Page 22 of Stat: Love In Scrubs

A FEW DAYS LATER…

I t had been a few days since Yara’s Academy had caught fire.

After further research, it was found that the wiring in one of her teacher’s break rooms caught fire.

No one was hurt, which everyone was grateful for.

From the inspection that was done, I knew her insurance would cover the cost of getting the place fixed.

But she had gone radio silent, understandably so.

I wanted to spend more time with her, but I had already pushed back my time of going to work on more than one occasion. Which wasn’t like me, but I did it for her. I could see from a mile away that she needed someone to be at her side.

“Paging Dr. Wilder. Paging Dr. Wilder. Please head to the receptionist’s desk.” Sounded over the speaker on my floor.

I finished with my patient and made my way to the desk.

The nurse handed me a note from Mrs. Hamilton.

I didn’t have to assume or guess why she wanted to see me.

I nodded in her direction, then let her know if they needed me to page me personally.

Then I went toward the elevators and made my way to her office.

I knocked twice and waited a moment for her to let me in.

She stood behind her desk and gestured to the chair in front of her. “Please have a seat, Dr. Wilder.”

I nodded, then took the seat in front of her.

“I just wanted to check in with you and see if everything has been alright. We’ve noticed a slight change in your work ethic.”

I leaned back slightly, schooling my face before I spoke. A dozen responses pressed at the back of my tongue—defensive, sharp—but I swallowed them down. I told myself to keep my composure.

“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but my work ethic is still the same.

I am still giving my patients everything that I have.

I’ve just been making time for my family as well.

We’ve had a few emergencies come up, but I had someone to cover me for those gaps,” I told her, in the most professional tone I could muster.

Her brow raised, and then she leaned back into her seat.

“I’m going to be straightforward with you.

To truly give your all to this and the position you’re up for, it’s going to take giving up some things.

We know that, so I’m going to ask you again.

Do you want this position? And I don’t want an answer now.

I want you to think about it and come back within a week with your response. ”

“Understood. I wanted to ask you a question, since I am here.”

She was shuffling through folders on her desk, but stopped to look up at me.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“Does the hospital still offer grants to community programs that align with the hospital's values?”

She laid the folders in her hands against the desk, then clasped her hands in front of her.

“We do. Did you have someone in mind?”

I nodded, then went into details about Yara’s business and what they offer. Mrs. Hamilton listened without interruption until I finished. She smiled up at me.

“Wow, how long has Esa been going to the program, and do you think it has benefited her?”

“My baby was beyond reserved and into herself, but as the months go on, she has opened herself up. I have reassured her, but they offered the key puzzles I didn’t realize she needed. Not to mention, most of the people in the program have experienced the same loss. Including the founder.”

Mrs. Hamilton crossed her arms against her chest and tilted her head to the side.

“You speak so highly of Ms. Sinclair; she must be an amazing woman.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her and the passion she had for this business.

“The best. There’s no one in this world like her, and this hospital couldn’t find a better person to connect with in this manner.

Not to mention, we would continue to build trust with the doctors here and the community.

You know we have good people here, but if the community can’t see that, it wouldn’t matter,” I told her.

“I hear you. You don’t have to convince me; give her my card and have her reach out so we can schedule a meeting. Oh, and I am going to assume she is also the one we’re competing with for your attention, huh?” she asked.

I couldn’t hold back my smirk as I stood from my chair. I shrugged and made my way towards the door.

“I don’t know if competing is the word I would use, but she is definitely a vital part of my decision. But it won’t be because of her, more of what she and Esa represent to me. Not to mention what I want my legacy in life to be.”

“I can’t argue with that. Well, don’t let me keep you from your patients, and I look forward to hearing your final answer.

I hate to say this, but I selfishly hope you choose this position; however, if you don’t, I understand that as well.

Some of us here aren’t as lucky to find love twice in the way you have. ”

I couldn’t respond. Love had never crossed my mind.

Was I in love? Or was I infatuated with the idea of a future with her?

Addicted to the way she made me feel, enraptured in her beauty and her mind, in the way she handled my daughter.

Damn, maybe love was close to what I felt for her, but it felt like more than the word itself.

The thoughts of Yara took precedence in my mind the entire way back to the Obstetrics floor. It took a few hours before I could head to my overnight room for the night. When you worked a 24-hour shift, you had a place to lay your head to catch a nap before being called up again.

When I closed the door behind me, the first person I called was Yara. I wanted to make sure she was good and that she had everything she needed. It rang a few times until her sweet tone came through.

“Hello, Dr. Wilder, how can I help you?” she asked.

“I can’t call and check in on you, baby? You haven’t missed me today?”

“Missed, isn’t the word. You’re worried about me when you’ve been on your feet all this time,” she pointed out.

I ran a hand down my face and then cleared my throat. I pulled my phone from my ear and then tapped the FaceTime logo next to her name.

“Answer, I need you to see my face when I say this.”

I waited a moment, and she answered. She is lying in bed with a bright pink bonnet covering her hair. She has a tired smile on her face, but I can still see the strain behind it all.

“You’re my heart, Baby. I don’t take matters of the heart like a joke. I don’t care if I was out without a thing to my name, I’m always going to want to make sure you’re straight. You hear me?”

“I hear you, Love.”

I smiled. “That’s more like it. Now tell me about your day. I want to hear everything, regardless of what it is. All I’ve been looking at is pregnant bellies all day.”

“I would say that’s pretty fascinating, wouldn’t you?” she asked.

“Always. But I still find what you have to say the most sensational thing of my day. So, stop beating around the bush and tell me about your day.”

Yara released a breath, then pulled the covers tighter around her as if a breeze wafted into her room.

“I talked with my insurance. They’re going to fix the damage since it’s no one's fault. Things just happened the way they did. But it’s not going to be fixed quickly, and we had a little problem before the fire.

One of my donors dropped out. It was no fault of mine, just that they had to let some of their donations go, and we happened to be on the chopping block. ”

She released a breath as if talking about this was putting a strain on her.

“Anyway, Darby came by. She is actually still here. No one is letting me have a moment alone. I mean, I appreciate it, but I also want to be able to cry without feeling like I have to feel better instantly. You know what I mean?” she asked.

I nodded, recalling the days after my wife died.

“I understand more than you could imagine.”

I stood and turned off the lights in the room before grabbing my blanket from the side table to lie down.

“Let me hear it. I can’t be the only one sharing my deepest, darkest secrets.”

I chuckled. “Was that really a dark secret, Baby? We all know you want us to leave you alone.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled her blanket down a little to show me she meant business.

“I’m fucking around. I got you, Boss lady.” I cracked.

“Keep it up, Desmond,” she warned.

I loved the sound of my name rolling off her tongue. I didn’t mind her calling me Doc, but it felt better when she switched up.

“A’ight, I got you. Nah, but all jokes aside.

After Veronica died, it was that way for me.

I had a fresh infant that I didn’t know what the fuck to do with.

My parents moved in temporarily, and I thanked God profusely for them.

But some days I wanted to sit in my room and shed those tears that I deserved.

But when the people around you love you, they don’t want to see you that way. ”

“I can’t imagine it. You know it was different for me in that situation.

I was the baby who just missed the touch of her mother.

It wasn’t until I got older that I started to notice all the things I didn’t have but other kids did.

It wasn’t until Maria came around that I truly noticed how much I hadn’t missed.

My dad had filled in as many spaces as he was physically and mentally capable of doing.

It’s one of the reasons I will always have a special place in my heart for my dad.

For Maria. The people left behind after a situation like that have so many variables.

Especially since my situation could have been avoided. ”

The last line was news to me. We hadn’t talked about this in depth as we were tonight. But I was happy she felt comfortable enough to share.

“The doctor blatantly ignored my mom and her discomfort. So did the nurses. I want to say the knowledge differed from what you have today. But, according to my dad, my mom told them on more than one occasion that she wasn’t feeling right.

Her numbers even showed things were off, but they wanted her bed at the hospital.

Long story short, I didn’t have to lose my mother, but negligence took her. ”

I hated to hear stories like this. It’s why I went so hard when it came to my job. Although I understood I wasn’t God, I wanted to make sure I did everything I could. And that my head was on straight when it came to doing my job.

“I hate to hear that. It’s one of the reasons I go so hard in my position.

I in no way believe I am God. But I like to make sure I handle what I can.

When Veronica passed, I can say from a doctor’s point of view, there was nothing he could do.

She had an underlying health issue neither of us was aware of.

It was something dormant within her body.

The stress of giving birth allowed it to rise and caused her to pass.

I was hurt, but it wasn’t a medical mishap. ”

“I always wondered if I would have been able to accept, she was gone easier if it was no one’s fault, if I had no one to blame,” she finally spoke.

“Would you really have had no one to blame, though? It’s human to want an outlet for pain.

If it isn’t the doctor, it’s God. I went there for a while myself.

My mom checked me quickly. She reminded me that God isn’t the one taking life—He’s the one welcoming us home when our time here is done.

But that only makes sense if you’ve built a relationship with Him. ”

“I hear you. I guess we say all this to say. It’s okay to feel.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, Baby. It’s alright to feel, but you can’t stay there. Soon, it’s going to be time to get up and make some things shake.”

Yara groaned and then smiled. “Okay, if I have to be a grownup, let’s save it for tomorrow.”

I shook my head as my eyes began to get heavy. “Good, because you have an opportunity to obtain a grant with the hospital for the Academy. I’ll make sure you get this number, but I need you to pull out all of your best shit.”

“Wait, what?” she asked.

Her voice perked up, so I peeled open my eyes to look at her.

“I may or may not have talked to the hospital director about you. I didn’t bring up the fire; I’ll leave that up to you, but I talked about the school and what it has done for Esa. She’s interested in hearing more, but from you.”

“Let me find out this pussy got you pulling strings,” she teased.

I laughed. This woman is out of control.

“Don’t let the director hear you saying that. But if you must know, you could have it all after I tasted that muthafucka.”

“Mmm… Dr. Wilder, that’s what I like to hear, big daddy.” She moaned playfully, causing my dick to harden.

“You better cut that shit out and go to bed. You gone have me walking around all these pregnant women with a hard dick.”

“You better not!” she exclaimed, then laughed.

“I’m just letting you know. Now close your eyes so I can get at least ten minutes of sleep. I’m sure these folks gone be paging me soon. I got a few possible babies coming into the world tonight.”

“Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

“You don’t have to thank me, baby. But you’re welcome. If I have it, so do you. Now close your eyes.”

I watched as she slowly lowered her eyelids with a smile.

“Goodnight, Dr. Love.”

“Goodnight, Boss lady.”

I chuckled and fell asleep for a short while with her still on the phone. If this was my new normal, giving it all up wasn’t an option. Not again .