.

Esa was on the couch watching The Proud Famil y.

I leaned against the entryway wall with a smile as she giggled at something Oscar did to Suga mama.

Her laugh was so infectious that I found myself chuckling along with her.

My laughter alerted her to my presence, causing her to slide from the couch with wide, expectant eyes. She wrapped her arms around my waist, and I followed suit, wrapping my free arm around her.

“You ready to have fun?” I asked.

She nodded erratically, her twists swung around her shoulder, and her barrettes clacked against one another.

“Alright then, Bean. Let’s head out.” I told her, ushering her toward the front door.

The drive to Legoland was eventful. We sang all of Esa’s favorite songs and talked about all the things she wanted to do when we got there. It had been a minute since I saw my daughter this excited, which wasn’t something I liked to admit.

It let me know that Ms. Sinclair might have been right about her missing me.

It was a crazy thought since we lived in the same damn house, but this was the life I chose when I became a doctor.

Veronica and I knew this was what we needed to be prepared for before we decided to try for Esa.

We thought over every pro and every con when it came to bringing her into this world.

The thing we never thought about was Veronica not being here.

I tried to rid myself of the thought. I didn’t want my feelings about Veronica’s death to ruin the time I spent with Esa.

“Are we there yet, daddy?” she called out from the backseat.

I peered up in the rearview mirror, spotting Esa leaning out the window with a big smile.

“Almost!” I told her.

She did a little shimmy in her seat, causing me to laugh.

Another ten minutes went by before we pulled into the parking lot.

I found a space in the packed parking lot, then we made our way to the ticket booth.

I held Esa’s hand the entire way. If the way she skipped in here and the smile on her face was an indication that she was excited, I don’t know what was.

Once we had everything we needed, we made our way inside, and they had all kinds of things for kids to enjoy.

“Daddy! Today is the best day of my life,” she announced, then did a little spin.

I shook my head and laughed.

“Is that so?” I asked her.

She nodded. We had gone on at least four different rides, and I watched as she played with different Lego sets before I took her to get a snack from the concession stand.

We were now seated at one of the picnic tables as she licked her ice cream cone.

Bits of ice cream coated the corners of her mouth and her cheeks.

The sugar had made her cheeks rosy, and she kept bouncing in her seat, making the picnic table wobble with each excited movement.

I was just glad she was having a good time.

“I want to do more stuff like this.”

I tilted my head to the side, listening intently to what she had to say.

“You don’t do things like this with Grandma and Papa?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I want to do them with you.”

She didn’t have to say more. I heard her loud and clear. Just as I was about to reply, my phone buzzed, stopping all communication briefly. I reached into my pocket and realized it was the hospital. It had to be an emergency because they knew I had left because my daughter was not feeling well.

I quickly answered. “Dr. Wilder.”

“Hey Doc, I hate to interrupt you, and I hope Esa is feeling better. Your clients, the Johnsons, are here, and she has gone into early labor. We’re trying to slow it down, but she has been asking for you.

If you can’t come in, we can let her know someone else on staff is just as qualified, but when it comes to childbirth, while being black.

She’s scared and asking for you specifically.

You know how it is—when they’re already high-risk, trust matters more than anything. ”

I nodded, although I knew she couldn’t see me. I knew what I was doing the moment she told me they were trying to slow down the arrival of Mrs. Johnson’s baby. She was already a high-risk pregnancy, and the baby trying to come this early wasn’t the best.

“You don’t have to make up an excuse. I’ll be there as soon as possible. I need to call my mother so she can get Esa. Thanks for calling.”

I returned my attention to Esa, who now held a somber expression. I hated that yet again my job had cut our time short. I also held an obligation to my clients. They trusted me when I told them I would be there. Not to mention, this was a life-or-death situation.

“I’m sorry, Bean. We’re going to have to cut things short. Daddy has an emergency at work. Another mommy needs my help with giving birth to her baby.”

Esa’s eyes fell flat. The vibrant little girl I had been running around with today was no longer present.

“Can’t someone else help the mommy?” she asked quietly, not looking at me. “Just this once?”

The hope in her voice nearly broke me. “I wish they could, baby. But this mommy asked for me specifically, and sometimes...” I trailed off, realizing there was no way to explain this that wouldn’t hurt her more.