Page 36 of Seashells and Other Souvenirs

During the school year, I always dreaded Monday mornings. But it’s a whole lot easier to wake up early when I know it increases the chance I’ll get to spend a few extra minutes with Jude before he goes to work in the afternoon.

He and Donovan left before seven for Donovan’s first surf lesson with Ty. It’s almost nine, and there’s still no sign of them, so I settle back into the couch and start another video on my laptop.

I’m halfway through a review of first aid procedures when the door opens and in walks Jude, hair a mess and towel in hand. Straight-From-The-Beach Jude might be my favorite version of him. He always looks so content, so himself , after he’s spent time in the ocean.

“Good morning, Alex.”

I pause my video. “Where’s Donovan?”

“Kelsey took him out for breakfast. He did a really good job this morning, but he was frustrated he wasn’t surfing like Tyler yet. He wasn’t a fan of falling.”

“I think he gets that from his uncle.”

“Being terrible at surfing?”

I shake my head. “Being competitive.”

He makes a face and steps closer to the couch. “What are you working on?”

“Professional development videos I have to watch before the new school year starts. I probably should have started before now, but I didn’t want to think about it yet.”

When he doesn’t respond, I assume he’s as dangerously close to overthinking what the end of this summer will mean as I am. “I can finish this later,” I say. “Let’s do something fun this morning.”

“No, go ahead and keep watching. I need to shower anyway. I’ll be back in a few.”

I press play and try to distract myself until he returns. Like Sutton said, I can’t afford to get in my own head right now.

I do my best to ignore him when he walks back through wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and sweatpants and opens the microwave.

The sound of kernels popping finally gets me. “What are you doing?”

“Breakfast of champions,” he calls back.

A minute later, he joins me on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn. “Okay. Catch me up.”

“Well.” I take a handful of popcorn. “We’re on step three of the five-step weather emergency plan.”

“Sounds riveting.”

“You have no idea.” I pause the video. “Seriously, Jude. I can watch these while you’re at work. This is not how you want to spend your morning. It’s not even how I want to spend my morning.”

“You’ll be with Donovan this afternoon though. Besides, I actually kind of love this.”

“Boring safety videos?”

“The adventures and traditions are fun, Alex. But the regular stuff? Grocery shopping, sitting in the kitchen, this.” He shrugs. “It’s nice to do everyday life with someone you really like being around.”

“Well, in that case.” I move the bowl of popcorn to the coffee table, lift his arm around my shoulders, and snuggle in closer before clicking the button on my computer.

I don’t absorb any of the last points of the presentation; I’ll have to rewatch it later, but I don’t care.

“You smell really good,” I tell him as the screen goes dark. Part of me can’t believe I said it out loud, that I’m flirting with Jude so unashamedly. But he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you.” He chuckles, and when I turn my head, his face is mere inches away. The way his eyes scan my face makes me wonder for one beautifully panicked second if he’s about to kiss me. But then, he clears his throat.

“What’s up next?” He gestures to my laptop.

“Actually.” I sit forward. “I was wondering if you might want to help me with a project. It’s a normal everyday type task too, but it’s more interesting than this.”

“Sure.”

I close the browser on my computer and open the photo files.

“Every year, one of us girls compiles our vacation pictures into a photo book. It’s my turn.

But I was thinking about doing something a little different.

” I pull up a new window. “I thought I might take some of the stories I’ve been writing down and add them in with some older photos too. ”

“I think that’s a great idea.” He surveys the work I’ve pulled up on the screen. “I’ve reread those stories in the notebook more times than I feel comfortable telling you. They’re really well written; I almost feel like I’m there when I read them.”

“You were there for a lot of them, Jude. That’s part of what made them so special.” I enjoy his soft smile for a moment before I shift to the real reason I brought this up. “I want to make a separate book just for our poems, for us. So we can each have a copy. What do you think?”

His demeanor shifts. “Yeah. That’d be cool.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing.”

He sighs. “It’s a good idea. Just feels weird to think of our poems being anywhere other than the notebook in the kitchen drawer is all.”

“I know. But there’s only one notebook, and we can’t both keep it.”

“Exactly.”

This is a conversation I cannot entertain right now, and I wonder how many times over the next few days we’ll end up back here, fighting to stay in the present moment, pushing away the inevitable.

I need to change the subject, but I’m drawing a blank.

“You know what?” He steps between me and my painful thoughts. “I could show you how to use my camera, and we could take some pictures around the island to go with the poetry if you want.”

I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can answer. “I’d love that.”

“Popcorn for breakfast yesterday and slushies on the beach today,” I comment as I take the koozie and spoon he just bought from the cart. “I never thought I’d need anything more than tiny boxes of cereal, but now I can’t wait for tomorrow morning.”

“You’re on your own tomorrow.” Jude sits back down in his beach chair with his own slushie. “Wednesdays are my long days, remember? But.” He takes a bite. “It’s my last day.”

“And then, our date,” I remind him.

“I can make you breakfast Thursday morning after Donovan’s lesson if you want, before we go. I was thinking of instituting a weekly pancake day anyway.”

“You mean a . . . tradition?” I lift my sunglasses.

“I wish I’d put it together sooner that anything can be a tradition and that I didn’t need anyone’s permission to start one. I probably missed out on a lot of things that could have become fun memories like the ones you have.”

“We’re making up for it now.” I push the crushed ice around my cup with my spoon. “In fact, I think we’ve covered most of the major traditions on my list. We should spend the next few days starting new ones, things Donovan can grow up treasuring.”

“I’ve already been brainstorming.” He holds out his slushie so I can try the blue, and I hand him my red one. “What do you think about a ‘Christmas in July’ day?”

I gasp. “I think that might be the best idea I’ve ever heard. Will there be a tree?”

“Obviously. And a movie marathon.” He leans back in his chair. “I didn’t get to see Kelsey and Donovan last year for Christmas, so gotta pull out all the stops.”

I want to spend Christmas with Jude.

The thought pops into my head so suddenly and unexpectedly that it takes my breath away.

“Okay.” Jude picks up his book. “Back to reading. I need to let you get into this story.”

I stare at the thick volume in my own lap. “Mr. Tolkien is boring me with descriptions right now.”

“Give it time. It’ll grow on you.”

I crack open the pages and shake my head. The things we do for the people we love. “We’ll see.”