Page 17

Chapter Seventeen

Hello my sweet fledglings!

It’s been a week or two since you’ve heard from me last but worry not. I’ve kept busy while I was away.

It appears that Dot Bennett and Zayne Silverman have gotten closer. One might even call them friends! Or at least, that’s what I’ve been hearing whispered throughout the ancient halls of Fallbrook Christian Prep! The scandal. I can’t help but wonder how Carlton Peters is handling this change of events. I know I’m not the first to spread the news about the upcoming Halloween party at the house of twins, Meredith and Mabel Evans. A theater party, to be precise. That’s right, my dears. A party within the drama club. Which can only mean that there’s sure to be drama. Will Carlton choose this event to finally confront Dot?

You know I’ll be watching. And if there’s a story to be told, you’ll hear of it from a little birdie. This one, in fact.

In other news, Rue Sullivan is still fawning over her crush, and I’ve discovered who it is! That’s right, Rue. I’ve seen the forlorn, unrequited stares. The weight of your hopeful gaze is so heavy, I’m surprised you haven’t been crushed by it yet. So, here’s some motivation for you, because really, it’s becoming pathetic watching you do nothing. Reveal your affections to your crush, or I’ll tell the world who it is.

Anywho. That’s all.

Yours truly,

Little Birdie

I don’t want to go to the party, anyway. Not with all the studying I need to catch up on. Luckily, I’m not falling behind in anything, but to get into an exceptional college, I need to be better than up to par. I need to be ahead of the par. And the play has been taking up so much of my time already. That and reading Emma, which I actually finished last night. And, of course, Zayne was right. I loved it. It was just as, if not more entertaining than Clueless, and so were all the notes he left me in the margins, noting his favorite parts.

The point is, I’ve been too distracted from my studies. A party is the last thing I need, even if it’s Halloween.

Not being invited has nothing to do with it.

But then again, Carlton still isn’t speaking to me. It’s been days since the run-through rehearsal, and still not a peep. At school, he won’t even look at me. The last time I approached him, he turned his back and walked away, leaving me standing all alone. Outside of school, I’ve tried texting him, calling, and stopped by his house twice. Nothing. Mabel has only been speaking to me over text, too afraid to upset Carlton and her sister by taking my side. Ugh. It’s like Carlton is some kind of gatekeeper who determines whether or not I’m worthy of friendship. Luckily, Rue has taken pity on me today, eating lunch at a different table by my side, because it’s not like I can go sit with Zayne. That will only make things worse. And I definitely don’t want to sit with him anyway. I don’t.

“Don’t look so sad,” says Rue, watching me pick at my lunch for the fourth day in a row.

“You know the twins are throwing that party to exclude me,” I point out. “I’m the only person in drama club who didn’t receive an invitation.”

“It’s not like Meredith to do such a thing,” she counters. “She must be going through something.”

I snort. “Are we talking about the same girl? She’s never exactly been warm and fuzzy toward me.”

She frowns, bobbing her head from side to side. “She’s not normally like that. Trust me. You haven’t known her as long as the rest of us.”

“I’m just glad Mabel isn’t mad at me, too. At least, not yet.” I push my grapes around my lunch tray with my index finger, trying to resist the lump in my throat. I won’t let it form. I won’t cry over something this silly. “Maybe I should just quit the play.” My stomach twists as the words leave my mouth because the idea is horribly unappealing and I don’t even mean it.

“Dot, don’t you dare.” Rue’s eyes round in alarm. “You’ll ruin the whole production. There won’t be enough time to replace you.”

“Yeah, right,” I mutter. “I bet Meredith’s secretly been practicing my lines, lurking in the shadows, eagerly awaiting my failure.”

“Okay.” Rue slams her hand down on the table. With a start, I look up from my lunch tray at her. Her gaze pins me in place. “You have to stop this. Meredith really isn’t a bad person once you get to know her. You have to stop talking badly about her. She’s my friend.”

My heart sinks. Way to burn all your bridges, Dot .

But Rue continues. “You’re my friend, too. And I don’t think it’s right for Carlton to be so mad at you. But he does have a right to be frustrated. You keep claiming that you like him, but I can’t help but notice you kinda, sorta, might like someone else, too. A little.”

My cheeks burn, but I don’t say a word in confirmation or denial. I just shrug. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I think you do,” she mutters. “And I hate to say it, but you need to stop being so wishy-washy. You’re in the play, so you need to commit to it once and for all. No more of this back and forth. No more threats. No more pondering. You accepted your role, so it’s time to make good on that. And you really should make a decision about Carlton. Either you like him, or you don’t. Both are okay, but you need to own your choice either way.”

When she finishes talking, she lets out a little sigh of relief. I can’t help but wonder how long she’s been holding all that in. And I can’t help but realize that she’s right.

She’s completely right.

I’ve been tossing around my emotions, my thoughts, and my choices so carelessly, I haven’t stopped to think of who else might be affected. Carlton isn’t the problem, and neither is Zayne. It’s me, because I still don’t know what the right answer to any of this is. But one thing I do know—I’m grateful Rue had the guts to open my eyes.

“I’m going to talk to Carlton,” I decide. Time to rip off the band-aid and be honest about how I’ve been feeling, no matter the consequences. “Tonight, at the party. I don’t care if he and Meredith want me there or not. It’s Halloween and I’m playing the lead role, after all. You’d think I’d be allowed to show up.”

Rue raises her eyebrows. “Oh. Okay, then.”

“Will you come over after school? We could get ready together.”

“Sure.” Her cheeks lift into a smile.

I take out my phone and send a text because I just can’t help it. I have to know.

Me

Are you going to the party tonight?

I wait and notice the guy from the pumpkin patch walking up to Zayne across the cafeteria. It’s the first time I’ve ever noticed him at school before. What was his name again? James? Josh? Jude? Jude, I remember. It was Jude. I note the way he watches Zayne, like he wants to be noticed, and how Zayne nods at him, and then turns back to one of his other friends. Jude’s shoulders sag. How have I never noticed him before?

The bell rings, signaling that lunch is over. I grab my tray, tossing my picked-at lunch in the trash. I walk with Rue down the corridors. And then my phone vibrates. It’s a response to my text. I stare at it and can’t help the flutters that begin to blossom as a result.

Zayne

I’ll be there.

“You should wear this.” Rue holds up my black jumpsuit, still on the hanger. “You could draw some whiskers on your face with eyeliner and go as a cat. Plus, you’ll look hot.”

I grin and take it from her. “Thanks. I forgot I had this.” And she happens to be right—it’s very flattering on me. I gesture to her white dress with wings and the halo headband atop her curly bob. “You look great, by the way. An angel. So cute.”

She grins. “Thanks. Now go, get dressed.”

I go to the bathroom and put the outfit on. It’s tight, hugging me like a second skin, but still comfortable. I love the way the high-quality satin feels against my skin.

I use eyeliner to make whiskers around my nose like Rue suggested, and I twist the front sections of my braids into two buns for ears, leaving the rest down. Rue helps me apply false lashes when I holler at her from the bathroom, and I do the same for her. When we’re ready, I take a mirror selfie of us and post it to social media. “I can’t remember the last time I got ready with a friend like this,” I tell her.

She tilts her head. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, but it’s really nice.” No need to tell her the woes of being homeschooled in a small town. Of having only a handful of friends, if that. Of not having a reason to dress up like this, because there are no school dances when home is your school.

She smiles, making her dimples show. “It is nice. Just wish Mabel and Meredith could be here, too.”

My spirits deflate a little at the mention of Mabel. While Rue stuffs her makeup back into her bag, I send Mabel a quick message:

Me

Miss you.

She responds instantly.

Mabel

Me too :( hope this nonsense is over soon.

Me

Same here.

Beau knocks on the door. “Hurry up.”

I swing the door open, and he takes in our appearance. “Where are you guys going?”

“The theater party,” I tell him. “Didn’t you read Little Birdie? The whole drama club is invited.” Except me, I don’t add.

“No, I don’t read that stupid gossip column. It’s not even accurate half the time.”

Rue laughs at his bluntness. “True that.”

“Alright.” I head for the front door. “We gotta go.”

“You look nice.” Beau wrinkles his nose, an after-affect of complimenting me. “Try not to be a headline tonight.”

I give him a thumbs up. “You bet.”

Rue and I get in my car, and thankfully, she takes the place of my GPS as she tells me how to get to Meredith and Mabel’s house.

“Dot?” She turns the music down.

“Yeah?”

“You know what your brother said? About Little Birdie being inaccurate half the time?”

“Yeah.” Something about her tone makes me feel uneasy. “Why?”

“It’s just…” She takes a deep breath. “Little Birdie has been writing about me having a crush.”

I wave my hand at her. “You should just ignore stupid rumors like that, Rue. Don’t let them affect you.”

“But they’re not stupid rumors,” she blurts. “It’s true. I do have a crush.”

My lips part. “Really? On who?”

Her eyes dart around, and the way she bites her lip makes my stomach feel uneasy. After a long moment, she whispers, “On Carlton.”

“Oh.” A current of thoughts and emotions whirl through me. Rue and Carlton ? How long has she been crushing on him? How has her crush affected her friendship with me?

“I’m not going to act on it, so you don’t have anything to worry about. He clearly likes you, not me,” she explains in a rush. “I just figured it would be better for you to find out from me directly, in case Little Birdie really does tell everyone.” She fidgets with her hands.

“Oh, Rue.” I sigh. “I’m so sorry.” No wonder she’s been so frustrated with my inability to settle my feelings toward Carlton.

She offers me a sad smile. “Thanks. What a situation, huh?”

“The worst.”

We enter the twins’ upscale suburban neighborhood, just outside of Boston, and park on the street near their house. They live in a two-story stucco and stone new-build that looks nearly identical to those surrounding it. It’s clear it’s their house from the lights and booming music emanating from inside.

I turn to Rue from the driver seat. “You ready?”

“That depends,” she says. “Do you have a paper bag I can wear over my head if the truth comes out? Who knows how Carlton would react.”

An alert rings on my phone and on Rue’s at the same time.

Little Birdie.

“No,” she cries. “She wouldn’t tell everyone yet, would she?”

I bite my lip. I don’t want to give her false hope, because I know there’s a good chance Little Birdie would spill the beans. “Let’s find out.”

We both look at the blast. But Rue isn’t mentioned at all. Instead, several photos fill the screen, the first one a picture of a boy and a girl drinking from steaming mugs, surrounded by an expanse of orange pumpkins and haystacks.

Rue squints. “Is that…?”

My cheeks burn. “That’s me and Zayne.” Us together at the pumpkin patch, hot apple cider mugs in hand. In the photo, I’m looking up at him through my lashes, a wry grin on my face. He’s laughing hard at whatever I’m saying. I scroll down.

And my heart stops.

“Oh, no.” The words escape my lips in a hushed breath. Zayne at my side on the Ferris wheel, the two of us leaning close together in what is unmistakably an intimate conversation.

At the image of the two of us leaning together like I’m a flower and he’s the sun, warmth travels up my neck, spreading into my cheeks and hairline.

I remember the way Zayne’s cool breath touched my face as he whispered about working the corn maze, as he told me I’m becoming a better actor. Complimenting me, telling me I actually have a chance at getting into Underwood Academy.

The moment replays, spinning in my mind, making me feel things I don’t want to feel. So, I shove it all down and focus on what’s important.

I never told Carlton about any of this. And I know exactly how he’s going to take it. That is, if I don’t get in there and explain things myself.

“Come on, Rue.” I step out of the car, not checking to see if she’s following or not. I need to get inside. Now. Because it’s time to fix this mess I created once and for all.