Page 27 of She’s a Big Deal

Olivia cursed herself for not being able to hide her feelings any better. But it was true that Jeremy’s vicious rant and his obvious hatred for his sister had shocked and upset her. She tried...

“Look, I’d rather forget about it.”

But Grace, of course, would not let it go.

“Just say it,” she demanded. “And don’t try to protect me. I want every word of what that stupid idiot said to you.”

Olivia took a deep breath. She released it sharply.

“Fine.” She suspected this was going to hurt. “He asked me if I knew the truth about you.”

“What truth?”

“That you’d run away from your girlfriend on the day you were attacked instead of helping her. He said you abandoned her. And left her to die. Grace!” Olivia quickly reached for her when she saw all the color leach out of her face. Her lover looked like she might fall. “Have a seat.”

“I’m alright,” came the answer, but her voice was hollow.

“Okay. Sit down anyway.”

“Goddammit. Goddammit, Olivia!”

“Yes, I know.” Olivia led her to the couch and sat down next to her. “It’s okay. I didn’t believe a word he said.”

“I did not leave her!”

“I know that, Grace.”

“Fuck! How dare he say these horrors to you? It’s not okay. I did NOT leave her to die. I was hurt. Almost passed out a few times from my own injuries as I carried her. I tried—” Her voice broke.

“Hey.” Olivia pulled her close and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Grace. Look at me.”

She did, her blue eyes dark and full of fury. “I did not lie to you, Olivia.”

“I never thought you had. Not for a second. You don’t have to tell me the story again. Just breathe, you’ve gone pale.”

“I’m fine.” Grace shot up again and started to pace. Olivia watched her, resigned to the fact that she obviously needed to deal with her anger in her own way. And it was not sitting down to be consoled. “If you’d told me at the house that he said this to you, I would have punched him in the face.”

“That’s why I didn’t. Didn’t want to ruin things for Charlie, for you, and everyone else.”

Grace fixed her with still-heated eyes. “You’re kind. But it’s not too late for me to drive to his place.”

“Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

“Hmm.” She growled through gritted teeth. “And wise, too.” Grace forced a smile, though it did not touch her eyes. “I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with Jeremy that he can never stand to see any of us happy and getting along.”

“He’s an angry guy. Sounds bitter too.”

“Yeah. He’s got some dark in him, for sure.”

“Leave it alone, Grace,” Olivia advised as she watched her run a hard hand through her hair, and pace some more. “I didn’t react outwardly when he told me, so he didn’t get his fun there. He wanted us to be rattled. Don’t make his day by calling him to rant or going over there to punch him.”

Grace did look around the room as if she wanted to smash something.

“I guess he’s even more pissed because of the resort. There, he thought I was out of that picture for good, but somehow, I’m back. With the family on my side and our father’s approval, in charge of things once again. And he’s not.”

“How emasculating for him,” Olivia remarked with a light chuckle and was rewarded when Grace flashed a genuine smile this time.

“You bet.” Finally, she came to sit down. “I’m so sorry you had to deal with him on your own. I did not lie to you, Olivia. I would never do that.”

“Yes. I trust you on this.” Olivia kissed her gently. “Now don’t think about it anymore. Would you like to watch a movie? Lie down with me and relax?”

“I’m too wound up for that.”

“Well, Everett could do with a walk...”

“Great. I can put my new snowflake hat to the test.”

◆◆◆

Grace did her best to let it go. This was only Jeremy, she thought. Forever manipulating and twisting things to amuse himself. He could turn nasty when he felt threatened. No doubt her return, albeit temporary, as she had no intention to make a takeover bid for the resort, had him feeling nervous. And Reece’s news, too… His own twin brother? Gay? Yeah, that must stick sideways in his throat. Olivia was right. She should definitely take the high road on this one, and let it go. And Grace really thought she had, un til she fell asleep that night, and her mental barriers all went down. All of a sudden, she found herself back on that awful day. She knew she was dreaming at first. Then she became lost in the emotions of the memories. From the innocent joy of meeting her girlfriend on a pure, snowy Christmas Eve, to annoyance when the group of young men showed up. She felt the pain as they started to beat her up, and red-hot rage when she realized she did not stand a chance against so many. Such a cowardly bunch they were. Soon, her anger turned to fear. Not for her own self, as Jeremy tried to convince Olivia; but at the notion that she would not be able to defend her partner. And what would they do to Miriam when she was down for the count? Jeremy’s accusation had pushed the right button, indeed. Hit the raw part of herself that felt guilty for the death of her girlfriend, and manifested in the dream. Miriam had trusted her the same way Olivia said she did. And yet, Grace had failed her. She was not strong enough. Not fast enough.

“Grace!” Miriam screamed. “I did not want to die!”

Blood in the snow and all over Grace’s hands and face.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her heart breaking. “I am so sorry!”

And now it was Olivia’s blood. And Olivia’s liquid brown eyes stared back at her. No anger. No screaming accusations. Olivia just looked so sad.

“Don’t go,” Grace cried to her. “Don’t leave me!”

“I’m sorry… I have to.”

“Olivia. No. Please!”

Stretches of dream time, her arms aching from the weight of her. Olivia… Miriam. Merged into one now. Dead. Gone. Though she knew this, Grace would not stop walking. In snow up to her knees, it felt like mud sucking at her heels. Dragging her down and costing her precious time as she carried her dying girlfriend to safety. Don’t go, Miri. I’ve got you now. You’re going to be okay.

“Grace?”

Come on, babe, we’re almost there!

“Grace.”

No. Don’t leave me. Desperation now, because deep down, Grace already knew. Miriam . Olivia!

◆◆◆

“Grace!” Olivia yelled at her for the third time. “Wake up now!”

They had gone for a soothing walk, or so she really hoped it had been. Two and a bit easy miles which proved too much for little Everett. So, Grace tucked him safely inside the front of her jacket, where he promptly dozed off.

“I’m kinda jealous now,” Olivia joked and got her lover to laugh again.

“Catch you up when we get home,” Grace promised.

Olivia kept one arm locked tightly around hers while they walked the snowy streets. They talked about Miami. About her own work. And Grace’s new design ideas for the Excelsior chain. Anything but touchy, painful topics. Back at the house, she lit a fire in the bedroom and pulled on a nightshirt.

“What are you doing?” Grace protested.

“Oh, yeah.” Olivia chuckled and she got rid of the shirt. “Good point.”

They caught up, as promised, and fell asleep in each other’s arms. Just after three A.M., a single scream wrenched Olivia out of a deep slumber. She jerked upright, her heart pounding, and dove for the light. Her puppy, in his basket in the corner of the room, whimpered softly when she looked at him. Olivia blinked hard, relieved to find no intruder in the room. Even so, not all was well. Grace sat staring at the wall with a far-away look in her eyes and tears running down her face. When Olivia reached out to touch her arm, she found her to be as hard and rigid as a piece of steel.

“You’re having a nightmare. Hey Grace?” She knelt in front of her and managed to turn her slightly toward her. “Look at me.”

Grace stared right through her at something only she could see. Trembling. “Don’t go.”

“I’m here,” Olivia assured her.

“Don’t.” The look in her eyes was pure misery.

“I am right here in front of you.” Insisting, Olivia took her face in both hands. “Look at me. Wake up, Grace, that’s enough now!”

She was cold, her breath coming out in ragged bursts. For sure it was a frightening moment, not being able to bring her back from this. At a loss, Olivia just wrapped her arms around her and held her close. She gripped tighter when Grace tried to push her back, even as she repeated those two words. Don’t go.

“It’s okay. Just a dream. Wake up, Grace, you’re okay.”

Olivia kept whispering gently to her until she felt a slight change in her body. She was not so tense now, and the shaking was not as bad.

“Olivia?” Grace asked in a raw, broken voice.

“Yes.” Olivia squeezed her gently. “Right here.” Okay, she was back, eyes focused fully on hers now through a remaining sheen of tears. Olivia ran her fingers through her tousled hair and kissed her softly on the lips. “Bad one, huh?”

Grace swallowed twice, hard. “Yeah.”

“You can tell me if you think it would help. You don’t have to, but…”

A fresh wave of pain made the tears sparkle. “I dreamt of the attack again.”

Of course... Courtesy of your stupid brother , Olivia reflected in frustration. She kept silent about that, aware that a rush of anger from her was the last thing Grace probably needed at this point.

“I’ll get you some water,” she offered instead but turned back sharply at her next sentence.

“I failed, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t protect you.”

“Me?”

“Her,” Grace corrected with a wince. She rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache, which would not be surprising. “I mean, Miriam. It was her in the dream, as always. But toward the end, she had your face. You were bleeding in the snow. And you looked at me so sad—”

Ah. God! As Grace’s breath hitched, Olivia grabbed hold of her again tightly. “I’m so sorry, Grace.”

Grace leaned into the embrace for only a couple of seconds before pulling back with a defiant statement.

“I’m okay. I’m fine.”

“Well…” Olivia strongly suspected that she was not. Not completely, this was blatantly obvious. And for this stuff to rise to the surface in such a violent way after a single trigger, it had to still be extremely close under the skin to begin with. “Take your time, okay?”

Grace nodded, though it was more like a gutsy jerk of the chin. Hurt and sadness gave way to a cool, flat expression in her eyes. Regaining control by sheer strength of will. It was like watching iron shutters rolling down on her emotions .

“Sorry I scared you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Would you like a glass of water?”

“No. Thanks. I need coffee.”

“It’s 03:20. Middle of the night.”

“I have my laptop in my bag. I can do some work.”

Her face was as white as the snow outside. And if you knew how to look, which Olivia was beginning to learn very well, you would see that her eyes still held a heavy touch of haunting from the dream. But she was already getting up, and Olivia assumed it would do no good to argue.

“Anybody ever told you you’re as stubborn as a mule?” she just said.

“Sure. No, stay,” Grace added in a softer tone, as she was going to follow her out of bed. “Go back to sleep, Liv.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. I’ll make you some coffee at least and sit with you if you insist on getting up now.”

Grace opened her mouth, closed it again, and gave a quick shake of the head.

“Alright. Mind if I take a shower?”

“Of course not.”

Olivia watched her walk into the bathroom and close the door quietly behind her. Something wrong, she thought, and not just the dream. Feeling sad and dejected, but determined not to let it show, she gave Everett a quick cuddle, then headed to the kitchen to put coffee on the go. Whether Grace wanted her to or not, she was going to take care of her in the best way that she could. Some of this also meant making pancakes, so Olivia got to work.