Page 4

Chapter Four

The rest of the day, everyone continues to stare at me. Only now, I’ve officially gone from quietly being the new girl to being the girl who was blasted about by Little Birdie. And not even for having the highest grades or the best chances of getting into a school like Harvard or Yale. Of course not. It’s about me starring in the stupid play.

Part of me wishes I never downloaded the app, but I’m also glad I did, because otherwise all these whispers would have me thinking I sat in gum or something.

At lunch, I pretend to need help with tonight’s algebra homework and eat in Mrs. Lane’s classroom, so I don’t have to show my face in the hallways. I don’t have Carlton on my side right now. Not after the way I acted earlier. Even if he did want to see me, I doubt Meredith would appreciate me showing my face in their circle at the moment.

It’s bad enough being new and having no one know you.

It’s even worse having everyone know you, and not having anyone to turn to.

I can hide now, but there’s nothing I can do about the drama club meeting after school. They’ll both be there, and I’ll have to face them, along with the rest of the theater crew.

My phone rumbles and my heart races when I see that Mabel texted me.

Mabel

Where are you???

Me

Hiding.

Mabel

Why?

Me

Meredith and Carlton are mad at me. Little Birdie posted about me and now everyone keeps staring.

Mabel

LOL. Get used to it. You’re in theater now. LB is obsessed with us, which means the rest of the school is too.

Me

Great.

Mabel

Give Mere & C time. They’ll stop being mad soon.

I put my phone away. My heart feels a little bit warmer now that I know Meredith being mad doesn’t mean Mabel is also mad by default. I hope she’s right about them cooling off sooner rather than later.

By the time I walk into the drama room after school, Meredith is already present, sitting with her back to me and engrossed in a conversation with her twin. Mabel sees me when I walk in and brightens. “Hey, Dot,” she says, making Meredith look over her shoulder at me.

“Hey,” I say. I’m shocked by how many people have turned to look at me now, even among the theater students. It’s not that I necessarily have a problem with being looked at—it’s more the reason they’re all looking at me. I, the newbie, landed the lead role without deserving it. Little Birdie alerted every single student at Fallbrook Prep of my presence because of it.

I’m already contemplating quitting.

I glance around the room at the faces pointed in my direction. Many of them drop their glances when I look their way, but others just keep studying me. I wonder if someone in this room could be Little Birdie. It’s likely, since everyone here heard me tell Mr. Saltzman I go by the name Dot, which was mentioned in the blast. I squint at all the different faces as if doing so will somehow help me uncover the anonymous blogger’s identity.

Carlton walks in and I watch as his thick frame passes right by me. I’m guessing that means he’s still not happy with me, so I look around for a different place to sit. The desks in the drama room are all pushed against the back wall to make room for rehearsing and improv, so everyone has formed small groups and found crannies of the room to sit on the hardwood floor. I briefly consider sitting with Mabel and Meredith anyway, especially since Carlton has just joined them, because it’s not like I know anyone else in this room. I am the outsider. Ironically, joining the play was supposed to eliminate that label of mine. But now that I’m supposed to play the lead, it looks like I’ve alienated myself even more.

Rue joins the group, and I make my way over, swallowing my apprehension. I try to make eye contact with Meredith, but she turns her head away as I approach. Rue and Mabel scoot over, so I plop down next to them on the floor. I offer Carlton a small smile, hoping he’ll return it. He meets my eyes briefly and then faces the front of the classroom.

Mr. Saltzman is passing out the full script to everyone, and when he reaches us, Mabel offers me some highlighters. “It’s so you can highlight all your lines,” she whispers.

“Thanks.” I pick a yellow one and find my first set of lines to run the marker over. Turn the page. More places to highlight text. Turn the page again. More lines. My stomach drops as I flip through, the full weight of my part finally settling in. It looks like I have the most lines of almost any character, with the possible exceptions of Meredith’s character, Nelly, and Heathcliff, played by Zayne.

Zayne .

I sit up straighter and look around the classroom, trying to spot him. I peer over the clusters of groups, trying to find his hair, since his face isn’t in my line of sight.

“Who are you looking for?” Mabel asks curiously.

“Zayne Silverman.”

Carlton makes an incredulous sound, breaking my concentration. “You mean your new boyfriend?”

An awkward silence falls over the five of us. Is he really going to act like this in front of our friends? Rue examines her nails, and Meredith’s mouth lifts into a smirk.

“Knock it off, Carlton,” Mabel says in an even tone. “You know it’s not her fault.”

He sighs. It’s deep, heavy. An angry sigh. He walks to the front of the classroom to sharpen his pencil. I shoot Mabel a grateful look. “Thank you,” I mouth. She smiles back, her brown left eye and green right eye twinkling.

Mr. Saltzman clears his throat, straightening the beret on his balding head. The class falls into a hushed silence. “Let’s have the crew and ensemble head over to the auditorium to take notes on the first scene, and then I want all the main roles except Dot and Zayne, my Cathy and Heathcliff, to head next door where I’ll join you shortly.”

My stomach tangles with nerves, hearing myself spoken of as Cathy.

Rue, Mabel, and Carlton all turn to look at me. Meredith pays me no attention, already starting out the classroom door without a word. Rue squeezes my hand. “Break a leg,” she says with a nervous grin. She gets up, and so does Mabel, to follow behind Meredith.

But Carlton remains next to me, seated on the floor. I open my mouth to say something, but he speaks first. “Have fun,” he says flatly. “I know I won’t.”

He stands up and leaves. “Wait, Carlton,” I say, but he doesn’t turn back around. The cold fury in the set of his shoulders is impossible to miss as he makes his way to the next classroom over with the rest of our friends.

“Looks like it’s just us,” a deep voice says. I glance up and see Zayne standing next to me. This close, I catch a whiff of his scent. He smells like coffee, and possibly cake, too. His dreads are in a neat bun, and he smiles warily, a closed-lipped, lopsided grin.

I want to punch him.

If it weren’t for his need to cheat his way to the top of the play, poor Carlton wouldn’t have had his chances at getting into Underwood jeopardized. And he wouldn’t be mad at me, either.

“Yes, unfortunately, it is just us,” I mutter.

Zayne’s brows draw together. “Uh, okay.”

Mr. Saltzman approaches us. “You two start reading over the first scene of Act One,” he says. “I’ll be next door and you can ask any questions you have when I get back.” He looks at me through his square spectacles. “But from your auditions, I doubt you’ll need much help at all,” he says. “You two had great chemistry.”

Chemistry? What is this? A joke?

When he leaves, I grit my teeth. “Great. Now I’m stuck with you,” I tell Zayne.

He holds up his hands. “Okay, I’m sorry, but what is going on? Why are you acting like I personally insulted you or something?”

I look at Zayne, at his genuinely baffled expression, at the script in his hands, and I see red. It’s like every bad moment I’ve spent with Carlton since my audition has weighed too heavily on me and now that I’m standing in front of the reason for all of it, I’m ready to explode.

“You have!” I yell at him. “You insulted Carlton, and now he’ll barely even speak to me!”

Zayne tilts his head to the side. “Carlton?”

“Yes! Carlton!” I swat his arm with my script.

Zayne’s mouth twitches. I swear, if he’s about to smile, I hold no responsibility for what I will do next. “How did I insult Carlton, Dot?”

I narrow my eyes at him. Doing what he did is one thing, but now he has the gall to pretend he doesn’t know what I’m talking about?

“You sabotaged Carlton’s script, so he’d fumble during his audition. All so you could get the lead role. And you succeeded. Now he’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him.”

Zayne stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Wait a minute. He said what?” Then his expression changes. His lips form a straight line, and the set of his shoulders stiffens. “Of course he would say that.”

“Don’t even try to deny it. I know exactly what kind of person you are.”

He pinpoints me with his glare, his taut body towering over me. “And what kind of person might that be?”

“A liar and a cheat, according to Carlton. And if that’s what he says, then I believe him.” I cross my arms.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

I laugh humorlessly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” It’s not like anything he says will sway my opinion. Especially if it’s his word against Carlton’s.

Zayne throws up his hands. “You know what? Never mind. You’re going to believe what you want and it’s not my job to stop you.”

I briefly consider his words before shaking them off. I have every reason to be mad at Zayne for messing with Carlton. And part of me is also a little mad at Carlton for taking it out on me. But most of all, I’m mad at myself. If I’d never joined the stupid drama club to begin with, I wouldn’t be stuck in this situation. “This was a terrible idea,” I say.

Zayne raises his eyebrows. “What was? Auditioning? Because if you’re having second thoughts, please just drop out now. The last thing I need is a flake ruining my chances of getting into Underwood.”

The mention of that stupid school right now makes my blood boil. “Ugh. Not you, too.”

He glares at me. “I mean it. This isn’t a joke. In fact, if you’re serious about staying in the play, we really should start running lines together today.”

“Relax. All this fuss is ridiculous. I doubt Underwood is actually that hard to get into. It’s not like it’s Yale or Harvard.”

“Well, literally every theater student at this school wants to get in, and to stay there through college.” The lines of Zayne’s forehead seem to become even more prominent. “Considering only two high school students get accepted every year—and on scholarship, I might add—the odds aren’t exactly in your favor.”

“Ha!” I laugh without humor. I don’t know why I’m letting him get to me, but something about his tone irks me. I should just go tell Mr. Saltzman I quit and be done with all this, but for some reason, I can’t let his jab go. “I landed the role of this Catherine character easily enough,” I tell him. “I bet I could get into Underwood, too.”

Apparently, my comment doesn’t amuse Zayne. “Please, just drop out,” he deadpans.

“No.” If he thinks he’s going to get rid of me that easily, after everything he’s done, he’s got another thing coming. “Not after all that. I might have before you suggested my acting skills are lacking. But now? No way. Once I’ve set my mind on something, there’s no talking me out of it.”

I’m not sure where my sudden bravado is coming from, since I’ve felt nothing but insecure about my acting since the audition, but I roll with it. Maybe it’s the stupid smirk on Zayne’s face making me want to defend myself, or maybe it’s something else. Either way, the words are spoken now and it’s too late to take them back.

Zayne’s grip on his script tightens. He looks like he’s fighting for control. Good. Let him see how it feels to have his hopes and dreams possibly ripped away, like Carlton’s might be. If I were to actually get into Underwood, there would only be one more spot left. Him, or Carlton, but not both. Obviously, I have no desire to actually attend Underwood Academy. But just the idea of seeing Zayne’s face if I got accepted over him is too delicious to pass up.

“Whatever,” he finally says, and storms toward the classroom door, leaving me standing alone in the center of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To have a word with Mr. Saltzman.”

“I thought you wanted to run lines?” I’m goading him now. Truly trying to infuriate him. And I can tell it’s working. I smile.

As he’s leaving, he practically spits his answer over his shoulder. “My house. Tomorrow. Five o’ clock.”

Latest on the Little Birdie gossip feed:

Rumor has it that Dot’s got a thing for Carlton, but her acting says otherwise! Apparently, the chemistry between her and Zayne Silverman was too hot for Mr. Saltzman to handle. Why else would he cast an undeserving new girl like Dot Bennet to play the romantic lead alongside Zayne?

Let’s just hope Carlton can handle the heat. I, on the other hand, am melting for this love triangle.

My prediction is that Carlton and his rival will have something new to fight over.

As if they needed anything else!

Yours truly,

Little Birdie

Today, my presence has only produced half the amount of whispers as yesterday, but a freshman asked me to sign her drama class syllabus, so that was new, at least.

When the lunch bell rings, I keep my head ducked down and make for our table as fast as I can. Voices float around me, and I hear my name a few times. I resist the urge to cover my ears.

Someone grabs my arm. “Dot?”

I glance up at the unfamiliar face. “Yeah?”

“Congrats on getting the lead,” they say. “I remember the Evans twins got it their freshman and sophomore year, and they were really good. So, you must be good, too.”

“Thanks.” I walk away before they can say anything else. What good would it do to admit that, actually, I’m not talented enough? That I’m nothing but an imposter, but somehow my “chemistry” with Zayne Silverman was enough.

I ascend the long staircase leading from my classroom wing to the cafeteria. A cluster of girls stares at me from the top, resting their elbows on the railing. One of them pretends to adjust her knee-high sock when I catch her watching me, and another whispers in her friend’s ear. When I get to the cafeteria, I spot Carlton sitting with Rue, Mabel, and Meredith. I sit down and they all turn to look at me.

There’s a beat of awkward silence until Rue waggles her eyebrows. “So…you and Zayne Silverman, eh?” Her joking tone seems to ease the tension at our table. Even Carlton rolls his eyes, his mouth twisting into an almost smile.

My shoulders relax. “Please tell me Little Birdie isn’t as big of a deal as you guys are making her out to be.”

Carlton clenches his jaw, but his eyes are soft. “Sorry, Dot.”

“It will get better.” Mabel touches my hand. “Probably. And how do we know it’s a her?”

“We don’t, I guess. It just feels more natural to say, so until further notice, it’s a she.” I sigh. “And honestly, the nerve of that Little Birdie. It’s like she’s desperate for news. And if you’re going to post something, like, at least make it true . Am I right?”

“Relax,” Rue says. “ I don’t believe anything Little Birdie says. I never have.”

A weight disappears from my stomach. “Really?”

“Of course not.” She takes a bite of her salad, swallows, and dabs her mouth with a napkin. “One time, in middle school, she said I let my pet rat loose in the hallways. I’ve never owned a pet rat in my life.”

I laugh. A group of freshmen passes by our lunch table. A few of them walk extra slow so they can get a good look at us, and one of them takes out his phone and points it at me.

“Are you…taking a picture of me?” I sputter.

Carlton swats the hand holding the camera away. “Get lost.”

They disappear, but I’m still gaping in my seat. Being featured by Little Birdie feels how I’d imagine being a celebrity in tabloids feels. Like a violation of privacy. It would probably be worse, though, if Little Birdie was actually writing the truth.

Under our table, Carlton reaches for my hand. “I can’t help but wonder, though,” he murmurs, playing with my fingers, “Why did you get the lead role? You know. If what Little Birdie said about you and Zayne having sizzling chemistry isn’t true?”

“Um,” I stammer. I look at Mabel for help, but she shrugs. “I have no idea.” I’m about to say something that will hopefully change the subject, but Zayne Silverman chooses that precise moment to walk by, place a small piece of paper in my other hand on the table, and say to me in passing, “Don’t forget. My house, after school at five.” I stare at my hand. The paper he handed me has his address written on it. I shove it in my pocket, face burning.

Carlton stares at me. And so does Rue. And Mabel. And Meredith.

“That was really bad timing,” I tell them with a nervous chuckle. “He just wants to run lines after school. But I’m not going.” I don’t know why I add that last part. It isn’t true.

Carlton slowly drops my hand and stares at me for a long moment. There’s a hardness to his expression that wasn’t there a minute ago. “Right.”

The group falls into an awkward silence. This is all becoming too much. I need to get away for a moment to clear my head. “I’ll be right back,” I say to none of them in particular. I’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment, under their scrutiny. If only Mom were here. It’s her I need to talk to right now. I break away from the three of them and head to the parking lot. On my way, I attract the attention of a group of girls I’ve never seen before.

“Hi, Dot!” One of them waves at me.

I wave back. The fake smile I’m wearing feels much too heavy.

I burst through the giant oak doors leading outside. The crisp, autumn air stings my bare knees. The transition from summer to fall in Massachusetts has practically been nonexistent. I rub my arms, the friction from my skin against my cardigan warming me.

When I reach my car, I grab the handle, but don’t open the door right away. I catch sight of my reflection in the car window, and I can’t help but stare. My eyes are shining with unshed tears, my mouth curved downward, little puffs of air visible when I exhale.

If I’d known what kind of pressure joining the play would put me under, I never would have auditioned. All I wanted to do was fit in with my new friends and get Carlton to like me as much as I like him. But now, it feels like everything is blowing up in my face. I’m more tempted to quit than ever, but I have to stay in the play to prove everyone wrong. Especially Zayne. The whole school watching me now is just the cherry on top. I’m living every new kid’s nightmare.

I just hope I wake up soon.