Page 29 of Second Chances (Passion and Perseverance #2)

“I can’t say for sure, Beth, but I’m just trying to think of it from his point of view.

Of course, you didn’t do anything wrong, but I know how important you are to him.

I know what he has done for you and just maybe, trying to internalize the stress of dealing with his ex, trying to be in control of the situation, snapped a little when the first thing that happens is the person he cares most about says that they have to leave - for a legitimate, harmless reason; however, if his first instinct is to protect you, and your first action is to want to leave his protection…

” Jane trailed off, watching Beth’s brow crease as she seriously considered the possibility .

“I really didn’t even stop to consider that; my first thought was that we had already gone through a similar situation and we were just repeating the past,” Beth acknowledged.

“I know that we show love in different ways; I know that physical touch is important to him and that’s how he knows how much I care.

Every time that we argue or something bad happens, it’s always my response to him physically that comforts him, that shows him that I still love him and care about him.

I think he’s had so many people he cares about lie to him that that is the only way he knows how to truly gauge someone’s feelings. ”

“So maybe his physically asking you to stay was him asking for a show of your love, to give him the peace of mind knowing that you are safe with him?”

“Maybe…” Beth mused. “I know for me it’s not the same; because he has been so closed off, it’s that quality time when he opens up to me, shares his life and his happiness and hurt with me, that shows me that he loves me.

It’s like we speak two different languages and as much as I might understand his actions now, I can’t help but wonder if it’s always going to be like this? ”

“Oh, Beth,” Jane consoled her. “I don’t know for certain what will happen, but I know that you don’t learn another language in a month or two.

Even though you’ve immersed yourselves in each other’s lives for the past few weeks, I don’t think its been long enough to make that judgment call.

You said yourself that you’ve seen him changing.

Based on what you’ve told me, even though you might not understand at the moment, you know, for the most part, why he does the things that he does. It just takes time.”

Beth gave her sister a weak smile acknowledging her point. Of course, Jane was right. She felt the anger and hopelessness beginning to seep out of her.

“I know it can be frustrating, Beth, especially for you. You’re a perfectionist and when you want something done a certain way, you make sure it happens. Unfortunately, people don’t work like that. Change takes time; it takes patience.”

“I know,” Beth said, resigned .

It wasn’t like he had tied her down this time.

If she had forced him, she could have left.

What Jane had said, made her think. She knew how Darcy operated; she knew the types of gestures that he valued, that translated into expressions of love for him.

He had been extremely angry and agitated and on edge last night after the confrontation with his ex, and even though they had talked, she saw the stress on his face this morning that he had tried to hide.

Especially when she had given him a hard time about having his security follow her.

“He was trying to protect me the best way that he knows, by keeping me with him. I can see that now; I wish he could just say that though - if he could just ask me to stay because he is concerned. Not that I would have stayed but he could have come with me or something,” Beth continued.

“I know, but I’m sure that as time passes you’ll both learn to interpret each other’s actions and words better and be able to show your love for each other in the way that the other person understands and appreciates best. For Darcy, his actions speak louder than words, and he sees your love and concern for him in your physical connection and response. ”

“Now, I just have to make him understand that it’s not the same for me.

As much as our physical connection means to me, I still need that quality time and communication otherwise I feel like I’m locked out of his life.

” Even though I know that he’s let me in more than most, being his first physical connection in five years.

Beth didn’t tell Jane that last part; certain details weren’t hers to reveal.

“Are you ok?” Jane asked, recognizing how much Beth had calmed down since they first sat down .

“I mean, I’m feeling a lot better, thanks to you,” Beth replied giving her sister a grateful smile.

“I was just so overwhelmed earlier, with everything that happened last night and then trying to rush out to get to meet you guys on time, that when Darcy semi-forced me to stay, my mind just went to the worst possible explanation - that this is just how he is and will never change. Which is partially true, but it’s not the whole story.

I just spiraled and overreacted, but I’ll be ok once I talk to him.

We both just assume that the other understands what we are trying to communicate, but if we communicate in different ways, we are always going to run into problems. I think we just need to be patient and understanding of what the other person needs.

Patience and compromise don’t come naturally to us though,” Beth ended with a small laugh.

“You will get there,” Jane encouraged her, “I just don’t want you to give up on something that you know is worth it, someone that you love, out of momentary frustrations and miscommunications.”

“I know, thank you.” Beth hugged her sister. “I love you. You are my voice of reason. What would I do without you?”

“That’s what sisters are for. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there for me when Charles left.

I know it’s not the same and even though Charles and I communicate more similarly than you and Darcy, we still have disagreements; we still misinterpret each other’s actions sometimes, but love is all about learning; learning about the other person, of course, but also learning about yourself, and what makes you feel loved. ”

Before Beth could respond, Jane heard her phone ringing in the kitchen and got up to see who was calling, leaving Beth alone for a moment to think about everything that Jane had said, vaguely overhearing Jane’s part of the conversation.

“Hey, I’m back at the apartment talking to Beth. What’s up?”

“Oh, ok. Yeah, she is ok. I’ll call you later.”

“Ok. Love you too.”

“Who was that?” Beth asked as Jane came back into the living room.

“Charles. ”

“Oh, did Darcy call him?”

“Yeah,” Jane responded hesitantly. “Well, kind of; he called Charles and then went over there while Charles called me. He’s really worried about you; Charles said especially because your phone is turned off.”

Beth gave her sister a wry smile. Of course, Darcy hadn’t given up trying to talk to her.

Guilt washed over her, thinking of how he must feel, knowing that she didn’t want to talk to him and then her phone going right to voicemail.

He was already worried about her and she’d just added to his worry out of anger.

“I should go talk to him; he wasn’t right in how he responded to me wanting to leave, but I wasn’t considerate in my response to him either.”

“If you are sure; you know you are welcome to stay here if you want,” Jane offered.

“I know, but I want to fix this. Or try to at least,” Beth admitted. She hated letting things go unresolved - part of her obsession with needing to know everything, including the outcome of this situation.

Beth turned her phone back on to see three more missed calls from Darcy and three text messages.

- Of course. I want to talk when you are ready.

- Please let me know that you made it to your apartment safely.

- Beth, are you ok?

That’s when he must have tried to call her again.

“Yeah, I have to go,” Beth said, suddenly impatient with needing to see him. “Wait, where is he? Is he still with Charles?”

“I don’t think so. Charles said Darcy was really agitated and just needed to be there while he called me, but then he was leaving. I’m assuming to head back to his apartment.”

“Ok, I’m sorry to dump all of this on you and then run but I just, all of a sudden…I just need to see him.”

Beth began to grab her things, pausing in the kitchen to stare at the roses.

“Just leave them, you can come get them later if you want them,” Jane assured her .

“Ok, thank you,” Beth replied, hugging her sister tightly, “I’m sorry again. I’ll let you know how things work out. Love you.”

“Love you,” Jane returned as she shut the door behind Beth.

Time to go home.