Page 42 of Starring Role

The fear in his voicewas palpable. Coop was an asshole.

"No. But I'm drinking. I'm drinking because I'm sad," he informed Jimmy. "And angry, too. And I didn't want to just call you and start crying. That's a wussy thing to do."

Stunned silence greeted him.

"So, I had a couple of drinks. To man up. I don't think it worked."

"You don't have to man up around me," Jimmy said sternly. "And I don't mind ifyou cry. I've got your back. You don't need to put on a show for me."

"Don't I? But the whole world's a stage. Everybody's watching. Sometimes I don't know if I can perform."

"Then don't. Coop, you need to drink some water, okay? Then lie down, don't drink or take anything else, and stay on the phone with me till you start feeling a little better." Jimmy made a frustrated sound in histhroat. "I wish I was there with you. I'd hold on to you till you were okay."

"Or you could fuck me better." Coop's laugh sounded a little odd, and the tears in his eyes kept oozing. Jimmy really cared about him, didn't he?

"It's not just about sex for me, Coop. You know that. Please take care of yourself now. For me. Do I need to call somebody to check on you? You haven't had enoughto hurt yourself, have you?"

"No, I—" Coop looked at the bottle. "No." He shook his head firmly, then remembered that Jimmy couldn't see. "I'm a lightweight, though. I get drunk too easy. I hate alcohol except when I'm really sad. My dad used to drink a lot, you know. Did I tell you that?"

"No," Jimmy said gently. "I'm sorry. There's a...history in my own family. We try to be careful,so we don't lose anybody else to it. It's not an easy thing, is it?"

"No," Coop said, sounding small and lost to his own ears.

Part of him wanted to sink into the comfort and understanding Jimmy's voice offered him, the ability to spill his guts without looking at Jimmy's face, the temporary relief it might bring, and the excuse he'd have afterwards of being drunk. Maybe they'd only talkabout it this once, and never again.

"I don't want to fuck this up," Coop said instead. "With you, I mean. I really like you. But I'm such a piece of shit sometimes. I try not to let it show. I really do try my best, but I never quite measure up."

"You do. You're amazing, Coop. I'm sorry you don't see that. It's not just your ability to act, to hold an audience spellbound. You're agentle, good person. You never try to hurt anybody. Do you know how much I respect and admire that? A whole hell of a lot. And, yeah, you're gorgeous, and I like your body, but it's not just that. It's all of you, who you are underneath the job, the looks, all of it. Buddy, I'm planning to stick around for the long haul. Whatever happens. I want to be there with you."

"Even when I'm oldand gray?" Coop held back a laugh that felt like a sob. "Ugly and worn out and without anybody wanting to hire me?"

"Even then. Plus, don't give me that crap. You'll be hot when you're gray, and you know it." The fake sternness in Jimmy's voice, the teasing note, the confidence in him just about broke Coop. Now he did laugh, ugly-laugh, with tears involved. "Thanks. I—I really like you,too."

"That's a relief," Jimmy said dryly. "Are you drinking that water?"

"No. I'll get it now. Thanks, Jimmy. I should have called you first."Maybe I wouldn't have drunk anything then.

"Well. There's always next time."

"Is there?" The thought was quietly devastating.

"I mean, the next time you're sad and I'm not there with you," Jimmy went on desperately. "I don't mean this thingwith Lincoln. That'll get sorted out. You'll see. You'll look back and say, 'Wow, I was worried about that? Why? I should have known Singh would rip him a new asshole if he endangered the show.'"

"You think so?"

"Hell, yeah. Singh doesn't care about you, or me, or anybody. Even Lincoln Canes. He cares about his show, and that's it. If your costar doesn't pull his head out of his ass,he'll find out exactly why people are intimidated by that little guy."

"He's not that little," Cooper said defensively. He was only a few inches taller than Singh.

"He kind of is."

"He's just not very tall, likesome people. A certain pack I could name who tower over everyone and their brother."

"That's true," said Jimmy. "We are very tall. And muscular. Don't forget muscular."

"Andhot," Coop said disgustedly. "You're so hot, it's nauseating. And you don't even have to work for it. I've seen how you eat. You can eat cheese curls for breakfast and still have abs for days. Some of us have tosufferfor our abs, Jimmy. Some of us have to suffer."

"Aw, baby. I love your suffering abs. But you'd be cute without them, too. A little softer around the edges. More to hug."