Page 5 of Starting Over (D.O.A. DRAGO #1)

Rain rolled over and yawned. The brightness of the room telling him that it was much later than the six in the morning wake up he normally did.

However, with the emotional toll all of this had taken on him, it wasn’t exactly surprising that he would need to sleep, and a few hours in the car didn’t count.

Tossing the covers off, Rain let out a yelp and grabbed to get them back when there was a soft knock on the door. “Come in.”

Jude walked in smiling. “Hey there. I wasn’t sure if you were up yet, but I made us some lunch. I thought you might be hungry since you went to bed before eating any dinner.”

At the mention of food, Rain’s stomach growled. He felt his cheeks heat.

“I’ll take that as a yes, Jude, I’m hungry,” Jude said with a laugh, then turned to leave. “Come on then. We can eat and talk.”

The moment Jude closed the door, Rain plopped onto his back and let out a loud sigh, muttering, “Well shit.”

Rain had heard those words before. They were the same words his aunt had said to him when he turned eighteen and told him foster care was over, she wasn’t getting paid, and he had a week to get out.

Gods, what was Rain going to do? He had no idea where he could go. He didn’t know anyone that might help him, and even if he did was it fair to bring this kind of danger to their door? Was it fair that he’d already done that to Jude.

Jude was a nice guy and he should be thankful that the man was willing to feed him and let him crash for the night. Expecting more from him or the people he knew wasn’t right.

Sighing heavily, Rain got up, did his business, cleaned up, as best he could with only having the clothes on his back and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Jude put out the makings for sandwiches. “Sorry, I’m not much of a cook, but I figure sandwiches will do.”

Rain pulled the slices of bread close to him, “This is fine.”

“Do you know how to cook?” Jude asked. “I tried a few times, but I burn the shit out of everything. My mate isn’t any better at it then I am, and trust me you don’t want to know what my maharishi can do, he isn’t just named Smoky because of his gift.”

Rain knew what Jude said was supposed to be funny, but he didn’t get the joke, “Maharishi?”

Jude sat down and grabbed the bread and mayo, “My dragon.” He tilted his head to the side, asking himself, “…or is he my mate too? Well, he is a mate, but it’s a soul bond thing.” He then looked at Rain, and explained, “When you bond with a member of DOA you also bond with their dragon.”

Rain’s eyes went wide, “You had sex with a dragon?”

“God no!” Jude said with a shudder. “I mean he’s there, but not in the way you think, When Heck created DOA, he did it with humans that were killed in some war back in the fifteen hundreds or something.

When they agreed to help him and the creator, Heck joined their souls with a dragon, and it created a soul bond.

It allows the dragon to make himself in any size he wishes, or they can travel looking like a tattoo.

When the bond takes place the two humans…

or shifters or whatever, have sex and the dragon is in his tattoo form.

When the time comes to finish the bond, the dragon lifts his head and bites the mate,” Jude explained.

“Does it hurt? I’m just saying that a dragon has a lot of teeth.”

Jude smirked as he wiggled his brows. “Trust me, it’s awesome and not the least bit painful.”

As they made their sandwiches, Rain asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, but I can’t promise to answer,” Jude replied.

Rain gave a nod, as he put some mayo on his bread and pulled the turkey to him, saying, “That’s fair.

When I was given the ‘talk’ I was told that when you mate it’s for life and you never want to be away from them…

not ever. However, I heard your friends saying that your mate is looking for you, and from what you said, you left him…

well, apparently him and your dragon soul bond. How did you do it?”

Jude stopped putting the lettuce on his bread, and didn’t say anything… he didn’t even move. Feeling horrible for bringing more pain to the man, Rain quickly said, “I’m so sorry. It’s none of my business and your reasons are yours.”

Shaking his head, Jude looked up, saying, “No, maybe an outsider’s point of view might help.”

Rain nodded, “I don’t know much, but the theoretical about mates, and I haven’t ever been in a long-term relationship, but if I can, I will.”

“Dragons can make babies with their mates… their very male mates,” Jude started saying.

Rain gasped, but Jude held his hand up, “Yes, I know it’s shocking, but it’s true. I know because two of my clan mates had children already… one of those people you heard me talking to.”

“Bren,” Rain said, remembering the talk he’d overheard.

Nodding, Jude said, “I’ve always wanted a large family.

Being gay, I thought I’d either have to go through artificial insemination or adoption, but I have always planned on having kids.

When I tried bringing the subject up to Casper and Smoky, they blew me off.

I mean, at first it was, “Let’s just enjoy each other for a while.

” Then it was, “Can we talk about this later?” Then it was, “I’m working a really important case right now, I don’t have time to talk about this now.

” It was all the time being blown off. I mean, they wouldn’t even discuss it.

That told me everything I needed to know.

They don’t want to have a family with me. ”

Jude ended his words so quietly that had Rain not been a shifter with shifter hearing he wouldn’t have heard it at all. “Maybe they were really busy. I mean, I only know the myth behind DOA and with the way the world is going, things have to be pretty busy for them right now.”

Snorting, Jude said, “The world is shit. I agree, but Smoky has time to do patrols and even takes on extra times so that other dragons can spend time with their families. Casper, well when he isn’t working on saving the world he’s doing something with one of his motorcycles, that doesn’t need to be worked on.

Then when I would corner them, it always ended with us having sex. ”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. I wish I had someone that would want to deter my mind with sex,” Rain said with a smile.

“And normally I would love it, but then it started making me sad, and sex with my mate should never make me feel like that,” Jude said his voice going hoarse.

Rain’s eyes softened as did his heart, as he said, “No, Jude. Sex with your mate should never make you sad. From what I was told, when I find my mate all I’m going to want to do is make him happy and keep him safe.”

Jude scoffed, “Trust me, they do everything to keep me safe. It’s the happy part I’m struggling with.”

Rain had no clue what to say to Jude, so he finished making his sandwich as he thought, then asked, “Could they be afraid?”

Jude snorted, “Please, you don’t know my mate or maharishi. They are known as ‘the ghosts.’ They take on some seriously bad people without a second thought.”

“Jude, there’s a difference in taking on a bad guy and raising a child.

I know a lot of people that have kids and are terrified they’re going to fuck it up.

Maybe Casper and Smoky are afraid they might fuck it up,” Rain said, then added, “I agree with you that they should have talked about it with you. You deserve at least that much. Did you tell them how upset you were about them ignoring the subject.”

“I tried, but they kept making excuses,” Jude immediately answered.

“Did you tell them you were so upset about them not talking to you about this?” Rain asked.

Jude’s features tightened, as he snapped, “I shouldn’t have had to. I did my part, they wouldn’t do theirs. How is this my fault?”

Rain held up his hands in defence. “I’m sorry. I never said it was your fault, I’m just trying to understand. I told you I’ve only got the mate thing in theory not fact. I also told you I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’m not the best person to give advice.”

The sigh Jude let out was deep and so damn sad, before he said, “No, I’m sorry. Your questions aren’t off base, but they also aren’t something I haven’t thought about. It’s just the thought of never having a family of my own, rips my heart out.”

“I don’t remember you saying they said they never wanted kids.

They just needed some time to think about it…

kind of like you needing time and coming here.

They just went about it a different way.

It sounds like one went to work mode ,and the other to fiddle and think mode.

Maybe they just needed the time they asked for,” Rain said, then decided to eat and shut up.

Jude sat there looking at him… just looking. He wasn’t saying anything at all and then he dropped his head down, muttering, “Well, shit. I’m a fucking ass.”

Rain’s eyes widened at those words, saying, “No, you’re not.

You’re a man hurting, and the people he normally can turn to made that impossible.

I don’t know if Casper and Smoky want kids or not.

Maybe they don’t. I say take the time you need to think about that possibility and how you move forward from there if that’s the way it turns out.

Or you call them now, tell them where you are, and deal with the issue at hand. ”

Sighing, Jude said, “I don’t think I’m ready to call them yet.”

“Then don’t. Who knows, maybe doing this is forcing them to look at how they treated you, but again, I’m not an expert and I have no clue who your mate and mate bond are, or how they do things,” Rain said.

“Bren said that he and Smoky were regretting their life choices since I left,” Jude quietly said. “I hate knowing they’re hurting because of me, and I know that’s stupid, but damn it, they did that to me and didn’t seem to care.”

Rain looked at Jude, asking, “Will you tell me about them?”

For the next hour Jude talked about Casper and Smoky, he told Rain all about the crazy shit his maharishi was forced to deal with when it came to the other dragons and even some of the mates, but somehow, Rain thought the biggest challenge for both Casper and Smoky was Jude.

All the while he talked, Jude ate, and soon enough they were laughing and then out of nowhere, Jude began to cry.

Rain was out of his seat and holding the man close. He spoke nonsense words to Jude, and just allowed him to let out what seemed to be a great deal of pain.