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CHAPTER 17

“ W hen you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

—Friedrich Nietzsche

Jessica

There was something so incredible about the darkness, the ability to fade into the shadows while still being able to see everything about you.

At least I could.

I’d learned to love the dark from my father. He’d taught me about the stars and constellations, allowing me to dream big as a kid. I’d gravitated toward computers at an early age, my teachers shocked I’d learned to write code when I was eleven years old.

Some had called me autistic because of my gift, but it was simply that I enjoyed numbers because they never lied. I had no desire to be a boring accountant though. After I’d been given my first real game, not the kids’ stuff played on a handheld when I was six, but games with substance, I’d been hooked.

For some reason, I felt the need to remind myself of that as I drove into the driveway. Maybe it was because of Stephanie’s warning. I was so focused on revenge I’d gotten lost in the pleasure instead of focusing on the intent.

That needed to stop.

Or maybe I needed to stop fixating on destroying a man’s life. In turn, I could potentially create havoc with my own. Shanna would never want that for me. She’d seemed genuinely happy until she wasn’t. Certainly, Xander couldn’t be blamed for the horrible fate bestowed to her. It had been no one’s fault. Unless I wanted to blame God.

After stopping the car, I closed my eyes briefly, shoring up my resolve for about the fifth time. At least I could celebrate having another job offer, a damn good one. What worried me more than anything was whether my thoughts and actions were muddled because of my hatred. If so, I might easily make the wrong decision.

If only Xander wasn’t so handsome. I laughed at myself while thinking about his incredible physique. Neither he nor his brothers fit the description of typical gamers. They looked more like models straight off a magazine shoot or maybe racecar drivers on the French circuit.

Anything but men whose claim to fame was built on hours upon hours developing codes. More power to them. I envied their addiction and attention to detail as well as their professional savvy.

Was it true that people had disappeared while attempting to enter some strange, secret society? Did that mean the final test was involved a real-life scenario?

Whew. That would be hot.

Tricky.

Risky.

Dangerous.

The odds of keeping their secrets forever were slim. People who were told not to say anything were usually bursting at the seams to disobey, sharing the private thoughts willfully. Maybe the people vying to be a part of the society were as drawn to the adrenaline rush as I was.

I had no way of knowing and answers would certainly not be provided to a potential low-level employee.

Time to push my meandering mind aside.

I was home for a quick change. I was both excited and nervous, but not about shopping. I wasn’t looking forward to hunting for a dress at all. But a job offer like the one Sam had offered? Incredible. At almost two hundred thousand dollars for a salary with full medical and dental insurance plus stocks and additional vacation time, the job could be considered a dream.

Being able to put the screws to Xander and his dark-eyed brothers in an entirely different and very legal manner while enjoying the perks of a promotion? Perfection on a stick. Better than sex.

Ugh. I headed up the walk toward the front door, stopping several feet away. What had been left on my porch? A long white box with a huge red bow. A large silver foil bag placed next to it. A lump immediately formed in my throat. There was no reason to be terrified of a delivery except that I didn’t have a boyfriend, it wasn’t my birthday, and my father wasn’t into sending me gifts out of the blue.

Sinner.

The thought furrowed into my frontal lobe although the twisted freak certainly hadn’t acted as if he had a romantic bone in his body. I scanned the street, wondering if he was watching me. The light breeze tickled the leaves in the tree only a few feet away and the sound was ominous. As if a foretelling.

“Stop it,” I whispered to myself.

I slung my purse over my shoulder as I approached, stopping a full foot away and scanning the street a second time. If the packages were from Sinner, they’d be tossed in the trash immediately. I couldn’t stand another reminder of him.

Or about what I’d allowed to happen.

With two more short steps, I slid the key into the lock, stepping over the items and placing my purse on the small table in the entrance foyer. I rubbed my hands together, attempting to find the courage to grab the items. After a few seconds I chastised my behavior. I was really afraid of someone who’d sent me gifts?

With the packages in my arms, I closed the door and headed to the kitchen. When I peered into the bag, I found a card. Almost immediately I knew it was from them.

The Blackwell Group.

Now my hands were shaking as I studied the gold calligraphy writing. They certainly went to a lot of trouble when playing this rather twisted game.

As if you don’t love it.

Yes, I did. That was part of the problem. I’d allowed myself to become lost in false reality and maybe hope.

The package was heavy. Was this last test just another virtual reality situation? Maybe a new headset?

I took a deep breath as I pulled out the card.

Oh, my God. I’d been invited to join in the last private event to be held one week from today. Fuck. The anticipation would absolutely kill me.

Wow. Just fucking wow.

I was a finalist for the job. A laugh bubbled to the surface. A part of me wanted to politely decline, but was I cutting my nose off to spite my face? Without a doubt. Xander obviously had no clue who I was and even when he discovered my true identity, he’d either likely not remember me or not care that I was Shanna’s sister. I was nothing to the man. He was far too influential and powerful.

In those few seconds, I told myself it was okay to want the job even if initially for all the wrong reasons.

Unable to stop my giddiness, I flew toward the cabinets, grabbing a wineglass. I had to open another bottle of wine, which took me a beat given my fingers were fumbling. This could be the true road to success.

I was pouring the red liquid when I thought about how different working with the two companies would be. One formal and the other playful. I wasn’t certain if I could handle stuffy. But… I wouldn’t shove it aside yet either.

The box wasn’t oppressive by any stretch of the imagination, but I still felt overwhelmed. I stared at it as if the devil himself was going to pop out. What was wrong with me all of a sudden?

To hell with it. I wasn’t some chickenshit girl. I was resourceful and full of creativity. Right? I yanked off the bow, yet gingerly opened the lid.

To find the most exquisite black roses nestles inside crimson tissue paper. Black. I lifted one, noticing the horrible-looking thorns and laughed out loud. The gesture reminded me of a double entendre. Perfectly gorgeous albeit unnatural in color flowers with dangerous-looking thorns. The scent of them was incredible and I knew the roses had to be dyed, but whoever had been tasked with the project had done a very good job.

Still, the sight of them brought me both a moment of fear as well as victory. I was certain that was the intent. Now, onto the bag. I tugged off the layers of tissue paper, grinning the moment I saw the contents.

A flashlight and a compass. What the hell? I pulled the compass into my hand, realizing instantly it wasn’t a cheap piece of crap bought from some big box five and dime either. It was the real thing. Wow.

It was going to be a real-life test. And I was invited. Oh, my God. I was elated, thrilled out of my mind.

Crazy for thinking about doing this.

I placed the objects on the table and something else caught my eye. Another card, this one white with blood-red writing.

Your test has been selected.

Meet us at the funhouse, carnival style.

Where your strengths will be reflected.

Keep in mind, you’ll stay awhile.

Use the gifts as required by dark sin.

But remember, only one shall win.

The rhyme was corny, but effective enough. There would be more than one opponent for this test. I was suddenly more excited than I’d been. But a funhouse? I thought about the carnival that was in town. In my mind it was odd that it was being held in June. I had to wonder if the Blackwell Group had influence over the owners of the circus-like event. I’d never been before, but I’d heard there were several creepy rides. In fact, I’d never been in a funhouse before.

Ever.

I’d been too terrified of the dark as a child, sleeping with two lights and the covers firmly locked down around me. It was so strange that after hitting my teenage years, I’d gravitated to horror movies. My interest was a direct influence of the games I’d started playing. While much tamer than the ones of today, they’d paved a road for the shy girl to break free of her chains, resulting in a craving for all things on the dark side.

I studied the poem again and thought about my answers on the great questionnaire. Maybe I had alluded to hungering to go through a haunted maze. Hmmm…

After grabbing the single vase I owned, I added water and carefully placed the roses inside. The fragrance was incredible. I took a few seconds arranging them, suddenly feeling a prick. A thorn had punctured a finger. I held it into the light, watching as slender string of blood trickled all the way down to my hand.

Had Sinner enjoyed killing the man as much as it had appeared?

Another laugh bubbled to the surface and I took a long stride toward the faucet, washing the blood away and grabbing a paper towel. It had been a thorn, not a demonic gesture, for God’s sake.

With the wine in my hand, I backed away to the door, staring at the items for a few seconds before flicking off the light.

Yes, Stephanie had a good idea. Tonight I would shine as a woman.

Next Friday I would win as a competitor.

Look out, Sinner. I’m coming for you.