Page 42 of Starting Over with You (Beer League Belles #2)

CHAPTER

THIRTY-NINE

Dean

Well, damn. Kenni is spitting mad.

She looks like a dream in boots as she taps her foot out in front of the Thirsty Pine.

I drink her in, the way her jeans hug her thick thighs and sweet ass.

When she sees me, her eyes narrow, and I can’t help but chuckle.

I don’t know why she’s pissy, but damn if she isn’t the cutest with her nose wrinkled and fire in her eyes.

I pull in, gravel kicking up as I roll down the window to send her a flirty grin. “Hey, good lookin’, need a ride?”

She glares, throwing open the door and getting in with a huff.

She shuts the door with a slam and leans back to cross her arms over her chest. I watch her for a moment, and then I lean across to grab her seat belt and put it on her.

The click has her eyes cutting to mine. “You’re looking mighty fine, darlin’.

” I kiss her lips. “And you smell like the inside of a Fireball bottle.”

Oh, she’s fighting hard not to grin. “We need to talk.”

“Talk, darlin’. I’m all yours.” I pull out of the lot. “How drunk we feeling? Do I need to get my hat? ”

“Stop messing around,” she snaps, and I know if I smirk at her, she might smack me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I tap my fingers against the steering wheel as I drive. “Tell you what?”

“Everything!” she yells, her hands flying up. “Why did I have to hear that when you came and got Missy pregnant, it was with my name on your lips?”

I grimace a bit. Not my finest moment. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” I say honestly as I drive home. “I could lie and say I knew I was fucking Missy, but I didn’t. I truly convinced myself it was you.”

She lets out a yelp. “That is so fucked up.”

“Who you telling?” I ask, shaking my head. “I wasn’t okay.”

I feel her staring at the side of my face, but I’m unable to look at her.

“I had just lost Granny, and you showed up at the funeral with two little boys on your hips who didn’t look like me.

Then my sister was getting married, and I just felt lost.” She doesn’t say anything, her silence scaring me a bit.

I clear my throat as I pull into my driveway.

I put the SUV in park, then lean back in the seat, spreading my legs.

“I didn’t mean to use Missy like that, but I was a fucking fool and so damn drunk. Not a good excuse, but it’s the truth.”

“You didn’t apologize to her?”

I snort. “No. I hoped she didn’t hear me. But when she told me she did, she gave me no time to apologize. She lit into me, telling me that you were married and that you’d never be mine. It pissed me off, and I shut down.”

I chance a glance to find her eyes wide, her lips parted ever so slightly. Our eyes lock. Her chest rises and falls with such vigor, I worry she’s internally freaking out. I mean, hell, with how wild her eyes are, I think she is. “How long?”

“How long?” I repeat, and her eyes narrow.

“How long have you liked me?”

I can’t help it; a chuckle leaves my lips, which only pisses her off more. “ Like . That’s cute. ”

She lets out a sharp breath and then clutches her throat as my eyes burn into hers. “Darlin’, I’ve been in love with you since before you ever asked if I was going to kiss you or not.”

Her lips part at that. “We were kids.”

“Yeah, and I knew you were it for me.”

“Dean—”

“What?” I ask, unsure why I sound so irritated.

“I fell damn hard for you, I think maybe I loved you before that, maybe when we kissed for the first time. But I knew for sure in that moment.” Once more, the silence is tense, but neither of us looks anywhere but at each other.

I take in her flushed face, her ruby-red lips, and the rapid movements of her chest. I wonder if she sees the hearts in my eyes, if she sees how fucking in love with her I am.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Her voice is heavy with emotion, her eyes flooding with tears.

I shrug. “We both were grounded after we got caught, and then you went off to college. Next thing I know, you’re knocked up.”

A tear rolls down her cheek, and she wipes it away quickly. “You never made me think you were into me. It always felt like I was your little sister.”

I snort at that. “I was scared shitless of Sadie and Missy.” She blinks and I laugh.

“You remember that time we went to the fair?” She nods, another tear falling, but once again she wipes it before I can get to it.

“They took a photo of us, and I was staring at you like I always do. You didn’t notice because you were inhaling a funnel cake. ”

She lets out a very unladylike snort, and I grin. “Funnel cakes are life.”

“Watching you eat one is an erotic experience,” I tell her, and her eyes darken.

“There was no way I could look away. And once Missy was shaking the Polaroid, I saw the moment they knew I was into you. They glared at me, and when you went to the bathroom, they told me it couldn’t happen because I was leaving for college and they wouldn’t let me break your heart.

” She presses her lips together and looks away. “I wouldn’t have, by the way. ”

“I know,” she whispers as her eyes fall shut. “I just wish you would have said something.” I nod and watch as she wipes her face free of tears again. “We have both been miserable for so long, and that was completely avoidable.”

“Maybe. But what if we were too young?” I ask since that is something I have pondered over the years. “What if we needed this time? What if, now that we have this chance, we’ll treasure each other even more?”

Another tear falls, and I reach out, wiping it away with my thumb before she can. She shifts her eyes to mine, and I smile. “I would wait for you my whole life, KenniLeigh.”

More tears stream down her face as she slowly shakes her head. “But if you had made the move earlier, then I wouldn’t be this broken woman with baggage.”

I blink. “You’re not broken.”

She digs her fingers into her eyes, and a sob bursts from her lips.

“What was supposed to be a quick divorce is turning into hell on wheels. I don’t even know how to love after years of thinking I was in love with a man who was cheating on me for so long.

I poured my whole self into my boys, just so I didn’t feel what he was doing to me.

I mean, hell, Dean. How can you say that I’m anything but broken? ”

Unable to handle what she is saying, I take her by her arms and drag her toward me. Her ass lands on my lap, and I wrap my arms around her neck to press my forehead to hers. Her eyes are clenched shut, her makeup and tears running down her gorgeous face. “Open your eyes, darlin’.”

She swallows before doing as I ask. Her eyes are so sad that I feel my own burning with tears.

“Your dad told me tonight that you wasted your best years on that man, but I don’t see it that way.

” Her eyes widen, and I nod. “Yeah, he knows. And you know what I told him? I told the only man I’ve ever feared that the best years of your life will be the ones we have together.

” Another sob breaks free, and I squeeze her closer, her fingers coming up to clench my thin tee.

“There is absolutely nothing broken about you. You are strong, you are resilient. You stayed with a man so that your boys had a father. You got your education and worked, without anyone knowing. You walked away on your terms and kicked him right in the balls. You made sure your boys are set for life. You came home, not with your tail between your legs, but with your head held high and ready to live for you .” Her lip wobbles, and I kiss it softly. “Kenni, I am in awe of you.”

She strokes her fingers over the stubble along my jaw. “You waited for me.”

“I did, and I always will.”

“You were lonely.”

“But knowing I’d have you one day was enough.”

Another tear slips down her cheek. I wipe it away, and so much love comes over her face. “I would have chosen you,” she whispers, and my heart explodes in my chest.

“Choose me, darlin’. Every day.”

Her tears fall even faster as she looks down at my lips. She pulls in a deep breath through her nose, and I don’t know why she still looks so unsure. “Kenni?—”

She shakes her head, cutting off my words. “I need to throw up, so I’m gonna go do that. I need to think.”

My brows slam together. “About what?”

She shrugs. “Everything?” she asks with a hiccup. “I am so overwhelmed by this, and I don’t know what to think.”

I hold her gaze. “Know that I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” she says before throwing the door open and sliding off my lap. “I don’t want you to, but I’m scared I’m not good enough for you.”

“You’re too good for me,” I say without hesitation.

Her eyes flash with love, and I’m breathless. “We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

I hesitate. “Yeah, I don’t like this at all.”

She hiccups, then swallows. “Give me a few.”

Against my better judgment, I agree. “Only if you promise to sleep in our bed. ”

She burps and then sends me a smirk. “Our bed?”

“ Our ,” I vow, and she nods. I go to follow her, to make sure she gets settled and maybe hold her hair as she pukes, but then the radio sounds.

“Cap, we have a situation out at Reindeer Rumpus Ranch. Sebastian has fallen and is asking for you.”

Fuck. I look over at her just as she smiles. “I’m okay. Go.”

“You sure? I can act like I didn’t hear it,” I say with a wink. Both of us know I wouldn’t do that, no matter how badly I want to.

“Go.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

She shrugs. “It’s a lot to process, Dean August Moore.” My lips turn up sheepishly, and she says, “Text me when you get back so I know Big Seb and you are okay. If I don’t answer, it’s ’cause I passed out.” I scoff and she smiles. “Goodnight, baby.”

Fuck, should I say it? I hold her gaze, but I feel like I can’t. Not yet. She has to know—I mean, I admitted it—but I can’t say it now. Not when she’s drunk and confused. “Sweet dreams, darlin’.”

I watch Kenni go toward the house as I tell dispatch I’m on my way. When she gets to the door, she turns to look at me and sends me a weak little smile. Emotion burns in my chest, and I wish I had said those three words.

I’ve been so damn scared to tell her how I feel. I finally owned up to it, yet I held back the three words I want to say to her for the rest of my life.