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CHAPTER TWELVE

We gathered in the great room. Everyone was present—Charlie and June, Jennifer, Heather, Tim, Candy Vargo, Zander, Catriona, Gideon, Alana Catherine, Gram and Mr. Jackson, Shitty Ritchie and me. The only person missing was Jimmy George Carrots. I felt his absence keenly, but was comforted by the knowledge that he was finally at rest. He’d done me a solid, and I’d return the favor by making him proud.

The real highlight of the morning was that June had made her famous peanut butter cookies. I’d helped myself to six already and was aiming to make it ten. Candy Vargo was covered in cookie crumbs. She was going at the plate like she hadn’t eaten in a decade. I didn’t blame her. June’s cookies were that damned good.

“Okay people, before I share the conversation that I had with Jimmy George Carrots, I want you to get me up to speed on what happened here in the past four days, please,” I said and then gasped as I watched Alana Catherine get up and start toddling around the coffee table. She was grinning at me like she’d brokered world peace. It was insane. She shouldn’t be able to walk at her age… but she was furniture surfing like a champ. Hell, she shouldn’t have been able to talk either, but she’d imparted some pretty spot-on wisdom lately.

My eyes watered as she let go of the coffee table and took several steps without any assistance.

“That happened,” Gideon said, pointing at our little miracle and smiling so hard his cheeks had to hurt.

“It happened while I was mind-diving?”

Gideon nodded, then gave me a sympathetic look filled with love and understanding. “There will be a lot more firsts to see.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled at him. I was only a little upset that I’d missed her first steps but was thrilled that Gideon got to witness it. I had done my job and dove into the silly seer. I might have missed my daughter’s first steps, but I’d discovered the road map of how to keep her safe from the Higher Power for the rest of time. It was a trade I could live with.

“I’m not sure anything can top that,” I said with a laugh. “But tell me what else went on.”

“I got something,” Jennifer said, grinning like a fool.

Oh yes,” June said, clasping her hands together. “Tell Daisy. She’ll love it!”

Jennifer dunked a cookie in her wine and then let it rip. “Tim and Charlie helped me sign up on one of them DNA ancestry sites,” she explained. “I’ve got a real good feelin’ I’m about to find my pappy!”

I smiled outwardly, but winced internally. Jennifer might look fifty, but she was sixty-five. There was a good chance he wasn’t alive anymore. For her sake, I hoped he was.

“We’ve got some bets going,” she added with a cackle as she popped the wine-soaked cookie into her mouth then promptly spit it back out into a napkin. “That combo does not work, kids. Don’t try it at home.”

“Got it,” I said with a grin. “What’s the bet?”

Gram got into the game. “We’re all throwin’ our guesses into a hat about who Jennifer’s pappy might be. I guessed Bob Barker!”

“Of course, you did,” I told her.

“I’m thinking Walter Cronkite,” Jennifer volunteered with a wink. “But I’m hopin’ it’s Elvis. He’s a southern boy. There’s a two percent chance he might have visited Georgia and banged my momma.”

“You never know,” June said with a giggle.

“You got that right, June,” Jennifer said. “I’m gettin’ the results later today!”

“I guessed David Hasselhoff,” Shitty Ritchie bellowed. “The Knight Rider and an excellent crooner.”

“I hate to break it to you, little dude, but David Hasselhoff is only a few years older than Jennifer,” I informed him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he huffed. “I plan to win!”

“Good luck with that, shart stain,” Candy Vargo told him.

Gideon pressed his temples and closed his eyes. The gals… and Shitty Ritchie were too much for him sometimes.

“Anything else?” I asked.

Zander spoke up. “The foster kids are doing wonderfully along with Missy and Amelia. Rafe and the gang have it well covered.”

“True that,” Catriona agreed with a smile and then sobered up quick. “However, I must say I’m blown away that the Higher Power has been reanimating the dead. That’s screwed up and every kind of illegal.”

“Punishable by death,” Heather reminded everyone.

I held up a hand. “We’ll get to that soon enough.”

The gasps were loud. I didn’t blame them. I’d now confused and probably terrified everyone in the room. I was iffy myself, but since there was no third part of the trinity yet, death for the Higher Power would have to wait… hopefully a very long time.

Shitty Ritchie raised his hand. I considered not calling on him, but decided against it. Honestly, it didn’t matter if I ignored the turd. When he wanted to talk, he talked.

“I’d like to announce that I’m moving to Georgia,” Shitty Ritchie informed the group. “If anyone happens to know of an open cave that I could squat in, I’d be ever so grateful.”

“For the love of everything farkin’ pathetic,” Candy Vargo grunted. “You can live in my guest house. But lemme tell you somethin’ now, nard. If you behave like a spoiled little trash tornado, I’ll tan your ugly bahookey until there’s nothin’ left of it. We clear on that, corn boob?”

“Very!” Shitty Ritchie screamed. “It’s thrilling!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Candy said with an eye roll. “I got kids. I’m a ball-eatin’ mom. And I don’t give a testicle if you like me, but you’re gonna be sweet with my kids. I’m a neurotic, helicopter, Karen parent. If you don’t like it, you can lump it. I’ll be bossin’ your bahookey too.”

“Oh my God!” Shitty Ritchie shouted as he bounced with excitement. “My therapist is going to make so much money off me this year!”

If he was the future of the Immortals, we were in trouble. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was going to continue to live in hiding and not with Candy Vargo, but I’d get to that shortly. However, if he lived with Gideon and me for a few centuries, we could knock some sense and manners into the tiny dude… or we could try .

“Is everyone ready?” I asked.

“Born that way, mothersharter,” Candy answered.

Tim had his notebook out and he was ready to take notes. I wasn’t quite as ready, but there was no time like the present to freak the fuck out of everyone.

“Okay, here we go…” I said, then proceeded to lay it out.

It took all of an hour to share the entire encounter since there were so many questions. Gideon had gone completely silent when he learned of Alana Catherine’s true calling. He didn’t like it. Neither did I, but it was her destiny.

The people closest to me were silent and contemplative. I’d just unloaded information that would change the order of how the Immortals had existed for millions of years. The smart thing to do would be to alert the Goddesses of the Darkness about what was going to happen, but since we most likely had hundreds of years to get used to the idea, we could wait. If anyone fought us on it, I would destroy them. My daughter was my priority. Period.

“I’m still not satisfied as to why the Higher Power sent zombies after June,” Charlie said. His voice was tight, and he was holding back his magic with effort.

“Or me,” Jennifer reminded us.

I shook my head. “The only guess I can make is that it was leverage for a trade,” I replied.

Charlie nodded. It was jerky and terse. I didn’t blame him. His love for June was absolute, just like my love for Alana Catherine. He stood up and motioned to both of the women in question. “Stand over there,” he instructed, pointing to the archway in the kitchen. “With your backs to me, please walk across the room.”

I knew what he was doing. He was checking for footprints. Only Immortals had footprints, so to speak. If either June of Jennifer had them, the plot would change dramatically.

June and Jennifer did as asked. Charlie examined the ground they walked with scientific precision. I didn’t see anything, but Charlie was far more experienced than me.

“Nothing” he said with a sigh of relief. “Neither June nor Jennifer has a footprint. As much as it disgusts me, and it does disgust me, I believe that Daisy’s assumption that the Higher Power was going to take a hostage was correct.”

“Can’t believe I’m gonna say this considering every shartin’ thing that could go wrong… like the entire corn ballin’ world comin’ to an end, but I do believe it’s time for a change,” Candy Vargo said. “Little concerned that the magical nard is gonna be in charge though.”

“Word,” Heather said, shaking her head. “I’ll take things that will give me nightmares for centuries for two hundred, Alex.”

Shitty Ritchie was positively elated. Although, he was far more into the part about offing the Higher Power when the third of the trinity revealed itself than the fact that he would become part of the new and improved Higher Power.

Candy Vargo turned to Gram and pre-gamed her apology. “Gram, I’m about to cuss. If I don’t, I’m gonna pull a Shitty Ritchie and knock the house down. We cool?”

“Darlin’, you go right ahead. My knickers are in such a knot right now, I feel like droppin’ a few f-bombs myself.”

Candy walked over to the fireplace, stepped up onto the hearth, and inhaled deeply. She put a few toothpicks into her mouth and was ready to roll. “Motherfucker, shit, damn, son-of-a-bitch, fuckwit, shitstain, twat, shithole, fucker, fucker, fuck, fuck, fuck!” she bellowed.

We waited for more. She didn’t disappoint. The diatribe went on for a good ten minutes. Gram floated over to Alana Catherine and put her ghostly hands over her ears. I wasn’t sure it helped, but the gesture was appreciated.

When Candy was finished, she stepped off the hearth and sat down on the couch. She petted my dogs like nothing had happened.

“You feel better?” Heather asked Candy with a grin.

“Much, corn nut,” Candy Vargo told her. “While I’m gettin’ used to using more socially acceptable language like testicles and bahookey, sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I figure that a few poop words thrown out into the world is a better option than mass destruction.”

“Few might be exaggerating a bit,” Jennifer said with a laugh. “But I think the world’s a better place with a couple of Candy Vargo f-bombs in it.”

“Thank you, butthole,” Candy said.

“Welcome, turd face,” Jennifer replied.

Gideon stood up. He pinned me with an intense gaze. “It’s time to leave.”

He was right, and that’s when the reality of what we were about to do hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt it physically. I was about to leave behind part of my heart. I had no clue if I’d ever see any of the people sitting in this room again. My siblings weren’t here. I couldn’t even say goodbye to Rafe, Gabe, Abby and Prue. Missy wasn’t here. She’d been my BFF since we were kids. Amelia wasn’t here. She’d become like a sister to me. The need to scream was real.

I didn’t.

My eyes scanned the room. Heather was trying to hold it together. My sister was my rock. The thought of not seeing her was painful. I realized I’d never find out who Jennifer’s pappy was. I’d never eat one of June’s peanut butter cookies again or be graced by her kindness and beautiful giggle. But… we had to go.

The life of my daughter was on the line. I would do what I had to do. Most of the people we were leaving behind were Immortal. Forever was a long time. I would see them again. But June, Jennifer, Missy and Amelia… they would be long gone from this world by the time it was safe for us to come home. My eyes filled with tears, and they rolled down my cheeks. I knew I’d be crying for a long time.

“Umm… okay,” I whispered, trying to hold my shit together for my baby and everyone else. “It’s time to go. Gram, will you and Mr. Jackson come with us?”

“Yes, baby, we will,” she promised. “I ain’t never leavin’ you until it’s my time to move on.”

I nodded jerkily. And that’s when I noticed Candy Vargo, the baddest of the badasses begin to cry. I knew she would miss me, Gideon, Alana Catherine and possibly even Shitty Ritchie, but Gram was her world. Gram was the mother she’d never had. It was devastating to watch Candy’s heart break.

I started to hug everyone quickly. If I lingered too long, it would be harder to leave. The urgency to get going became very real now that the story had been told.

“I’m ready,” I told Gideon as I scooped Alana Catherine into my left arm and Shitty Ritchie into my right. “It’s time to go.”

The explosion in the front yard rocked the house. The shock on my face and the faces of the people I loved was terrifying. Zander sprinted to the window and swore viciously.

“Change of plans,” he ground out. “The zombies are back.”

Gideon encircled our baby and me in his arms, and I threw up another protection ward around Alana Catherine, then glanced at Gideon. “Can we transport out of here? ”

He shook his head. “I just tried. There’s something blocking the magic.”

“It’s the Higher Power’s magic,” Shitty Ritchie hissed. “It’s got us trapped like rats on a sinking ship!”

I frowned. “We fight, then?”

Gideon nodded. “No choice.”

Crap. We’d waited too long to escape danger, and the danger had found us.