Page 60 of Second Chances (Passion and Perseverance #2)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Opening the door, the cool night air assaulted Beth’s lungs as she sucked in the oxygen that her stress-induced body had begun to lack. They both made it out the door and on to the sparsely populated sidewalk.

At least he hadn’t let go of her hand.

“What’s going on, Darcy?” Beth asked as soon as she determined they were free from being overheard.

“I could ask you the same thing,” was his cryptic response.

“What? I don’t understand. What’s going on is that I’ve been waiting for you to get here so that I could talk to you about what Jane told me,” Beth answered in frustration, stepping closer to him, trying to reach him at least through a physical connection.

“I see,” he said, softly, mimicking her movement so that their chests were just a breath apart, him towering over her. “And what did Jane have to say?”

This wasn’t Darcy; this wasn’t like him at all. Well, no it was like him - the Mr. Intolerable version of him.

“She said that Caroline is back for money,” Beth gushed out, “she’s only here because she needs money that her grandmother willed to her and she’s running out of time and options on how to get it. She’s decided —”

Beth stopped as Darcy’s face broke out into a smile and he began to laugh.

What is going on?

She stared up at him, hurt and confusion painted all over her face.

“You know, you are really good at finding out information about people,” he said, the bitter touch of irony woven into his words.

“I… I guess? Thank you?” she replied, incredulously, “I don’t understand. What do you want me to say? Do you not want me to tell you? ”

“You can,” he began, his gaze looked up for a second, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. “But you can answer something for me, first.”

“Ok…” Beth answered, nervously; her gut telling her that something bad was about to happen.

His head leaned down, right next to her ear, as he whispered, harshly, “This plan that you have to fix everything, should I assume that you’ve already told it to Mrs. DeBourgh? Or are you only supposed to tell her of my life and my plans?”

Oh, God, no…

Beth felt the blood drain from her face, her mouth turning to sand as the implication of his words set in.

She’d never told him that she’d been reporting on him to Mrs. DeBourgh when they had first met, mostly because she had stopped not that long after and then proceeded to put Mrs. DeBourgh in her place.

Their previous business relationship had been completely displaced from her mind.

Everything that had happened between her and Darcy since then had only further removed that brief moment in time from her mind.

But now she could see her error.

Even though it hadn’t been done deceitfully or maliciously, she hadn’t been open with him, like she’d forced him to be with her. Now, it looked like she had betrayed him.

This was Caroline’s plan all along.

“Darcy… it’s not…” she whispered, hoarsely, her mouth barely able to make out the words she was so consumed with fear and anxiety.

“It’s not what?” he asked scornfully, pulling away from her, “please, this I want to know.”

She stifled her whimper at the loss of him.

“It’s not what you think,” she mumbled, her brain caught so off-guard by the accusation, a complete shift of gears from what it had been focused on for days, that she couldn’t think straight; she couldn’t come up with the words to explain or defend herself.

“I don’t talk to Mrs. DeBourgh, you know that I don’t; you know how I ended things between her and me. What she told you isn’t… ”

“Isn’t what? Isn’t true?” He laughed harshly, “Did you or did you not give Mrs. DeBourgh personal information about me, my life, my comings and goings?”

She was caught and the worst part about it was that she could see the thread of hope glimmering in his eyes, begging for her to deny the accusation.

But she couldn’t, because it was true.

Her mouth opened and shut, tears rushing to the surface of her eyes, beginning to spill over. She couldn’t do it. In that moment, she couldn’t find the words to admit to what she had done.

Beth closed her eyes and nodded, painfully, feeling the hot rush of tears that had been freed course down her cheeks.

The silence that followed was suffocating. Beth opened her eyes again to see him staring at her, neither of them able to find the words to speak. His face was etched with so many emotions: anger…pain…betrayal.

The last gave her the strength to break through the emotional wall muting her.

“But, it’s not what you think,” she began, her voice thick with unshed tears.

“Not what I think? No, Beth, you spied on me for a woman who has tried to control me and her daughter for most of my adult life. How much did you tell her, I wonder? Did you tell her what is really going on between Anne and me? Did you tell her about Caroline? God only knows what she will try to do with that information.”

“No! No, I didn’t —” Beth began to plead, but cut off as Darcy raised his hand, indicating for her to stop.

“You didn’t? How can I believe you? Our very first interactions seem to have been built on secrets and lies.

She certainly knows about Caroline now and if you didn’t tell her, who did?

Caroline? I doubt that would help Caroline’s case very much, knowing what Cathy’s hopes are,” he scoffed.

“No, Beth, I don’t know what you think it is, but what I think you did is nothing short of betrayal. ”

“I didn’t mean to, please, Darcy,” she begged, “I’m so sorry. Please, just let me explain. ”

“God, part of me wants to, Beth, it really does, but the other part of me knows that if I don’t leave here now, I’m going to be in worse shape than I was six years ago,” he admitted painfully, the anger repressed by the pain of her betrayal.

“Please… I love you,” she whispered, thickly, one last time.

Tears washed her face at his ironic laugh that responded to her words.

“That’s the worst part; that’s the fucking worst part.

” The sadness in his laugh that followed tore right through her.

“I loved you and I believed that you loved me too because I could see that you were nothing like her, but I was wrong to think that that was going to work out better for me.

At least with her, I knew where she stood, even though I chose not to believe it for a long time.

But you, I believed you when you told me where you stood, when you told me you loved me, and now, I realize that even with every reason to trust you, I shouldn't have. No, believing that you cared about me only to learn that you did this is a thousand fucking times worse than anything that Caroline ever did.”

A sob escaped her, her hands coming up too late to cover her mouth. His words tore through her like a hot knife through butter.

God, everything that he said was true.

“I’m sorry…” she choked out.

“Goodbye, Beth,” he replied, his voice devoid of all emotion.

She watched in agony as the stony mask that had ruled his face when they had first met began to rebuild itself over his achingly beautiful features.

She watched, through watery eyes, as Darcy turned and walked toward the curb where his car was waiting and climbed in, leaving her standing there, frozen in place with desolation, as the tears rolled down her cheeks in droves.

What had she done?

What was she going to do ?

And then, her mind went blank; maybe it was from the stressful over-thinking of the Caroline situation this past whole week, or maybe it was from the all-consuming devastation of losing the man that she loved, the irony of which was not lost on her - losing the love of her life, not because of the woman she viewed as the most obvious threat to her happiness, but because of the woman she had thought the least - herself.

Regardless of the reason, the next thing Beth was cognizant of doing was climbing into her old bed in Jane’s apartment.

She didn’t know how she got there, or what had happened after Darcy had left; all she knew was that when she woke tomorrow morning she’d pray it would be to realize that this was all a bad dream.

“Beth?” Jane’s soft knocking pulled Beth from her slumber.

She peeled her tear-stained face off of her pillow just as Jane opened the door, concern immediately flooding her sister’s eyes.

“What happened? Are you ok? You disappeared last night and I assumed you left with Darcy, but then I got home and found you here…”

Beth groaned as she pulled herself up to sit in bed, still wearing her clothes from last night.

“I’m sorry,” she answered hoarsely.

Her mind fought the inevitable reality that last night was real, last night happened, last night she lost Darcy.

“What happened?”

“Fought with Darcy; it’s over,” her voice cracking on the last.

“What? Why?! I thought knowing about Caroline was going to make things easier, I don’t understand.”

“I betrayed him, Jane; it’s my fault,” she admitted in defeat, feeling her eyes try to muster up more tears, unsuccessful in their attempt as she had apparently used them all last night.

“What do you mean? ”

“I betrayed him. I spied on him for Mrs. DeBourgh months ago right after we first met. She hired me to do her PR, but it was only because of the proximity that I had to dad’s firm while he was in talks with Charles…

and Darcy. I told her everything I knew about why he was here, what he was doing, where he was going and who with,” she paused, laughing in disgust at herself.

“You know how much he irritated me at first, so, I didn’t care.

But then, I started to fall for him, and realize how ridiculous she was, so I stopped. ”

“Oh, Beth, how could…” Jane stopped, realizing that chastising her sister wasn’t what she needed right now. “The point is that you stopped though.”