Page 38 of Settling the Score (The Karma Club #4)

After a week of sunshine, on the morning of the wedding, it rained. It wasn’t forecast, expected or ideal.

But when Sienna walked into Astrid’s enormous suite carrying three cups of strong coffee, and one decaf for mum-to-be, and juggling a bag of pastries into the mix, it was to find her three besties locked in whispered conversation, apparently barely cognisant of a little thing like rain on Astrid’s beach-side wedding day.

Something ran the length of Sienna’s spine, something that made her shiver. Or worry. She stopped walking, as three pairs of eyes turned to look at her in unison.

‘Morning,’ she said, but a little hesitantly.

She couldn’t say why, but she was picking up seriously strange vibes off these women who she thought of as sisters.

She placed the bag down on a table, realising belatedly that there was already an incredible spread of food courtesy of the island staff, so there’d been no need to pilfer the buffet.

‘Hiya.’ Bella smiled, but her cheeks were flushed. Guiltily.

‘What’s going on?’ Sienna asked, handing out coffees.

‘Just a… difference of opinions,’ Paige explained, though the explanation was insufficient, because Sienna had no idea what that difference of opinion could entail.

‘Can I help?’ she offered.

‘No,’ Paige and Bella said.

‘Yes.’ Astrid overrode them. ‘And as it’s my wedding day, and I’m the bride, my vote counts double.’

‘That would still make us tied,’ Bella pointed out.

‘So let me break the tie,’ Sienna suggested. ‘What’s going on?’

Their lips compressed. A knock sounded at the door, and it pushed open. ‘Make-up time!’ a woman’s voice called jubilantly into the room.

Astrid sipped her coffee, appraising Sienna carefully. ‘Would you just give us two minutes, please?’

‘No problem, beautiful.’

The door closed behind the cosmetician.

‘Astrid?’ Sienna tried to keep the impatience from her voice.

It was, after all, her bestie’s wedding day.

But she didn’t like the feeling that they’d all been talking about her.

Even though she knew they’d always have her best interests at heart, it hurt to feel excluded, in any way, from this group they’d formed.

‘We think you need to talk to Aiden,’ Astrid said, carefully.

Paige nodded sagely.

‘As in, today,’ Bella added.

‘I thought you had a difference of opinion?’ Sienna said, to buy some time. ‘It sounds to me like you’re all perfectly in agreement.’

Bella pulled a face. ‘In essentials we are.’

‘There was some back and forth about how much we should strong-arm you,’ Paige admitted.

‘Or whether we should just manoeuvre a meeting between the two of you,’ Bella said apologetically.

Sienna shook her head. ‘I don’t understand you guys. Why would you want to manoeuvre a meeting between me and Aiden?’

Paige and Bella looked at each other, then at Astrid, who held Sienna’s gaze. ‘He’s in love with you, babe.’

Sienna stood stock still. No, that wasn’t completely accurate.

She almost spilled her coffee, so shocked was she by the most ridiculous, preposterous idea she’d heard in her entire life.

She didn’t know what was worse – hearing those words, or hearing them from the mouth of a woman who knew why it wasn’t true. ‘I’m sorry. What ?’

‘You should have seen him last night,’ Astrid continued. ‘Like some kind of wounded child bear. All confused and not understanding, trying to connect the dots and make sense of everything that’s happened over the last, oh, I don’t know, eleven years or so.’

Sienna closed her eyes against the surging rush of feelings. Feelings she absolutely didn’t want to experience right now, on her best friend’s wedding day. Feelings that were threatening to make her scream and rant and cry and hurl things around the room.

Anger.

Impossible, enervating anger.

Rage.

Disbelief.

Incredulity.

Fierce, all-consuming rejection.

How she hated him for this! How she hated him for being such a dense-witted fantasist!

‘He doesn’t love me,’ she said, carefully, surprised she sounded so calm when her ears were ringing and her blood was pounding. ‘And I sure as hell don’t love him.’

Another look between the three, only this time, even Astrid succumbed, worry lining her pretty face. This was getting way out of hand.

‘Anyway, this is your wedding day, and I absolutely refuse to have another word spoken about my one-time boyfriend. Okay?’

‘But he’s my future brother-in-law,’ Astrid pointed out gently. ‘And I promised I’d do this.’

Sienna’s jaw dropped. ‘He asked you to talk to me?’

‘He—’

‘So, let me get this straight.’ The tenuous control she’d held on her temper was starting to slip. ‘Not only does this asshole think he’s in love with me, he’s too screwed up to tell me that himself? What the actual hell?’

‘He’s not an asshole,’ Paige said softly. ‘We all agree about that.’

‘Oh, well, I’m so glad you all agree,’ Sienna said, slamming her coffee cup down then wincing with regret. This was Astrid’s wedding day and she loved these women so damned much – she knew that to be mutual. This was coming from a good place. They just didn’t understand.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, as tears filled her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. I’m just – you have to understand. This is so completely a no-go zone for me.’

‘But the other morning, you said you’re having fun with him,’ Bella pointed out gently, her expression softened with sympathy, as Astrid came up to Sienna and put an arm around her waist.

‘I was having fun with him. That was the point. We both agreed it was just casual sex.’

‘What?’ Paige spat her coffee out, narrowly missing spraying the liquid across Astrid’s stunning cream silk pyjamas. ‘You’re having sex with Aiden?’

There was no taking it back now. ‘Yes. Just sex.’

Astrid, Sienna realised, already knew.

‘He told you?’ she demanded.

‘Last night,’ Astrid confirmed. ‘Not in so many words, but it was obvious that… things have happened between the two of you.’

Sienna ignored the deep throbbing sense of betrayal. Her throat hurt with the force of unshed tears.

‘Things we both agreed would mean nothing. He was very, very clear about that. We both were. He’s got his life in New York, I’m in Ashbury Falls. Neither of us can – or wants – to move.’

‘That’s just geography.’

‘No, it’s a choice,’ she insisted. ‘And the whole sleeping together thing, it wasn’t about starting everything up again. At least, it wasn’t for me.’

‘So what was it? And don’t keep trying to tell us it was casual sex. We know you. That’s not who you are,’ Astrid said firmly.

Sienna’s cheeks flushed.

‘It was closure,’ she said finally. Quietly.

‘It was the goodbye we never got to have.’ A tear slid down her cheek.

‘It was an ending, only this time, we both knew it.’ She sobbed.

‘You guys, this is hard enough for me.’ She sobbed again.

‘I feel like I’ve been pulled in a thousand directions this week, and all I really want is to focus on you, honey.

On your wedding. Your happiness. On you guys.

But Aiden… it’s just…’ She cried properly now, and all three women came and wrapped her in a huge hug.

She stood in the middle of them, feeling their love and support, knowing that even without finishing her sentence, they understood.

‘It was a goodbye,’ she finished, finally.

‘That’s all.’ And she really, really meant that.

She had to. To contemplate anything else, to even let herself start to dream, to hope, to want or imagine more, was a path she would never travel again.

Not for all the money in all the world. Aiden ‘Hockey God’ Carter had proved once before that he couldn’t be trusted with her heart and that was a lesson she’d never forget.

She sniffed and sucked in a deep breath.

‘Now’ – she forced some sunshine into her voice – ‘can we please just forget this and focus on our stunning bride-to-be?’

Astrid stroked her back.

‘For now,’ Paige said, gently.

‘Thank you,’ Sienna whispered, choosing to ignore the implicit promise of that phrasing. That they wouldn’t let it go forever. It didn’t matter. Tomorrow, she’d be off this island and away from Aiden ‘No Future Here’ Carter for good, and she couldn’t freaking wait.

* * *

The day might have started with storm clouds but by mid-morning, when the make-up artist had finished and the hair wizards had arrived to work their magic, the sky had cleared and was once more a perfect shade of azure blue.

Despite the whirlwind of activity happening around them, the four girls sat at the table and chatted like they didn’t have a care in the world.

They laughed, and they snacked, and it was just such a heart-healing day after the upset of that morning that Sienna could almost – almost – forget what Aiden had told Astrid.

Almost, but not quite. So every now and again, while the others were talking, she found her mind drifting over those words, lifting them up and shifting them around in her mind, studying them like a geologist might a rare and fascinating rock.

But no matter how many times and in how many different ways she examined them, her feelings didn’t change. Her anger didn’t recede.

Besides, what did his claim to love her actually mean?

He’d said the same thing when they were teenagers, and he’d still walked away from her.

Had he really changed that much? Would she ever be able to let go of that hurt and trust him?

And how could he even ask that of her? He might not have known, when he came to this island, how much his rejection had cut her.

But he did know now. It wasn’t fair of him to expect her to just set that aside and take some blind leap of faith towards whatever future he promised.