Page 10 of Silent Verity (Razor Monkees #2)

Jesse

I jerked out of my sleep, my heart lurching into my throat. It took a split second for me to realize what’d woken me up.

Someone was knocking on my bedroom door.

Groaning, I glanced at the clock on my nightstand—yeah, I had one of those but it was because I liked the red glow from them.

It added more dim light to my room at nighttime.

I couldn’t stand the dark. Too many bad thoughts bombarded me at night, and the shadows liked to taunt me.

It was only two in the morning. Who the hell would be bothering me at this time?

Sighing, I slipped out of bed, realizing at the same time that I was alone. Tor must have slipped from my room after I’d fallen asleep. Wasn’t surprising though. If he hadn’t left, I had no doubt Salem would have come to drag him back to their room.

Rubbing at my eyes and wincing at how sore and swollen they felt, I made my way to my bedroom door. Swinging it open, I blinked at Spike, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light in the hallway.

“What is it?” I mumbled, yawning.

Spike stepped back a little, jerking his head in the direction of the end of the hall. “Police are here asking to speak to you, and they said they can’t wait until it’s a more decent hour.”

Frowning, I slipped past him and headed for the front door.

Spike followed, which I was thankful for.

I was no stranger to cops, and while I knew they were meant to serve and protect, they only filled me with dread.

There was only so many times a cop could come to your house with social workers to place you in temporary foster care before you just immediately got a sense of dread and doom around them.

With a trembling hand, I grasped the silver handle and pulled the front door open. Two officers were standing on the front porch, and even though there were no social workers present and I was now an adult, nausea still swirled in my gut at the sight of them.

“Can I help you?” I asked, my voice still rough with sleep.

“Jesse Link?” the officer closest to me asked.

When I nodded, he sighed. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, kid, but your mother overdosed a few hours ago.” He handed me a business card.

My ears were already beginning to ring, and I was pretty sure I was going to puke.

“You can contact this gentleman when you’re ready to move your mother to a funeral home or a crematorium.

” He bowed his head to me respectfully. “I’m sorry for your loss, son. ”

With that, they walked off the porch and back to their car.

I stared after them, my knees shaking so badly, I only remained standing because I was gripping the doorhandle with a death grip.

Spike gripped my upper arms and gently eased me back.

When he realized I wasn’t letting go of the front door, he gently pried my fingers loose and nudged the door shut with his foot.

Reaching around me, he locked it, then supported me as he led me toward the living room.

My ears were ringing. My heart was beating too fast. My gut churned, and the room spun.

I dropped onto the couch, my entire body trembling. I’d sent her that money, and she’d no doubt shot it all up her veins or swallowed it all in booze and pills. She’d OD’d because of me .

“I’m going to be sick,” I choked out.

Spike quickly grabbed the small trash can beneath the side table and thrust it at me. I wrapped my arms around it and proceeded to empty my stomach, my retching loud in the otherwise silent house. Spike rubbed my back, doing his best to support me.

As soon as he took the bucket from me, I leaned into his side and proceeded to sob, completely falling apart.

That woman had never done anything for me.

She’d neglected me and abused me all my life, but I’d still loved her.

Still held hope that maybe one fucking day, she’d change.

But instead, I’d inadvertently killed her.

I curled into myself and buried my face in my knees, my hands coming up to tug at my hair so roughly, my scalp smarted, and strands came loose in my fists.

“Jesse, come on,” Spike urged. “Don’t hurt yourself. She’s not worth it.”

I shook my head, needing to hurt before I completely fucking lost myself in my pain and heartache. “Please get Dalton,” I cried. My chest was caving in. “I need Dalton.”

Spike quickly got up. I cried harder, my chest burning. Pain bled through my veins, making my muscles ache. I couldn’t fucking breathe . Why was breathing so goddamn hard?

“Jesse?” I looked up through my tears at the sound of Dalton’s voice.

He was coming into the living room, and the moment his eyes met my teary ones, his expression fell.

“Oh, baby,” he whispered, rushing forward.

He sank onto the couch beside me, sitting sideways, then dragged me between his spread thighs, wrapping his arms tight around me all while he tucked my head beneath his chin.

I sobbed, my fingers curling into his shirt, clinging to him like he was my lifeline. My life raft in the middle of the ocean of pain I was drowning in.

“Let it out, baby. I’m here. I’m always here, and I’ve got you.”

I finally allowed myself to completely fall apart, my agonized cry muffled by his chest.