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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

We went into motion like a well-oiled machine. The explosions outside continued. At the rate they were going, I was worried the house would cave in. Charlie chanted a few ancient words, and my home was suddenly stable.

“What did you do?” I asked. The blasts were still happening outside, but the house had stopped shaking.

“Reenforced the base and structure,” he replied. “It won’t come down now.”

“Can we get in and out of it?” Heather asked.

“Yes,” Charlie said. “It’s different from a ward.”

Without a word, Candy Vargo waved her hand and everyone was armed to the teeth. The coffee table was loaded down with more weapons if anyone wanted to double it up. Everyone did. Gideon took over and barked out orders.

“Heather and Catriona,” he directed. “Stay inside and protect Alana Catherine, Shitty Ritchie, June and Jennifer. They are not to come out.”

I enhanced the protection by placing a second ward around both my child and Shitty Ritchie .

“Agreed,” Heather said. Her tattoos swirled over her entire body. It was an eerie, scary and beautiful sight.

“Zander and Tim,” Gideon said. “Go out the back door and come around the house. Tim, right. Zander, left. The element of surprise might throw them. Let them think there are less of us until there’s not.”

Zander started to move but paused. “The magic belongs to only one. Only one zombie feeds the rest.”

“Clarify,” Candy Vargo grunted. The woman was carrying more daggers, swords and grenades than I thought possible.

Zander obliged. “When we battled them before, we realized that only one was fueling the others. They can only exist as long as the leader is alive.”

“How do you know which one is the leader?” Tim asked, placing daggers in his boots and guns in his pockets.

Normally, guns were moot. A bullet couldn’t kill an Immortal, but zombies were not Immortals. I took Tim’s lead and grabbed a gun.

“You won’t know which one is the leader. It’s not obvious,” Zander ground out.

Catriona jumped in. “It’s luck of the draw—total chance. We fought all three of them and didn’t make progress. It wasn’t until the right one died that all three went down.”

“Got it,” Candy Vargo said. The woman was glowing so brightly, I had to shield my eyes. “If one of them cocksuckers fights too long and hard, leave ‘em and go on to another. Just make sure you don’t die. I ain’t in the mood for a funeral.”

From her mouth…

“Gram, you and Mr. Jackson will stay back too,” I called out. “I don’t know what a zombie can do to a ghost, and I don’t want to find out. Also, keep the dogs inside. ”

“Roger that, Daisy girl,” Gram said. “Don’t you worry about us.”

That wasn’t possible. I was worried about everyone right now.

“Do you think the shart booger will show up?” Shitty Ritchie asked, his voice a sharp squeak. He was forbidden to join the battle, but that didn’t stop the tiny dude from arming himself. He’d grabbed a dagger and a grenade from the coffee table. They were bigger than he was, but I didn’t comment.

“Who in the hell is the shart booger?” Candy Vargo yelled over another round of explosions.

“The Higher Power, corn nut,” Shitty Ritchie yelled back.

The exchange made me freeze. How would we know if the Higher Power was here? It looked like something different to everyone.

“Shitty Ritchie,” I said, putting more knives into my belt. “What did the Higher Power look like to you?” It might not matter, but knowledge was always good. For all I knew, It might appear in another form every time. I was assuming It would look like Bob Barker or Monty Hall, but I wasn’t stupid enough to assume anything. I had no time to make an ass out of me or anyone else.

“Dolly Parton,” he told me. “But it wasn’t the real Dolly. It was fake Dolly. And another time it was Mark Zuckerburg. And another time it was George Washington.”

“Motherfarker,” Candy Vargo grumbled. “How many times have you seen the Higher Power?”

“Way too many,” Shitty Ritchie said with a shudder.

Getting a solid physical ID on the Higher Power wasn’t going to be possible. However, the Higher Power often looked like what a person consciously or unconsciously chose It to look like. “People,” I said. “Pick a douchey celebrity.”

“Ain’t got time for games right now, corn nut,” Candy Vargo groused. “Have you lost your dang testies?”

“I have,” I confirmed. “It usually appears as something that we’ve thought about or discussed. I say we call it now, so if It shows up, we know it’s the Higher Power.”

“Brilliant!” Shitty Ritchie screeched. “I vote for…”

“Wait,” Tim said. “We need to pick someone none of us likes. It will be easier to end It if we have to.”

“We can’t end It,” Charlie ground out. “The third of the trinity hasn’t revealed itself. If we end the Higher Power, we end everything.”

“FUCK,” Candy Vargo bellowed. “He’s right. Pick someone nobody wants to off. Someone un-off-able.”

I kind of doubted that the Higher Power would show up on the earthly plane, but at this point anything was possible. I might not want to believe it, but denying it could be catastrophic.

“Tom Hanks,” I said. “Everyone loves Tom Hanks. There’s nothing not to love.”

“Bingo, corn hole,” Candy said. “All you shart stains think about Tom Hanks.”

“Loved him in Big !” Shitty Ritchie gushed.

The time for chit chat was over. I scanned the room. Heather held Alana Catherine in her arms. Catriona was at her side with Shitty Ritchie on her lap. Both of the women were armed and very dangerous. That was outstanding. June and Jennifer were with them.

Jennifer had an open laptop in her hands. She was waiting for news on her pappy. Since we weren’t leaving just yet, maybe I’d get to find out the name of her mysterious father. I’d make that my goal, along with keeping my loved ones safe and staying alive .

Having goals was good. Reaching them was better.

There were ten. Ten zombies. They didn’t look like the zombies from TV or the movies. The only reason that zombie was the correct term to use was because they’d been risen from the dead. All ten looked mostly human.

There were six of us. It wasn’t bad odds. We’d faced far worse and came out on top. My entire yard looked like a gutted-out war zone. Again, I was glad we lived in the middle of nowhere, far from the populated town. The chance of the cops showing up was slim.

The craters were deep, and most of the trees had been uprooted. Small fires smoldered and the air was thick with smoke. The scent wafting surrounding us was rancid. The light breeze carried the scent directly to us. It smelled of dead and decaying bodies, which shouldn’t have been much of a surprise considering the enemy. The Higher Power was a sick and evil person. Reanimating the dead was atrocious. A small part of me felt sorry for the bodies standing in front of us. They’d had no say in this. They were being used.

I reminded myself that they were no longer human. Ending them wasn’t taking a life. They were already dead. For all I knew, their souls had gone into the Light. They might have been wonderful in their human lives. But now? Now, they were not wonderful. They were killing machines created by someone who should not be in charge. Someday, that would change. Today would not be that day. Today, we had to end the madness that wanted to end us.

“Those are some ugly bitches,” Candy Vargo whispered as we stood on the front porch and eyed the enemy.

The explosions had stopped, and they weren’t advancing. Tim and Zander had not joined us yet. They would wait for the right time. Each Immortal present was well-versed in battle. I stood between Candy Vargo and Gideon. Charlie was to Gideon’s right. We were a formidable group, but the zombies showed no fear. They’d probably been programmed that way.

“Agreed,” Gideon said. “And we’re about to put them out of their and our misery.”

“Hell to the yes,” Candy grunted.

The zombies stood shoulder to shoulder in my front yard. They looked exactly as described by Zander and Catriona. Their eyes were milky white and soulless. It was disturbing. Each was bald and each was toothless. They didn’t resemble cadavers, but they didn’t appear to have many human qualities left either. The Higher Power had chosen men—all men. They were large in stature and muscular.

One stepped forward.

“You think that’s the leader?” Candy questioned quietly.

“Doubtful,” Charlie answered. “The Higher Power is too smart to play that way. It knows that Zander and Catriona defeated Its minions recently. The jig is up on how they work. We’re going to have to end them by process of elimination.”

“Why aren’t they coming for us?” I asked, tightening my hand on the gun in my pocket. The air was calm but filled with impending menace.

Gideon answered without taking his eyes off the prize. “I surmise it will go as before. They will state their request. We’ll say, fuck you and then they die.”

My brows shot up. “That was succinct.”

“I’m good like that,” he replied.

“Give us the child and the tiny one. We know they are in the house,” the zombie bellowed. His robotic voice rocked the earth beneath his feet, and several more trees fell. “We don’t want to kill you. No violence is necessary. The choice is yours.”

“Lemme tell you somethin’, fucker,” Candy Vargo shouted with two toothpicks hanging out of her mouth. “You shits ain’t gettin’ nobody. You fucked up the dang yard. Looks like hell. Gonna take me a fuckn’ week to get this back in shape and that pisses me the fuck off. I got shit to do and cleanin’ up after a bunch of sorry lookin’ turd stains ain’t on the agenda. I’m gonna suggest to take your dead zombie-assed carcasses back to the shithole you crawled out of and tell the Higher Power to fuck Itself. Choice is yours, dickholes.”

That was when everything went to Hell. Fast.

The battle started before I’d had time to digest Candy’s profane monologue. Pissing off zombies wasn’t for the lighthearted.

“Go, go, go!” Charlie commanded as he dove off the porch and charged the zombies.

He didn’t have to ask twice. We were right behind him. Zander and Tim joined the fray and the bloodbath commenced. I fought like my life depended on it… because it did. They were unlike any enemy we’d come up against. The lack of fear they possessed made them practically invincible.

“Shit,” I hissed as the razor-sharp blade of a sword sliced a deep wound in my arm. I knew it would heal, and I had another arm. As the blood spurted, I went for my gun with my good hand. I’d tried magic multiple times and had failed. Daggers didn’t affect them. Maybe a conventional weapon would do the trick. It was worth a try. I unloaded a full clip on the sword-wielding freak and barely did a lick of damage.

“Motherfucker,” Candy growled. She was glowing bright orange and fighting a zombie hand-to-hand. She was winning, but just by a hair.

“Find the leader,” Zander shouted as he too was grappling hand-to-hand with another zombie. The zombie had lost an arm and a leg and still fought like a rabid dog.

I left the abomination who didn’t go down with the gun and sprinted to another. It was chaotic and the zombies looked identical. I couldn’t tell if the one I was fighting was one I’d already attacked. The Higher Power was diabolically brilliant.

Charlie battled like a Tasmanian devil on steroids. His power was out of control as he ripped limb after limb from the zombies who came for him. It didn’t stop them, but they couldn’t stop Charlie either. I would never want to fight a foe like the Immortal Enforcer. He was one of the deadliest beings alive. But Gideon… Gideon was the OG of deadly badasses.

I spared a glance at the love of my life and almost lost an arm because of it. Gideon was on fire. Literally. His entire body was in flames. It was a terrifying sight and I was glad I’d witnessed it before. If I hadn’t, I would have freaked out and gone to his aid. The truth of the matter was that the flames didn’t touch his skin, but they could burn the enemy to a crisp.

However, this enemy didn’t burn. This enemy was like no other enemy we’d faced. The longer it went on, the more worried I became. If they tore us apart enough, they might get what they came for. Granted, Heather and Catriona would put up one hell of a fight, but if the six of us couldn’t take them out, I wasn’t sure they could either.

I fought with renewed strength and resolve. The Higher Power wasn't going to get Its hands on my daughter and Shitty Ritchie.

“Daisy,” Tim yelled. “Behind you. ”

I turned around, but I had three coming at me from the front. It was a shitshow—a bloody one. Tim launched himself into the air and landed behind me. We were back-to-back fighting for our lives. Immortals were difficult to kill, but decapitation always worked. Keeping my head on my body was the name of the game.

“GOT IT,” Tim shouted as all the zombies fell to the ground and instantly turned to ash.

I dropped to my knees, sure I was about to throw up. The silence after the storm was loud. The scent of dead and decaying bodies intensified as the ashes of those who never should have existed blew in the wind.

Gideon was by my side in an instant. He’d fared pretty well. He was cut up but he was in one piece. Tim was severely bruised and bleeding, but other than that, he was riding high that he’d nailed the leader. He was my hero. Heck, he was everyone’s hero right now. My socially awkward and mild-mannered buddy was a maniac in battle.

Charlie, who was the only one of us who looked somewhat normal, helped Zander and Candy Vargo. Zander had lost a leg, but it was quickly regenerating. Candy’s missing arm was coming back, too. I hadn’t lost an appendage, but I’d been stabbed more times than I could count. However, the wounds were knitting together with speed. It felt itchy, and it burned, but it was better than the alternative.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. We were like a weird science fiction fantasy story come to life. It was nuts.

I saw Heather pop her head out of the door. “Is the coast clear?” she called out.

“Yes,” Charlie confirmed, scanning the area for more danger. When he was satisfied that it was over for now , he waved his hand for all to join us.

That was a mistake. We didn’t know it yet… but we would very soon. Hindsight was twenty-twenty. Real life was not.

Gram and Mr. Jackson were the first out of the door. They zipped around and checked on everyone. June came out with a plate of peanut butter cookies in her hands. Charlie strode to her and wrapped her in his arms. I wasn’t sure if June had watched the battle from inside the house, but I hoped not. She was human, or we thought she was, and seeing Immortals battle wasn’t something she should witness. Heather came next with Alana Catherine in her arms and Catriona carried Shitty Ritchie. The people and the cookies were a welcome sight.

“Where’s Jennifer?” Tim asked as he gave June and hug and helped himself to a cookie.

“Oh!” June said with a smile, leaning on her husband. “The results of her DNA test came back, and she’s downloading them now.”

“Exciting,” Tim said. “I hope it’s Elvis. Jennifer would be thrilled.”

The fact that we were basically back to normal after the most abnormal fight I’d ever been part of was surreal. But that seemed to be how the Immortals chose to live. Every moment was precious—especially ones with those we loved.

Gideon took Alana Catherine from Heather, and a little family group hug ensued. I got wet, sloppy kisses and returned them with pleasure. Our baby had an iron grip on Gideon’s hair. I didn’t think there was a single thing in the world he would have loved more. If Alana Catherine kept it up, he’d be sporting a bald spot on the side of his head. My man would wear that bald spot with pride.

“Daisy,” Gideon finally said to me. “We still need to leave. It’s not safe here.”

He was correct. There was no telling when the next army of zombies would show up. We’d gotten lucky this time. We weren’t going to stick around for a next time..

“Yep,” I agreed. “Let me say bye to Jennifer one more time, and then we’re out.”

“Be quick,” he said, putting Alana Catherine on his shoulders. “I’ll grab Shitty Ritchie and we can leave as soon as you’re done.”

I nodded and made my way back to the house. I was sad that the last memory of my home would be of the zombie battle, but the fact that we’d won would have to suffice.

“What the actual FUCK?” Candy shouted.

I turned around so fast, I got dizzy.

From the ashes of the dead zombies, a body rose. The back of the male figure was facing us, but the shape was very familiar—very, very, very familiar.

I sprinted to Gideon. He had Alana Catherine on his shoulders and Shitty Ritchie in his arms. I grabbed my daughter and hid her behind me. Gideon did the same with Shitty Ritchie.

Glancing down at Shitty Ritchie, I mouthed the word, stay. He nodded and plastered himself to Gideon’s leg. I kept my hands on my baby as I settled her behind me. I hoped like hell she would stay put. Her warm, small body behind me was the scariest thing that I’d ever felt. I wanted to toss her back into the house, but the lone figure was turning around. The time to hide was over.

“Tom Fucking Hanks,” Candy Vargo barked with disgust as the Higher Power smiled at us. The smile didn’t reach fake Tom Hanks’ eyes. I didn’t expect it to. The Higher Power felt no compassion for anything or anyone. “Imagine that, motherfuckers.”

“I’ve come to this appalling plane to make an offer,” Fake Tom Hanks said.

It was beyond surreal to see Tom Hanks standing in my decimated yard, knowing it was definitely not Tom Hanks.

“Maybe Its offering sperm,” Shitty Ritchie whispered.

I wanted to whack the back of his head. I did no such thing. I stayed as still as a statue.

“State your offer,” Charlie said flatly. “I would imagine I already know our answer, but we’ll humor you.”

Fake Tom Hanks didn’t like that. His eyes flashed a frightening silver and his smile became a sneer. Alana Catherine grew squirmy behind me. My hands began to sweat as I attempted to keep her hidden without looking like I was hiding anything.

“I know what you people are up to,” Fake Tom Hanks snarled. “I’m here to tell you it will not work. In fact, if you continue on this foolish folly, it will cost all of you dearly. And I mean all of you. Anything or anyone you hold dear—Immortal or human—will be slowly and systematically destroyed. Am I making myself clear?”

“As mud, motherfucker,” Candy Vargo shot back.

Fake Tom Hanks went on as if he hadn’t just been insulted by the Keeper of Fate. Alana Catherine’s wiggling intensified. Shit was going south fast.

Gideon noticed and tried to speed it along. “State your terms,” he ground out. “We have places to be and things to do.”

Fake Tom Hank’s brows shot up. “Very bold of you, Grim Reaper. I’d suggest you keep your attitude in check.”

Gideon didn’t back down. It was known to both that he couldn’t kill the Higher Power, and the Higher Power couldn’t kill the Grim Reaper. The balance would be altered, and the world would end. “I’d suggest that you stop reanimating the dead. It’s illegal and the punishment is death—according to laws you created. And I’d also suggest you get to the point of your uninvited visit. We’re busy people.”

Fake Tom Hanks turned a bright red. It looked like he might have a heart attack. However, the Higher Power had no heart, metaphorically speaking. Fake Tom Hanks’ jaw worked furiously. He didn’t like being backtalked. Too bad, so sad. This needed to be over. I wasn’t sure how much longer my baby would stay behind me.

“I will make a trade,” It said.

“Gettin’ bored, shart stain,” Candy Vargo commented. “Loved you in Sleepless in Seattle , but this here performance is kinda stale.”

“I will take Richard Smith,” Fake Tom Hanks ground out. “If you give me Richard Smith, I will leave the girl child alone. I will never go after her again.”

“Who in the actual fuck is Richard Smith?” Candy Vargo demanded.

I was pretty sure she was fully back in the cussing Candy Vargo mode and leaving the poop-word free Candy Vargo behind.

“That’s me,” Shitty Ritchie called out, giving his hiding place up.

The man really had only two brain cells, and they were definitely not connected.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment. I’d told Gideon, the love of my life—my other half, that I would leave him if he didn’t protect Alana Catherine. I was willing to die for her. Was I willing to sacrifice Shitty Ritchie for the safety of my daughter? I knew, and clearly the Higher Power knew, that there needed to be three—a trinity—to remove It from power. If It eliminated one of the three, the transfer would never happen, and It could go on terrorizing the Immortal and human world forever.

Gideon glanced over at me. I looked back at him and shook my head no. I would not let Shitty Ritchie die. That wasn’t mine or anyone else’s call to make.

And then Richard Smith aka Shitty Ritchie chimed in.

“Let fake Tom Hanks take me,” he whispered. “I’m tired. That shart sperm won’t ever stop. I’ll be running until the end of time. I’m a lucky guy that I finally know what it means to have friends. I can die a complete person due to that. I’m sad that I never got to put my peepee in the love cavity, but, alas, some things are not meant to be. Let me die for my friends. It would make me proud. However, you have to promise me if you ever have a son that you’ll name him Shitty Ritchie in my honor.”

I couldn’t believe that I could laugh in the face of what was going down, but I could and I did. Shitty Ritchie was a piece of work and he was going nowhere fast.

“No deal,” I said. “Richard Smith stays and you will leave. The third of the trinity that you fear will take centuries to arrive. You have nothing to fear.”

“Yet,” Candy Vargo muttered.

Fake Tom Hanks began to laugh. He laughed so hard he fell to the ground in hysterics. It was unsettling to watch. There was no joy in the laughter—no humor. It sounded unhinged. Crawling back to his feet, he eyed me with furious disdain.

I had to admit, it was off-putting to be sneered at by Tom Hanks, fake or not.

“The third exists, Angel of Mercy,” It snarled. “You’ve hidden her in a safehouse.”

Shit. It had to be Tory. Why didn’t we think of that? She was at Candy Vargo’s when the zombies had paid a visit. She was old. She didn’t look it, but that was beside the point. The only piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit was the human-ish part. The positive amidst all the horrible was that June and Jennifer were safe.

“Tory,” Gideon murmured under his breath.

“Bingo.”

“Oh my gosh y’all,” Jennifer yelled from the front porch, holding her laptop high. She was smiling, but also seemed shaky and pale. “I found out. I know who my pappy is!”

Fake Tom Hanks’ eyes narrowed to slits and he zoned in on Jennifer. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Was the Higher Power about to start making good on the threat of destroying everything and everyone we loved?

Candy Vargo, made a run for Jennifer to shove her back into the house.

She was too late.

In a screaming fit of rage, Fake Tom Hanks sent a bolt of electricity straight at Jennifer’s chest. The expression of shock and then agony on my dear friend’s face made me scream.

As she fell to the ground, blood gushed from the wound. “Did Tom Hank’s just murder me? That’s just awful,” she choked out right before she passed out.

Tim’s scream sounded inhuman. He was next to Jennifer so fast I didn’t see him move. He held his dying friend in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Tim was a healer and was sending magic through her body as fast as he could. It wasn’t working. Gram and Mr. Jackson hovered above and wailed. Candy held the laptop in her hands as June and Heather attempted to stop the bleeding to no avail. Everyone was crying.

Fake Tom Hanks had a few parting words. “My work here is done,” he shouted gleefully. “The third has been destroyed. There will be no trinity now.”

I felt like an animal, and Fake Tom Hanks was my prey. I wanted It dead. It was wrong. I knew and I didn’t care. I wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe if I just beat the living hell out of It, that would work. Quickly reminding myself that murder was off the table, I took off at a sprint that rendered me invisible. That bitch was going down. The Higher Power had just killed a human—an innocent human. My friend. Jennifer wasn’t part of the trinity. That wasn’t possible. How in the hell was a human part of an Immortal trinity?”

Right as I was about to pounce on my prey, the Higher Power disappeared in a blast of rainbow glitter. I was lying face-down in the dirt where Fake Tom Hanks had stood only seconds ago. I’d failed.

Gideon picked me up and held me tight. I felt another set of arms go around me and a curly-haired head rest on my shoulder. The arms were female. Heather, Catriona and June were across the yard with Jennifer. Who was hugging me?

“Hi, mom,” Alana Catherine said when I turned my head to figure the mystery out.

She wasn’t a baby. She was the twenty-year-old version, who I’d met on the Higher Power’s plane.

“Oh my God,” I cried out as I threw myself at her and held her tight. “Why? How?”

“Sorry, I’m a little late,” she said, smiling at me. “I kept trying, but wasn’t able to age until now.”

Gideon was completely shell-shocked. He stared at our daughter in wonder. She glanced over at her dad and smiled.

“Hi, dad,” she greeted him.

“Umm… hi,” he choked out. “Is this… you know… umm… permanent?”

Alana Catherine shrugged. “Not sure, but I’m here for a reason. We have work to do. ”

She took each of our hands in hers and led us to where Jennifer lay dying in Tim’s arms. The sight was heartbreaking, and my tears wouldn’t stop. I immediately dropped to the ground and put my hands on her cold body. With all I had, I let my magic flow into her.

Shitty Ritchie and the grown version of Alana Catherine stood together side by side. They looked down at Jennifer with pure sadness in their eyes. I wasn’t convinced that Jennifer was the third of the trinity, but their expressions gave me pause.

“Her chest isn’t moving,” June said in a hushed tone.

Charlie touched Jennifer’s forehead and closed his eyes. “She’s not gone yet.”

Heather was still frantically trying to stop the blood seeping out of Jennifer’s chest. “How is she still alive? A human can’t withstand that kind of blow.”

“Welp,” Candy Vargo said, staring slack-jawed at the computer screen. “I do believe I can answer that fuckin’ question.”

We all looked at her.

“Remember when Tim said he donated some little swimmers about sixtyish years back?”

“Yes,” I said, feeling weird and wonky.

“Well, it’s lookin’ like Jennifer’s bitch of a momma paid a visit to that there sperm bank to get herself knocked up. Says right here in black and white that Tim’s her pappy.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Heather screamed.

“Do I fuckin’ look like I’m fuckin’ kidding you, assface?” Candy Vargo shot back, pulling a sharp jeweled dagger from her belt and handing it to Heather. “Slit her open. I’ll take care of Tim. You start cuttin’ on my word.”

Heather nodded and held the dagger poised above Jennifer’s already bleeding chest.

Tim was speechless, but ripped off his mail uniform jacket and shirt with haste. “Jennifer’s my daughter. Jennifer’s my daughter.” Tears flowed down his face. He was devastated and thrilled. “Jennifer’s my beautiful daughter. I love my daughter.”

“Mazel tov, cake hole. Now, shut it, so I can work,” Candy Vargo snapped. “And I don’t need ya nekkid. I just need your wrists, jackass.”

Without hesitation, Tim offered Candy both of his wrists.

I had no clue what was about to happen, but it wasn’t going to be pretty. However, I wasn’t moving. I might be needed. I’d slit my wrists for Jennifer any day of the week. I didn’t think I could gut her, but it was looking like Heather was up for the job.

Shitty Ritchie and Alana Catherine began to glow. They both looked like ethereal rainbows. Tendrils of their magic filled the air and danced on the breeze.

“Keep that up, kids,” Candy Vargo instructed. “Okay, Heather, on three… You’re gonna slice her from collarbone to belly button. Tim, I’m gonna slit your wrists like they ain’t never been slit. With the left hand, you feed Jennifer your blood.”

“And the right?” he asked.

“You're gonna punch it right into the hole Heather’s about to cut.”

Tim nodded. Heather nodded. I almost puked in my mouth.

“Charlie,” Candy said. “Get your ass up by Jennifer’s head and make sure Tim’s blood goes down her throat.”

“On it,” Charlie said.

“Gideon, light your ass on fire. It’s about to get real fuckin’ cold here and we need to keep Jennifer warm.”

Gideon immediately went up in flames. He got close enough to keep everyone warm but was far enough not to set anyone else on fire.

“Zander and Catriona, need y’all to patrol the grounds and make sure none of them fuckin’ zombies come back.”

They exited immediately.

“What about me?” I asked. “What can I do?”

Candy leveled me with a look. “Hope and pray that this works, Angel of Mercy. Otherwise, Jennifer’s gonna join Gram and the ghosts.” Candy paused for only a moment, then got back to business. “One. Two. Three.”

It all happened so fast, I wasn’t sure I’d even seen it. Heather cut Jennifer from top to bottom with no hesitation. Tim’s hands were barely attached to his body after Candy made her cuts. He immediately shoved one hand into Jennifer’s open body and his other wrist into her mouth. Charlie held Tim’s hand steady so the blood wouldn’t be wasted and gently massaged Jennifer’s throat so it would go down.

Candy had been correct. The temperature dropped dramatically. Gideon stepped a little closer and kept everyone warm. I’d seen some stuff in my time, but nothing as harrowing as this. I prayed hard just like Candy had told me to, but I wasn’t sure who would get the message. I hoped it was the universe and not the Higher Power.

After what felt like a year, but in reality, was only a few minutes, Candy announced we were done. Jennifer still wasn’t moving. With a wave of her hands and a few lines of a melodic and ancient chant, Candy Vargo closed the wounds on Jennifer’s body. Tim healed up fast and gently pulled Jennifer back into his arms. He kept kissing her hair and whispering to her. It was tragic.

The temperature went back to normal and Gideon joined me along with Alana Catherine and Shitty Ritchie.

“What happens now?” I asked.

Candy shook her head and picked her ear with the toothpick that had been in her mouth. “We wait.”

“How long?” I pressed.

“Don’t know,” she replied. “But if she ain’t back after a couple of days, I’m gonna say she’s a goner.”

Tim’s sobs began again, and my heart felt crazy heavy in my chest.

“Do you believe that Jennifer is the third of the trinity?” I asked Candy.

She shrugged. “You need to ask them.” She pointed to Shitty Ritchie and Alana Catherine.

Both nodded in unison. One imperative part of the future of the Immortal world might die. This was unacceptable. Beyond unacceptable.

“Shitty Ritchie, Alana Catherine,” I said. “Is there anything you can do?”

“I don’t know,” my daughter said. “But we can try.”

They knelt down on the ground next to their missing piece and began to glow again. The colorful magic seeped into Jennifer, and she slowly but surely began to breathe. It wasn’t steady. It wasn’t sure or strong, but it was something.

Jennifer would live. I felt it in my bones and my heart.

And what came next? Well, that was obvious. It was time we took out the Higher Power. For good.

The End… for now

Want the next book in the series??? Go HERE to read Semi-Charmed Midlife!