Page 36 of Scorched Earth (Dark Shores #4)

“You might understand that better when your balls drop, puppy,” Quintus muttered.

“But at least then your involvement made sense,” Nic continued, ignoring Quintus. “You had a purpose. Whereas now, I don’t understand why you came at all other than to sit in Quintus’s tent, drinking, gambling, and crying into your pillow while the rest of us work to save your people.”

Her cheeks burned hot. “Get out. Get out, or I’m going to let Quintus drown you in the latrines.”

“Fine.” Nic tossed a letter on her lap. “This was attached to a crate in our supplies. We have it set aside where the other legions won’t find it.

If you want it, ask Pullo and it’s yours.

” Then he pulled a gold coin out of his belt pouch and tossed it on top of the letter.

“Or you can buy yourself another bottle of rum.”

He gave a sharp whistle, and a heartbeat later, the mass of Fifty-First tumbled past the entrance of Quintus’s tent, shouting and laughing. Nic flung himself into the midst of the muddy boys, stole the ball from one, and raced off with it.

Taking a deep breath, Teriana opened the letter.

Teriana,

I’ve included this gift in the hopes it aids you in achieving our mutually desired ends.

Lucius Cassius

“What does it say?” Quintus asked.

Teriana crumbled it angrily in her fist. “Nothing I’m interested in. Cassius’s gifts always come with strings attached.”

“Austornic is an obnoxious little shit!” Quintus snarled, then he locked eyes with her. “Don’t even think about it, Teriana. You promised not to get involved, and allowing a child with grand ambitions for his military future to convince you to break that promise would be a mistake.”

“Except I am involved!” Growling in a mix of frustration and misery, Teriana pressed her fingers to her temples. “Nic wasn’t wrong about my people, and what does it say about me if I sit in your tent playing cards and drinking rum, trusting that others will save them?”

“Sometimes doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing.” Quintus frowned and grabbed her arms, giving her a gentle shake. “Breathe, Teriana.”

She gasped in a breath. “It feels like I’ve forgotten how. Who forgets how to breathe? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Her friend pulled her against him, and Teriana inhaled the scent of the cheap soap the legionnaires used, the familiarity relaxing the tension that had every muscle in her body twisted into ropes.

“If you weren’t losing your head, I’d question whether you had a heart, given the position you’re in.

But you’re only going to make things worse for yourself if you get in the middle of it. ”

Quintus was right. She knew he was right. Yet a seed of fear that hadn’t existed before had been planted in her heart. “What if Nic’s right? What if… what if Marcus isn’t okay?”

Quintus was silent, and the seed of fear began to take root. She’d seen Marcus rubbing at his head, the obvious pain he was suffering, the slight stagger to his walk. What if he’d pushed too far? What if he wouldn’t get better?

“Give him a few days to recover,” Quintus finally answered. “Don’t jump to conclusions.”

Yet Nic’s words sank into her soul, making her feel sick with her near uselessness in a situation where she was supposed to have been one of the most powerful players of all. “Do you think Nic’s right?”

Quintus crossed his arms and scowled. “No. I think Austornic had grand ambitions for what his role would be and is acting out because Marcus stomped on his dreams.”

“But what if he is unwell?” she asked, her voice barely audible. “What if that’s part of the reason he won’t speak to me? Because he knows I’ll see right through to the state he’s in.”

“Marcus broke things off while you were still in Celendrial, Teriana. So whatever his reasons are, they predate his jaunt through all those xenthier paths.” Reaching over, Quintus took her hand.

“This is just a baby legatus trying to flex his muscles and gain control he hasn’t earned.

Marcus was just like this at that age, although I’m only now appreciating how obnoxious it was for our minders.

Do you want me to tell Felix that Nic is meddling? ”

“No,” she said. “I don’t want him punished.”

“We might be doing him a favor in the long run,” Quintus said. “If he reaches a little too far in his ambitions, it could cause us all a fair bit of pain.”

She stared down at Cassius’s crumpled note. “Not yet.”

“More rum?” he offered, holding out the bottle.

Teriana shook her head. “I need to visit the latrines, and then I’m going to sleep.”

He winced. “You sure you don’t want to use the trench this time? Your shed is looking awfully foul.”

“Better filth than hanging my ass out in the open for everyone to see.”

“I can chase them all off, but it’s your call.

” Belting on his weapon, Quintus led her out of the tent, the light rain turning heavier as they wove toward the rear of the camp.

Darkness had fallen, the Fifty-First seeming to have finally settled their antics, and the only sound was the faint boom of thunder and chatter around campfires.

The stink of the latrines greeted her long before her eyes picked out the trench in the darkness. Ignoring the handful of men standing before it doing their business, she stalked toward the small shed that had once been allocated for her personal use.

“I’ll wait here,” Quintus said. “If you start to succumb to the stink, shout and I’ll rescue you.”

“Thanks.” She unhooked the lantern hanging outside the shed, then pulled open the door, bracing herself for the filth.

Instead, she was greeted by a naked woman perched on the disgusting bench.

“Hello, Teriana,” Astara said softly in Gamdeshian, pushing long dark hair back over her shoulder. “We thought that you were dead.”

“I’m surprised you’re not dead, lurking in this mess.

” Teriana wrinkled her nose at the disaster the legionnaires had made of her outhouse during her absence, though her comment was mostly to cover her shock.

Though this wasn’t the first time the shifter had approached her, Teriana had not realized Astara was still watching the camp. “Why are men so revolting?”

“Shut the door.”

Teriana pulled it shut behind her, flipping the latch before turning to face the shifter.

The prior time they’d met, Teriana had not had a lamp, so this was the first time she’d seen the other woman clearly.

In her early twenties, Astara was pretty, with large brown eyes framed with lush lashes, soft brown skin, and a figure that would make anyone look twice.

Skulking about was hardly necessary, because Teriana had no doubt the legionnaires would have happily allowed her into camp.

“How much do you know about where I’ve been? ”

“I’ve heard the chatter,” Astara answered. “They know I see well, but they don’t seem aware that my hearing is also excellent. Especially in the dark.”

An unexpected sense of resentment made Teriana clench her teeth, for it was yet another piece of information she’d have to choose whether to keep secret or not.

The endless dilemma of being on both sides of a conflict, and she hated it.

Hated the way it ate at her soul and kept her perpetually on edge.

“Then I won’t waste my breath. Why are you here? ”

“To find out the Cel commander’s intentions.”

“We aren’t precisely on speaking terms right now, so you would be better off eavesdropping on his men.”

“Ah, yes. Lover’s quarrel.” Astara’s tone was full of condemnation that made Teriana want to shove the woman down the hole in the bench into the shit below.

“Whose side are you on, Teriana? Because, I confess, it’s difficult to tell.

First you beg help of Gamdesh in defeating this incursion, but then you fall into bed with the Cel commander, disappear with him for many long weeks, only to return with yet another legion.

Albeit a legion of children.” Her pretty face twisted with disgust.

Teriana felt her temper snap. “You want to know whose side I’m on, Astara?

Neither. I’m stuck in the gods-damned middle is what I am.

Five hundred of my people are locked in a prison under the control of the cruelest man I’ve ever encountered, and if the Empire doesn’t get what it wants within six months, they will start executing them.

I’m my people’s only hope, so it’s their side that I’m on. ”

“Given that necessitates aiding your blackmailer, it amounts to you being on his side.” There was no sympathy in the woman’s voice. “What are five hundred lives compared to the millions in Gamdesh?”

Teriana squeezed her eyes shut, seeing the faces of her people shackled in the prison, Hostus’s laugh filling her ears. “They are everything to me. Gamdesh has Kaira, and you, and an enormous army with a fleet to rival any in the world. All my people have is me. ”

“No good ruler puts the few over the many.”

“I never said I’m a good ruler,” Teriana retorted. “But I do try to be a good person, and my peoples’ deaths are certain if I don’t act. Whereas what fate might befall Gamdesh is unknown. I won’t condemn my people for an unknown, and if you have a problem with that, you can kiss my ass.”

Astara tensed, and Teriana cursed herself for locking the door latch, because the shifter was nothing if not dangerous. Then a thought occurred to her. “Why are you so certain that Gamdesh is where the Empire’s eyes will turn? Katamarca is a far easier mark.”

The woman didn’t answer, and Teriana didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this silent confirmation of her theory about the terminuses in Gamdesh.

“You hold the key to my people’s salvation, don’t you,” she said softly.

“You hold it in your hands, the ability to save those innocent lives, yet you will do nothing.”

“Sometimes sacrifices need to be made.”

Teriana’s body quivered. It felt like she stood on a great precipice, warring between the decision to jump or to keep clinging to the edge.

Except Teriana always jumped. “I think it is Gamdesh that needs to make a choice. These legions are the weapon I’ll wield to save my people, and if you stand between me and Maarin liberty, the blow will fall harder than you can imagine.

Now if you don’t mind, I really need to pee. ”

Yanking down her trousers, Teriana relieved her aching bladder, then pulled her clothing back into place. Ignoring the stunned shifter, she flipped the latch on the door and exited the outhouse into the darkness of night.