Page 24

CHAPTER 23

J essica

“I’m supposed to hate you,” I told him as a rush of emotions pushed me to a steep precipice, a cliff I could easily drop off.

“Do you?”

“I don’t know what to think.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you still believe I had anything to do with Shanna’s death.” Xander’s voice was imploring, yet even darker than before. The look in his eyes was filled with emotions, but I couldn’t read what they were.

“Why would my father lie?”

For the first time since I’d met him, his expression softened. “To protect you. I don’t blame him. I’m not a good man and he knows that. However, hurting Shanna was never my intention.”

He was offering me a way out if that’s what I wanted. This had nothing to do with the game or with Sinner. I was standing in a room with Xander Blackwell, a tortured man.

But he wasn’t the monster I’d made him out to be.

Surrender.

“Tell me what you want, Jessica.” He narrowed his eyes, his chest rising and falling.

The spiral of emotions would be difficult to explain to anyone, but the desire that I couldn’t squelch would never be understood.

And I honestly didn’t care. “This. I want this.”

As Xander cupped both sides of my face, rubbing my jaw, the rough pads of his thumbs scintillated my core. The flash of heat was unlike what I’d experienced before with him during the hunt. Or during the feast after he’d broken the boundaries of my home.

My pulse was still high and I darted my eyes back and forth across his. There was something about him that I couldn’t deny. The hatred still existed, but the desire was much stronger, the sensations driving out everything else.

He crowded my space, adding more pressure to his firm hold. I was captured by him, his power and his dominant personality. As Xander slowly lowered his head, I was certain my heart had stopped beating altogether.

“I will always protect you,” he muttered just before capturing my lips. There was no movement for a few seconds, no sound other than the rapid beating of my heart echoing in my ears.

A small part of me knew I should push him away, but the larger part, the one that had taken over every rational thought wanted something else altogether. I gripped his wrists, digging my nails into his skin as he swept his tongue inside. His hold was commanding yet tender.

Every move he made was slow and easy, allowing me to become used to what he was doing.

But I knew in the back of my mind this was just the beginning. He wasn’t a gentle lover, not by any standards. There were no masks, no sense of the anonymity that had protected both of us from the truth of reality. This was hard, cold, and would soon be brutal.

As if reading my mind, he rolled one arm around my waist, lifting me onto my toes. I slid my hands up along his muscular arms, marveling in the feel of them as the heat continued to build. His actions slowly became more controlling as he crawled his other hand around to the back of my neck.

I was going nowhere until he was finished with me.

Or until I was finished with him.

The thought brought another wave of tingles as the kiss continued. His tongue dominated mine in a dance of superiority, but he would never allow anyone else to win.

He jerked me as close to his body was possible and I ground my hips against his. His cock pressed against my stomach and I shivered from the realization of how large he was, his shaft throbbing just as my pulse was doing. Rapid and hard. Unforgiving.

Xander’s actions became rougher and I slid my arms around his neck, clamping one hand around his thick strands of hair while raking my nails down his back.

I felt his hand tugging at the zipper on my dress, slowly rolling it down. The cool air in the room couldn’t erase the explosive heat furrowing between us.

Suddenly, he broke the kiss, backing away completely.

I dragged my tongue across my bottom lip, uncertain what to expect.

“Remove your dress for me.” His command was as dark as the man, so husky my legs were quaking.

The way he was staring at me was as if the man would devour me whole. I’d never seen a man’s eyes glow the way his were doing.

I couldn’t stop shaking, nor could I take my eyes off him as I tugged on one side of my dress and the other, shimmying until gravity allowed the silky dress to fall ever so slowly, finally pooling around my feet.

He took a deep breath once my breasts were fully exposed, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling. The expression on his face was even darker, if that was possible.

I took a step from the dress, offering a slight smile even though apprehension mixed with utter excitement. This was something I would never have imagined in a million years.

“Come to me.” The command in his tone turned my legs into jelly. I was a crazy woman for doing this, but I was trembling from the desire to obey him.

Yet I took a single step, almost chickening out. There was no hiding behind a game any longer. This was real. This was crazy. This was dangerous.

But I refused to fall prey to my own fears or to the lies that had kept me imprisoned for so much of my life. I took another step and he dipped his head as he began to unfasten his belt.

My eyes were drawn to his movements, my mind processing what it would feel like to have the strap snapped across my bottom. Maybe I did crave pain more than I’d ever admitted to anyone including myself.

The corner of his lip lifted and I sensed he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Is this what you crave, Desdemona?” he asked as he began to tug the strap from his belt loops. It was the first time he’d used my screen name while still not admitting he was Sinner.

Was he waiting for me to expose him or enjoying our game as much as I was?

I allowed my gaze to fall from his face to the belt, swallowing hard before answering.

“Yes,” I said without thinking.

“Can you handle it?” he mused and cracked the strap against the floor.

It was a challenge, another test of my will. But not my resolve. He had to know what I was capable of, yet here he was pushing me into discovering more about myself. That was the way of Xander, forcing someone to embrace their limits then pushing. That much was easy to tell about him.

It was also something I remembered my sister telling me. It was interesting how much I’d thought of her lately, blanks filling like missing pieces of a puzzle. All because I’d finally committed my mind and actions to bringing down a single man, and watching his world crumble.

But as I moved toward him, drawn by his magnetism, I wanted to laugh at myself for believing such mediocre bullshit. I wanted exactly what I suspected Shanna had had before her untimely death.

When I was six inches away, he folded the belt, rolling it down between my breasts. He lowered his head, trailing his gaze behind his actions as he flicked the edge across my right nipple several times.

Already taut, my breasts started to ache from the firestorm of sensations. I closed my eyes only briefly because I wanted to see everything he was doing.

Everything he did to me.

Xander shifted the belt between my barely open legs, inhaling as if gathering the whiff of my desire that I’d fought to keep from him. I’d never felt so exposed. Even during the hunt, I’d felt powerful, as if there was nothing I couldn’t do. Now I was extremely vulnerable with no headset to hide behind. No ability to stop the game if I felt uncomfortable.

This wasn’t about winning or losing. This was about recapturing my soul. The only loss might be one of anger. We would see what the future would bring.

He closed the distance, using his fingers instead of his hand to explore my torso, brushing his fingertips ever so slowly around one hardened bud then the other. I couldn’t stop quivering, the excitement building to a frenzy.

The expression he wore was positively carnal. He didn’t need the mask to provide a hint of fear. He could do that all on his own. But there was also a tremendous amount of desire mixed in, enough so his nostrils were flared.

His actions weren’t as gentle as before as he allowed his gaze to fall, returning his eyes to my lace panties, the only slip of lingerie I’d been able to wear under the body-hugging dress.

I was certain he would rip them off, but he merely guided me by the arm toward the back of the couch, placing me an inch behind. He rubbed my cheek with his knuckles, shaking his head as if admonishing me. Or preparing me for his brand of punishment.

My mouth and throat were now dry, my mind continuously spinning with anticipation, images of the night he’d feasted on my pussy in my house overtaking everything else.

“I hope you know what you’re asking for,” he said in a quiet voice as he patted me on the bottom.

“I do.”

“Mmm… A very brave woman to ask a monster for a taste of the strap.”

I honestly had no clue what to expect. The use of Sinner’s hand followed by the switch had merely broken through the surface. It had all happened so quickly. He’d merely wanted to tease me and nothing more.

I’d heard people braced for moments of discipline such as this, so I dug my fingers into the buttery leather of his couch. I’d anticipated an explosion of discomfort, but I hadn’t expected how my body would react to the sound of the man snapping his wrist.

Suddenly, everything drifted into slow motion, sounds including the moans forced past my lips barely audible. I did hear myself gasping for air only seconds later as the discomfort I thought I’d experience shifted into utter anguish.

I was thrown how my body reacted, my stomach lurching while my pussy convulsed. This wasn’t normal. It couldn’t be.

Xander was highlighting his lack of patience, something I’d heard him call in interviews his number one flaw. I’d found it almost the only endearing aspect about him. Now his lack of patience meant he was bringing the belt down in brutal strikes, one coming right after the other.

There was no sound coming from my throat any longer, unless the strangled heavy breaths counted. I wiggled back and forth as the anguish blossomed into something more intense, extreme heat building on both ass cheeks.

I don’t know what I’d expected, but sensing how wet I’d become, knowing my thong was soaking wet boosted the sweep of endorphins.

He was so quiet as he stood behind me, my Sinner. But the crackle of electricity we shared was all around us, spinning out of control. He rubbed his hand down my spine, taking his time doing so. The moment he shoved his thumb in the crack, finding my asshole, I gasped out loud. I pushed up from the couch, the discomfort different than before.

When it quickly morphed into a feeling of exhilaration, I realized I had a smile on my face. He didn’t start again immediately. I heard rustling and dared tilt my head over my shoulder.

He’d removed his shoes and trousers, allowing me a wonderful view of his magnificent body. My God, he was perfect top to bottom. Even the shape of his legs was as if crafted from stone.

I was as shaken by seeing him this way as I’d been with the first strike of the belt.

With a deep sigh, he brought the belt down four additional times.

The sound got to me, the hard cracking mimicking the ragged beating of my heart. He knew what I needed more than I did. The realization kept the moment surreal, just another dark fantasy no game could ever match.

He fell into a rhythm, his breathing matching the crack of the belt and my gasps and moans. As the heat in my bottom grew, I found myself pressing further into the couch, the pain intense, but swallowed by an even greater pleasure. By the time he tossed the strap aside, my legs were threatening to take me to the floor. He didn’t allow that to happen, lifting me gently, but that was the end of any tender moment.

As he spun me around, I was certain he was going to tell me to run. But there was a different look in his eyes, one of possession.

The single glimpse of his cock brought another feeling bursting through me.

An even more twisted sense of anticipation. His cockhead was glistening with drops of pre-cum covering the slit. I wanted nothing more than to drag my tongue through the slender trickle.

It was thrilling to feel as if I belonged to him. The feeling would pass. That much I knew because this was only remotely different than certain scenes in Dark Nights. I clawed at his chest and shoulders, but he was having none of my need for control.

As he took long strides from the room, he yanked both arms behind my back, easily able to hold my wrists with one hand. He moved into his weight room, which was a surprise. As he eased me down onto a weight bench, careful that my head rested on the platform, he was forced to release my hands.

When I lifted my arms to touch his chest, he pointed a finger at me.

“No. Grab the side bars instead. Do not let go. If you do, I’ll use something harsher than the belt on your tender ass.” His tone was fraught with a deep, dark, and sensual tone that not only captivated me, but urged me to obey.

A strange rush of emotions coiled through me like a venomous snake as I watched him. At least I was allowed to enjoy the view, the veins on his fully engorged cock drawing my attention. His balls were hanging low, swollen and pulsing.

Bending over, he rolled the edge of a single finger from one hip to another, following the line of elastic on my thong. With a strange, extremely possessive look on his face, he tugged the thin, soaked lace past my hips and knees. Once the pair was hung around my calves, he lifted one leg, raking his fingers down the inside before turning his attention to the other.

Watching the way he worked was like looking at the artistry of a master of craftsmanship. For someone who’d blatantly and easily slit another man’s throat, he was so tender I was kept in awe. When I was finally free of them, he pulled my thong to his mouth, inhaling only once, his eyes now cinched shut.

When he opened them again, I could swear his pupils were dilated. He laughed under his breath noticing my expression and placed the leg of my thong at the end of the weight bar. Perhaps it was a reminder that as of this moment, I was his captive.

He wasn’t preening, didn’t seem interested in pleasuring himself. He simply studied me as he stood over me, finally straddling the bench a full minute later. His eyes were unreadable as if he was wearing his mask. He was the master of control, a man who didn’t do anything without a purpose.

Tonight, I belonged to him. There was no concern of whether this was right or wrong because a man like Xander Blackwell simply didn’t care what was decent or what others thought. He took what he wanted, played the game like a warrior and fixated on dominating all those around him.

I tilted my chin, doing my best to keep my hands wrapped around the bars. Hanging overhead was a bar with two thick weights attached at the end. I had no fear of it falling as everything Xander did was meticulous. When he seemed satisfied his prey was willing to obey him, he bent his knees, using one hand to rub the tip of his cock around my belly button.

It was an intimate moment and I held my breath, darting my eyes across his. As soon as he rubbed his cockhead down the length of my pussy, I was unable to express my excitement, the single moan raspier than any before.

He seemed pleased with my response, his eyelids now hooded, reminding me of Sinner more than the billionaire playboy he’d established himself to be. I wondered which was the true mask he chose to wear: his professional one or the one that had dazzled me into submission?

Everything about him was methodical including when he pressed the tip of his cock against my pussy lips. The scent of him was suddenly mind blowing—the deep forest with undertones of leather and citrus. The combination had an intoxicating effect on my nervous system.

As soon as he wrapped his fingers around the weighted bar, he jutted his hips and thrust the entire length of his cock deep inside. He would never be labeled a romantic and this wasn’t about anything but the darkest of passions.

He proved the point by wrapping the long fingers of his other hand around my neck. When he squeezed, I was tempted to smash my hands against his chest.

But I didn’t.

His eyes took on a different effect, a slight iridescent glow. I knew it was from the effects of the harsh lighting overhead, but that didn’t stop my fractured mind from producing images of the mask from before. Maybe I’d felt safer when he’d been wearing it, concealing his identity.

As he fucked me this time, I had a full view of the way his mind worked, the way his eyes captured everything and his smirk indicating he was willing to do what it took to achieve some goal. He wanted my mind frazzled from fear and anticipation, but I refused to bend to the rules of his game.

With my feet on the floor, I was able to lift my hips from the bench, holding the stance as he peered down at me. I was rewarded with a glimmer in his eyes, a smile curling across his full lips. He pulled almost all the way out, daring me to keep my resolve.

I did, dragging my tongue across my lower lip. I could tell I’d amused him. He slammed into me again, the force driving me almost against the bars. I used every ounce of my strength to push us back by even an inch. It was all I could do, but my act impressed him.

This time, my reward was a tighter squeeze on my neck until stars floated in front of my eyes. Xander finally made a sound, a deep growl that sent a wave of tingles all throughout my body. It was exactly the primal one I’d heard in the forest, a wolf in dark clothing.

He started fucking me in earnest, every thrust beautifully brutal and utterly breathtaking. I was lightheaded but could still breathe, the excitement of having a man take so much control over my body and my life a strange and toxic yet powerful aphrodisiac.

There was another swell of emotions as my pussy muscles clamped around the thick invasion. The man was very large, filling me completely. His actions became even rougher. As sweat dripped down from his forehead, trickling down both my sides, my bottom ached from the spanking and slick vinyl on the bench.

The combination was electric.

Panting, I tried to catch my breath as a series of vibrant stars overwhelmed my periphery of vision. Just when I thought for certain I’d pass out, a raging orgasm ripped through me. My core was on fire, the incredible sensations cutting through to the bone. He didn’t slow his actions, only loosening his hold so I was able to grab a huge breath of air.

“Fuck!” I belted out.

He laughed softly as he continued driving into me, hitting my G-spot every time.

The climax continued, deep vibrations pounding in my ears from the lack of oxygen and the sheer pleasure.

As I started to come down, to be able to breathe normally, he removed his hand and I lolled my head to the side.

“You’re beautiful when you come,” he said in a quiet voice, the tone one of reverence.

Using a single finger, he eased my head forward, forcing me to look in his eyes. He continued fucking me, every thrust taking at least five seconds before he issued another.

I sensed it was his way of keeping his personal control. His stamina was incredible and I had no way of knowing how long he continued, but I did know the moment he was ready to erupt deep inside.

Once he did, his entire body began to shake.

As incredible as the moment had been, a true sense of real life crowded over the tingling rapture.

Dread settled into the pit of my stomach like a heavy weight.

Real life didn’t allow for dark and demented fantasies.