Page 86 of Scorched Earth (Dark Shores #4)

“Sir!” Racker shook Marcus hard, but he only shoved the surgeon away, then returned to gripping the balustrade, knuckles bleached white and nails scratching the stone.

“Restrain him,” Racker ordered, and with grimaces, Felix and Quintus grabbed hold of Marcus’s arms. They were stronger than him, yet Marcus fought them like a thing possessed.

“I have to watch!” he screamed at them, the pupils of his eyes drowning out the irises despite the brilliant sunshine. “I need to see the smoke!”

“We have time.” Felix forced him to his knees. “Wex will need time to set up the explosives. They’ll need to do it carefully or they’ll take out the entire stem—you know that.”

Yet it was as though Felix hadn’t spoken, for Marcus only fought harder, desperately trying to look over his shoulder even as the worst sort of threats poured from his lips.

Teriana’s pulse roared with fear, and heedless of the jostling men, she threw herself at him. Catching hold of the sides of Marcus’s face, she forced him to look at her. “I’ll watch. I’ll watch the city for any sign of smoke. Red, right?”

He stared at her, and it felt like staring into a void. “Red, yes. But the size as well. If the explosives go off at the wrong time, this will be for nothing. We’ll have to start over with a new stem.” He sucked in a breath. “You can’t look away. We can’t miss it.”

“As though we’d miss that earthquake,” Felix muttered. “Marcus, we’re watching. Answer Racker’s questions, all right?”

Marcus only stared at her.

“I won’t look away.” Taking hold of his hand, she stood up and fixed her gaze on the city sprawled in the distance, never mind that tears were streaming down her face.

“How long have you been taking the narcotics?” Racker asked, voice calm. “And how frequently?”

Silence.

Teriana clenched her teeth, almost afraid to blink lest she miss whatever signal Wex would send, though she knew that was irrational given it was to be an explosion.

“I can’t sleep,” Marcus finally answered. “Too many dreams. It takes away the dreams.”

“How long? How often.”

“The night Titus died. Every… every night I had enough time.”

Racker let out a long breath. “I knew someone was stealing from my stores, but I thought it was one of the medics. Not you. ”

“I can take what I want.”

The surgeon huffed out a breath, but only asked, “What about the stimulant?”

Marcus didn’t answer him, only said, “Teriana, are you watching?”

“Yes.” It was a struggle to stifle her sobs. “I’m watching.”

“Marcus, how long?” Racker repeated.

“I don’t know. A week, maybe.” His voice was bitter as he added, “I needed to be able to think. ”

“The thoughts of the dead have little value,” Racker snapped.

“Better to be dead than for this plan to have failed.”

There was a flash of light in the center of the city, and a heartbeat later, a boom . Teriana blinked, watching as a stream of crimson smoke floated up into the sky. “Red,” she said. “Red smoke.”

But Marcus was already on his feet, staring out at the plume. “Padria. The genesis is in Padria.”

Teriana looked to Felix, who said, “It’s an hour’s hard ride east of Celendrial. Wex must have had a signal chain waiting for this to have happened so quickly. Using black powder with xenthier can go… badly.”

“Will…” She swallowed hard. “Will the Senate deem Padria secure?”

“There could be no more secure a location,” Felix replied. “We’ll send terms to Kaira to remove her army from the city. She’ll have no choice. Once we hold Emrant, the Senate will send a few individuals back and forth to confirm, and then—”

“It’s done.” Marcus turned away from the city, then slid down the wall to sit on the stone.

She dropped to her knees next to him, her heart aching as his bloodshot gaze met hers.

“It’s over, Teriana. These paths are good, which means Cassius has no grounds to deny your people their liberty.

They’ll be free in days. So will the Quincense . So will you.”

Why doesn’t this feel like victory?

She was spared speaking as Racker knelt before Marcus. “I should have you restrained in medical. Should remove you from command, for as it stands, you are not fit to serve.”

Marcus’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t test me, Racker. I need to be in control of this.”

“You’re not even in control of yourself.” The Thirty-Seventh’s surgeon radiated disgust as he looked Marcus up and down. “Give me one reason why I don’t go to Zimo the moment his ships make port and ask him to assume command.”

“That would be unwise of you.” The threat in Marcus’s voice sent a chill over Teriana’s skin, and she fought the urge to rub her arms.

“Let’s not allow this to get out of hand.” Felix pushed between them. “We’ve won the day, and we’re finally going to get the chance to breathe.”

“He won’t be breathing long if he keeps this up.”

“Marcus,” Felix said, “just promise you won’t take any more. Please.”

Silence.

“Fine.”

“You have to look me in the eye every morning and every night,” Racker said. “Submit to search every day until I say otherwise. Agree, and I’ll hold my tongue.”

Marcus’s voice was half growl as he said, “Fine.”

Racker sat back on his heels, and Teriana couldn’t fault him for the distrust painted across his face, for Marcus’s tone implied everything but concession.

But he gave a slow nod. “I’m only agreeing to this because I believe you are capable of pulling yourself straight, sir.

And because, while I don’t agree with your choices, I do support the reasons you made them.

” His brown eyes fixed on Teriana. “Assuming the Gamdeshians yield control of Emrant, which I suspect they will, the cost of this mission was ten Gamdeshian lives taking the Orinok ford and perhaps two dozen injured, who will all recover. The historians prefer to write about victories that are bloody and brutal, but this was truly an undertaking that should be remembered for all time.”

Rising to his feet, the surgeon saluted, then departed.

“Felix, get word to Kaira that I want her out of the city within twenty-four hours,” Marcus said. “And I don’t want her army within fifty miles of Emrant until we come to terms on how this will go.”

How would it go? Teriana couldn’t help but wonder. And would she even be part of that conversation? Her people would be free, her ship and crew set loose upon the seas, which meant there was no reason for her to remain. “What if she refuses?”

“She’ll do it,” Marcus answered. “Everything Kaira does is to protect her people. That’s why she lost to us today.”

Felix inclined his head. “I’ll have a message sent. I trust Wex will wait for word from us before taking action.”

“That was the plan we agreed to, but I’d rather not trust to chance. Go now.”

“I’ll stay,” Quintus said to Felix. “You do what needs doing.”

Teriana could see that Felix was torn between doing his duty and remaining with Marcus, but he gave a tight nod. “I’ll post guards.”

After Felix left, Quintus said, “I’ll be in earshot. But short of our flying friend making an appearance, you should be safe enough up here.”

Shifting so she was sitting next to Marcus, Teriana rested her head against the stone and stared up at the sky. Not a single cloud marred the blue. Seagulls danced above them, filling the air with their cries, the sun warming her skin.

There was so much to be said. Weeks and weeks of words that both of them had locked in their cores that needed to come out, but Teriana said nothing for a long time.

Just breathed and breathed, waiting for elation to set in. Yet despite the legionnaires cheering victory in the fortress below, Teriana’s heart ached as though she’d suffered the greatest loss of her lifetime.

“I’m sorry.”

Teriana turned her head to look at Marcus, who had his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

She took the opportunity to take him in, to memorize everything, though she knew that his face was burned upon her soul.

That even if she lived to be a hundred, she’d be able to close her eyes and trace the hard lines of his jaw, the scar crossing his cheek, the swell of his bottom lip.

The blue-grey eyes that saw everything and betrayed nothing.

From the beginning there had been an ending.

This had never been destined to be a forever.

Yet faced with the end, her heart wanted to dig in its heels in a desperate attempt to stall time.

“For what? Because of you, my imprisoned people will be freed, and it was accomplished in such a way that they’ll not feel their lives came at the cost of others. ”

At least, not yet.

Marcus was quiet for a long time, then he said, “I thought if I just did everything perfectly that, at the end of this, you’d be able to walk away untouched.

That you’d be able to sail away with your crew and have your name untarnished by the Empire, your conscience clear.

These long months of your life would be but a brief ordeal that would fade with time because your hands wouldn’t be stained with innocent blood.

But it seems I’m destined to claim every fucking victory but the one I care about, because even though it’s me who has done every wrong, it’s your name they curse. It’s you they blame.”

A fate Teriana had long since accepted, but apparently Marcus had not. Teriana slowly came to terms with the understanding that all of this, all the tricks, the endless marching, and risks to his men’s lives had been in a pursuit of an impossible victory.

Because what the world thought of her wasn’t his battle to fight, it was hers. What mark she left upon Reath was of her own making, and it was time for her to quit dwelling on the scorched earth behind her and turn to the future she could help shape.