Page 8 of Silent Verity (Razor Monkees #2)
Dalton
W hatever progress I’d made with Jesse the night before and this morning had gone down the drain.
He was silent the entire ride home, and the couple of times I’d asked him if he was okay, I was pretty sure he hadn’t heard me because he didn’t respond.
Hell, he gave no inkling he was aware I’d been speaking to him.
He was deep in his head, which was a dangerous place for him to be.
Nothing good ever came out of Jesse being deep in his head.
“Jesse,” I tried again when we walked into the house.
He just either pointedly ignored me or once again didn’t hear what I said because he didn’t acknowledge me in the slightest. I was going with the latter because he walked right past all our band mates sitting in the living room like he was a ghost. As if he thought no one could see him.
My heart ached . What the fuck had happened? Everything had been so good just a few hours ago.
“What’s going on with him?” Tor asked, lifting his head from Salem’s shoulder. Salem didn’t even bother looking up from his phone, where he was more than likely playing some kind of game. Kalin stared worriedly after Jesse, and Spike just sighed.
“I don’t know,” I confessed. I dropped into the recliner I’d bought for myself because while I was only in my early twenties, my soul was that of an old man, and I needed old man comforts.
“We had that photoshoot today for a new clothing line. He was okay, then they made us pretend to be a couple, and he just… changed.” I scrubbed my hands down my face before dropping them roughly down to my lap. “I don’t know what the fuck happened.”
“Well, you two haven’t been okay since we moved,” Spike spoke up.
I scowled at him. “You think I don’t fucking know that?
” I heatedly snapped. “But last night, something finally changed. We were normal . And we were okay this morning, too. Jesse finally seemed like he was coming back to himself. Like he was letting me back in.” I closed my eyes and pressed my fingertips to them.
“Fucking Delia ,” I growled. “She fucks everything up.”
“Let me go talk to him,” Tor said, pushing off the couch.
“Babe, don’t go butting into someone else’s business,” Salem lightly scolded, still not looking up from his phone.
Tor spun to face his man and huffed at him.
“I wish someone had butted into our shit a hell of a lot sooner than they did, Salem. Maybe half the heartache and bullshit we put each other through wouldn’t have happened.
” With that, he headed out of the living room and toward the hall that my and Jessie’s rooms were down.
Salem frowned after him, his game now forgotten. Then, he looked at us, his brows furrowed. “What the hell did I do?”
I snorted. “I’m sure Tor will tell you later,” I told him. Since they’d been together, they always communicated their feelings. I rocked lightly. “In the meantime, what the fuck do I do? Jesse’s not the type to be pushed. It just makes him shut down more.”
Salem shrugged. “I used to think I didn’t like being pushed either, but when it comes to things that matter, like Tor, I need to be pushed.
He and I wouldn’t have fixed everything broken between us if not for you guys finally butting in,” he confessed.
“Are you sure Jesse doesn’t have feelings for you, Dalton? ”
I frowned at him. “ What ?” I finally blurted when he just evenly met my gaze, one single brow arched.
“I mean, it’s not that far-fetched of an idea,” Kalin said, turning on the couch and propping his feet on Spike’s legs.
Wordlessly, Spike lifted Kalin’s left foot and began massaging the sole.
“You two have been close as fuck since you became friends. When Jesse needed a safe place to disconnect and dissociate, you were the person he turned to, even if it meant he popped up at your house at two or three in the morning.”
Kalin wasn’t wrong. But I thought that was just because we were best friends. I’d always been in love with Jesse, but I never got the idea that he returned those feelings.
“I never thought…” My voice trailed off, and I found myself recounting so many moments together, trying to see if I’d missed anything, but I hadn’t. It literally just seemed like I was a safe place for him. What the hell were they seeing that I wasn’t? Was I just fucking blind?
“We usually don’t see what’s right in front of us,” Spike said with a shrug. “But I’m pretty sure Jesse at least likes you as more than a friend, Dalton. Especially given the way he is now after you two had to fake a relationship for the cameras and you seem so chill about it.”
“No one knows how torturous that is more than me and Tor,” Salem said. Then, like a fucking lightbulb went off in his head, he groaned and dropped his head back on the couch. “ That’s why he’s mad at me,” Salem muttered.
I snorted, then my eyes widened. I lurched forward. “Oh, my fucking God. You think Jesse is upset because he does like me and wants me that way and it hurt him to think I was willing to fake a relationship with him for our fans but not actually be with him that way?”
“Goddamn—two epiphanies at one time,” Kalin muttered.
I gave him the middle finger, but my eyes remained locked on Salem. “Am I right, Salem?”
Salem nodded and heaved a sigh. “Yep.” He pushed off the couch. “Now, while you try to sort out your drama with Jesse, I’ve got to figure out a way to grovel to Tor.”
Spike smirked. “Good luck. I hope he makes you work for his forgiveness.”
Salem gave him two stiff middle fingers on his way out of the living room.
“What the fuck do I do now?” I asked, looking to Kalin and Spike for help.
Spike shrugged. “You know Jesse the best, Dalton. He hasn’t changed since we moved. He’s just stuck in a constant state of depression and self-loathing. Only you know how to deal with him when he’s like this.”
He was right. I did. And what Jesse needed was love, adoration, and someone to take care of him. Who fucking better to do that than me?